Wife's New Name After Marriage

[Sankofa 0]

My husband and I offically married on October 21. I have not changed my name as of yet, because it is a source of discontent in our household over what my new name will be. I have my maternal grandmother's first name and my paternal grandmother's middle name so both of those names are EXTREMELY important to me. But my maiden name is just as important. I want to keep my name as is and add my husband's last name offically on my SS card (4 names). But on my license and other documents I will have: First Name - Maiden Name - Husband's Last Name. I didn't forsee this being a huge problem, so I just mentioned it to him in passing. He thinks I'm too attached to my family and I'm afraid to let go. On the other hand, I really think of this as a personal decison, not a joint marriage decision. It's my name. What's important is that when we have kids, all of us will have the same last name - not what's between my first and last name....

(He'd die if he knew I was sharing this information with strangers... better you all then my mother!!)

Edited November 7, 2007 by Sankofa

[raymaga 25]

This was both my husband and I's 2nd marriages.

I asked my husband what his preference was (just so I knew, even though I intended to decide for myself). He said he'd prefer for me to take his last name.

I thought it over and decided to take his last name, so I dropped my previous married name. My 3 kids were older, but if they had been small children, I probably would have kept my previous married name so that I had the same last name as my kids, but they were 23, 21 and 16 at the time I got married.

[Nessa 23]

am i insane or is this the second poll exactly the same without an option for people without middle names!!!!!!??????!??!?!??!?

[nin 1]

Of course it's something that should be discussed, but in the end if it's the person who change his or her name(s) that decides.

The argument that you're too attached to your family if you don't change yours should go both ways, no?

I bet he's not willing to ditch his own and take yours. Fine, then you BOTH ditch your old names and pick a new one together. Still a no? Then I say go ahead with what YOU want. It takes some fragment of giving in from both sides for a compromise.

From hearing your point of view here I'd say keep all your old names and add your hubby's.

[Sankofa 0]

am i insane or is this the second poll exactly the same without an option for people without middle names!!!!!!??????!??!?!??!?

I apoligize if this is a repeat poll. I searched for a poll like this, but I came up with nothing... If you can find me the link I will ask to cancel this one. It is a personal question for me. If it offends you - feel free not to answer

[Nessa 23]

am i insane or is this the second poll exactly the same without an option for people without middle names!!!!!!??????!??!?!??!?

I apoligize if this is a repeat poll. I searched for a poll like this, but I came up with nothing... If you can find me the link I will ask to cancel this one. It is a personal question for me. If it offends you - feel free not to answer

it doesn't offend me, I was just wondering if I had just seen this same poll a few days ago and I have. And I can't vote anyway, it doesn't have an option. Nothing against your poll

link

[Jasman0717 8]

Claudeth kept her middle name and took my last name

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

Claudeth kept her middle name and took my last name

That's what I'll be doing... But not your name! lol

[bora bora 1]

Yea, I was surprised to see the almost exact same thread....

But since I hadn't voted - I knew it was (a bit) different.

Of course I kept my middle name - that seems weird to change it. I dropped my father's last name and took my husband's. I have no connection to my father (besides that he made me) really so I don't feel the need to have his name. My mother is divorced and remarried and has a different last name than my sisters and I.

I was the one who wanted to change my last name and my husband didn't say much except that he liked the idea. However, once I changed it and some people still called me by my maiden name, he'd correct them. I know that he likes my decision. I want our children to have the same last name as us.

[tom&tata 2]

Did not change last name. None of us think it is a big deal.

[Asante Maroon 0]

I think it best that a compromise be made so that both of you are satisfied. After all isn't that was marriage is about? Put it this way, you don't want to have bad blood between each other because of a name change. I would not suggest that you not take your hubby's name just as I would not suggest that you eliminate the names that are special to you.

whether or not you write all four or five names on every document should not matter just as long as it is legally documented....its still your government name regardless. You are just going to have a loooooong name if you are not willing to let go of any of them

Whatever decision you make...try to compromise.

Good luck mama!

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

I didn't feel attached to my maiden name and dropped it in my first marraige. This is my second marraige and it's very important to Bassi that I carry his name as his wife. But I have a 5 year old from my previous marraige and I don't want her to be the only one with her name in our family once we start having children. So, I am keeping my previous married name and adding my fiance's name. So I'll just have a sentence for a name and I haven't decided how I will sign documents. Essentially, I have the ability to sign anyway I want because I have divorce papers to prove that I'm allowed to use my maiden name and I'll have a marraige certificate that says I can use my new husbands name. Maybe I'll sign everything with a different name and give those identity theives a run for their money!

[~*Maria*~ 1]

kept current middle name and dropped maiden name, we both decided because we make decisions together.

[Asante Maroon 0]

I didn't feel attached to my maiden name and dropped it in my first marraige. This is my second marraige and it's very important to Bassi that I carry his name as his wife. But I have a 5 year old from my previous marraige and I don't want her to be the only one with her name in our family once we start having children. So, I am keeping my previous married name and adding my fiance's name. So I'll just have a sentence for a name and I haven't decided how I will sign documents. Essentially, I have the ability to sign anyway I want because I have divorce papers to prove that I'm allowed to use my maiden name and I'll have a marraige certificate that says I can use my new husbands name. Maybe I'll sign everything with a different name and give those identity theives a run for their money!

[jezz85 0]

I kept my maiden name as a second middle name and added my husbands name as my new last name. It doesn't effect my daily life at all, and in fact, every ID that own with the exception of my SS card has dropped all my names down to my first middle initial anyway. My maiden name barely makes an appearance in my life but it's nice to know it's there because it's a part of my identity.