verysadguy

Vawa was created to help aliens fleeing domestic violence and or extreme cruelty, not to people adjust status because left everything behind in their home Country.

Your friend has to prove she suffered extreme cruelty to the point she is now suffering major depression and or pos traumatic disorder. She needs to have a psychological evaluation to prove that. Extreme cruelty is a repetitive pattern of humiliation, degradation,threats, control,offensive language etc...

I saw many cases some women described "my husband was abusing me, he demanded I clean the house, cook, take care of his kids,well this is not abuse, it means the alien got married to a mean person.The abuse suffered must change the alien's behavior, such as the person was upbeat, outgoing,caring etc, now the person lives in fear, walking in egg shells,became hyper vigilant, the alien is having problem to sleep, eat to function properly.

This is a fantastic review of what extreme cruelty really is. I'm still concerned that a well coached "victim" can fool a psychologist pretty easily on these evaluations. I've had many patients who were bipolar or had personality disorders and they can be pretty convincing contrivers. Do you see "con" here?

I would have thought you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to type my username after the hissy fit you threw previously.

Not every foreigner is a leech like the person you petitioned for. There's a reason why VAWA is created.

Good point!

Being trapped in the basement could be construed as human-trafficking and control by the US husband for failure to complete the paperwork. Why wouldn't this be mental and emotional abuse? Or extreme cruelty. Remember it doesn't take much for VAWA.

Sounds like you knew about the ban in advance. What were you expecting to happen? Did your attorney suggest he would get a Visa?

I agree, he might be a great guy, but what were you thinking? What did he tell about the 2 times he was removed and why? Do you really know this guy's background?

I believe my wife has borderline and she is very, very good at gaslighting.

Not to rock the boat but another idea is that any USC that brings a foreign spouse here and the spouse turns out to be a greencard scammer then the scammer goes home and the USC goes to jail. After all the USC brought the scammer here. That might be very harsh but it would probably change many things.

USC go to jail? Sorry, but you're an idiot. Victims of scams don't go to jail unless they commit a CRIME.

At the advice of sandranj I recorded on TiVo and watched this show. The main thing that struck me the most was how short these relationships seemed to be with little pre-verification of beneficiary's background.They met online or a trip then chatted for a year online. One guy said we only spent 2 weeks together.

I knew my ex's family for 20 years, and I knew her for 8 years. And I still got scammed!

I don't think K-1's need to go away, but I do think the disclosure by the US Gov't about scam risk and verifying paperwork needs to change.

You want some good reality TV? Get some USC's like myself who got scammed. I guarantee you the VAWA petitioner's for the most part wouldn't go on TV. I wanna go on TV!!! I want to testify in congress man! Where is 60 minutes when you need some good investigavtive reporting?

So far this show is a joke. I do agree on the toughness of the friends and family is some part because most people are skeptical of these relationships. I had people asking me "so, you got a mail order bride?" My response was, "I'm a decent looking, well to do professional. Do you really think I need a mail order bride?" I married someone I thought I knew. If a professional health care provider with 20 years of experience can get scammed...what is going to happen with the average Joe or Jane?

At the advice of sandranj I recorded on TiVo and watched this show. The main thing that struck me the most was how short these relationships seemed to be with little pre-verification of beneficiary's background.

I knew my ex's family for 20 years, and I knew her for 8 years. And I still got scammed!

I don't think K-1's need to go away, but I do think the disclosure by the US Gov't about scam risk and verifying paperwork needs to change.

When you respond, post up if you watched the show and what you thought. Thanks!

"A real decent person under no circumstances should be

getting engaged while still married and just used USC spouse to

obtain citizenship....Y R U confused its obvious this was premeditated"

Wow, you can say the same thing about my ex. Totally in love with someone else while scamming me. Engaged and pregnant and cheating. Married and pregnant and doing pornography.

There are a lot of scumbags around, wolves in sheep's clothing.

Premeditated? I think so.

Cheers to the other Pakistani's calling this guy a scumbag!!! Where is the honor man?

I been confused a little .. i went to my country on october 2013 i met this girl and i got engaged with her while i was married with this USC wife in America and then when i came back from my country on end of october and then i got my citizenship on january 2014 . and now i will apply for divorce ...im planing that after i get my divorce paper can i apply for I 130 for K 1 visa for the girl i met in back home or you advise me go again to back home after i divorce my USC wife and get engaged one more time and then come back and apply...

The K-1 process requires a copy of a your divorce decree, and that my friend is going to take you a long time. I'm kind of wondering what your USC wife is going to say when you serve her divorce papers. I smell poo yet again.

This year, all properly submitted I-360 get approved. So are 1-year EADs (you receive card in 1 month). Deferred action lasts a year-and-half, you're PRUCOL during that time. But then, if you don't succeed at I-485 interview, you're out of status again.

All I-360 approved is a false statement. I-360 denials are running about 30%.

Wow, so some VAWA approvals still get I-485 denied. So what did she do?

I read you loud and clean ir0n, I was in much the same boat. One difference is I never laid a hand on her and never dropped any F bombs, but I'm sure she probably said I did. She told everyone she was scared of me. Outside of the lies I've discussed many times, I agree with you ir0n. The justice system for VAWA petitions is disgustingly one sided. They claim is is helping victims of abuse but the logic is flawed. For large numbers of USC men and women the numbers are clear for VAWA. But for the 10 or 12 thousand or so VAWA petitions through USCIS, I continue to contend that fraud is through the roof simply because the claimants get a "get out of jail free card" on their visa, on their fees, on their work permits, and have a cake walk for evidence. Yes, I know there is a lot of paperwork and a long waiting time, but it is still bereft of real evidentiary rules. The psyc evals are a joke in my opinion, and not looking at hard evidence often available via the petitioner is simply making the USC's the real victims. I'm out $100k on my situation.

You want women to be safe from DV when it comes to claims through USCIS? Just send them home, it will be faster and cheaper. And geez would the scams drop quickly!!! Could you imagine if the high fraud countries caught wind of the USA tossing the rotten fish back? "Hey, they're sending Cousin Fraudster home! I'd better stop webcamming with the 50 guys I'm gunning for now!"

Hey, I think DV is as disgusting as the next guy, I dealt with it professionally for 22 years. But I hated the lying conniving personality disorders that often were behind the false claims. That is just as criminal and damaging as the abusers! I saw bipolars, borderlines, passive-aggressives, histrionics you name it. Schizophrenics, too. The scary thing is I'M A HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL with extensive training and my wife even fooled me!!! There are some freakin' pros out there scamming US citizens who aren't even fractionally educated or trained as I am. Scary $hit man...the good old USofA giving away stuff for free...I am voting republican for the rest of my life even if the candidates suck swamp mud.

I'm a US citizen and I've been screwed! Justice my butt. My VAWA case went from a perversion of justice to a miscarriage of justice to an absolute abortion of justice. Such a joke. USCIS at almost every level has just pathetically wilted. And the bizarre thing is I sponsor H1-B and out of country scientists to come here and work! And the level of scrutiny is microscopic, and these are MBA's and engineers and doctors and rocket scientists. Give me a break USCIS? You go through good hard working educated contributors with a fine tooth comb, but the harlots and liars just fill out a few forms, get a psyc evaluation, wait a few extra months but in the meantime get food stamps and work permits. Please. Something just isn't right with VAWA.

Was just wondering the same thing. If i ever had any respect for this VJ member, it's evaporated now.

And side note: if any person can't feel homesickness as deeply as another it doesn't mean noone can. Not everyone has an emotional range of a teaspoon.

I agree, I have not much respect for Gowon, too. My reference was a joke reference to another poster, but Gowon writes as if his words are gospel. Come off that high horse brother.

Love is trust, respect, devotion, faithfulness, communication, romance etc. regardless of age, race, ethnicity, or national origin.

Homesickness typically in children and young adolescents is a form of separation anxiety. These distress signs in an adult are usually signs of a different anxiety neurosis, especially if the person has had YEARS to prepare. Emotional range of a teaspoon? Really? How about the emotional range of a histrionic personality disorder?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homesickness

Great link to the book on love above by the way.

I am sorry but I will die without understand this bs about" homesick" .Love does not happen by chance, the alien decided to start the relationship,the alien decided to get married to a foreign person, the alien knew he/she had to live in the US, then it was a conscious choice to date and to get married to a US Citizen.I believe someone madly in love and insanely happy with the spouse would live in Congo, Afghanistan, Rwanda if it's necessary.

It's normal to miss the family, food, friends, but being sad, depressed, crying, saying I want to go home is too childish for me.

Very well stated. I miss my momma's cooking but for 38 years I haven't cried over it. I miss her doing my laundry, too, but I've been doing my own since I was 15. And if they are crying because you don't buy them Louis Vutton or pay for his 60" plasma, probably you got married for the wrong reasons. LOL

Nookie is a great reason to get married, that's how kids come along sometimes. Sometimes love is a good reason to get married. Money usually isn't. Married for a visa is usually a secret and deceptive reason to get married. Rescuing is a perfectly valid Prince Valiant/Florence Nightingale reason to get married. Getting married and then saying you wished you hadn't a couple days later, usually something wrong.

I suppose this OP could try some ethnic food or a ticket home if he's over it, too. If they are in love and wanna make it work counseling is an option. Please fasten your seatbelts passengers, turbulence ahead.

Never lie or be wrong on an application.

Do the work via web conferencing, it is easy.

If you don't know the answer, do not guess.

Save the application and find the answer, then go back and fix.

If you finish the application and do the attestation and electronic signature you may be liable for fraud.

WARNING Will Robison...I smell a reading comprehension problem!

Where did I say that my wife is now reading this thread?

~ Tahoma

Tahoma, Read Tuck4X4's post...

Gowon, you really don't like USC's huh? We USC's as stated just want young, easy, cheap nookie. We don't care about true love or rescuing you from poverty and a difficult life.

How strange to be in a relationship for 4 years, get married, and one day later say you wanna go home. I'd love to hear a happy ending from tuck4x4 and hopefully he gives us a recurring 30 day update on a challenging situation. His dreams look a little shattered.

Someone wrote in the VAWA thread

"According to immigration laws, the US citizen spouse is not obliged to sponsor anyone for a green card"

SingleDadUSC's logic on the marriage you acquired on your promise of sponsorship is so twisted.

singledaddy-o-usc is hanging his hat on the engagement and marital vows, and thus the petitioner must grant the beneficiary the promise of a green card or whatever. He is completely throwing out the fraud portion of the relationship.

If I marry someone, and I DID, all those vows are not held valid if the other party entered in to that relationship on false pretenses which my ex and foifoi's ex did. So please forget all the BS about you promised and you brought someone from a foreign land and it didn't work out etc.

THESE ARE FRAUDS. Con artists. We do not owe them jack. Report, divorce, and take them to justice on Earth and with God. Singledad, Please stay on the VAWA thread with your own story of being the male recipient of abuse and good luck to you. The USC's on this thread who are the true victims of criminal actions will continue to fight for what is right which is deny green cards to those trying to get benefits fraudulently.

I am old fashioned and I still believe people should date 2/3 years MINIMUM, and then get married, see each other as much they can. I would say 90% of the abuse, scam posted here in the VJ the couples saw each other 2/3 times, or they had a 4/7months relationship and got married, and others the wife/husband came to the US after 1 year abroad waiting for the CR1 visa. I think the chance to be scammed /abused by someone you had a long relationship and saw each other often is very small.Considering my experience handling immigration cases all people scammed/abused they saw each other maximum 4/5 times before getting married or had a short relationship before getting married. It takes time to know each other.

I agree with sandranj, but just for the record I knew my ex-wife for 8 years, I went to see her several times, and knew all her family. Her sociopathic behavior was so skillful and her lies so extensive no one knew about her secret relationship. She told everyone that guy was long gone because she didn't want to be judged. She was even lying to her lover. And she has subsequently lied extensively to the authorities.

To caryh's post, my ex is proof the system lets people get away with some really disgusting lies. All thanks to VAWA. She is living the life of Reilly, working, making money, falsifying her tax returns, and screwing her supporter. Isn't America great? Again abuse is disgusting, but the burden of proof and the rules of evidence need to apply to the USCIS portion of VAWA. It is a gaping hole in the US Justice system that is being leveraged to every possible advantage by foreigners trying to find the eTicket to the USA and its benefits.

I am a Filipina and my advice is, let her go home if that is what she wants to do. You just don't marry somebody, then turn your back the next day, unless, there is something about you that you're not telling us that will make her want to go home immediately. Don't blame homesickness. Nowadays, it is much easier to deal with homesickness with the advancement in technology, unless, she does not have access to it.

Do NOT pay for her ticket to go back home. If she is determined to go back to PH, AND, she is really determined to get away from you, then, she will find a way to buy her own ticket, like finding a job!

Does she know how much it cost for a ticket to fly back to Pinas? Money does not grow on trees, it is not like flying from manila-cebu-manila. There are many filipinos/filipinas who live abroad. And if they get homesick, they deal with it the best way they can, they work and save money so they can visit/go home to Pinas soon. They just don't ask their friend/ husband/wife/boss to pay for their ticket so they can go home immediately. Uh-oh...never heard of that.

If she sulks, then let her sulk, she'll get over it. Marriage comes with responsibility. When she moves here, she knows she'll be adjusting to a lot of things, and she has to do her part too! It is your responsibility as her husband to continue to encourage, love, and support her. But if you think that you've done your part and all of a sudden, she just wants to go home a day after you got married then, let her go.

~ Chinook

I noted two things. Poster said his wife is now reading the thread? WARNING Will Robinson, I smell some poo. Seriously? This poster is in for a ride.

#2, don't pay her ticket home? BS. Pay for her ticket and send her packing. Consider that money well spent. Married one day and now wants to leave you? What does the future hold for this oh so stable marriage?

NEXT!!!!

foifoi, forget about singledadusc, he is "different."

If you have evidence of fraud, as you have, then you must present that to USCIS. Immigration in the USA is messed up enough that we don't need a bunch of users and frauds and cons coming to this country. You did this. Great. If you find more, continue to turn in the evidence.

As for the BS line of you are 50% of the promise to come to America that is just pure BUNK. You were cheated. You have no further obligation to your Russian adonis. You turned him in as you should have. You owe him NOTHING. Just stop arguing with the fools on your thread. They are antagonizing you.

As for your own piece of mind, do get some counseling or find your happy place. I don't believe in karma like most of this board constantly talks about. Your Russian will simply move on to his next victim until USCIS catches up with him. Good job on keeping US Citizens a wee bit safer.

Please also note the majority of detractors to your actions are foreign nationals defending God knows what principles. They look at immigration from a different perspective than Americans. USCIS needs to toughen up and in a big way. ICE has the lowest moral of any government agency because the administration makes it almost impossible for ICE to toss out the trash. There is no room in America or anywhere else for that matter for frauds and criminals, but that sadly is a part of human nature. There are users in the world, and those of us who care for the welfare of others and this nation have an obligation to turn those fktards in to the authorities.

Do everything you can to sabotage the green card process, while acting like everything is normal in front of her.

Great advice. I did that and everyone kind of got bitter at me. Be very cool or she WILL call the cops and get a VAWA petition going faster than a green card scam artist from a foreign country.

vjourneyuser, you need to private message me right away. Your life and credibility and money is at great risk RIGHT NOW. Message me!

This is a case where the beneficiary wants to return home, not stay and adjust through VAWA. Unfortunately for you, your spouse was homesick for a lover, not her family. I'm sure you wouldn't be the last case burned by that to. But if your wife was really that homesick for her lover, it begs the question why is she still in the USA? If she wanted to get him here the fastest, she could of faked it with you for three years, gotten citizenship, dumped you and brought him. Not too smart of her, or was just getting to America her main goal?

I don't wanna get too far off course here. Some do get homesick, that might be another K-1 qualifier put in place. Cultural diversity classes in the home country prior to US arrival.

My ex only wanted a green card and her entire family backed her. Get her out of poverty, mud huts, and a hard life. The uncle literally told me they stacked the chips of the lover against my stack of chips and I had a whole helluva a lot more chips.

Recall my ex agreed to go back to Vietnam, then quietly slipped out of the airport with money and a diamond, filed for VAWA, and seduced her Catholic supporter. Green card scam all the way.

Again on the K-1 requirements, fiance's from impoverished high fraud countries (eastern bloc, SE Asia, Africa) should have required alerts to US petitioners signed for just like the affidavits of support. It is in the small print but it should be pushed much higher in terms of importance by USCIS in my opinion.

In theory, your 3 years of faking sounds good on paper and perhaps a good thought to try, but the reality of living with someone you are scamming and climbing in to bed with for 3 years is awfully tough. My wife and I had amazing sex daily for 6 months (amazing for me anyways), but obviously she had a cold heart and was only doing it as an enticement to me for a green card. Recall the last straw for me was finding yet another stash of illicit photos at 5 months of marriage of her with her lover 1 week before and i week after our engagement party.

I strongly advise anyone going K-1 to spend a small amount of money on an overseas private investigator. PI's are out there and can help ferret out the scammers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trust,_but_verify