How to make a long distance relationship work

[Ms. Squirrel 11]

Being in a long distance relationship isn't easy. My husband is 11,252 miles away with a 12 hours time difference. He couldn't go any further if he tried!

Here are some really good tips on how to make things work: How to make a long distance relationship work

Jeffrey and I really like the idea of reading the same book at the same time - the hard part is to find a book we both like!

We usually speak on the phone once a week and text or msn every day. He's been gone for roughly two months now, but we are dealing well with the situation. Of course we miss each other, but we both have our own lives and not only depend on the relationship. It's not a piece of cake, but it's ok. Christmas is going to be tough though.

I'd love to hear what things other couples do, in order to cope with the situation.

Julie

[miles 0]

Being in a long distance relationship isn't easy. My husband is 11,252 miles away with a 12 hours time difference. He couldn't go any further if he tried!

Here are some really good tips on how to make things work: How to make a long distance relationship work

Jeffrey and I really like the idea of reading the same book at the same time - the hard part is to find a book we both like!

We usually speak on the phone once a week and text or msn every day. He's been gone for roughly two months now, but we are dealing well with the situation. Of course we miss each other, but we both have our own lives and not only depend on the relationship. It's not a piece of cake, but it's ok. Christmas is going to be tough though.

I'd love to hear what things other couples do, in order to cope with the situation.

Julie

Hi Julie! yeah...I agree with that it is very hard to be far away from your love one. It has been four long years .... But thanks for the high technology. We used to talk before tru yahoo with voice and cam. That is the only way because long distance is too expensive. And we made it finally. We have been tru hardships but after the long run We are now in ONE roof. Just have a lot of patience , sacrifice and tell your parter the hard feelings of being alone and How you miss him every single seconds I am sure you will be in one feeling even you are apart. Goodluck! I will pray that you will be reunited again with your love one.

Miles

[Laura_Z 1]

well, me and my baby have been together for 2 years and 3 months now...and we used to talk on the phone every week for a few hours, email every day and then we discovered yahoo voice. now we talk evry singe day , sometimes twice or 3 times a day we text on phone and we beep eachother...and now we are waiting for a favorable situation, after our denial...christmas surely will be hard..but it's easier with the new tehnology...

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

For us, the only reason it works is, solely, because it's a temporary situation in the hands of a third party. We don't look at it as a long distance relationship. We had a long distance introduction, a long distance courtship, and a long distance engagement. But the true (as in marriage) relationship will begin when we are as close together as it gets.

[Cassie 8]

sending pictures -- J would go on walks and take pictures and send them to me so I could see what he was seeing.

sending little treats once in a while was nice. Oh and the best was getting little handwritten notes from J out of the blue.

Hugs to you Julie -- glad to see you back

[Fandango 1,439]

We talk everyday...webcam often as well. D has vonage with a virtual number, so it's a local call for me. I go into his acct online and change the call forwarding options to a number where he's at. So even if I'm just driving along in my car, I'll call him up at work just to say ILU.

We pull on the strength that we're perfect together & we were written in the stars. Once you accept that as a couple, imo it makes everything else pale in comparison.

Good luck!

[Ms. Squirrel 11]

...and now we are waiting for a favorable situation, after our denial...christmas surely will be hard..but it's easier with the new tehnology...

I so sorry to hear about your visa being denied.

I hope that it was just for a silly reason and hat you will get your visa soon. (((hugs)))

For us, the only reason it works is, solely, because it's a temporary situation in the hands of a third party. We don't look at it as a long distance relationship. We had a long distance introduction, a long distance courtship, and a long distance engagement. But the true (as in marriage) relationship will begin when we are as close together as it gets.

That was very beautiful said, Tiger. You know, I just realised that I am actually in a long distance marriage. And somehow that helps a wee bit with the "being so far away" from each other - there is this invisible band holding us together.

sending pictures -- J would go on walks and take pictures and send them to me so I could see what he was seeing. ]

sending little treats once in a while was nice. Oh and the best was getting little handwritten notes from J out of the blue.

Hugs to you Julie -- glad to see you back

The photo idea is a very good one, how sweet of Jerry I bought a new camera today - so guess what I am going to start doing

So good to see you Cassie, it's been a long, long time! (((hugs)))

[Mel and Syl 0]

Mel and i are together for over 4 years now. I call it a LDR because in our hearts we don't feel like being appart. It is hard but the most important thing to me is to trust one an other and communicate as much as possible. We talk on the phone almost every day, we email sometimes cuz he doesn't like all this computer things. We send each ohter pictures and we talk to each others parents and family members.

[Welshcookie 17]

I have been so lucky never to have been separated from my husband....in the years I have been here on VJ I am always in admiration of all of you who deal with being apart like this....y'all deserve medals alongside your visas (well, at least a box of the best cookies in the world ) (F)

[marie_9 0]

My hubby call me everyday like 5 to 10 times a day while he's at work!! he's the one waking me up in the morning and we chat using webcams when he gets home (noon my time which is his time before goin to bed) and again evening my time which is his morning as he wakes up. We text each other also very often especially while the other one is sleeping and it helps to build a sweeter relationship just saying anything ur doing to ur other half. We feel like we're just there on each other's side! but ofcourse there are times that i just miss hugging and kissing him!

Edited November 23, 2007 by elmo_9

[jrmach1 0]

It is funny how having a long distance relationship makes you the best friend of the phone and the computer all my friends say that the phone is an extension of my arm since I met my baby.

We have made and schedule for phone calls my husband calls my everyday at the same time 3 times, in the morning when we arrives to work and as soon as he gets to the house back from work he calls me too and then before we goes to bed that way we just make a summary to each other of all the events of the day and when we are not to tire to talk that last phone call can last forever and on the weekend we chat with the miracle web cam on that way i get to see his beautiful face we play games on line and sometimes we ask stupid things to each other to make everything more real like what should I have for supper it doesn't matter we are not going to have it together at least I get to know what would I eat if I would've been with him at that moment.

I love my hubby and it is really hard to have him far away but when I get to see him in person it is just amazing to fall in love over and over again .

[bostonparis 0]

We're together now, but when we were going through the process, we talked on the phone at least twice a day. His was the first voice I heard in the morning, on my drive to work. His was the last voice I heard at night, after he got home from work and I was in bed. Even if it was just to say I love you, just hearing his voice made it that much easier, and he felt the same way. I don't think we went a day without.

But, like you try and read the same books, we used to go to the movies at around the same time to watch the same movie. Then, when we were walking home from the movie theater, we would talk about the movie. It almost felt like we were at the movies together...

[SandyNJack 5]

Vonage is a wonder, when it works, for the inexpesive way to talk to your love every day. Then of course MSN messenger and the web cam. Make sure you talk about everything, no matter what is bothering you. Hopefully he will have bad days when you do not and you will have bad days when he does not. It is hard but if you really love each other it can be done.

[TracyOz 0]

WE talk each and every day, sometimes once for several hours, other times several for shorter periods... (THERE ARE so many VOIP providers out there now that this is an easy and inexpensive option). We also send each other text messages and picture messages (about what we are doing "normal day to day stuff & also any fun or exciting stuff happening around us)... some of our clips or pictures are CRAZY... like I will send him a pic. of what I have made for dinner, or where the sun is setting outside, or something nutty that the kids and I are doing, he will send me photos and voice messages like - "move over you were taking all the bedding last night" or "sheesh you went to the bathroom, haven't come out - so we have gone to bed".... LOL silly but so normal at the same time... we KNOW it is short term and the GREAT thing is we get to keep all that silliness for our scrapbooks and stories for our grandshildren... <grin> who else can honestly say that unless they too have gone through this tortuous experience???

It is HARD - oh my gosh so so hard... but when Steve and I are on the phone, i LOVE hearing his voice, and there are times I cry because I just cannot deal with all the (day to day) without him anymore - even though I am normally a fairly relaxed and easy person... but this THIS is crazy, I want to be with the man I am engaged to... not 12,000 miles away from him LOL.. ... but we talk it through, then we are laughing and then we are talking about things and emotions, things that upset us, or make us laugh, important and not-so-important issues, we discuss the news headlines - we talk each other through a movie we might have just seen or what we have done that day, things we are going to be doing together, purchasing to organise our home, how we are going to raise our kids etc... feelings and "just stuff" that many many other couples who are around each other all the time DO NOT get around to talking about... and because of that we feel that we have a deeper and more honest understanding of each other (and ourselves) than we could have had otherwise...

Believe me it is TOUGH... BUT I also fully believe that getting through this process will make us and our relationship stronger, and we will will know and understand more about each other than many many many other couples who take their "close distance" for granted....

have a GREAT day

Tracy

[Toshtishtash 1]

WE talk each and every day, sometimes once for several hours, other times several for shorter periods... (THERE ARE so many VOIP providers out there now that this is an easy and inexpensive option). We also send each other text messages and picture messages (about what we are doing "normal day to day stuff & also any fun or exciting stuff happening around us)... some of our clips or pictures are CRAZY... like I will send him a pic. of what I have made for dinner, or where the sun is setting outside, or something nutty that the kids and I are doing, he will send me photos and voice messages like - "move over you were taking all the bedding last night" or "sheesh you went to the bathroom, haven't come out - so we have gone to bed".... LOL silly but so normal at the same time... we KNOW it is short term and the GREAT thing is we get to keep all that silliness for our scrapbooks and stories for our grandshildren... <grin> who else can honestly say that unless they too have gone through this tortuous experience???

It is HARD - oh my gosh so so hard... but when Steve and I are on the phone, i LOVE hearing his voice, and there are times I cry because I just cannot deal with all the (day to day) without him anymore - even though I am normally a fairly relaxed and easy person... but this THIS is crazy, I want to be with the man I am engaged to... not 12,000 miles away from him LOL.. ... but we talk it through, then we are laughing and then we are talking about things and emotions, things that upset us, or make us laugh, important and not-so-important issues, we discuss the news headlines - we talk each other through a movie we might have just seen or what we have done that day, things we are going to be doing together, purchasing to organise our home, how we are going to raise our kids etc... feelings and "just stuff" that many many other couples who are around each other all the time DO NOT get around to talking about... and because of that we feel that we have a deeper and more honest understanding of each other (and ourselves) than we could have had otherwise...

Believe me it is TOUGH... BUT I also fully believe that getting through this process will make us and our relationship stronger, and we will will know and understand more about each other than many many many other couples who take their "close distance" for granted....

have a GREAT day

Tracy

Very well said

I won't bother typing mine then! Cos that's pretty much what I would have said!