verysadguy

Oh good gracious, loverboy is so whipped by my sociopathic ex. He posted on his twitter page generically how children are better off after mediation because the parents are working together. Seriously? I'm going to work with a woman who cannot be trusted and still lies incessantly to this day? A woman who when asked about her cabbie friend the convicted felon said "leave him alone." A woman who is a year behind on child support who never bought a single morsel of food, not a single diaper, not a single cup of milk in the child's life ever...I'm not mediating anything. I will follow the court orders to the letter until I have even a sliver of hope to drag her sorry lying #### back to court. May I remind everyone that this woman had me falsely investigated for human trafficking as a ploy to get her green card? And yet USCIS let's her stay in the USA enjoying the fruits of freedom. Disgusting government BS.

I have a happy and healthy well adjusted child. And I will protect her from any sociopathic behavior until my very last breath.

There is no abuse here at all.Let's stop with the VAWA song. USCIS said 1000 times when issuing RFE in Vawa cases that " drunkenness, cheating, failing to file AOS ,lying,misleading,being mean, they consider "MARITAL DIFFERENCES, UNPLEASANT SITUATIONS", (their words), BUT NOT ABUSE. I can't see any abuse going on here.

Hey, that sounds like my case without the drunkeness!!! LOL No abuse, just a really lousy cheating lying wife! She deserved a divorce and got one!

Ok Belinda63, I'm sure my daughter will figure it out on her own someday. I never talk bad about her or act negative around my daughter. Everyone who knows me says I'm the best dad/mom around.

Part 2:

As an overarching summary, my ex defrauded me. My ex is defrauding the US Government. My ex also was in breach of contract when she agreed in front of witnesses to return to Vietnam with a paid one way ticket, an agreement to a cash settlement for her and her family, and the gift of a $7000 diamond engagement ring that she procured with false love and promises and had returned to me already, and her wanting to return to her boyfriend in Vietnam. As you all recall she skipped out of the airport and filed VAWA based on emotional abuse. Again, no violence, no name calling, no human trafficking, no police. I divorced a sociopathic liar and made her leave the house without my daughter.

Fast forward to yesterday...in a conversation with my ex: "hey, so my daughter loves your jewelry, I have an idea. Why don't you give her the diamond as an act of good faith, and I'll make a nice necklace for her with it."

My ex's response (I'm not kidding you can't make this up, but a liar can), "I don't have it, I don't know where it is, maybe I lost it."

I asked, "Did you sell it, how much did you get for it?"

Her answer, "Maybe I lost it, I don't know where it is."

Well, desperate people do desperate things so I just left it at that. What a waste...

One year behind on child support. Her birthday present for her daughter? A canvas board with ribbons and hair clips from the dollar store. It's the thought that counts!!!

I couple posts to follow here. Great post lostsoul I get that! Rich and Wen typically visits are on neutral territory as you'll read momentarily. singledad, yes I get that about investing...no spoiling here.

Here is the visit summary, Darnell won't be pleased:

• The "ex" requested a few days prior if she could bring her cousin "x", who’s name I did not recognize came along with her for visitation. I reminded The "ex" that she had supervised visitation and I didn’t think it was a good idea to bring new and/or additional people as this was The "ex"’s time to spend time with her daughter and bond.

• I received an email stating this person knew my daughter (whom to date has seen no one from The "ex" family since the 3 months of age). I did not respond to this email.

• The "ex" arrived on Sunday afternoon with her cousin “x” and spent almost 3 hours with my daughter

• The visit was uneventful and "x" mainly kept her distance and assisted with the usual visit occurence of extensive photograph taking. My daughter did play well with The "ex", although a friend well known to me and the situation noted that other than playing The "ex" did not show much warmth or maternal behavior towards my daughter beyond a playmate or babysitter. My daughter on the other hand often ran to me despite my keeping a reasonable distance away.

• My daughter did not want to kiss The "ex" goodbye an The "ex" appeared saddened.

• A Monday morning meeting was arranged at McDonald’s. The "ex" arrived 30 minutes late and stated her cousin had other things to do. My daughter and The "ex" enjoyed the playground and again The "ex" mainly took dozens of photos. About 30 minutes into the play date, an unknown Asian female arrived with 2 children about ages 1 and 4 and socialized with The "ex" as obvious compatriots and they took many pictures together. The 4 year old female kept inappropriately approaching me, hitting me and pushing me. My friend who was there supervising witnessed this odd behavior.

• At 11am another announced visitor, The "ex"s aunt, arrived and we spoke cordially for a few minutes. My daughter was obviously tired and at this point had come to me to hold, She put her head down and rested after 1 and ½ hours of playing. When I said “Kiss The "ex" goodbye” again she did not want to kiss The "ex". So, we left bid our goodbyes and left.

95% of the time my ex was quiet and non-confrontational as was I. A couple of moments as per usual with my ex was generally responsive with terse and oppositional statements. Some might call her a "B." LOL. Overall, I'm happy there was no drama, but my ex clearly took advantage of the situation with additional unannounced visitors. You can be sure the next visit will be in a location far from her family and much more controlled.

My daughter already has a 529 college fund with $50,000 at age 3! Her investments are doing better than mine, i like the idea of child support in to a college fund...great guilt trip. One could be sure she is sending money back to her country.

I also created a trust fund/estate planning. In case something happens to me the mother can't get a dime from my daughter. The managers of the trust are my brothers.

if the visitation order does not include other people, either named or alluded to,

call the cops and CPS.

Darnell check the attachments

Some might consider me being unreasonable?

• My ex lied to me everyday of an 18 month courtship
• My ex lied to me everyday of a 6 month marriage
• My ex called several of her friends "sister" or "aunt" when in fact they were not
• My ex disappeared THREE times in to the Vietnamese/Asian community and could not be found for MONTHS. My ex has not told me where she currently resides.
• My ex claims this current "cousin" is also my child's aunt? Can you be a cousin and an aunt?
• My ex claims my child knows this cousin. My child has not seen any of those supposed "relatives" since 3 months of age.
• My ex showed up at visitation with a "man" completely unknown to my child. He looked like a gang member. Turned out it was the guy she seduced at her Catholic relief agency
• I have no idea of what her current legal status is
• My ex befriended a cab driver (who has a long list of guilty felony convictions) on her very first out of town visitation who became her personal chauffeur, and upon her second out of town visitation they hugged at the airport (again, I've never hugged a cabbie in my life). She took him back to her hotel room and they spent an hour together (yes I have photos), then he subsequently grabbed my child without permission. I filed an injunction against him, yet when she came back to town, she engaged him again as her personal chauffeur. He violated the injunction, and my ex lied to police about that violation.

And the list goes on and on. Really should I be bending over backwards for my ex to extend supervised visitation to a relative I don't know and can't be proven on short notice? Could my ex easily engage foreign language speaking assistance to abduct my child and disappear yet again? My ex has falsely accused me of domestic violence and human trafficking. I legitimately have concern that her next step will be to claim some form of child abuse. Why the F&^% should I budge one millimeter from the court ordered supervised visitation? To prove I'm a magnanimous guy? Her boyfriend pens most of her emails and text messages for her to apply pressure to me. Honestly, I would be happy to go back to court and provide further evidence of fraud and sociopathic behavior.

I'm not crazy. I'm angry. I'm angry my government hasn't protected me as a US Citizen. I'm angry a peasant from a foreign communist country can come here and live the life of leisure and freedom with no evidence, just a pack of lies and stories. I am not budging folks. No way. I have a lovely well adjusted happy smart SAFE child (sandranj can vouch for that). I will keep it that way.

After 6 months of ZERO contact from my ex to me or my daughter, She is exercising her visitation rights. Supervised of course. Now she wants to add family members to her visit. Distant cousins who I can't even prove are her real relatives. What are your thoughts on this VJ'ers? (even though she hasn't paid a dime of child support for a year, that has no bearing on her visitation rights).

What a nice memorial weekend we'll have!!!

this is the worst possible situation....ever.

2nd worst, trust me.

He may tie me for first if she files VAWA.

Clayr,

Can you update us?

My K-1 fiancé was preggo there. We got her here in time for US marriage and on my insurance. Consulate was supportive but overseas medical tried to say she couldn't fly. Modern flight allows late term pregnancy flying just not if in labor.

The rest of my K-1 saga is so crazy it should be a friggin' movie but the baby is an angel

I'm sorry, but this implies that her deceit should be forgiven because she comes from a poor country. This is wrong. This sort of thing certainly happens far too often in Vietnam, but it's the exception rather than the rule. Most women in Vietnam would not engage in fraud on this level in order to snare a visa to a first world country, just as most women wouldn't prostitute themselves regardless of how poor they were. Broadly speaking, they are decent and moral people, though there are bad apples, to be sure.

It's true that Vietnam is a poor country, but it's not the sort of miserable poverty you see on Child Fund commercials. Many houses may consist of little more than a concrete bunker with a tin roof, a wooden box for a family altar, and a woven bamboo mat for a bed. But it's rare to find people starving. Most people, even the most poor, wear relatively decent clean clothing. Nearly everyone has a cell phone. Most homes have at least one gas powered scooter. Families take responsibility for each other, and there is a strong sense of charity. Many people are poor, but most are relatively happy in spite of it. When someone is desperate to escape Vietnam it's usually because they have aspirations of achieving wealth, and not because they're strangling under the weight of poverty.

Can we judge her behavior in spite of the fact that we haven't experienced life in her country? Yes, absolutely. Her own people would judge her harshly.

JimVaPhuong and Darnell both historically and on this thread give excellent advice. I've been to Vietnam many times and Jim is correct in his assessment of the peasants. Proud, hard working, family oriented and surviving. It is not abject poverty and malnutrition.

Darnell is also correct about notifying FDNS etc.

Sadly, our current immigration political slant and policies don't deal well with fraud. I am a living example of such a case of an incredible conspiracy of fraud just to get to the USA for that aspiration of wealth at any cost. My ex could and should go back home, but she couldn't go back to her hometown. She would be judged very harshly as Jim says. However, she would simply lie and get lots of sympathy, too.

As for FDNS catching these folks, ICE detaining them, getting proper P6C determination for fraud likely not going to happen, but we have to do our part to identify the fraudsters to the authorities, I have little faith that many of the cases will actually be dealt with as they should. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it. If you come to the USA and you lied/cheated etc., then you really have no right to be here and the proper justice is you should be sent back to where you came from whether its a mansion or a shanty. Tens of thousands of hard working and honest people want to come to the USA. Why should the liars be given tickets to freedom and benefits?

I never said that her VAWA would be approved. I said basically that any Tom ####### or Harry can apply for VAWA and of course will be rejected. And she can apply again and again and again. That is in fact the truth about that. You can apply over and over and over and over again. Even if your case sucks. Fact

My silly pants are off now BTW.

DOES ANYONE HERE EVER QUESTION WHY THE NUMBERS FOR VAWA GO UP EVERY SINGLE YEAR? BECAUSE IT'S EASY AND PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD KNOW IT'S POSSIBLE TO GET A GREEN CARD THAT WAY.

When you give stuff away for free people will take it. If you come from a destitute impoverished country that's probably communist or very repressive in nature You too would try your best by any means to get to the land of milk and honey. Fact

Let's be liberal now folks. After all isn't our immigration system when it comes to love? The woman came here with a dream. The man is now rejecting her for mostly unknown reasons. This woman is now scared, depressed, traumatized, abandoned, likely can't sleep, is hypervigilant etc.

She now has PTSD. It is completely LEGAL for her to file VAWA for emotional abuse. Even if her evidence is thin and there isn't even a marriage. And she can keep filing and filing a VAWA.

Look folks, MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of people come to the USA and stay. Yes the OP said a bunch of times, they'd like a legal way out, this is simply a different angle on legal. (oh if only the sponsor would punch the poor woman just once with a witness then the path would be much easier).

Otherwise in an ideal US immigration system, which so sadly and pathetically does not exist (USCIS is one of the most worthless services of the US Government in my opinion squandering BILLIONS in taxes annually). The "ideal" immigration path for this unfortunate woman is to return to the Philippines lock, stock, and barrel. I don't envy her broken heart and broken dreams. It is a sad tale of love and promise lost. God only knows why. As for the sponsoring USC, he's probably off looking for his next young, beautiful, foreign girlfriend if he hasn't found one already.

As for the storyteller here, he's obviously a nice guy, happily married looking to do good for his wife's family member. I like this guy. A straight arrow. Good luck. Tough situation.

All I can say is wow....what a situation the OP is in.....what is worse is all the bad advise he has been given. OP - Listen to Postmaster and reread what he has written. You are in a legal mess that could end up costing you. Trust me, I have been there before. Before you do anything else you better start Googling lawyers in your area. I would suggest one works in both immigration and family law. Most will give you a half hour or an hour of fee consultation. Bring to them as much documentation as you can. This will cost you a little up front but will save you thousands down the road. While you haven't signed the I-864 yet, I am pretty sure you signed the I-134. While the I-134 doesn't have as much bite as the I-864 you could still be on the hook if she falls into the support of the government. The abuse thing is real so be careful. And abuse claims don't always have to be in the physical form. Fraud? Very tough to claim so tread lightly.

This forum and web site is a great place to get information but it is not always correct. I can't stress enough to seek the advice of a lawyer before you dig yourself deeper into the hole.

I filed an I-134 and no 864. I was on the hook for ZERO for my ex in terms of support. At issue here is a 2 year marriage and a child. That is going to cost this OP an arm and a leg. The lawyer will save the toenails and other body parts.

Here is the basis for annulment.

She told him she was having his baby and it died. She was lying. She was concealing she had another man's baby. If she had told the OP the truth, would he have married her? No. So she tricked him by lying to him. Her motivation? To get to the US by him getting her a K-1. Ergo, she committed fraud to get him to marry her so she can immigrate to the US.

How long they have been married and the child they have together are irrelevant because neither has anything to do with her tricking him into marriage.

The 4 years statue of limitation starts when he discovered the fraud. That is when she told him.

The SSN fraud is a separate issue and has nothing to do with getting an annulment based on fraud.

This is similar to my situation. She had a lover the entire courtship and engagement. Pregnancy had to be DNA tested. Of course I never would have married her or even been friendly with a sociopath like mine. Now I'm stuck with her, and after only 6 months married and in the USA, our wonderful USCIS is letting her stay here. ChaCHING. Nothing like cheating one's way to the USA for money. And every girl in Vietnam knows this.

As for HCMC being difficult, it is not. I've worked with them over the years and they are great. They answer emails promptly, only request RFE's if you don't follow the paper trail rules, and approve fairly quickly for the GIGANTIC volume of visa applications they have to process.

As for the poster who insulted Vietnam as dirty poor etc. that is just racist. It is a poor country, but there are many proud, hard working, and decent people who seek visas to the USA and many other countries. As I've said before do not trust relatives or your instincts. Hire a private investigator in Vietnam to do your background check for hidden children, marriages, and lovers. I wish I had.

This OP has a challenge financially it seems and is in for a long rough road, possibly worse than mine. Job #1 is to get her out of the house legally. Sadly, he will take an income hit right off the bat with that weird shared SSN and 1099 deal. It doesn't sound like he has strong credibly evidence, but he could conceivably write to the US Consulate in HCMC with her A number attached and start his fraud claim. INFOPASS for sure ASAP. Also, similar letters to HSI and FDNS. Either way, a 2 year marriage with a 19 month old is going to cost him dearly.

Married two years? And have a child? The USCIS may not care, but the state you live in probably will. I doubt she will be deported, and you will not be off the hook for child support, and/or spousal support, since she cannot legally earn an income. I suggest you reconcile your differences, and do what is best for your child.

Sorry Postmaster but I completely disagree with you. No reconciliation here. The woman is a sociopath bent on the man's destruction financially. What's best for this child is limiting the damage from parenting by a sociopath.

Lots of single women work and care for their children.

Why can't he?'

I've been a single dad for over 2 years now. It's easy but expensive. I have lots of respect for single moms now. My child is well adjusted and super happy, smart as heck, and cute as can be. Doesn't miss her mother one bit, doesn't even know her. We see her twice a year for 2 days and she doesn't pay her child support. But USCIS let's her stay here. Isn't America great?

How about he approach this situation as an adult and actually use the law?

I believe this poster will leverage the system to his advantage. But his wife probably will too.

It's based on her being ignorant, which I'm assuming she is since she hasn't insisted on a GC at this point years later. Leave the US child here with family. It's dependent on ignorance and his ability to sell that it's possibility of course. But I believe.

Ignorant? Hard to say, but I can practically assure everyone of one thing. When his wife is on the phone chattering in Vietnamese to God knows who in the USA or overseas it is almost assuredly one thing. Especially since the OP already said they don't get along...and that one thing is..."GET HIS MONEY!" And after a 2 year marriage this OP is going to be taken to the cleaners and his Viet wife knows it! GC or not.

Maquiavelic!!! But is assuming she is ignorant of the consequences of travel abroad... plus he have the advantage that probably a court would give him the custody of his US son because she is not making money and he never sign the I184

She would never get on a plane. No way. And he would run the risk of being charged with kidnapping. No joke. I am never ever alone with my ex. NEVER. These scammers all know what to do. In Vietnam almost every single girl knows why other girls go to the USA. For GC and money. And they know how to get it. Sexual favors. I had 3 ex friends of my ex-wife who are still in Vietnam and told me it was all a scam just to get to the USA. You think VAWA and FDNS and ICE really care? I don't. They are busy with big time criminals. They don't care about some 2 bit fraudsters.

However, he should turn in all hard evidence he can possibly find and turn it in. No reason in giving a liar and a cheat a free pass to a GC.

By the way, I did a DNA test right after my baby was born, too, especially when my then wife and new mother sent 1 day old newborn pictures of my daughter from the hospital to her lover in Vietnam.

_{Child in USA is mine and born here, the child in Vietnam is not mine. We don't get along at all so I want to divorce and take care of our child here by myself. But I don't want to put up with wife in US who lied to come here and sends all her money back home and sticks me with paying all the bills}

Wow, so I'm not alone! All advice you got is pretty good. Make infopass, collect evidence and turn it in, call ICE and report fraud with her A number, too. She is not on your mortgage? Have her move out of the house immediately. Notify your local police department in advance before she calls them and reports a false DV claim. Get a divorce/custody attorney.

You should also PM me. I got completely screwed except for one thing. I have full physical custody of my child plus supervision of all visits. Luckily she rarely visits. How old is your US child?

If you haven't already done the infopass etc. then you need to get your butt in gear mister AND FAST! I hate scammers and I got scammed royally...just for a green card and some money. You will get screwed too. Also, depends on your local jurisdiction and the politics of your local family court.

I'm not going to say good luck. You need to manufacture your exit mister. Get going.

Great news she's out of your hair. Maybe for good if she's having another child. She doesn't appear to be the type that will go to much effort to maintain contact with your daughter.

For now yes, way out of our business. She's having a blast partying with her boyfriend, and she hasn't shown one iota of caring for her child. Actions speak louder than words. Many web sites state abandonment of offspring is a strong sign of a sociopathic personality.

The next issues to arise in this case worthy of discussion for now are failure to pay child support based on a court order and consideration of termination of parental rights.

In the meantime I focus on parenting and role modeling until I find a woman worthy of loving and providing as a maternal replacement for my little angel.