Married or Maiden Name: Last Name Debate for the Modern Woman

[Dan J 277]

I feel I'm a pretty fair guy, but I'll make it clear that I expect her to take my family name. If that is such a big issue and sticking point I'm fine with starting over.

Really? Because it's not the tradition for a woman in china to take her husbands name. If if her practicing her cultural norms were something that mattered to her, it would be a deal breaker?

There are a few situations where I think the woman should keep her name, such as if they really are a celebrity or they are so well known in their field that the name change would cause problems.

In my particular case I believe her having a western first name and having her husband's last name is something I'd want and I'll make it clear.

I guess reading that article just got me going because feminists have done such a great job attacking all of the limited traditions in this society. Some of the things they fought for are fair, but where does it end?

Man and women will never be totally equal in all regards. Men can't get pregnant and carry a child. Women won't and shouldn't be on the front lines of a war.

So many guys now just seem emasculated and willing to put up with whatever. I feel there should be a point where men have to be men to hold onto any self respect they have, otherwise like that article suggests, you could have guys taking their wives names and the kids taking the mother's maiden name soon.

Heck, if I get married and have two girls maybe that won't be so bad, but if I had a son and he was so whipped by his woman to accept that I'd disown him.

Of course men and women are different, but your only hanging on to cultural gender roles.

Most Asian cultures, except those groups that have been Christianized, don't really hold to the concept of a surname as western cultures do. That doesn't make them any less masculine.

[Jaseball 0]

Wow, I feel so enlightened now that you've explained my 'place' in life.

This has nothing to do with me putting anyone in their 'place.' I'm just describing my own outlook in relation to the topic and my fiancee if this issue became a problem. For some men it really doesn't matter, but to me it does. How I feel about this really doesn't affect anyone, except my fiancee and I doubt she has a problem with it, but I'm going to check to be sure.

[Ban Hammer 14,269]

Wow, I feel so enlightened now that you've explained my 'place' in life.

who let you outta the kitchen?

[no name 1]

Wow, I feel so enlightened now that you've explained my 'place' in life.

who let you outta the kitchen?

Nessa & I got finished with the 'dishes' already......

[Mags 112]

Wow, I feel so enlightened now that you've explained my 'place' in life.

who let you outta the kitchen?

Nessa & I got finished with the 'dishes' already......

"Dishes". Is that what they're calling it nowadays?

[no name 1]

Wow, I feel so enlightened now that you've explained my 'place' in life.

who let you outta the kitchen?

Nessa & I got finished with the 'dishes' already......

"Dishes". Is that what they're calling it nowadays?

Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc....

[Geist 0]

I took my husband's last name because it's so delightfully ethnic I couldn't resist it Now no one can pronounce my last name and I find it thoroughly amusing to watch them try

Having said that, it's a personal choice and today seems to have very little to do with societal expectations than what the couple itself decides.

[bszoom42 0]

My fiancee decided to take on my last name, and change her first name as well. In our family's traditions, women upon marriage get the opportunity to change their first name to one of their choosing.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I believe in a one COMMON name. Pick one from either spouse, or a neutral name. Marriage is about joining together and becoming ONE!

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

I believe in a one COMMON name. Pick one from either spouse, or a neutral name. Marriage is about joining together and becoming ONE!

Well said!

I choose to take his name. Not a big deal for me.

[trailmix 77]

Wow, I feel so enlightened now that you've explained my 'place' in life.

This has nothing to do with me putting anyone in their 'place.' I'm just describing my own outlook in relation to the topic and my fiancee if this issue became a problem. For some men it really doesn't matter, but to me it does. How I feel about this really doesn't affect anyone, except my fiancee and I doubt she has a problem with it, but I'm going to check to be sure.

You mean you haven't discussed it yet?

[Dan J 277]

I believe in a one COMMON name. Pick one from either spouse, or a neutral name. Marriage is about joining together and becoming ONE!

I personally don't care about a common name even. Its up to my fiancee and her alone as to what to do when we get married.

[trailmix 77]

I have my maiden name, it's my name, I don't see it as a big deal at all and my Husband could care less.

[no name 1]

I have my maiden name, it's my name, I don't see it as a big deal at all and my Husband could care less.

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

A name is nothing more than a way of identifying you. Being insecure based solely on your name is funny as he!!.