afoyoswa

It strikes me that it might have something to do with how you are apparently running a restaurant for him? Since you can't earn money legally until after AOS, several months of free labor might be quite an inducement? And even if he isn't paying you, it still isn't permitted for a K-1 to do work that someone else would get paid for doing. I don't know too much about your situation, but I'd be surprised if what you are doing is permitted without an EAD (and he should know that).
I hope you can sort everything out.

Public service announcement:
I really hope your petition gets approved soon! Because otherwise, with the state of extreme indignation and high blood pressure that you seem to be in with every last post that you make, your health (and, to be honest, my patience with you) may not stand much more waiting. I would recommend acquiring a new hobby or starting some sort of new project as a way of learning to cope with this unpleasant in-between state (which most people tend to encounter time and time again throughout life, making it worth learning to handle gracefully). Everyone else here is waiting, too, just like you, and most of us manage not to be tied up in knots about it 100% of the time. Breathe.

I-130 is the petition, and CR-1 is the visa, just as I-129F is the petition for a K-1 visa.
From what I have read, you are free to marry in the U.S. and then apply for the CR-1, but he would have to go back to Canada for the interview, medical, and other requirements, and would also be subject to extra scrutiny when entering the U.S. with an immigrant visa pending. He should bring proof of ties to home, and make sure it is clear that he is visiting, not relocating, until the visa is issued and he officially enters the U.S.

Does Amantel store records of phone calls, though? If not, I'll stick with RebTel: very easy to get and print history. It's 9.9c to Uganda, and Amantel is ~6-7c depending on how much credit you buy, but we really need the call history option.

And that is seriously the only thing you noticed about everything that I said to you in this thread? Like someone else pointed out downthread, believing your plan to be a good idea would take a healthy dose of ignoring everything you don't want to hear, and ignoring everything a poster says except the one thing you can snark about is a classic symptom of that. Best of luck!
(Also, religion and claiming to have religious ideals/motives is a classic lure and a great way to convince someone to let her guard down. Many people who are not at all involved in the religious world are well-versed in the lingo and would be perfectly capable of making someone think that they are the most devout people to ever walk the planet. So the missionary part? I'm not buying it.)

How/where did you two meet each other online? Why is there such a rush that you would get married on the same visit as meeting each other? Reading your story, I feel really skeptical that you know what you are getting into and that this guy is legitimate if you have planned out this entire sequence of events before ever even meeting him, and if I am skeptical, a consular officer is going to be even more skeptical. Please be careful. (In other words, everything newlyweds2010 said.)

And that is seriously the only thing you noticed about everything that I said to you in this thread? Like someone else pointed out downthread, believing your plan to be a good idea would take a healthy dose of ignoring everything you don't want to hear, and ignoring everything a poster says except the one thing you can snark about is a classic symptom of that. Best of luck!
(Also, religion and claiming to have religious ideals/motives is a classic lure and a great way to convince someone to let her guard down. Many people who are not at all involved in the religious world are well-versed in the lingo and would be perfectly capable of making someone think that they are the most devout people to ever walk the planet. So the missionary part? I'm not buying it.)

How/where did you two meet each other online? Why is there such a rush that you would get married on the same visit as meeting each other? Reading your story, I feel really skeptical that you know what you are getting into and that this guy is legitimate if you have planned out this entire sequence of events before ever even meeting him, and if I am skeptical, a consular officer is going to be even more skeptical. Please be careful. (In other words, everything newlyweds2010 said.)

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

How/where did you two meet each other online? Why is there such a rush that you would get married on the same visit as meeting each other? Reading your story, I feel really skeptical that you know what you are getting into and that this guy is legitimate if you have planned out this entire sequence of events before ever even meeting him, and if I am skeptical, a consular officer is going to be even more skeptical. Please be careful. (In other words, everything newlyweds2010 said.)

How/where did you two meet each other online? Why is there such a rush that you would get married on the same visit as meeting each other? Reading your story, I feel really skeptical that you know what you are getting into and that this guy is legitimate if you have planned out this entire sequence of events before ever even meeting him, and if I am skeptical, a consular officer is going to be even more skeptical. Please be careful. (In other words, everything newlyweds2010 said.)

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

How/where did you two meet each other online? Why is there such a rush that you would get married on the same visit as meeting each other? Reading your story, I feel really skeptical that you know what you are getting into and that this guy is legitimate if you have planned out this entire sequence of events before ever even meeting him, and if I am skeptical, a consular officer is going to be even more skeptical. Please be careful. (In other words, everything newlyweds2010 said.)

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.
Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)
I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.
Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.
Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

How/where did you two meet each other online? Why is there such a rush that you would get married on the same visit as meeting each other? Reading your story, I feel really skeptical that you know what you are getting into and that this guy is legitimate if you have planned out this entire sequence of events before ever even meeting him, and if I am skeptical, a consular officer is going to be even more skeptical. Please be careful. (In other words, everything newlyweds2010 said.)

How/where did you two meet each other online? Why is there such a rush that you would get married on the same visit as meeting each other? Reading your story, I feel really skeptical that you know what you are getting into and that this guy is legitimate if you have planned out this entire sequence of events before ever even meeting him, and if I am skeptical, a consular officer is going to be even more skeptical. Please be careful. (In other words, everything newlyweds2010 said.)

I can really relate to what you wrote. I had known and been communicating and repeatedly visiting Aaron for more than a year before I told my parents that he even existed, and that was the same conversation in which I told them that we had gotten engaged. (And no, telling them in advance of the wedding, and trying to help them feel included in my own way, did not help a bit.) Oh, and I'm 33, and have been living on my own for 13 years, and 800 miles away from them for almost 11.
They were, and are, furious about it, which really hurts. Part of it is definitely xenophobia and overprotectiveness: during the only phase in the conversation when my mother seemed to be vaguely aware that this was primarily about my life and not hers, the only things she could think of to tell me were: "black men [or did she say African? or both?] really like blonde women" (implying that he only likes me because I fulfill some sort of tired stereotype), and that (in her opinion) some people only get into interracial relationships because they enjoy opposition and want to make a statement (or something like that).
Part of it is also their religious/traditional values: I (supposedly) belong to them until they give me away to some deserving man who has conducted a closely supervised, parentally sanctioned, and very chaste courtship of me on my parents' couch, or something. HA! Apparently the last 13 years have taught them nothing about me at all.
But a lot of it is just that this does not fit their image of how their life would play out, and in many ways, I and my life only really exist to them as plot devices in their life. I didn't let them write the script or stage manage the performance, which in their minds equates to love, so I must not care. They have been intensely controlling my entire life, and something like this is when those tendencies tend to flare up the most.
We're kind of at an impasse now, and have been since I told them in January. My dad had originally wanted to communicate by email with Aaron (after declining to talk to him on the phone when I offered), which Aaron was willing to do, but I eventually decided not to facilitate that due to the high likelihood that my dad would say a lot of things he would really regret later after getting to know Aaron as a real person. That, and it is really beneath my dignity as an adult to sit idly by and let other people discuss/think they are determining MY future. I think they may come here to visit in a few weeks, and if they do, I may arrange a conversation between all of us and Aaron via webcam, having told him ahead of time that I may abruptly disconnect if they get out of hand. I do want them to feel included, but not if that requires relinquishing my ownership of my own life, or hurts Aaron.
So...family harmony is important, but everyone in your family is currently mourning the demise of their vision of how you would fit into their lives and the choices you would make (as you are mourning the demise of your vision of how they would behave during this exciting time in your life!), so give them some time to work through their emotions. Once he is here, they may be ready to calm down and interact more.
I read an article the other day that said, "Your parents don’t want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn’t always the same thing." They would much rather you do things in your life that are acceptable, safe, normal, and good enough, but you owe it to yourself to do the thing that is a risk but has the potential to give you the best possible, fully realized version of your life.

No one is forced to work anywhere, no. But everyone needs money to live, and if the only or best job option open is one in which there will be exposure to an environmental toxin and no way to protect yourself against it (even workers who deal with asbestos or other occupational hazards have to be protected, by law), should workers really have to choose between their health and their economic survival? Of course not.