tolitzpogi

I think he's talking about the validity period of the SLEC medical... if I remember correctly, they do a separate medical checkup in the US and might not use the SLEC medical as a reference...

Good tip. One thing you can do also is to set the refresh URL to just the dashboard, and once the available date shows up and you click on Continue, the URL changes and it and it will automatically disable Autorefresh because you are now on a different URL... happened to me when I did it

Just wanted to share my story of how the K-2 AOS interviews went for my two stepdaughters this year:
FIRST K-2 DAUGHTER
Age at AOS Interview: 17 years old
Interview Location: USICS Los Angeles Field Office
Interview Time: 1:30pm

Her AOS interview appointment was set at 1:30pm, so I was already nervous - I heard that appointments set in the afternoon if the case had some issues. But I was still optimistic and expecting a smooth appointment.
I was very prepared and brought a copy of her AOS paperwork along with some pictures, copies of her bank statements (for minor children), etc. I did the same for my wife's AOS interview last year so I was a bit confident, until they told us to proceed to a separate room for the interview. Alarm bells flashed immediately in my mind and they were justified as soon as we got there.
The lady who saw us was a small woman who looked Southeast Asian (almost looked Filipino) and not very friendly... actually, that's an understatement. It looked more like an interrogation than an interview. My step-daughter was feeling the hostility and became very nervous, and stuttered a bit when answering some questions. Since she was a minor, I volunteered some information that she wouldn't normally know (i.e. the lady asked if she knew what a K-2 was... what the hell!), but she snapped at me telling me to let my step-daughter answer the questions. So I kept my peace and allowed her to move forward with her "interrogation."
It was a very uncomfortable 30 minutes, and I would've gladly suffered through it if it meant she would be approved on the spot, but the lady started questioning why my step-daughter's AOS wasn't done at the same time as her mother. I reasoned that my wife came to the U.S. first and my step-daughter was designated "to-follow", allowing her to finish high school in the Philippines before she came here. The lady started to look confused and said she has never encountered a case where the K-2 dependent didn't arrive at the same time as the mother, nor has she encountered a K-2 whose AOS was separate from the mother. I again reasoned that my wife arrived first and was already an LPR, and that since my step-daughter arrived a few months later, her AOS was naturally separate, with its own set of forms including the affidavit of support. The lady was still shaking her head and said it's the first time she heard of that!
But the kicker was when she asked if I had my wife's AOS documents. I told her that I did not since my wife already has her green card, and my wife offered to show it to her, but the lady said she needs to verify something since the mother and the child should've filed for AOS together. I showed her our marriage certificate and even her embassy letter and USCIS NOAs showing the names of her two children as dependents. But the lady said she needs my wife's AOS documents. She then said she will need to look it up in their system, and that my step-daughter's approval will be on hold until she can look at those documents. She then gave us a letter showing we attended the interview and that the approval is pending further documents, but it was not an RFE (thank god).
Total elapsed time: 35 minutes.
We walked out of that room wondering what just happened. My step-daughter was asking if the reason she was not approved immediately was that she answered incorrectly, and I told her it wasn't, and explained that we were unlucky to be interviewed by someone who didn't know enough about the AOS process.
Good news was that her AOS was approved eventually - more than three months later... with no explanation as to why it was delayed.
* * * * *
SECOND K-2 DAUGHTER
Age at AOS Interview: 12 years old
Interview Location: USICS Los Angeles Field Office
Interview Time: 10:00am
With our not so good experience with her big sister's AOS interview, I made sure that my younger step-daughter's documentation was front-loaded to hell. I brought her AOS documents, my wife's AOS documents, and even my own Naturalization documents and U.S. passport, in case we encountered the witch lady again. I was carrying two fat folders in my arms filled with those documents and dozens of verification, from pictures to school papers to medical records. I was not taking any chances!
Interview time was 10am, and rumors had it that morning appointments were pretty fast and easy, but I expected the worst. This time our interviewer was a tall, old man who looked Korean, and he was G-R-U-M-P-Y! He wasn't a fan of idle chatter, and was even hesitant to shake my hand. He asked his questions like he was scolding my step-daughter, but I already coached her to keep smiling and answer questions directly. The questions were short and to the point - her address, her age, her birthdate, does she go to school, which school, who her father was, why (the hell) I wasn't her biological father, etc.
The only documents he asked for were our CA IDs, my wife's green card, and my step-daughter's EAD/AP & SS card. He looked at them, stepped out to make copies, came back, returned our cards, and put check marks on documents in a folder. He then signed a letter and told us my step-daughter was approved and to expect her green card in a few weeks. Then, as if as an afterthought, he told us congratulations.
Total elapsed time: 15 minutes.
The K-2 AOS interviews were in direct contrast to my wife's AOS interview, which was very pleasant and cordial, and lasted 8 minutes. Anyway, that's my story and I wish those who will go through the K-2 AOS interview the best of luck.
Just watch out for tiny witch woman and grumpy old fart for those who have interviews in Los Angeles...

I think there may be something here you're not telling us... you may be having constant arguments with her about whatever that might be prompting her to behave the way she's allegedly behaving.
My wife is a firecracker and changes moods faster than I can change my underwear, but I know she loves me and cares for me regardless of our constant arguments. In her case, what she earns at work is hers and hers alone and I don't intrude in her finances, because she sends money to her parents in the PI and spoils her two children here. I have learned not to expect her to share in the bills and contribute to the rent for now (mainly because her paycheck is minuscule compared to mine), and her penchant for shopping for new clothes has often been a sore point for me. But I have learned to weigh in the good with the bad, and in my eyes she has way more positive points, and that's what I think about every time I have the urge to start an argument.
Granted, she cooks and cleans the house, albeit not as often as I want to, but she does her part and I always compliment her and praise her on her cooking. She is visibly happier when she talks to her parents and siblings on Skype than she is with me, but that is a given since she knows them way longer than she has known me.
I guess my point is to understand where she's coming from. I don't blame her for wanting to go back to the Philippines, it's another given for those who relocate to another country without the family they grew up with (not just for those from the Philippines), but I guess the tighter the family relationship, the stronger the desire is to reconnect, and Philippine family structures are one of the tightest in the world.
Ultimately the decision is up to you. You have control over the situation and you know best what the current circumstances are. Everyone wants to be happy. She wants to do what makes her happy, so I suggest you do the same as well.
Good luck.

I assume you're not generalizing, because if you were, you'll open a can of worms that'll just get you embarrassed
Weren't you the one who petitioned for her to be with you, which is why she left her country? Or did she force you to have her go there and stay with you against your will?
Stay reasonable and avoid blaming an entire people for your personal frustrations...

I think there may be something here you're not telling us... you may be having constant arguments with her about whatever that might be prompting her to behave the way she's allegedly behaving.
My wife is a firecracker and changes moods faster than I can change my underwear, but I know she loves me and cares for me regardless of our constant arguments. In her case, what she earns at work is hers and hers alone and I don't intrude in her finances, because she sends money to her parents in the PI and spoils her two children here. I have learned not to expect her to share in the bills and contribute to the rent for now (mainly because her paycheck is minuscule compared to mine), and her penchant for shopping for new clothes has often been a sore point for me. But I have learned to weigh in the good with the bad, and in my eyes she has way more positive points, and that's what I think about every time I have the urge to start an argument.
Granted, she cooks and cleans the house, albeit not as often as I want to, but she does her part and I always compliment her and praise her on her cooking. She is visibly happier when she talks to her parents and siblings on Skype than she is with me, but that is a given since she knows them way longer than she has known me.
I guess my point is to understand where she's coming from. I don't blame her for wanting to go back to the Philippines, it's another given for those who relocate to another country without the family they grew up with (not just for those from the Philippines), but I guess the tighter the family relationship, the stronger the desire is to reconnect, and Philippine family structures are one of the tightest in the world.
Ultimately the decision is up to you. You have control over the situation and you know best what the current circumstances are. Everyone wants to be happy. She wants to do what makes her happy, so I suggest you do the same as well.
Good luck.

I assume you're not generalizing, because if you were, you'll open a can of worms that'll just get you embarrassed
Weren't you the one who petitioned for her to be with you, which is why she left her country? Or did she force you to have her go there and stay with you against your will?
Stay reasonable and avoid blaming an entire people for your personal frustrations...

I think there may be something here you're not telling us... you may be having constant arguments with her about whatever that might be prompting her to behave the way she's allegedly behaving.
My wife is a firecracker and changes moods faster than I can change my underwear, but I know she loves me and cares for me regardless of our constant arguments. In her case, what she earns at work is hers and hers alone and I don't intrude in her finances, because she sends money to her parents in the PI and spoils her two children here. I have learned not to expect her to share in the bills and contribute to the rent for now (mainly because her paycheck is minuscule compared to mine), and her penchant for shopping for new clothes has often been a sore point for me. But I have learned to weigh in the good with the bad, and in my eyes she has way more positive points, and that's what I think about every time I have the urge to start an argument.
Granted, she cooks and cleans the house, albeit not as often as I want to, but she does her part and I always compliment her and praise her on her cooking. She is visibly happier when she talks to her parents and siblings on Skype than she is with me, but that is a given since she knows them way longer than she has known me.
I guess my point is to understand where she's coming from. I don't blame her for wanting to go back to the Philippines, it's another given for those who relocate to another country without the family they grew up with (not just for those from the Philippines), but I guess the tighter the family relationship, the stronger the desire is to reconnect, and Philippine family structures are one of the tightest in the world.
Ultimately the decision is up to you. You have control over the situation and you know best what the current circumstances are. Everyone wants to be happy. She wants to do what makes her happy, so I suggest you do the same as well.
Good luck.

I assume you're not generalizing, because if you were, you'll open a can of worms that'll just get you embarrassed
Weren't you the one who petitioned for her to be with you, which is why she left her country? Or did she force you to have her go there and stay with you against your will?
Stay reasonable and avoid blaming an entire people for your personal frustrations...

I think there may be something here you're not telling us... you may be having constant arguments with her about whatever that might be prompting her to behave the way she's allegedly behaving.
My wife is a firecracker and changes moods faster than I can change my underwear, but I know she loves me and cares for me regardless of our constant arguments. In her case, what she earns at work is hers and hers alone and I don't intrude in her finances, because she sends money to her parents in the PI and spoils her two children here. I have learned not to expect her to share in the bills and contribute to the rent for now (mainly because her paycheck is minuscule compared to mine), and her penchant for shopping for new clothes has often been a sore point for me. But I have learned to weigh in the good with the bad, and in my eyes she has way more positive points, and that's what I think about every time I have the urge to start an argument.
Granted, she cooks and cleans the house, albeit not as often as I want to, but she does her part and I always compliment her and praise her on her cooking. She is visibly happier when she talks to her parents and siblings on Skype than she is with me, but that is a given since she knows them way longer than she has known me.
I guess my point is to understand where she's coming from. I don't blame her for wanting to go back to the Philippines, it's another given for those who relocate to another country without the family they grew up with (not just for those from the Philippines), but I guess the tighter the family relationship, the stronger the desire is to reconnect, and Philippine family structures are one of the tightest in the world.
Ultimately the decision is up to you. You have control over the situation and you know best what the current circumstances are. Everyone wants to be happy. She wants to do what makes her happy, so I suggest you do the same as well.
Good luck.

A little planning and research could've saved you half the time and visits you just did. The SS and DMV have mandatory requirements, depending on what state you are in. I suggest doing due diligence in the future.
Good luck!

A little planning and research could've saved you half the time and visits you just did. The SS and DMV have mandatory requirements, depending on what state you are in. I suggest doing due diligence in the future.
Good luck!

A little planning and research could've saved you half the time and visits you just did. The SS and DMV have mandatory requirements, depending on what state you are in. I suggest doing due diligence in the future.
Good luck!

As almost "everyone" have said in this thread, it's not about the guy not allowing his wife to gain new friends and meet new people, it's the way the wife sprung the topic on him and the desire to take a ride with a stranger.
As has been said over and over, it's not about trust, it's about mutual respect and communication. Marriage may not mean you have to do EVERYTHING together, but it does mean you have to do MOST of them together. And don't just do your own thing whenever you want, you're no longer single, y'know... talk to your husband, for pete's sake.
If my wife asks me if she can carpool with a stranger, especially one from the opposite sex, distrust is not the first emotion - it's anxiety and fear for her safety. It's when she doesn't mention beforehand what the purpose was for the meet up and just springs it all on me and then asks me if it was okay to do so... that's when I feel a tinge of distrust.
I sincerely hope those two work it out.

Speaking as a man and a fairly newly wed individual, I can somewhat understand his reaction.
1. Your desire to meet up with other people, especially strangers, gives out the impression that you're already bored with him and your life here, and that you want to spend time with someone else other than him. Sure, it's insecurity on his part, but think about it: you're married to him, and you are still in a relatively early stage of your marital relationship, and you want to meet up with strangers to satisfy something that may or may not be lacking in your relationship with your husband. The difference in age only makes it worse, because he feels threatened about people he does not know spending time with his wife, regardless of how harmless it is.
2. Chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy or possessiveness, but put yourself in his shoes: He has a young wife for whom he went through all the trouble bringing here to start a new life and he is thinking that you have found happiness with him. And then you spring this meetup to him without asking him if it was okay to begin with. You said yourself that he isn't the socializing type - which leads him to believe that since you wanted to meet up with strangers, you find their companionship more enjoyable than his, and he begins to question himself and whether or not he can make you happy.
3. The rift with his sister does contribute to his insecurity. I am 100% sure that he hears some unflattering things about you from her, but you said that you were in relatively good terms at first. Being in a new country is all about adjustments. In-laws are always troublesome because they do not know you that well yet.
I had the same experience with my mother and my brother, who initially said bringing my fiancee (now wife) here is not a good idea, and since she already had children, they said all sorts of things like her trying to take advantage of me and just being with me for the green card so she can petition an alleged boyfriend (of the father of the kids). But once she finally got here, she did her best to get closer to them. In Filipino terms, binobola bola niya para mapalapit ang loob (bluffing her way and kidding with them until they felt comfortable with her). Now, my mother buys her clothes, and my brother even helped decorate and prepare the room that her daughters are gonna be staying in.
4. You should understand that international marriages are wrought with scams, and they are also scared. You should gain their trust and roll with it until they are comfortable with you and start thinking of you as family instead of "that young girl who married someone older."
5. As I said before, you went about it the wrong way... you told him that you will be going with a stranger to a meetup, without asking him first if (a) it was okay for you to go alone, (b) can he go with you because there will be strangers there, and © pleading for him to come with you, even if you already know he probably inconvenience him. The point I'm making is you consult with him since he's your husband, and because you are new to the country. You should apologize to him and ask him to forgive you for not asking him first, and explain calmly your intentions for making those preparations without consulting him. You seemed to have good intentions, but the problem is he does not know about them. Communication is the key. And do this with his sister as well. Sit down with her and be open about your concerns. Tell her that you want to get along with her because you are now family. Maybe tell her that you don't like cats, and that you didn't mean anything bad with your earlier actions. My wife and I get into arguments, but we don't let it simmer. She wants to go outside a lot because she was bored inside the house, but she asks me if she can go. She tells me where she is going. She does not meet with strangers unless I was with her. And I do the same with her. If you do love your husband, work on your relationship. Work on your marriage. Ego will net you a divorce. Good luck.

As almost "everyone" have said in this thread, it's not about the guy not allowing his wife to gain new friends and meet new people, it's the way the wife sprung the topic on him and the desire to take a ride with a stranger.
As has been said over and over, it's not about trust, it's about mutual respect and communication. Marriage may not mean you have to do EVERYTHING together, but it does mean you have to do MOST of them together. And don't just do your own thing whenever you want, you're no longer single, y'know... talk to your husband, for pete's sake.
If my wife asks me if she can carpool with a stranger, especially one from the opposite sex, distrust is not the first emotion - it's anxiety and fear for her safety. It's when she doesn't mention beforehand what the purpose was for the meet up and just springs it all on me and then asks me if it was okay to do so... that's when I feel a tinge of distrust.
I sincerely hope those two work it out.

As almost "everyone" have said in this thread, it's not about the guy not allowing his wife to gain new friends and meet new people, it's the way the wife sprung the topic on him and the desire to take a ride with a stranger.
As has been said over and over, it's not about trust, it's about mutual respect and communication. Marriage may not mean you have to do EVERYTHING together, but it does mean you have to do MOST of them together. And don't just do your own thing whenever you want, you're no longer single, y'know... talk to your husband, for pete's sake.
If my wife asks me if she can carpool with a stranger, especially one from the opposite sex, distrust is not the first emotion - it's anxiety and fear for her safety. It's when she doesn't mention beforehand what the purpose was for the meet up and just springs it all on me and then asks me if it was okay to do so... that's when I feel a tinge of distrust.
I sincerely hope those two work it out.

As almost "everyone" have said in this thread, it's not about the guy not allowing his wife to gain new friends and meet new people, it's the way the wife sprung the topic on him and the desire to take a ride with a stranger.
As has been said over and over, it's not about trust, it's about mutual respect and communication. Marriage may not mean you have to do EVERYTHING together, but it does mean you have to do MOST of them together. And don't just do your own thing whenever you want, you're no longer single, y'know... talk to your husband, for pete's sake.
If my wife asks me if she can carpool with a stranger, especially one from the opposite sex, distrust is not the first emotion - it's anxiety and fear for her safety. It's when she doesn't mention beforehand what the purpose was for the meet up and just springs it all on me and then asks me if it was okay to do so... that's when I feel a tinge of distrust.
I sincerely hope those two work it out.

I agree with Tolitzpogi, when I arrived here in the US. I found out that my husband has this meetup.com app in his ipad, and so it got me curious. I am younger than him by three years, and I am still skeptic about this kind of social platform. I learned that it is a site for people with the same hobbies and activities such as hiking, biking, etc. Sounds cool right. But you know maybe it is time to spend those extra time with him and go on an adventure together. My husband explained to me that he never actually went to a meetup, and that kind of relieved me. Hehe. Ofcourse I want him to have friends, but I don't want him to be surrounded by possible temptations that could lure him into something else. I know that you only want to meet friends, I am a stay-at-home wife and I have only a few friends here in the US so I understand what you feel. But this act of planning to get in a car with strangers isn't a good idea, it's dangerous for your safety and most importantly to your marriage.

My husband and I decided to go somewhere cool (local parks, swimming, vegan restaurants) TOGETHER regularly. Have fun together. Maybe your husband is feeling insecure because of the age gap.. and so maybe it is a good idea to make him feel loved and feel secure in your marriage by hanging out and having fun with him. Maybe you could both go out and meet good friends, like church friends or relatives.
Regarding your sister-in-law. ...you know what... my sister-in-law is also b****. In February, my husband decided to take me to San Francisco so I can meet his two siblings and that includes this not-very-well-mannered sister-in-law. She was acting like an evil queen during my 3-day stay at her apartment, acting like a socialite, and criticizing me. She also denied that she speaks Ilocano ( which is our local dialect in the Philippines).. and another sister-in-law said she actually can. LOL. I am not sure what's wrong with her. I remember wearing one of my dresses and caught her looking at me from head to toe like she's threatened or something. She's also bragging that she is a germaphobe blah blah, like I care right? Haha, I don't know maybe she doesn't like me. But my husband said we shouldn't care about trying to please her, he also told me that he will confront her sister if she does the same thing again. SO you know what, let's ignore these crazy SILs. Maybe you can still be nice around her, but you don't need to worry too much about how she views you. Just focus on your husband and your marriage. I really hope that you two can work it out. I believe that one of the important things we need to learn in marriage is being humble enough to listen to each other...my husband and I had battles too (we are newlyweds too) but we talk about it, try to make things better, and most especially, learn to have fun together and make happy memories together. All the best!

Westside represent!
L.A. boring? Does he live in Lancaster? Does he live in a dungeon?
I agree that it may be more than just the alleged boredom that's prompting him to go home. Did he move to the U.S. to be with his fiancee or to party all night? I don't get it. Priorities priorities, sacrifice sacrifice.
My wife was initially teetering on the edge of boredom because I was always out at work, but once I taught her how to use our (inept but otherwise convenient) public transportation system and showed her where the parks, beaches, and shopping malls were, she enjoyed it immensely. She even takes strolls around the neighborhood to get to know the area, which is easier to do because the climate is better than in the Philippines.
Anyway, once the guy goes back, he's not gonna be able to come back unless his fiancee reapplies for K1 or marries him here and then file for CR-1 - both cases will still mean a lot of wasted time and money.
I really don't like people who give up so easily and don't take into consideration the sacrifices made to get them to where they are. I sure hope it's more than just boredom for him to go back home, coz if it isn't, good riddance. Not good relationship material.

Westside represent!
L.A. boring? Does he live in Lancaster? Does he live in a dungeon?
I agree that it may be more than just the alleged boredom that's prompting him to go home. Did he move to the U.S. to be with his fiancee or to party all night? I don't get it. Priorities priorities, sacrifice sacrifice.
My wife was initially teetering on the edge of boredom because I was always out at work, but once I taught her how to use our (inept but otherwise convenient) public transportation system and showed her where the parks, beaches, and shopping malls were, she enjoyed it immensely. She even takes strolls around the neighborhood to get to know the area, which is easier to do because the climate is better than in the Philippines.
Anyway, once the guy goes back, he's not gonna be able to come back unless his fiancee reapplies for K1 or marries him here and then file for CR-1 - both cases will still mean a lot of wasted time and money.
I really don't like people who give up so easily and don't take into consideration the sacrifices made to get them to where they are. I sure hope it's more than just boredom for him to go back home, coz if it isn't, good riddance. Not good relationship material.

Speaking as a man and a fairly newly wed individual, I can somewhat understand his reaction.
1. Your desire to meet up with other people, especially strangers, gives out the impression that you're already bored with him and your life here, and that you want to spend time with someone else other than him. Sure, it's insecurity on his part, but think about it: you're married to him, and you are still in a relatively early stage of your marital relationship, and you want to meet up with strangers to satisfy something that may or may not be lacking in your relationship with your husband. The difference in age only makes it worse, because he feels threatened about people he does not know spending time with his wife, regardless of how harmless it is.
2. Chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy or possessiveness, but put yourself in his shoes: He has a young wife for whom he went through all the trouble bringing here to start a new life and he is thinking that you have found happiness with him. And then you spring this meetup to him without asking him if it was okay to begin with. You said yourself that he isn't the socializing type - which leads him to believe that since you wanted to meet up with strangers, you find their companionship more enjoyable than his, and he begins to question himself and whether or not he can make you happy.
3. The rift with his sister does contribute to his insecurity. I am 100% sure that he hears some unflattering things about you from her, but you said that you were in relatively good terms at first. Being in a new country is all about adjustments. In-laws are always troublesome because they do not know you that well yet.
I had the same experience with my mother and my brother, who initially said bringing my fiancee (now wife) here is not a good idea, and since she already had children, they said all sorts of things like her trying to take advantage of me and just being with me for the green card so she can petition an alleged boyfriend (of the father of the kids). But once she finally got here, she did her best to get closer to them. In Filipino terms, binobola bola niya para mapalapit ang loob (bluffing her way and kidding with them until they felt comfortable with her). Now, my mother buys her clothes, and my brother even helped decorate and prepare the room that her daughters are gonna be staying in.
4. You should understand that international marriages are wrought with scams, and they are also scared. You should gain their trust and roll with it until they are comfortable with you and start thinking of you as family instead of "that young girl who married someone older."
5. As I said before, you went about it the wrong way... you told him that you will be going with a stranger to a meetup, without asking him first if (a) it was okay for you to go alone, (b) can he go with you because there will be strangers there, and © pleading for him to come with you, even if you already know he probably inconvenience him. The point I'm making is you consult with him since he's your husband, and because you are new to the country. You should apologize to him and ask him to forgive you for not asking him first, and explain calmly your intentions for making those preparations without consulting him. You seemed to have good intentions, but the problem is he does not know about them. Communication is the key. And do this with his sister as well. Sit down with her and be open about your concerns. Tell her that you want to get along with her because you are now family. Maybe tell her that you don't like cats, and that you didn't mean anything bad with your earlier actions. My wife and I get into arguments, but we don't let it simmer. She wants to go outside a lot because she was bored inside the house, but she asks me if she can go. She tells me where she is going. She does not meet with strangers unless I was with her. And I do the same with her. If you do love your husband, work on your relationship. Work on your marriage. Ego will net you a divorce. Good luck.

Speaking as a man and a fairly newly wed individual, I can somewhat understand his reaction.
1. Your desire to meet up with other people, especially strangers, gives out the impression that you're already bored with him and your life here, and that you want to spend time with someone else other than him. Sure, it's insecurity on his part, but think about it: you're married to him, and you are still in a relatively early stage of your marital relationship, and you want to meet up with strangers to satisfy something that may or may not be lacking in your relationship with your husband. The difference in age only makes it worse, because he feels threatened about people he does not know spending time with his wife, regardless of how harmless it is.
2. Chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy or possessiveness, but put yourself in his shoes: He has a young wife for whom he went through all the trouble bringing here to start a new life and he is thinking that you have found happiness with him. And then you spring this meetup to him without asking him if it was okay to begin with. You said yourself that he isn't the socializing type - which leads him to believe that since you wanted to meet up with strangers, you find their companionship more enjoyable than his, and he begins to question himself and whether or not he can make you happy.
3. The rift with his sister does contribute to his insecurity. I am 100% sure that he hears some unflattering things about you from her, but you said that you were in relatively good terms at first. Being in a new country is all about adjustments. In-laws are always troublesome because they do not know you that well yet.
I had the same experience with my mother and my brother, who initially said bringing my fiancee (now wife) here is not a good idea, and since she already had children, they said all sorts of things like her trying to take advantage of me and just being with me for the green card so she can petition an alleged boyfriend (of the father of the kids). But once she finally got here, she did her best to get closer to them. In Filipino terms, binobola bola niya para mapalapit ang loob (bluffing her way and kidding with them until they felt comfortable with her). Now, my mother buys her clothes, and my brother even helped decorate and prepare the room that her daughters are gonna be staying in.
4. You should understand that international marriages are wrought with scams, and they are also scared. You should gain their trust and roll with it until they are comfortable with you and start thinking of you as family instead of "that young girl who married someone older."
5. As I said before, you went about it the wrong way... you told him that you will be going with a stranger to a meetup, without asking him first if (a) it was okay for you to go alone, (b) can he go with you because there will be strangers there, and © pleading for him to come with you, even if you already know he probably inconvenience him. The point I'm making is you consult with him since he's your husband, and because you are new to the country. You should apologize to him and ask him to forgive you for not asking him first, and explain calmly your intentions for making those preparations without consulting him. You seemed to have good intentions, but the problem is he does not know about them. Communication is the key. And do this with his sister as well. Sit down with her and be open about your concerns. Tell her that you want to get along with her because you are now family. Maybe tell her that you don't like cats, and that you didn't mean anything bad with your earlier actions. My wife and I get into arguments, but we don't let it simmer. She wants to go outside a lot because she was bored inside the house, but she asks me if she can go. She tells me where she is going. She does not meet with strangers unless I was with her. And I do the same with her. If you do love your husband, work on your relationship. Work on your marriage. Ego will net you a divorce. Good luck.

Speaking as a man and a fairly newly wed individual, I can somewhat understand his reaction.
1. Your desire to meet up with other people, especially strangers, gives out the impression that you're already bored with him and your life here, and that you want to spend time with someone else other than him. Sure, it's insecurity on his part, but think about it: you're married to him, and you are still in a relatively early stage of your marital relationship, and you want to meet up with strangers to satisfy something that may or may not be lacking in your relationship with your husband. The difference in age only makes it worse, because he feels threatened about people he does not know spending time with his wife, regardless of how harmless it is.
2. Chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy or possessiveness, but put yourself in his shoes: He has a young wife for whom he went through all the trouble bringing here to start a new life and he is thinking that you have found happiness with him. And then you spring this meetup to him without asking him if it was okay to begin with. You said yourself that he isn't the socializing type - which leads him to believe that since you wanted to meet up with strangers, you find their companionship more enjoyable than his, and he begins to question himself and whether or not he can make you happy.
3. The rift with his sister does contribute to his insecurity. I am 100% sure that he hears some unflattering things about you from her, but you said that you were in relatively good terms at first. Being in a new country is all about adjustments. In-laws are always troublesome because they do not know you that well yet.
I had the same experience with my mother and my brother, who initially said bringing my fiancee (now wife) here is not a good idea, and since she already had children, they said all sorts of things like her trying to take advantage of me and just being with me for the green card so she can petition an alleged boyfriend (of the father of the kids). But once she finally got here, she did her best to get closer to them. In Filipino terms, binobola bola niya para mapalapit ang loob (bluffing her way and kidding with them until they felt comfortable with her). Now, my mother buys her clothes, and my brother even helped decorate and prepare the room that her daughters are gonna be staying in.
4. You should understand that international marriages are wrought with scams, and they are also scared. You should gain their trust and roll with it until they are comfortable with you and start thinking of you as family instead of "that young girl who married someone older."
5. As I said before, you went about it the wrong way... you told him that you will be going with a stranger to a meetup, without asking him first if (a) it was okay for you to go alone, (b) can he go with you because there will be strangers there, and © pleading for him to come with you, even if you already know he probably inconvenience him. The point I'm making is you consult with him since he's your husband, and because you are new to the country. You should apologize to him and ask him to forgive you for not asking him first, and explain calmly your intentions for making those preparations without consulting him. You seemed to have good intentions, but the problem is he does not know about them. Communication is the key. And do this with his sister as well. Sit down with her and be open about your concerns. Tell her that you want to get along with her because you are now family. Maybe tell her that you don't like cats, and that you didn't mean anything bad with your earlier actions. My wife and I get into arguments, but we don't let it simmer. She wants to go outside a lot because she was bored inside the house, but she asks me if she can go. She tells me where she is going. She does not meet with strangers unless I was with her. And I do the same with her. If you do love your husband, work on your relationship. Work on your marriage. Ego will net you a divorce. Good luck.

Speaking as a man and a fairly newly wed individual, I can somewhat understand his reaction.
1. Your desire to meet up with other people, especially strangers, gives out the impression that you're already bored with him and your life here, and that you want to spend time with someone else other than him. Sure, it's insecurity on his part, but think about it: you're married to him, and you are still in a relatively early stage of your marital relationship, and you want to meet up with strangers to satisfy something that may or may not be lacking in your relationship with your husband. The difference in age only makes it worse, because he feels threatened about people he does not know spending time with his wife, regardless of how harmless it is.
2. Chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy or possessiveness, but put yourself in his shoes: He has a young wife for whom he went through all the trouble bringing here to start a new life and he is thinking that you have found happiness with him. And then you spring this meetup to him without asking him if it was okay to begin with. You said yourself that he isn't the socializing type - which leads him to believe that since you wanted to meet up with strangers, you find their companionship more enjoyable than his, and he begins to question himself and whether or not he can make you happy.
3. The rift with his sister does contribute to his insecurity. I am 100% sure that he hears some unflattering things about you from her, but you said that you were in relatively good terms at first. Being in a new country is all about adjustments. In-laws are always troublesome because they do not know you that well yet.
I had the same experience with my mother and my brother, who initially said bringing my fiancee (now wife) here is not a good idea, and since she already had children, they said all sorts of things like her trying to take advantage of me and just being with me for the green card so she can petition an alleged boyfriend (of the father of the kids). But once she finally got here, she did her best to get closer to them. In Filipino terms, binobola bola niya para mapalapit ang loob (bluffing her way and kidding with them until they felt comfortable with her). Now, my mother buys her clothes, and my brother even helped decorate and prepare the room that her daughters are gonna be staying in.
4. You should understand that international marriages are wrought with scams, and they are also scared. You should gain their trust and roll with it until they are comfortable with you and start thinking of you as family instead of "that young girl who married someone older."
5. As I said before, you went about it the wrong way... you told him that you will be going with a stranger to a meetup, without asking him first if (a) it was okay for you to go alone, (b) can he go with you because there will be strangers there, and © pleading for him to come with you, even if you already know he probably inconvenience him. The point I'm making is you consult with him since he's your husband, and because you are new to the country. You should apologize to him and ask him to forgive you for not asking him first, and explain calmly your intentions for making those preparations without consulting him. You seemed to have good intentions, but the problem is he does not know about them. Communication is the key. And do this with his sister as well. Sit down with her and be open about your concerns. Tell her that you want to get along with her because you are now family. Maybe tell her that you don't like cats, and that you didn't mean anything bad with your earlier actions. My wife and I get into arguments, but we don't let it simmer. She wants to go outside a lot because she was bored inside the house, but she asks me if she can go. She tells me where she is going. She does not meet with strangers unless I was with her. And I do the same with her. If you do love your husband, work on your relationship. Work on your marriage. Ego will net you a divorce. Good luck.