user19000

Obese or Skinny or fit/ beautiful or ugly/ old or young/desperate or not desperate anybody can be used I don't see the point of saying she is obese n older. Karma is a ! He will pay. It's out of your hands move on...

what he's doing is not good. but I would just move on also. Looks are not everything. weight can be lost, age is just a number. It maybe a chance that she's doing something no other woman has ever done and that captured his heart. regardless whatever he has up his sleeve want last for long.

If you divorced him, why are you still lurking around trying to figure out what is going on in his life? Trust me, It's only going to make you more bitter and when you are a bitter person, it makes you bad. Please move on with your life and don't concern yourself with what happens to him regarding USCIS, that's his problem NOT yours. Have a good day!

I'm not sure why any of this still matters to you. You are divorced. Whatever USCIS does, it is between him, and his new wife.

The Philippines has no divorce, period. They do have annulment, but its not so easy to get. Takes time, lots of time if you don't have money, and still long if you do have the money. This doesn't change if they marry someone in country or out of country. If they do marry someone from outside their country, they actually have the chance for a short cut to terminating the marriage. As long as the foreign spouse files for divorce. This is a benefit they would never get if they married another Philippines citizen. So you've actually taken a positive, and are saying its a negative. And believe me, Philippine marriages split up just as often as American marriages, they just rarely legally terminate the marriage. Since they can't legally marry again, they just start living with someone new and say they're married. They used to actually marry again, but now checking the national registry of marriages is required to get married.
Now here's a big advantage to the Philippine citizen when they come on a K-1. If they come on a K-1 and marry a UCS, they can skip reporting the marriage. Should the marriage end, they can divorce in the USA, and still have been considered unmarried the entire time in their own country. A CR-1 visa holder doesn't get that option. Such as the case with the OP here, she married in the Philippines, the marriage is recorded at the NSO (National Statistics Office). The K-1's marriage in the USA is only recorded by the NSO if the Philippine citizen reports the marriage through the consulate in charge of the area where the marriage took place.

The Philippines has those laws because they value marriage so highly. She can end her marriage there, if she choses to. Its not easy and takes a long time, if you don't have the money. Its faster if you have the money. But no matter how you want to slice it, it is their country, their rules, their culture. Marriage is not meant to be entered into lightly, and to help enforce that, you can't get out of a marriage easily either.
You posted here, blaming the K-1 for the problem, even though she came on a CR-1. I've debated the entire K-1 issue with you, doesn't matter what a person says, doesn't matter what solutions could be found, you're against K-1's and blame them no matter what. There could easily be solutions to the problems with K-1s, you don't care as you just want to see them ended. I even brought up what if the K-1 automatically got a green card like a spousal visa does, and still you were against the K-1. That alone made the difference between a K-1 and CR-1 nothing more than where and when they get married.
You think getting to the USA is an end all in itself. Family unification visas, are to unify families, period. K-1 visas are so a family can be formed. These visas are there so US citizens can experience life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. They are not there so foreign nationals can get the chance to get to the USA somehow and then screw over the person who loved them and thought they were loved in return. There are other visas to give foreign nationals the chance to enter the USA. They are controlled as to how many people can enter on each visa type, so the USA can control the amount of immigration into the USA. Like it or not, there would be no family unification visas, or K-1 visas if they not created to benefit the US citizen. Nowhere in their creation was the thought they should be there to benefit the foreign national.
Now does that put the foreign national under the control of the US citizen. Yes it certainly does. It is at the discretion of the US citizen to bring a spouse of fiancee to the USA. It is also up to them to be responsible for that foreign national. To treat them well, to adjust their status and support them. To not abuse them, you know we have laws against abuse in this country. Any foreign national, spouse or fiancee is going to be totally dependent and the person who sponsored them. They should know who the heck they are marrying, they should know this person is not an abusive person. Half the problem is you have foreign nationals dieing the get into the USA. They'll marry or come on a K-1 with someone they hardly know for the chance at a better life. Is it any wonder there are some that end up with a bad seed? With an abusive person? Heck even some of those immigrants are the abusive ones and abuse the US citizen spouse.
Simple put, there are abusive people out there. Its not the visa, its the people that cause the problems and you can't write laws that change what people are.

Many immigrants go significantly long times in country before they land a job. Even longer until they can work their way up to a job that pays enough to support themselves. A chance to work and actually supporting themselves are two very different things. And if the marriage ends that fast, why do they really want to stay if the marriage was really the reason they came to the USA? If we're going to have this silly ROC for K-1's and CR-1's, why do they even allow divorce waivers? It makes no sense at all to make it conditional on marriage, then turn around and say "oh you got divorced, just check this box then and get a 10 year card, BTW that will be $580 please".
So whats so much better? A K-1 who can't work and must go home? Or a CR-1 who can't find a job, can't support themselves, and can't even get welfare to survive? As if we need more people on the welfare rolls. I see very little difference between the two situations. Many CR-1's stay in abusive relationships not because they can't legally stay, but because they see no way to survive if they leave their spouse. So do many citizens for that matter. And they're just as controlled and abused as the K-1 that has getting a green card held over their heads.
But still you see ending K-1 visas as the solution to all these problems, that the ability to get a green card solves that. If the green card is the issue, then just give the K-1 immigrant a green card when they arrive, problem solved right? If you're going to pass a law to remove the K-1, you could just as easily pass a law to allow them green cards without marriage. Well maybe not with this congress, which could pass a bill to cross the street, but theoretically you could.

Banishing the K-1 wouldn't solve any problem beyond the unmarried and abandonded fiancee. We'd just have more abandonded immigrant spouses who don't know how to survive in the USA, and as many that to want return without the means to return home. Requiring the purchase of an open return ticket for both cr-1 and K-1 might help though. And how many times do we hear they got here and split as soon as the green card arrived complaints?what's the big difference between a couple that meets for two weeks on vacation and files a K-1 as opposed to one that meets for two weeks and gets married to file a cr-1?
No matter what visa it is, people are going to rush in without truly knowing the person. And even when you think you really know them, threes lots to learn when you're no longer on vacation and living together.

This statement is ridiculous. How do you know they didn't Skype or chat, how do you know she never cared? Don't ever assume. No amount of chatting online prepares you for living together in real life. Better that they found out before they married.

You're a victim of a crime if the crime is directed at you. She was a passer by. If you see someone torturing someone else and suffer psychologically it still doesn't mean you're the crime's victim since it wasn't directed at you. Was there a hostage situation? No. Rape, torture, human trafficking directed at her? No.

URgreat in order to be eligible to get U visa she has to prove she was victim of a crime that occurred in the United States,and she was helpful to the police or law enforcement, and that she was hurt, either physically or mentally, because of the crime. The police didn't even contact her, then she does not qualify for U visa, just being a witness is not enough ok.

Jay, we corresponded a little earlier in the year about your problems. You've really been put through the wringer emotionally.
It is not abnormal to love your wife but not be in love with her (I know the feeling all too well) but as Teddy says the "in love" feeling probably isn't coming back. If you had caught the problem before the infidelity, before the disconnection, you probably would have had a great chance of making it work. If you want to proceed in the marriage, getting a good counselor is the only way to proceed. DIY isn't an option here -- you need to call in the professionals. I'm not saying it can't work, but it's going to be tough work, tough work that both of you are committed to doing. Speaking as someone who fought for her marriage for an entire year after an affair and separation, both parties need to be 100% bought into the idea of making the marriage work. My ex loved me and wanted in theory to be with me, but in reality he couldn't break away from the new relationship he had entered. I was doing all the work for both of us, while he sat in the therapy sessions being angry that a stranger was involved in our private affairs. Unsurprisingly, this didn't work.
I'll echo what Teddy said about trusting your gut here. There's no shame in divorce, especially if you've been together for quite a while and you've genuinely tried to make things work. There's also no dignity in soldiering on for years where there is no love and no prospect of healing. Only you know what is best for you. Courage, my friend.

Jay Jay,
Speaking from my own experiences, once that feeling is gone, it's not coming back. I spent the last 5 years of a 17 year relationship trying to get that feeling back and it never came. I ended up getting angry with myself for waiting so long to get out of the relationship, and I came to dislike her even more over that time, but I had to give it everything I had before calling it quits.
I give you credit for sticking it out this far, I don't think I would have, given her infidelity. Some people can deal with that, some can't. You've had a very tough start to your marriage, that's a lot of hurt to overcome.
I'm sure your gut is telling you something, that's where I always turn for the final answer when the questions get really tough. Things may seem dire now, but just remember, you will meet someone else down the line if you choose to leave.
Good Luck with whatever you decide.

1. You said almost exactly what I was planning to say. When the emotional reservoir is empty, there's no refilling it except by moving on. Good things end, too.
2. Think carefully: Are you willing to spend any more time being married to a really good friend? Can you live in a marriage like that? Is the marriage true, genuine, and 100% in each direction?
The title of this thread is "This really sucks." I personally wouldn't stay in a marriage that sucked a lot less than "really."

Give it a rest newbie... Read some and educate yourself on the process andtjis website before you post...

You are too funny. Accusing someone else of not understanding English when you post the wrong information.
You are wrong that after the conditional card expires that he has to show "the marriage is still alive."
"...for deportation, I do not know." is not even proper English, so you shouldn't be criticizing another person's English when the evidence shows it much better than yours.
Just stop before you make a bigger fool of yourself.
You joined this forum today and you are already having a bad attitude when your wrong information is corrected. Take a breath.

Deportation means removed from the country.... If you don't know.... STOP POSTING information of which you know nothing about... This is an immigration website, if you have no useful info regarding the visa process he is inquiring, then better to let that to others...

You said "you have to prove that the marriage is still alive" and that you can be deported and that you "dont know" that is FALSE advice and if you don't know, don't post that someone can be deported... This is a visa advice website and he came looking for information on his visa NOT for marriage advice...

This advice is TOTALLY WRONG! You do NOT have to adjust status and stay in the marriage to adjust... Once the divorce is final you can adjust status by showing that the marriage is in good faith. Yang-Ja had great info in how to do this... Youngman2013 stop putting info that is misleading, if you do not know the answer, leave it to others who do!

What motion?

FYI ICE is the one that deports, not a lawyer or investigator.

Really?

I read two different things...
a) you said she left to her mothers
b) you actually kicked her out to her mother's
Make up your mind....

I think you need to take a long hard look in the mirror, RE abuse.

My warning is DO NOT GET married to someone you saw once or twice. Most of people are seeing their partner just online, in my opinion this is not enough.Seeing someone once, twice for 2/8motnhs and bring the person to the U.S and after that blame the partner is silly to say the least. We are our choices we all have two questions how much time and effort we put into building a relationship...2/8months? that man.