Are there any happy Moroccan husbands out there? Wives, please post!

[flora87 0]

I just want to know.  Are there any good and happy Moroccan husbands out there?  To you American wives, are your Moroccan husbands working?  Are they happy?  Are they grateful to be in the United States?  Do they take advantage of the opportunities around them?  Do they think well of Americans instead of constantly cutting them up and calling them stupid behind their backs.  Do they treat you well and respect you?  Do they appreciate it when you to help them with something instead of calling you stupid?  Do they appreciate the things they have even if they aren't the top of the line?  If so I will tell you you are very lucky.  If you are living with a hardworking, kind, polite, appreciative husband, who is happy to live in the United States, and taking advantage of all that we have here,will you please post about it?  I would like for someone to restore my faith in Moroccan men and convince me that there are some good Moroccan husbands out there.  I know that there are.  I would just like to hear about it, please, because I cannot even believe what I am living through right now.  Please post and brag on your man.  I'm sure it sounds weird, but it will really encourage me.  Thanks, everyone.

[Timona 3,943]

@JeanneAdil

[JeanneAdil 6,203]

there are quite  a few of us 

i believe Beth & Achraf  are also happy in their marriage

3 other men are from my husbands home town and  married over 10 years and all 3 are USC's

adil came 9/5/2015  on IR1

had a job by November /has always worked and puts in as much overtime as he can to help mother back in Morocco

married now 14 years this March

When he became a USC , he took me for our anniversary to Paris 

 

biggest issue "i don't cook like a Moroccan"   I try but i don't do the spices right so  he cooks a lot which is in my  favor 

although he says " he doesn't celebrate christmas"  i get a big ticket item  from him  sometime between thanksgiving and Christmas

 

when i fell head first down 9 stairs breaking both wrists and also   going thru surgery on both shoulders,   adil took care of everything including the very basic issues like washing my hair,  all the cooking , cleaning ,grocery shopping,  etc

 

Now,  in all seriousness "what are you going thru?"

many spouses here go thru hard adjustments like serious homesickness

the community is willing to read what u write and give some pretty good advice

everything is discussed here and most are not quick to judge

he won't work or help around the house?

will  he go to marriage counseling?

that would be  a hard thing for most Moroccan men as its not normal for them to  share their  private life 

 

some marriages just don't work out 

and Morocco has its share of "those who will do anything to get out of Moroc"

 

to me when its good, its real good and when its bad, its real bad and there is no in between

 

 

Edited January 25 by JeanneAdil

[JeanneAdil 6,203]

Btw

Us bragging does not help your situation

so,  do not hesitate here to post and ask for help on any issue

[JeanneAdil 6,203]

and please do a timeline and use moroccan flag so the post is kept in Morocco portal

[flora87 0]

23 hours ago, JeanneAdil said:

there are quite  a few of us 

i believe Beth & Achraf  are also happy in their marriage

3 other men are from my husbands home town and  married over 10 years and all 3 are USC's

adil came 9/5/2015  on IR1

had a job by November /has always worked and puts in as much overtime as he can to help mother back in Morocco

married now 14 years this March

When he became a USC , he took me for our anniversary to Paris 

 

biggest issue "i don't cook like a Moroccan"   I try but i don't do the spices right so  he cooks a lot which is in my  favor 

although he says " he doesn't celebrate christmas"  i get a big ticket item  from him  sometime between thanksgiving and Christmas

 

when i fell head first down 9 stairs breaking both wrists and also   going thru surgery on both shoulders,   adil took care of everything including the very basic issues like washing my hair,  all the cooking , cleaning ,grocery shopping,  etc

 

Now,  in all seriousness "what are you going thru?"

many spouses here go thru hard adjustments like serious homesickness

the community is willing to read what u write and give some pretty good advice

everything is discussed here and most are not quick to judge

he won't work or help around the house?

will  he go to marriage counseling?

that would be  a hard thing for most Moroccan men as its not normal for them to  share their  private life 

 

some marriages just don't work out 

and Morocco has its share of "those who will do anything to get out of Moroc"

 

to me when its good, its real good and when its bad, its real bad and there is no in between

 

 

 

[flora87 0]

I'm hesitant to give too many details on the off chance he would ever see this post.  That's also why I cannot do a timeline at this point.  Basically he is the opposite of everything I put in my original post, i.e. unhappy, ungrateful, condescending.  I really do appreciate you sharing about your husband, and I'm genuinely so happy for you.  It really makes me feel better because like I said, I know there are good and happy Moroccan husbands out there.  I think some people just fail to thrive here.  If everything isn't exactly to their liking, they just give up.  There are so many opportunities here, but you have to step out and do something or you will never make it.  And you have to be willing to contribute, and you have to not spend all your time on the phone with Moroccans.  Also, If you are waiting for the money truck to pull up and dump a million dollars in your front yard, you will be disappointed.  I suppose some husbands come over here and get to lounge around by a pool and spend their wife's money, but I would guess that most don't, and most have to make their way here.  Maybe that was miscommunicated by me, but I feel like my reality was pretty evident before he arrived, and yet, somehow, for some reason, he expected something completely different apparently.  Maybe a trip back home would help, but that too would have to be provided by me, and as it is I am struggling to hold the fort down financially, but I am really hoping I can provide that for him.  I do have one question.  If we do not do Removal of Conditions, basically he will have to go home, is that correct?  And he will not have an opportunity to return to the US?  I cannot imagine giving up the opportunity to live here when so many would give everything to do so.

[Timona 3,943]

He doesn't need to go home when you do removal of conditions. He can travel in and out during it. He still has his GC status 

[RJandHamid 1,128]

My husband arrived in the US on the K-1 visa in 2017. He's now a US citizen and we're doing well. No relationship is completely perfect, but we definitely have many more good days than bad ones. My husband works very hard and has been a major support to me both financially and emotionally. 

 

The initial adjustment period is tough. I don't know how long your husband has been in the US, but I will say that the first year, even first 2 years were tougher in the sense that moving to the US from Morocco can be such a large cultural learning curve and it really does take some time to be comfortable navigating life in America. 

[JeanneAdil 6,203]

3 senerios come to mind

 

1.  big case of homesickness but that is no reason to not contribute to life in the US 

2.  he wanted to come to US and used your love to do it with no intention to make u happy/it was all about him and a US  visa

3.  He is completely dependent on u and he resents it.

 

How will u know if   the 2nd one is the case?   Return to chats between the 2 of u/ did he always want to talk about visa and immigration issues and not romance?  there are clues/   did u ever have feelings about him that should have served as a warning.

there are too many Moroccans who want to get out of Moroc at any cost. 

If a Moroccan says "there are no jobs here"  it means they don't have a high paying  job as they often quit school

so did he work when u met ?

MY Adil always had a job and was supporting 11 family members and 2 houses 

Was he always on the cell when u were with him in Moroc?   Is he looking for work here or letting u pay for the cell?  Providing cell coverage is not an essential basic need.  u are free to tell him "if u want to keep the cell coverage,  get a job and pay for it"

We must have food, water, air, and shelter to survive. If any one of these basic needs is not met, then humans cannot survive.

Do yourself a favor and find something he really wants like to own a car,   etc.   let him know the total cost and tell him ,  he can have one but he has to work for it.

 

BTW  if he came on spouse visa or u did AOS (K1) and has the green card,  he can divorce and do his own ROC   

and yes,  you are responsible for the I 864 till he works 40 quarters or becomes a USC

 

yeah,  it is hard to leave all u know and move to another country but u have to set some standards now 

usually love will make 2 people compromise and rules don't need to be set  and u can bring that up

Tell him a marriage  counselor is needed.  if u can't discuss it here, u do need someone to talk to 

 

I gotta say that in the beginning (2 or 3 years)  Adil was on the cell talking to family/friends most of the time 

it changed because lives changed on both sides/  friends married and others things happened .  he kinda lost touch with many

 

[Bethie 57]

Yes, very lucky with my husband.  He works hard,   1 full time job, manager at Walmart,  his part time job, Team Leader Home Depot,  works there so he can pay his own  new 2024 truck  payment instead of coming out of joint account, so he is not lazy at all.

Very kind with me, would do anything for anyone,  funny,  very social, involved in the community youth soccer club, he is a volunteer  coach,   Not selfish at all, great Dog father,   not bossy or demanding.  Does not complain when I " waste money".   I was blessed with him.   

 

 

Best wishes to you,

 

Beth & Achraf 

 

   I cant log into my current account, so using this one until I can get into current account.