believe

Emergency-diapered Mini-Bone without spilling the donation, si man. Rediapered Mini-B. without putting the infernal thing on backwards or giving him a wedgie, no man.

couldn't sleep so got up at 4:30 instead of 5:30. nothing like having the place to yourself before everyone wakes up ...

My foot is better now.

Oh, quit being such a fuddy-duddy. Tell us your shoe size, the last time you bought tires, and your favorite OTC analgesics.

It isn't up to your sponsor if he wants out. It is up to the government and I have never heard of them allowing a sponsor loose after the green card is issued. They are playing with your mind.

Looks like both the Dems and the Republicans are willing to
tackle immigration this coming year. But something strucks me
whenever politicians talk about immigration reform. They only talk about
the borders and the ones here illegally. What about those doing it the right way?? smh..
I actually think the whole visa Bulletin is cruel, it needs to be reformed.
Besides, there's got to be provision for more H1B visas if the US is serious about
innovation.
Fianally most of the immigration laws needs to be updated. Some of the Laws are just
cruel. There is also the need to open more service ccenters to accomodate the daily increases in petitions.
You know Immigration reform should focus on legal immigration not illegal immigration.
This is common sense. Children are waiting for years to join their parents. Siblings are waiting a decade as well.
Why America???? I thought this was the melting pot? where is the pot now? lol

avk, I am so sorry to hear you go through this. I know exactly how you are feeling because just last week I was feeling the same way and BAM my approval came on friday. I had lowest of the lowest moments and I contemplated in my head whether to commit suicide or not. I kept telling myself that how would my family feel? I cried so many times and denounced that God ever existed so many times. I wondered how he could love me and see me go through this pain without helping? As many times I thought about this, I would always dream at night with great visions of the future and God telling me everything would be ok. I would quote scriptures about victory anytime the devil brought negative thoughts to my mind. That helped me alot. I have no car,job or nothing I could call mine so I was stuck in the house for all those months. Try and do things you love the most.Trust me it would clear your head. Take each day as it comes.God gives us strength for each day. Concerning your lawyer,I think he is incompetent. Why not try some non profit organization in your area? It may take a while to get an appointment but this process is all about patience. I have learnt it through the hard way. I am happy i am almost done with this process because attorneys are a thorn in my flesh. My lawyer dooesnt even know that I have been approved. SMH!. It will all work oout avk and everyone else waiting. We have all been there. Feel free to send messages to those of us who have completed this process.I did that and it really helped. God bless everyone and remember God doesn't end in a negative. The path of the righteous continues to shine brighter and brighter.Good luck family

Jesse 007 if you are not in removal proceedings is ok to get married.
To cancel your petition you must send a letter notarized to USCIS asking to cancel your petition,if you have a lawyer he should send the letter asking to cancel tho.
You didn't ask my opinion but I think everyone should wait at least two to three years of DATING before they are sure that they know each other enough to get married.We see people divorcing after dating 3,5 years dating, but getting married after dating for such a short period of time is not a wise decision,just my opinion. USCIS will scrutinize you a bit more than usual in the AOS interview, that's all.If you can prove you have a genuine relationship you will be ok.Good luck

Personal opinion: I submit that, while this point is not untrue, it's a stretch to pick P&R as the preferred location for this thread. The article itself states only health and psychological points -- nothing political -- and the overall topic is disease diagnosis & treatment. The source publication seems to have published it in their "local news" section, because one claim was part of a presentation given at Northern Arizona University and the other was in a medical-topic book. Personally, I would support this thread's move to the Polls forum or Off Topic forum, either of which would be clearly more appropriate than P&R.Furthermore, the poll choices are restricted, with no choice of "it depends" or similar. Very little in health or medicine is 100%, except for the 100% mortality rate in human beings.
To strike a better argument for keeping this thread unmoved, why not instead say "The following article presents arguments about alcoholism as a disease or as a bad choice. What political or social-policy ramifications does either side of the argument have? Discuss."

I'm not a sister, or even contemplating becoming one.
But - you're on a schedule.
Get him on a schedule, as well.
IMO, no muck, no clutter, no decaying food by the time __YOU__ come home, is a great thing. He'll know when you come home each day, so shift him a bit, get him on a schedule - should take less than 1 hour of focused cleaning to get the house back on track, each day.
A Schedule is important. IMO, he needs one, todayish.
Failing all of that - here's a tip for overcoming the maleness in the house.
Go talk with yer Imam/muallah - tell him the issue, then invite him over 1 hour before you are scheduled to get home, knowing full well that he will be training your husband for 'how to clean'. I know it sounds silly, but you get a big man teaching the little man? All is wonderful, in the squeaky house.

This is definitely a tricky situation. It doesn't sound from the description that he's eligible for any paths to adjustment of status in the US, but I wouldn't close off that entire line of possibility until a really good lawyer has reviewed the case. Shusterman in LA is top-quality, you can trust him, but there are others who may be less costly due to being less high-profile. The three linked in my signature definitely would be trustworthy to review your case and find any options that might exist short of leaving the US. Laura and Lizz offer free initial consultations.
However, even if he does have to leave, the fact that he's not currently under any immigration proceedings leaves you with a lot of freedom to time the process of going abroad for a visa, and several recent procedure changes have made it so that his time outside the country could be minimal, as short as a few weeks or less. Waivers for the 10-year ban are now filed at a lockbox in the US and although processing times have plateaued in recent weeks, the were under 90 days. But even more promising is that any day now, between now and the end of the year, an announcement is expected to be made detailing the launching of a Provisional Waiver program for people whose ONLY immigration inadmissibility is the 9B ban (3 or 10-yr unlawful presence ban). The Provisional Waiver would allow him to file the hardship waiver while still in the US, wait for it to be approved, and then go to his visa interview with a provisionally-approved waiver in-hand, allowing him to be immediately able to be given the visa when he goes to Lebanon. You can track this change and any announcements related to it at immigrate2us on this thread: http://immigrate2us.net/forum/showthread.php?107264-Proposed-Provisional-Waiver-Change-for-9B-ban-discussion-and-information
This is something that one of the above-mentioned lawyers would discuss with you, as all good waiver lawyers are preparing for this new change. Don't lose hope, but prepare to spend some money on the waiver process. And definitely check out immigrate2us, there is a lot of information available there.

Sorry to read your story.
'I'm wondering if I can get another one from the Philippines after I divorce'
Interesting wording...like a commodity? I should imagine looking for 'another one' should be the furthest thing from your mind right now.

I would try and report the issues as often as you can, not just writing them down. The reason for this is your prior posts state he isn't above lying... so I wouldn't want him to say the missed pills are YOU, or the weight gain is YOU, or the sickness was YOU so that he can try and get the kid. Speak to your attorney about your concern for your sons welfare, and also how to go about reporting these things to ensure he doesn't try and blame them on you. Perhaps having a third party present at the handovers to act as a witness.

rade2rising you said "try being nice with him it can do wonders". The abused person doesn't have to be "nice" with her abuser at all! You need to understand that people who suffered physical or mental abuse bond with their abusers as a survival strategy due intimidation, but once they are able to break free they should detached themselves from the abuser, and unless it relates to essential urgent communication they should communicate briefly. You can't expect anything reasonable from abusers. She is doing great!!!!!He is the perpetrator, she is the victim, please never ask to any victim to be nice with their abusers. I want to believe you are just misinformed regarding abuse.

Agreed: Everyone, PLEASE avoid quoting the entire original post in your replies.
OP: As stated by others:
1. File a report with Child Protective Services immediately.
2. Take their written report to your police station.
3. Take their written report(s) to ICE, in person, as Darnell recommended. Also -- and this wasn't suggested previously, that I saw -- report to ICE (with back-up in writing, if you have it) that the attorneys (and judge?) are influencing you to commit immigration fraud by suggesting (ordering?) your filing and paying for the ROC. You can bet your remaining dollars that you'll shoot to the top of the priority list -- first ICE's, and by extension the attorneys' and court's -- when you do this. To end the charade and much of your pain, you must do this.
Performing the actions above should take care of your attorney problems.
Remember that the Federal government has unlimited time and resources to make our lives miserable. You have the rare opportunity to turn this to your advantage. Do the above immediately, and stand back and watch how quickly and completely matters swing in your favor.

Good God man, you can't make it up better than this! Another hall of famer for sure.
So singed, in the long run the question is what defect is there in your personality that allows a bold faced liar to pee down your back and tell you it is raining? Naivite, gullibility, trusting to the point of utter stupidity... These are traits I have in common with you. Once I recognized that, I decided to read up on manipulative personality disordres and study the enemy so I could protect myself from them. Both of us lack a certain kind of "radar" that most other people have that allows them to see through manipulative B.S. It is amazing how successful they can be at it though, once they get hold of a target.
First of all, these people are hunting for you 24/7. They know how to recognize you at a distance from your happy-go-lucky face, your polite and cheerful attitude, your sincerity, etc. - and most of all they can see you have a conscience. So of course you are going to marriage counseling to try being an even better husband to this Frankenstein beast while she thinks about how she can get you put into jail on unjustified charges, ruin you financially, and harm your children. Ha ha! The absurdity of that. I can laugh with you because I have been there.
Your lawyer can take seven grand cash in advance from you and tell you to plead guilty to first degree murder. You don't want him to be upset, so you take the life sentence. Really, can you believe this - he essentially advised you to misrepresent this monster to the court by not informing the court of her felony child abuse, extortion, assault - under the theory it will look like "retaliation" if you report her. There is no reason for tolerating child abuse, period. Your lawyer works for you. He represents what you tell him or he is fired. You are in charge, not him.
That is, by the way, what manipulative people do: they make outrageous charges against you, usually accuse you of what they themselves are doing, and then when you defend yourself by saying it is you who are being victimized by them, yes - they accuse you of retaliation. Your lawyer is either working for her, he is stupid, unscrupulous, or incompetent.
When I realized I was at a crisis point - where I knew I was in over my head and I did not have the skills to respond to it - I read three books in rapid succession. One was "In Sheep's Clothing", and that was the best of them. Another was "Nasty People". The third was "Take the Bully by the Horns". Then I started reading widely on all these related disorders - narcissism, sociopaths, emotional vampires, serial killers, con-men, etc. and started to see all the commonalities. What it really did - studying my enemy - was teach me about myself. What my weaknesses were.
The theme through all of it is that these people have absolutely no scruples, no conscience, and no mercy: they exist and there is nothing you can do to change them. All you can do is learn how to recognize them and defend yourself from them. Avoiding them like the plague is the best policy. But when you have to deal with them, then you will know every single tactic they use by name. Before you learn this stuff, you feel like you are being kind of led along. Something feels wrong but you cannot quite see or vocalize what it is. It's frustrating. Baffling.
You are going around thinking everyone is motivated like you are - to be honest and forthright, fair, kind and giving. People don't need to earn your respect and trust because you give it too freely. I can tell you I am an astronaut writing you from the space station right now and you will give me the benefit of the doubt because you wouldn't tell a lie like that. If someone tells you that my name is not on the astronaut list, then all I have to do is tell you another lie - "of course not, because I work for the CIA. That's why my name is not on the list." I'll make you feel really bad for talking to anyone about it and jeapordizing my cover.
If you didn't tolerate lies, people wouldn't lie to you. If you could recognize lies better, along with the double-bind, shaming, guilt-tripping, evasion, denial, selective memory/attention, etc. then you could call them the instant they are played on you. These incessant little ambushes manipulators are always setting for you, in their infinite variations. Start off with "In Sheep's Clothing". That's my top recommendation. But read widely.

Ma'am,
I am truly sorry for what you are going through but this is no nightmare, this is the life you are living right now. I am new to this forum since I have recently gotten married and going through the CR1 process myself, but I felt compelled to answer to this post.
I 100% agree with everyone on this post, you need to get yourself together and leave him ASAP, don't pass go, don't collect 200$, just leave. I'd get the marriage annuled, cut my losses as the other VJ'ers have suggested and make like a tree, and get out of there. Stop all contact with him immediately, it's obvious that you are still emotionally attached to him at the hip. And as long as he knows that he will always appeal to that to get you to stay with him. No phone calls, emails, video chat, or smoke signals. There are ways to get this done without him, Google is an excellent friend:)
He is just verbally abusive now, it WILL escalate to physical violence in time. Don't wait another minute....

M-Bone,
What you've described is classic Ecuatoriano "machista" behavior -- and I mean classic. The suspicion, the drinking, the double standards... I can't even chalk much of it up to his feeling like a "pescado out of water" in his new environment.
When I was courting & visiting the future Mrs. T-B., she mentioned this behavior to me, stating without rancor that this is why she could never marry an Ecuatoriano. She said, "Whether to a greater or lesser extent, every Ecuatoriano is a macho." I took intellectual note of it, but I privately dismissed it as exaggeration. Well, on my second visit, I did some observing. Every one of the dozen boyfriends/husbands that I observed exhibited machista behavior. Some of it was absolutely appalling. Even one of my future brothers-in-law -- so personable and popular and sweet with his kids and everything else -- blew up in a macho way over something completely innocuous. His poor little wife (my future sister-in-law) was terrified.
At our Stokes interrogation at the ####### Guayaquil consulate, the Foreign Service National who interviewed me asked why Mrs. T-B.-to-be wanted to marry an American. I told him that she wouldn't marry an Ecuatoriano because of the ingrown, inbred machista behavior that they all exhibited. He said, "Yes, there are still pockets of that here and there." When he said that, it was all that I could do not to bust through the Plexiglass and throttle him for being so dismissive of the obvious.
Your Ecuatoriano's behavior, abusiveness, and actions are just like those of a lowlife American redneck who lives in a trailer park. (How are they not?) That's the American equivalent of the caliber of guy that you married. To hell with feeling sorry for him. The objective situation is that, just like Mrs. T-B., you have no obligation to put up with any of this. His behavior and actions come from the culture and how he was raised, and he will not and cannot change. Despite your hopes and his apologies or protests, he will not change. Therefore, you need to cut the cord -- wish him well, but state that you have higher standards for treatment (which you do, or else you wouldn't have posted here), and he needs to leave. Use the AOS money to send him home, or to any other country where he might like to go.
As one whose previous marriage (to an Americana) was quite dysfunctional, I can tell you that as soon as he's permanently gone, you'll sit down in your now-peaceful home, open your favorite adult beverage, and say out loud to no one in particular, "I'm free." And it's the best feeling in the world, si man.

Nigerian men have in general been raised in a culture were until recently wives where property. There was no penalty for killing your wife. Men ate first and went there way, woman ate the leftovers. Many weren't personally raised with this mindset but it was common. Beating was an acceptable method of correcting your wife. I would bet your soon to be ex was raised in this kind of house. Many have gotten to the US back before 9 11 using other peoples ID's or forged documents. Once here they ply various immigration tricks to stay as long as possible, sending whatever money they are making back home so when their immigration trail of lies falls apart they are usually well off by Nigerian standards. I am happy to hear you are away from this man as he was setting a terrible example of married life for your child. Your were a tool in his plan to stay in the US for as long as possible. He will be angry that you have trown a wrench into his plans so DO NOT spend a single second alone with him. If he has something that he claims must be handled in person take another adult and meet in a public place. Consider his lawyer to be suspect of illict activity and do not meet alone in his office.
Good Luck

They want someone who doesn't know them, and who has no emotional stake in the outcome, to confirm to them what the rational side of their brain already knows.

There's a lot of conjecture going on, but I keep coming back to this one statement. This isn't ambiguous, and can't be explained away by cultural differences. "Nothing to restore"? "Artificial strain"? "Act like what we ware not"? She doesn't consider this marriage to be genuine. She never did. She apparently thought he understood this, as well. The deal, in her mind, was two years of occasional sex in return for a ten year green card.
If anyone still has any doubts, I ask you to pretend for a moment that the OP married the American girl next door, and she was behaving like the OP's wife, and she sent him the comment quoted above. Would you have any doubt that the marriage was a sham in her mind?