verysadguy
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Posts posted by verysadguy
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I have a lady Mary Grace who I got married from the Philippines who I sponsored on a K-1 Visa, but then took off on me right after I filed for an AOS and placed a false domestic violence claim against me from the local PD in Kansas City. There was no injuries on her, and I am in the process of getting the case dismissed w/diversion. I got wind she did this to get a U-Visa to basically "take-off" and stay in the USA. She made all these crazy allegations that were untrue, and I think she deliberately staged the whole thing.
We had a yelling match but that was all mostly because I was tired of being asked about the paperwork 24/7 and asked to send money back to the Philippines. Then the cops show up, and Im thrown to the ground, and beaten up, taken outside and arrested, with 4 assault rifles at my head, being told "if you move your head will splat on that pavement" They had broken into the apartment, simply because I didn't hear them outside.. I had no idea what was going on until I was literally on the floor after hearing my front door go down. At that time we had long finished our argument.
Seriously with no injures on her, or me, and nothing broken or physical happening.... I have no criminal record...
I am out thousands of dollars, and going through hell dealing with this, and now she was all "I still love you" for a couple of weeks after I got out of Jail. We both got evicted, so she stayed with her cousin in Kansas City, and I stayed in a hotel for a bit to figure out living arrangements etc... until I discovered she contacted an immigration attorney (seen it on my phone bill) a couple of days after a few thousand texts were being sent to a guy by the name of "mike" She suddenly cut me off and disappeared. I am assuming she got info about the U-Visa. I then went back to Arizona (w/family)
The entire time, I had that "gut" feeling she was only using me to get into the USA and the marriage was fake.. Because I caught her messaging several other guys while in the phillipines asking then for visas from UK and the USA. How stupid I was...
She has shacked up with a new BF already, and I am getting ready to file for divorce.. But I am afraid because of the affidavit of support. Its all confusing, and stressful. I don't want any ties with her at all any more.
I am so frustrated and after the police thing, have a case for police brutality, but honestly I have been victimized by her fraud, police brutality, and falsified charges (getting dismissed).. I never thought this could never happen in America..
Now I am in the process of immigrating overseas myself after this senario, because I don't trust the government anymore. I was told she could tap into my bank accounts using this U-visa etc by an attorney and will likely try to.
Help!!!
Join the club pal, join the club. Good luck. PM me if you need specific advice.
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Gee, wonder if he'll file VAWA. We'll never know.
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I watched the 2/16 show last night. A bit more drama than usual, showing a bit less contrived than previous weeks, but still mostly a pathetic show. It will be interesting to see how last night's show I TiVo'd comes out. Better yet, a 60 minute documentary at 180 days to see where these folks are at. Still a very contrived show, not reality at all. I constantly wonder what they got paid.
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This last series of replies is an interesting shift.
I was one of the petititioners royally screwed by a beneficiary.
I see a lot of support for "justice"
A lot of support for submitting "evidence"
A shift away from supporting scamming spouses to not endorsing the actions of "illegals"
Some belief that immigration court and USCIS divisions will actually do the right thing
I still have little faith in USCIS being able to do diddly squat against romance scammers, especially not with VAWA supporting every little thing a beneficiary alleges to the disdain of the US Citizen sponsors. I've said before real abuse is horrific and both women and men should have respite from it, but the endpoint should NOT be a GC. It should be protection and a safe return to the country of origin in the vast majority of cases. In the meantime the USA is blowing MILLIONS supporting this. A soft spot in policy that needs to go away, yet we claim to be tough on terrorism and non-democratic governments. Bizarre.
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ManCharsey and milimelo, I tried Infopass, I tried making appointments with special agents, I called ICE, I wrote to ICE, I wrote to district directors, I wrote to congressmen, I made dozens of phone calls. It is an extremely difficult task to get someone to remotely care about individual cases of fraud. They are busy with murders, drug dealers, thieves, rapists, gang members, blah blah blah. Romance scammers for green cards are so far down the list of their worries you can hear your own voice echoing in the empty hallways of justice. I got in return form letters, no letters, or discussions that I had to go to a different section of government for service. I did actually get a little traction from my congressmen and a unproven promise from a special agent that at least my evidence would be forwarded to the proper adjudicator. I was also told to stop writing letters and to stop seeking justice because it looked like retribution. I've never been contacted by a FDNS agent.
The system has to change, but it's government so it won't until something huge happens or some lawmaker gets a bone up his/her ###.
My ex went the VAWA route with a list of fabricated BS a mile long, false affidavits, claims of emotional abuse, and accused me of human trafficking plus enlisted a gaggle of nuns, attorneys, and mediators to fight for her "right" to stay in the USA.
So, for this OP, turn in the evidence, pray for justice, and expect and prepare for deafening silence and no protection. My advice because it worked for me...retain a strong and mean attorney and protect yourself NOW.
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Yes she did....and I tried to find out what her claim was and they wouldn't even respond to me.
I did find out later that VAWA claims are sealed and I will never have any idea what her claim
entailed.
If you could get her to sign a FOIA you could see her records or if she was nice and shared them. Both of which will never happen.
My ex ran off with a family law mediator from the Catholic Church while she was still legally married to help her screw me over as much as possible.
And yes these marriage scammers study extensively how to pull these immigration tricks over on the US Petitioner.
I never got a single letter back from USCIS if my withdrawal of support was accepted or not. I called directors, senators, special agents...NOTHING. USCIS is pathetic at dealing with these scams effectively screwing the US Citizen petitioner to the benefit and "rights" of the beneficiary. Shame on the liberals for this bullcrap. I'll never vote democrat again. NFW.
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alternatively, it might have been a bona fide marriage, but not a good faith marriage...
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My point is what sort of things might be faked and how to potentially increase the probability of your RFE approval with strong evidence. Possibly providing both sides of the story and clear evidence of good faith and bona fide marriage, not just hearsay.
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I got affidavits from people who knew us (2 of them) one was her sister and the other a person who worked for a non profit company we both worked at for awhile. All they stated was that they had seen us as couple interacting as a happily married couple and that the relationship was true. You should think who can give you a letter. (not your ex) My ex was prepared to come in and tell them it was a true Marriage. but that can also look suspicious.
If you have any photos of you together during your marriage take those along, I pulled her son's wedding photo's, Parties etc. anything with the two of you. Maybe you bought gifts for each other and they on credit card statements etc. The long list of items is just to try give you more insight as to what they looking for, you don't need to have all that stuff.
My ex could have had many people write affidavits that we were great together. Because we were. Only problem was she was ACTING. So, of course all the photos looked wonderful. My favorite photos remain the pictures of her in bed pregnant with her lover and the one of her naked in my bed on the 4th day of marriage and 8 months pregnant that she sent to him.
My marriage was not in good faith on her part, and other than a beautiful baby daughter and a health insurance card there was nothing else bona fide about it. But she is still here enjoying the benefits of living in the USA.
I guess this is why those RFE's need to be as extensive as possible. It is simply too easy to fake it. On the VAWA side of things not allowing any evidence from the "alleged" abuser makes it even simpler.
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this good faith marriage and bona fide marriage still remains a mystery to me...
Is it a good faith marriage if one is genuinely in love but the partner is a scammer? We read that here over and over again.
Is it a bona fide marriage if one of the partners took the marriage vows fraudulently for immigration purpose?
So, what if the affidavits say glowing things about the partner in question, anyone can write those...
I remain mystified.
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Agree there is no "send back" but coming to the USA is a privilege. Honest people try very hard for years and spend thousands to get here legally for that privilege. And they file papers and follow the administrative process. For those trying to scam US Citizens, lie, cheat, commit fraud, and "play the system" yes they should be sent back. Not as a commodity, but as a statement that the Unites States of America will not tolerate fraud and we don't want jerks for LPR's and future citizens.
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Dude, I can sympathize with you. I feel your pain. My wife was someone I met four year ago while she was living here, then she had to go back to China because she got sick and her student visa expired. We stayed in contact and carried on a long distance relationship. I even visited her over there numerous times.over the years. We went through all the heavy paperwork and stuff to get her a fiance K-1 visa, and after a year of waiting, it came through and she finally came over last May. We got married almost immediately. We were happy as hell.
For me, it started last June. My mother's personality just rubbed my wife the wrong way, and while I was in Amsterdam on business, my wife had a complete meltdown. She posted terrible things about my mother and my sister on Facebook, she texted me and called me names. It was brutal. When I got back, she cut herself completely off from my family and went to a therapist. I should mention that she is on several mood stabilizing medications. She's not diagnosed bi-polar, but her rages were scary.
I should point out that I always had a cordial relationship with my family. I love my parents, but I don't see them often. My wife didn't like that my mother would call me on occasion. Since she hated my sister, she forbade me from buying gifts for my niece and nephew. I basicallly cut off all contact from my sister to appease my wife, but it sure as hell wasn't making me happy. I'm convinced that she needs to talk to her therapist more, but she had another meltdown a couple of weeks ago and tortured me all week with phone calls at all hours calling me names, and nasty text messages. She had me so crazy I was screaming at her on the phone at 2am in a hotel in Houston.
There's more to this, but suffice to say, she doesn't drive yet, has no real mobility other than a bicycle. Things came to a head these past couple of days, and now, after reading that she can get her conditions potentially removed from her green card, she informed me that I could either completely cut myself off from my family, or we could divorce. I told her we could work this out in couples therapy, but I was tired and fed up with cutting myself off from my family. So she told me she wanted a divorce.
Having been married before, and that ended in divorce, this is a double whammy to my self-esteem. I'm a bit out of sorts and upset and doing everything I can not to completely lose it at her. I think she is mentally ill, and she did a fantastic job hiding the extent of it for the last four years.
So like I said, I can sympathize with your pain. I'm currently in terrible pain myself.
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Meatlips, Your wife is either bipolar, borderline, or histrionic. They can all be extremely charming and then just flip out on you. Self esteem? No man or woman should ever let another person damage trusted relationships with friends and loved ones. Get yourself together man. You need solo therapy, not couples counseling. Divorce and find someone less f'ed up.
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Agree, this is just a bad marriage unless he can prove fraud, but nothing here supports that. Time for a divorce that will likely be ugly and costly. Get an attorney. If you own the home, ask her to leave. If she owns the home, then you leave. If you are renting break the lease, take your things, and find your own place.
She already has a green card. Lick your wounds and move on. Your lucky, she could call you abusive, have you investigated for human trafficking, and file VAWA etc, however, she already has the GC. Now it is just going to cost you an a$$ load of money.
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This poster obviously has deep emotional issues to deal with professionally. How sad that she cannot think straight.
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We better go out and adopt a cat!! That's the ONE thing I forgot. Thanks for reminding me. Hey how about a dog instead?
Mahalo
Folks, in reality, I am mystified by the range of definitions and almost complete difference of opinions surrounding "proof of bona fide marriage."
And who really takes 1000 pictures? That is just dumb. How about a handful of really meaningful pictures that show you two together in different settings but close and endearing to one another of several months span?
Is there a USCIS technical specs sheet that really defines bona fide? And why should the parameters change for the different offices and forms submitted? In my mind bona fide is bona fide, and fraud is fraud.
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With the proof more is better. These INS officers need to make them selves feel comfortable with granting the petition so the more paperwork they have look at the better!
When I had my first interview at the consulate for the I-130 I submitted 1,000 pictures, 10 months of joint bank statements, letters, copies of my families passports when they came to the country and visited me, joint rental agreements and any thing else I thought of.
Once my wife got to the USA and the 2 years went by I had to submit the proof for her removal of barriers at that time we had a lot more documents to give and I sent them a nice big package. We had several hundred photos, mortgage receipts, adoption contract when we adopted our cat. Anything that showed we were both together and 2 years of bank statements here in the USA. A few months later they approved the petition and issued her the 10 year green card..
So honestly.. You cant ever have too many documents.
Our consulate interview may have took 8 hours but they only asked us 2 questions after they took the time to review the paperwork.
I'm sure it was the cat adoption papers that sealed it. Love for pets is a strong indicator for future US citizenry.
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Why would you even mention the Violence Against Woman Act in that context?
My point being why would there be any difference to USCIS how to prove bona fide marriage?
In Latin "bona fide" means good faith.
Why would AOS, ROC, or VAWA be any different in terms of good faith marriage? When logically they should be the same parameters, but my guess is they are not, and there may be many factors weighing in the adjudicator's decision when it shouldn't.
Is it 3 pieces of evidence? 4? Is two from column A and one from column B?
Even a well planned sham marriage could have comingled finances, shared bills, children, and legal papers like marriage certificates, loans, and contracts. Some could be carried out for years, too. Never underestimate the machinations of con artists. In this poster's case there was apparently some other red flag for requesting more evidence. It is worrisome for true lovers who must search and produce more evidence, and it is probably just a small obstacle for scammers.
All require this proof.
Perhaps only sandranj, a real life attorney with immigration experience, can tell us the difference.
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i think this human is confused,
confusing guidelines in the adjudicator's manual,
AOS from a K1
vs
ROC.
How would proof of a bonafide marriage differ between AOS, ROC, and VAWA?
What is a bona fide and legitimate marriage under immigration law?Marriages must be legal at the place and time of inception and cannot be contrary to public policy. To be considered a valid marriage, the marriage must be both bona fide and legitimate.
Bone fide marriages must meet the following elements:
- The marriage was not entered into for the purpose of evading immigration laws
- At the time of the marriage, the bride and groom intended to establish a life together – factors used to prove intent can include but are not limited to: joint tenancies, jointly owned property, or conduct that shows the individuals are acting as husband and wife
Legitimate marriages must meet the following elements:
- Marriage must be valid at its inception under the laws governing the location where the marriage took place
- In states where common law marriage is recognized, the marriage is also recognized as valid for immigration purposes
Does USCIS recognize proxy marriages?
A proxy marriage is a wedding in which the bride or groom (or both) is not physically present. With today’s technology, proxy marriages, such as “skype marriages,” are increasingly common. While the USCSIS recognizes proxy marriages, they are very suspicious of them. Under immigration law §101(a)(35) of the Immigration and Nationally Act (INA), if the parties of the marriage were not in each other’s presence at a marriage ceremony, there must be proof of consummation for such a marriage to be recognized under immigration law.
What happens if USCIS is suspicious of my marriage?
If an USCIS officer suspects fraud then the officer will request a field investigation. The investigation may consist of:
- Home visits or visit to neighbors to investigate whether the suspected couple reside together, share a household, own property jointly, etc.
- Interviews with the couple at their residence or at USCIS offices to ask private questions regarding all aspects of their marital relationship
There are harsh consequences if the USCIS determines that your marriage is fraudulent, including permanent banishment for the U.S.
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pay him no mind, she can lie about Vawa and get approved , but what happens after.. did she get green card?
In my case, my ex has the right to confidentiality. Last I know legally, if it was even true, she had an appeal granted in March 2013. Obviously, her first round was denied. Remember, these people can refile their VAWA cases mulitiple times and keep getting "deferred action status" the ultimate "get out of jail free" card in all of US Justice.
So, I don't know if she has a green card or not. She is lying on her taxes though and a couple of other shady dealings.
Back to this poster though, all she has to do is call the cops. Say he yelled at her and file the police report and move to a shelter. She's almost guaranteed a green card after that. I had a USCIS special agent tell me that in New York state, yelling at your spouse is considered "extreme cruelty." I kid you not....
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If they lock her in, then that is domestic violence. But her post states that she goes to her church, library , or friend. This simply means she has the freedom to go anywhere. We do not know how their relationship had progressed, believe it or not sometimes cases of domestic violence are self inflected. ( I am not saying the OP is - but just sayin') Meaning, those who claimed to be victims were the ones who fumed the dragon out of its hiding. that being said, one still have to get proper grounds & evidences to prove such accusation.
Also, we do not know the reason why the husband changed his mind. We hear just a portion of the story. But one thing is for sure, there's a reason. in my own understanding, the OP is emotionally & mentally devastated...but if it is really ABUSE / a ground for Domestic Violence. it is too early to tell.
My ex claimed she was controlled and trapped, even though she had babysitters, nannies, thousands of dollars, and people driving her around. My point is she can say whatever she wants to VAWA. And she can say whatever she wants to her relief agency and her psychologist. Her affidavit writers can also write whatever they want. That is the absolute truth of VAWA. I've lived it folks.
I never hit her, called her names, or abused her. She even made wild love to me up until our last night together. When I served divorce papers and told her to leave, she went straight to VAWA to get her green card.
This woman can do the same. Burden of proof my butt. All you need are some good supporters to promote and perseverate your lies. Happens every day.
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She can read up on many vawa cases if she wants she does not have a vawa case at a llll, she will so waste her time and of course be deported in the process
I hope you are right, but singledadusc says every single VAWA case this year will be approved. LOL
My ex completely lied about every aspect of her vawa...and she is still here in the USA (not in removal proceedings) raping the system for cash...lucky her.
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My Fiance has his interview in April, about 10 weeks away. He was going to have his medical at St. Lukes in Manila the first week of February. He just did a few of the tests at a local clinic for some reassurance and tested positive for Syphilis. My questions are:
1. The disease is easily curable and treatment is simple antibiotics, but the antibodies which they test for last forever. If he proves treatment has been given, will he be OK?
2. Should he still have his physical in less than a couple weeks so we have more time to deal with issues that come up before the interview, or should he put the physical off for a few weeks and give a longer time after the treatment?
As most of you can attest, this has been a long emotional and draining journey. We just need some real answers that will help us be together as soon as possible. Thank you all so much.
This should be a huge CAUTION sign.
Any person diagnosed with an STD has a 30% chance of carrying a second STD.
Obviously, source, time of acquiring the illness etc comes in to play.
Then there is the treatment regimen, completing treatment, efficacy of treatment, contagion, and aftermath/lifetime implications.
Not to mention the stress and emotional trauma you've already gone through.
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I wonder if the age gap is the reason they don't put it on TV?
Age is just a number, it doesn't mean dirty old man or cougar. Lying and fraud is a psychological disorder. Yes age difference can be a challenge in some relationships, but remember in many cultures especially asian and some Latin countries an older spouse is looked at as stable, wise, and desirable.
There are MANY happy posters on VJ that are 30+ years apart with stable trusting relationships.
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I did, actually.
Aside from some buyer's remorse on her part, there's nothing there that constitutes abuse, especially by the husband. It sounds like he works in the food industry and the poor fool doesn't have the money to file for the adjustment, which is what my guess would be more than any malicious intent. As an educated woman, she made a real ###### choice in who she picked to marry. But that still doesn't make it abuse. I'm a huge advocate for personal responsibility. She knew, I would assume, that she'd be leaving her Master's degree life to live in a basement of his parent's house, then seems surprised when it's not the whirlwind of romance that I'm sure a reasonable person would expect it to be.
The VAWA belt needs a real tightening about what's considered abuse. Funny that it itself should be abused so often.
VAWA belt for immigration portion should be tightened majorly. Not abused? Low fraud? Some say that. Gee whiz, I wonder why the VAWA filings go up every single year? Because foreigner's know it is an easy way to US BENEFITS. Hey, come to America FREE MONEY.
How about those scams from Nigeria, "I represent the honorable Barrister Monroe, and we have $26 million dollars to wire to you." Or better yet, "My cousin Teresita, who is young and beautiful loves you so much and would like to come to America and be your faithful honest and loving wife....if you could just get her a green card please."
K1 Visa, married, but now separated. (False Domestic Violence)
in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits
Posted
Should it be any coincidence caryh that annual VAWA filings are now over 10,000? Does anyone here really think that there is that high an incidence of violence in immigrant marriages? It would be interesting to see what the nationality stats are for VAWA, but I don't think we'll ever see those numbers.
It is no mystery around the globe that an I-360 is a "get out of removal proceedings free" card. This poor guy is on the hook for a lot of money both from his marriage and his criminal defense. I'm lucky in comparison. It only cost me $100K with no criminal defense, no alimony, no child support, and no I-864 money going to my ex con-artist wife.
Our taxpayer dollars should be spent on proven incidents and austere programs of domestic violence. Not on this immigration loophole with a high fraud rate. Just my opinion but we see more and more and more cases of this on VJ and now that 90 day fiance' is on the air. Regardless of age span, national origin, religion etc. we should not be chasting vicitms and OP's for their choices, but our government should be doing a better job of WARNING K-1 applicants and a far better job of detecting and enforcing penalties against fraudsters. Then the number of false claims would fall dramatically.
I have bad news for the OP here though, yelling and screaming at your spouse in most states is considered "extreme cruelty" believe it or not in VAWA's eyes and his beneficiary will most certainly suffer PTSD and depression as a result. Hello free ride to being an LPR!!! Congratulations another successful scam.