Let Sleeping Dogs Rant

[TBoneTX 47,517]

5 hours ago, Ban Hammer said:

the big bang wasn't just a theory in arkansas

THE OUTHOUSE PROBLEM, SI MAN

 

Ma and Pa were two old folks living on a farm in the Arkansas hills, si man.  Pa found out that the hole under their outhouse was full, si man.  He told Ma that he didn't know how to empty the hole, no man.

 

Ma said, "Why don't you go ask the youngun down the road, huh man?  He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate, si man."

 

Pa drove to the neighbor's house and asked him, "Mr. College Gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it, si and no man."

 

The young man said, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse, si man.  Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time, si man.  The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air, si man.  While it's in the air, the second one will go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground, si man.  The outhouse should then come back down on the same spot atop the now-empty hole, si man."

 

Pa thanked the neighbor, then bought two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse, si man.  He went home and put them under the outhouse, si man.  He lit them and ran behind a tree, si man.

 

All of a sudden, Ma ran out of the house and into the outhouse, si man.  Boom, si man!  The first stick of dynamite exploded, shooting the outhouse into the air, si man.

 

Boom, si man!  The second stick of dynamite exploded, spreading poop all over the farm, si man.  Then, WHAM, si man!  The outhouse came crashing back down atop the hole, si man.

 

Pa raced to the outhouse, threw open the door, and asked, "Ma, are you all right, huh man?"

 

As Ma pulled up her panties, she said, "Yeah, si man, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen, no man!"

Edited July 6 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 47,517]

Sorry Excuse For American Hasn't Blown Off Single Finger With Fireworks

 

LEE'S SUMMIT, MO — As people across the nation prepared to celebrate the 4th of July holiday, one sorry excuse for an American revealed he had yet to blow off a single finger with fireworks.

Sources close to 39-year-old Ben Malick said that they were unable to confirm whether or not he was actually a citizen of the United States due to the fact that he had not lost any of his digits in a horrific fireworks accident.

"Can anyone with all 10 fingers really consider themselves an American?" asked one of his friends.  "It [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/sorry-excuse-for-american-hasnt-blown-off-single-finger-with-fireworks

[Neonred 3,917]

7 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

How VERY Arkansan, si D ma'am.

Shouldn't Arkansans instead register at dentists for Denture Rewards, huh D ma'am?

 

Oh, that's just cruel.

[TBoneTX 47,517]

18 hours ago, Neonred said:

Oh, that's just cruel.

Oh, that's just more bu$ine$$ for you, $i man.

[TBoneTX 47,517]

Thrilling (!!?) Sunday-on-Monday report, see man:

 

We took no HSM bedtime medicine, save for if/when we can zzz in longer man.

 

Movers couldn't give an exact time, depended on when crews finished their morning runs man.

We went to Mama T-B.'s old casa an hour before noon, Many a.m. man.

We prepped furniture further for moving, preparatory we man.

We got receptionist to notify her colleague that we had leftover furniture for sale, this would help man.

 

Lunch from downstairs was BBQ pork ribs, baked potato, green beans, tortilla soup, and an unidentifiable sugar-free dessert in lieu of cherry cobbler, ingest and preserve A1c we man.

 

Movers called to estimate Many (2+2) p.m., what the dickens and  we man.

They promised to call back with further updates, stay on premises we man.

At 1 p.m., they called to say that we could leave the property, estimating Many p.m. still man.

We returned to casa, serviced demanding miu, and lay down for a much-needed siesta, groggy we man.

Not Many minutes later, we were texted by an available crew, so much for much-needed siesta man.

We returned to Mama T-B.'s place and waited for arrival, timely they man man.

 

They arrived at half-of-half till Many (2+1) p.m., as promised man.

They super-efficiently shrink-wrapped/tarped the approximate Manyzen items, poetry in motion man.

Two minutes less than an hour later, Mama T-B.'s new room was furnished, mirabile dictu man.

(New place = Many [2+2] miles from old place, proximity helped man.)

 

A half-hour delay occurred before payment, charge $Many00 more than verbal quote man.

Estimator tried to research his notes from Saturday but hadn't taken any, si and no man.

In short, he agreed to honor verbal estimate without harming movers' pay, office absorb things man.

We were very well pleased after the temporary tension, pleased we man.

 

Mama T-B. objected moderately to our choice of what was brought, extra glass-atop-pedestal table man.

We told her that it was to place pictures of Papa T-B., us, and Mini-B. on, thoughtful we man.

Mama T-B. grumbled further but will probably acquiesce when we bring the pictures in, hope we man.

 

We also brought in another heavy bag of dusters and bedsheets, exhausted we man.

 

During this time, our Amazon order of a wheeled clothes-hamper came, timely arrival man.

We assembled it for Mama T-B., completely spent we man.

Our back was on fire and our right leg becoming useless, return of HSM-nuked symptoms man.

 

Mama T-B. then wanted to know what the "clutter" on a shelf was, neat-freak senior she man man.

It was hospice stuff and records from her earlier hospital discharge,   man.

Mama T-B. insisted on closely reviewing each document,   man.

She told us to discard some and to get the rest out of her sight, remove it we man.

We finally returned to the T-B.-mobile and cranked the A/C up to highest, perspirational we man.

We returned to the casa at half-past Many (2+2+1) p.m., long day man.

 

Lengthy miu service immediately occurred, indignant/outraged miu man.

We didn't even watch AFV, anathema on most Sundays man.

We showered and couldn't even reach below our knees, body too stiff man.

LL was begun, our stuff man.

We belatedly discovered that Mini-B. had left most of his clothes behind his bathroom door,  we man.

Din-din was 2 ham-&-cheese sandwiches, ingest we man.

Miu wanted further service, what else could we possibly do man.

 

During this time, ex-Mrs.-T-B. & Mini-B. made it from Guayaquil to Cuenca, short flight man.

 

At nearly Many (2x2x2) p.m., a siesta was attempted, beyond-exhaustion we man.

We couldn't lie on either side, writhe and squirm in pain we man.

Siesta a massive failure,   man.

 

We limped upright, popped a Tylenol, and followed miu downstairs, Serve Me NOW Daddy miu man.

Miu would not clearly communicate her needs, talk People and not Miu please miu man.

It turned out that miu wanted to be thoroughly brushed a second time,   man.

We were probably yelling as we bent down to brush miu, yell we man.

 

Folded LL, fold we man.

Dished the warsher, must de-dish we man.

 

No party with the rubias, no possibly cavort we man.

On Monday, must return Amazon rejects, return we man.

On Monday, must bring pictures to Mama T-B., set on glass tables man.

On Monday, must collect more cardboard boxes, go out for boxing we man.

On Monday, must declutter Mama T-B.'s old casa, far too much there man.

On Monday, must buy Mama T-B. a Roku TV and recruit kindly neighbor to mount it, buy & mount we man.

On Monday, must do 2 more LLs, small but consume-timing man.

Aside from this, nothing else to do except ingest HSM or pursue a body-transplant, pained we man.

And that was/is our thrilling (!!?) Sunday, report we man.

[TBoneTX 47,517]

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man.

-----

Thrilling Monday-on-Tuesday report, see man:

 

Before bedtime, miu kept whining, needy miu man.

Pleas to "talk People, not Miu!" went unheeded, recalcitrant miu man.

We brushed miu a Many'rd time, miu still needy man.

We tossed feather-rollers over her head, energetically chase f-rollers miu man.

We wiggled dangly-wand, energetically attack wand miu man.

We started SmartyKat, energetically attack miu man.

After all this, miu got the zoomies, zoom upstairs & downstairs miu man.

We conclude that miu was massively bored and full of energy, conclude we re miu man.

 

Took major bedtime HSM and hoped, dope-&-hope we man.

Got Many hours of zzz until text-ding awoke us, doze ineffectively thereafter man.

 

Got call from Mama T-B.'s maintenance dude re prospective new TV, call he man we man man.

Good thing we hadn't bought Mama T-B. a new Roku TV yet, si man.

Only device compatible with cable box + single remote = a non-smart TV, dumb TV man.

We spent literally all morning searching for one, ChatGPT utterly useless in this process man.

Found one at Walmart, to be directly delivered on Friday man.

Mama T-B. will continue using loaner TV in the meantime, no problem man.

 

By now, it was half an hour past noon, morning consumed man.

We rushed to Mama T-B.'s old crib before lunch quit serving at 1, just made it man.

We needn't have bothered, see the menu man:

  -- chili soup, OK and ingest we man

  -- Chicken Supreme in cream sauce, blah but ingest we man

  -- Brussels sprouts, #2 on "worst-ever" list behind cilantro but ingest regardless we man

  -- yellow rice, pretty good and ingest we man

  -- sugar-free lemon pudding, OK and ingest we man

What a ghastly lunch but it was free, financially savvy we man.

 

We boxed family fotos of us, Mini-B., Papa T-B., & Papa-&-Mama T-B., take to Mama T-B. man.

We called Mama T-B. for the inevitable needs, knew what was coming we man.

"Bring all the towels & sheets in the casa, si man!" order senior she man of we man man.

We loaded all that we could drag in a bag, what a drag man.

We were sweating before we reached the T-B.-mobile, perspirational we man.

Our right leg/hip was completely gone, ow ow ow OW OW man.

 

Stopped at Walgreens to create recent foto of ourself from phone, frame it right there man.

 

We fortunately borrowed a cart at new place, no two trips needed man.

Started taking fotos out of box, newest one first man.

Mama T-B. said, "That one's not very flattering, no man,"   man.

We started taking other fotos out and putting them on glass tables, decorative we man.

Mama T-B. said, "We're not ready for pictures here yet, no man!"    man.

We said, "They'll keep people from bumping into the tables like you complained about, si man," si man.

Mama T-B. said, "I didn't know that you were bringing those, no man!"   man.

We said, "You left it up to us which furniture to bring, remember man?", si man.

Mama T-B. said, "They don't belong here, no man!", no man.

We said, "You deserve to have pictures here, si man!", si man.

Mama T-B. said, "Put them back in the box and hide the box, si man!"   man.

We (silently):              ,   man.

Mama T-B. observed us limp and said, "If you go down, all is lost, si man," duh and  man.

But does anyone care, huh man?  Apparently not, si to no man.

 

We extricated ourself after half an hour of scribbling other crucial demands, record time man.

These will amount to another half-day of work, sigh man.

Mama T-B. doesn't realize that we have Many (2+1) weeks to fully vacate her old crib, no man.

This would seem to take precedence over calling to cancel a Lively alert-button subscription, si man.

 

Returned to casa, exhausted we man.

Ministered to demanding miu, Feed Me Treat Me Brush Me Daddy miu man.

Siesta'd for an hour, surprisingly effective man.

 

For din-din, took ourself to evening 'za buffet, escape we man.

For $Many, we consumed Many (2x2x2x2 +2+2) -- si man, Many ([2 Manyzen] -2-2) -- 'za slices, ingest we man.

Yet again, this buffet failed in the most typical way possible, si and   man.

Rant, see man:  Any good 'za buffet knows to have Many (2+1) thin-crust 'roni 'zas on the buffet and continuously cooking,   man.

No one wants 'roni with jalapeños, no man.

No one wants fish or shrimp 'za, come ON now man.

No one wants hamburger 'za with olives & 'shrooms, what a waste man.

Kids like 'roni 'za, si man.

Adults like 'roni 'za, si man.

We like 'roni 'za, si man.

'Roni 'za disappears in a flash before any 2 slices of other garbage, reality man.

And that is our rant for this Rant Thread,   we man.

 

After this, we replenished our crucial supply of Powerade Zero grape, replenish we man.

 

We curbsided the garbage while dodging needy miu, Brush Me Again Daddy miu man.

Brushed miu again, rebrush miu man.

 

No party with the rubias, no cavort we man.

On Tuesday, must make Mama T-B.'s crucial calls, nonpriorities man.

Must return recently installed TV, return TV we man.

Must try to get rid of Mama T-B.'s contents, she surely won't let us man.

Must try to sell Mama T-B.'s furniture, no time for this horsepoop man.

Must try to find doctor to shoot us in the hip, can't do anything if no relief man.

And that was/is our thrilling Monday, report we man.

Edited July 8 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 47,517]

Scintillating Tuesday repartee, yawn man.

-------

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man:

 

We had a horrible night, toss turn pain sweat we man.

After caffeination, made a couple of successful phone calls for Mama T-B., successful we man.

Leg/hip still hurting mightily, ow ow ow OW OW man.

 

Intended to go to Mama T-B.'s old place for free lunch, financially savvy we man.

However, it began to monsoon like an illegitimate male child, build another Ark man.

We wanted to collect empty boxes, so we thought better of trying to rush it we man.

 

Lunch was 2 ham-&-cheese sandwiches, ingest we man.

We really, intensely, desperately needed a siesta thereafter but soldiered on, intrepid we man.

Went out for boxing when monsoon seemed to let up, pugilistic we man.

Got a total of Many (2x2x2 +2) from 2 places, successful we man.

 

Went to Mama T-B.'s old place, reappear there we man.

First stop was recycle bins by mailroom, coupon day man.

Found updated BK coupons, not full sheets but enough to get us through man.   

 

Had long phone caucus with Mama T-B. about what to take or not, some clarity man.

Argued about clothes,  man.

Sent her fotos of decorations, remind senior she man we man man.

Agreed about books, start on these we man.

 

Filled Many (2+1) boxes with stuff to pawn for pennies at Half-Price Books, sigh man.

Filled another box with expired phone books, etc., sigh man.

Saw whole shelf with books written or contributed to by Papa T-B., true scholar man.

Saw books with loving inscriptions from pre-Papa T-B. to pre-Mama-T-B., early in marriage man.

We are saving every one of those books, family heirlooms man.

 

Papa T-B. was awesome in every way, miss senior he man intensely for almost 2 Manycades we man man.

He rarely asked anything of us, led by example man.

He did ask one last thing of us, si man.

We promised him that we would take good care of Mama T-B., solemn we man.

Instead, we yell back at her when she yells at us, wrongful we man.

We can't even meet his eyes in the fotos all over Mama T-B.'s old casa, no man.

We need to live up to a higher standard, failure we man.

 

It had been monsooning heavily all afternoon, all Arks long ago flooded or warshed away man.

Naturally, we had parked the T-B.-mobile in an uncovered visitor's space,  man.

Our leg/hip was hurting even worse, lame we man man.

Drove around to covered entrance where receptionist helped us load book boxes, self-unable we man.

 

Drove around complex to Uncle T-B.'s casa, deliver Rx to senior he man we man.

Measured lumpy end-of-life mattress to ensure that Mama T-B.'s can replace it, offered by senior she man.

(Ecu handyman has agreed to perform mattress-swap on Sunday, reliable Ecu man.)

Inspected new Rollator, delivered earlier in day and quite snazzy man.

Uncle T-B. had unboxed and assembled it himself, good at this sort of thing senior he man man.

Extricated ourself within just a very few minutes, rare occurrence man.

 

Din-din was Subway*, takeout on way to casa man.

     *WUOC + gift card, financially savvy we man

Serviced demanding miu, service miu man we man.

 

We are exhausted and can't walk, like la cucaracha we man man.

No party with the rubias tonight, not a prayer of cavorting we man.

Plan to appear at Urgent Care first thing Wednesday, sympathetic doc there man.

Then to Half-Price Books, get paid peanuts for books man.

Miu has dropped a second feather-roller at our feet, expectant miu man.

And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

Edited July 9 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 47,517]

Thrilling Wednesday-on-Thursday report, see man:

 

We awoke at o'dark-Many to be first in line at Urgent Care, inject or prescript we man.

We were first in line, si man.

We were first to enter, si man.

We were first to receive, complete, and submit our paperwork, si man.

We were first to be exam-roomed, si man.

We were triaged, wait for 2 or Many other patients to be seen man.  

 

The doc did sympathize with our predicament, as always she man.

She agreed with our desire not to keep popping prednisone, Major Food Group harms adrenal gland man.

She unfortunately couldn't Rx Tylenol Many (2+1) or any other narcotic,  man.

She did have her nooser shoot us up with a steroid + kill-painer, don't drink beer or we'll leak man.

 

The kill-paining result was immediate,  we man.

We went from there to Half-Price Books, prevented Tuesday by nonstop monsooning man.

We gingerly juggled Many (2+1) boxes on their stupid little cart, inadequate transport man.

About a yard from the door, it began monsooning, partially soaked we man.  

We kept the books dry, box flaps lowered man.

 

HPB took Many ([2 Manyzen] - 2-1) of Mama T-B.'s books, surprising choices man.

This was out of a total of Many (2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2x2 + 2+1) hopefuls, sucks but still almost half man.

They gave us $Many ($2x2x2x2x2 -2) for them, oh gosh golly whoopee we're rich man.

Of course, the heaviest hardbacks were rejected, our fear man.

We fit them all into one box, quite heavy man.

By now, it had quit monsooning, quite surprising man.

We hurt ourself a little re-trunking the heavy box,  and  and  man.

 

Free lunch at Mama T-B.'s casa ended in 2 minutes, couldn't make it man.  

Lunch was at BK*, ingest we man.

     *WUOC, financially savvy we man

 

Went to Mama T-B.'s old casa, return like MacArthur we man.

Up-boxed all her fake terraria, plastic-flowers-in-vases, etc., one heavy box man.

Up-boxed all brass and brass-possible bookends and trinkets, one heav y box man.

Borrowed mail cart from office downstairs, necessity man.

We hurt ourself noticeably in on-carting the boxes,  and  and  man.

We hurt ourself even more in de-carting/trunking the boxes, ow ow ow OW OW man.

 

Went to metal-buying place, hopeful we man.

More than half of what we'd brought was indeed brass, Many (2x2x2 +1) pounds man.

They gave us $Many-&-a-half ($2x2x2 +2+2+1 + half a buck), standard rate man.

 

Went to favorite small thrift shop to donate everything remaining, books non-brass terraria man.

Our amigo the donation chief was on fizzicle restriction, no use left arm he man.

We had to de-trunk all Many (2+1) boxes and balance them on a shopping-cart, no option man.

After this, we estimated that we'd lost half + half-of-half the benefit of the morning injections,  man.

 

Limped like an illegitimate male child to look in thrift store, both actions mandatory man.

Noted that Tuesdays were Everything-Half-Price days,     just missed it man.

Found no dusters for Mama T-B., nothing man.

Found no pants for Uncle T-B., nothing man.

Found tupants in our new waist size with proper length, serendipity man.

One pants was already half-price, marked down man.

Other pants was discounted after we asked, financially savvy we man.

We were quite pleased at our $Many ($2x2x2 +2+1) purchase, self-pleased we man.

 

Found a chair for Mama T-B., no time to send foto before store closing man.

Might go back for it on Thursday, although Wednesday is half-price furniture day man.

 

Stopped at hardware store for more empty boxes, found 2 we man.

 

Returned to casa utterly exhausted and in almost the usual pain, return pained we man.

Serviced demanding miu, service miu we man.

Exhausted din-din was Modified Tuna Glop, ingest we man.

 

Took crucial siesta, unmolested we man.

Felt in better spirits but not in better body, ow ow ow OW OW man.

 

Half an hour before Costco closed, decided to go for a crucial item, decide we man.

Returned with 2 items, disciplined restrained we man.

Stopped at Mama T-B.'s old casa to drop empty boxes and look unsuccessfully for kill-painers, oh well man.

Returned to casa, somehow limped upstairs, and took much-needed shower, wow man.

 

Perhaps we did accomplish stuff today, possibly accomplished we man.

However, we need some Heap-HSM that we don't currently have, pessimistic we man.

 

No party with the rubias, cavorting off the table for we man man.

Various calls, cleaning/packing, and visit to Mama T-B. for Thursday, itinerary we man.

And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.

[TBoneTX 47,517]

Chicken report from Ontarklar now, see and cluck man!

Negligent Ontarklar!  Negligent, NEGLIGENT Ontarklar!

[Ontarkie 14,947]

14 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Chicken report from Ontarklar now, see and cluck man!

Negligent Ontarklar!  Negligent, NEGLIGENT Ontarklar!

Well not much to say about the chickens. They are still laying eggs. I have more eggs in the house then we can eat. The farm stand I used to sell too, burned down in the spring and it does nt look like they will be back. 

[Ban Hammer 14,283]

38 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

Well not much to say about the chickens. They are still laying eggs. I have more eggs in the house then we can eat. The farm stand I used to sell too, burned down in the spring and it does nt look like they will be back. 

maybe you can make a road trip and throw some at a certain monkey.........

[TBoneTX 47,517]

6 hours ago, Ban Hammer said:

maybe you can make a road trip and throw some at a certain monkey.........

Poo is more effective than eggs, si man.   

[TBoneTX 47,517]

Thrilling Thursday report, see man:

 

We set the alarm for Many (2x2x2 -1) hours but awoke after only half that, Bro G. already merrily Walmarting man.

 

As we lay in bed, leg/hip felt good, promising man.

After we arose, leg/hip sucked, unpromising man.

 

Miu was frantic for miu-breakfast, we having sneaked upstairs without serving nightly din-din #2 man.

As we limped downstairs, we encountered something plastic, what could it be man.

Miu had found a cookie in a plastic container in our office and had dragged it to stairway bottom, ravenous miu man.

We serviced miu, mollified miu man.

 

Fed miu miu-lunch before heading for Mama T-B.'s old casa, miu-lesson learned man.

Lunch was vegetable (!!?) lasagna, garlic bread, green salad, and sugar-free yellow muffin*, ingest we man.

     *we didn't and still don't see the point of including this, highly unexciting man

 

We up-boxed more than 2 Manyzen games that Mama T-B. had played with young Mini-B., sigh man.

Found Many (2x2x2x2 +1) more books squirreled away, another trip to Half-Price Books man.  

Found more glass items and large candles, never seen so much stuff stowed away man.  

We obtained a flatbed dolly from downstairs, transport the Many (2+2+1) heavy boxes man.

Loaded them straight into the T-B.-mobile and returned the dolly, sweat like illegitimate male child we man.

 

Went to Half-Price Books first, sell we man.

We were Many'th in line behind sellers who had Many,000 books apiece,   and  we man.

We wanted to wait in order to donate rejects along with other stuff, reason we man.

We off-cooled for nearly an hour, nice break but minutes are precious man.

HPB took Many (2x2x2 +1) books, more than half man.

The payout was $Many ($2+2) + half-of-half a buck, cheap they man.   

At least future buyers will be happy, reason we man.

 

Donated stuff at favorite small thrift shop, second consecutive day man.

Again had to unload stuff ourself, donation guy still fizzically restricted man.

We were sweating like an illegitimate male child and limping lamely, lame we man.

It was as though no meat-tenderizer at all had been injected into us yesterday, all used up man.

Went into store and got pants for Uncle T-B. at half-price, financially savvy we man.

 

Went to hardware store for more boxes, got 2 man.

Cashieresses agreed to publicize the availability of Mama T-B.'s furniture for us, fingers crossed man.

Went to liquor store for more boxes, got Many (2+2+2) man.

 

Headed back to Mama T-B.'s old casa, return like MacArthur we man.

Stopped at Walgreens to retrieve Uncle T-B.'s prescriptions, Many of them man.

Brought boxes upstairs in stages, sweat and ow ow ow OW OW we man.

Returned to T-B.-mobile and called Uncle T-B., call senior he man we man.

Drove around complex and delivered the meds, appreciative senior he man man.

Gave Uncle T-B. new pants, thrilled senior he man.

 

Uncle T-B. genuinely pained at situation faced by Mama T-B., loving brother he man.

Uncle T-B. served us a canned Dr Pepper, thirstily ingest and hose glucose/A1c we man.

Reminded him that Urbano the Ecu would help to bring Mama T-B.'s mattress on Sunday, deliver he man.

 

Din-din was from Subway**, ingest in Mama T-B.'s old unit we man.

     **bought WUOC + gift card, financially savvy we man

Just then, Mama T-B. texted to learn whether we were appearing today, text senior she man we man.

She needed a voided check to begin autopay of new-place expenses, plus other stuff man.

We arrived, abided her grousing, and folded all her linens to her precise specifications,   man.

Mama T-B. criticized our time-management, we'll see how it turns out man.

 

Returned to casa after Many-&-a-half hours (2x2x2 + half an hour) out, long day man.

Rather restrained miu demanded soft din-din, kibble, treats, and attention, ignored bored miu man.

Took shower, highly necessary man.

Contemplated siesta but got calls from Aunt T-B. & Mama T-B., yak yak yak YAK YAK man.

 

Arranged with Jesús the Lawn Texican to do our yardwork this weekend, practicality overcomes cheapness man.

 

Heard back from regular doctor, on vacation he man.

He appears willing to Rx us Tylenol Many (2+1) or something similarly helpful, a boon if so man.

He wants to shoot our hip joint with meat-tenderizer when he returns, whee and glee man.   

However, it won't be till next week, no man.

What a great birthday present steroids should be, Major Food Group man.   

 

No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man.

We have itineraried 2 ESs for Friday, probably attend only one we man.

We intend to tackle Mama T-B.'s purses & shoes on Friday, offensively tackle we man.

We'll probably also return many stockpiled items to Walmart, find carefully filed receipts*** for them first man.

     *** Mama T-B. files every receipt in a monthly envelope,   man

And that was/is our thrilling Thursday, report we man.

[Ban Hammer 14,283]

7 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Poo is more effective than eggs, si man.   

i'm willing to bet eggs are more aerodynamic.

[Neonred 3,917]

7 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Thrilling Thursday report, see man:

 

We set the alarm for Many (2x2x2 -1) hours but awoke after only half that, Bro G. already merrily Walmarting man.

 

 

Didn't go Walmarting yesterday.  That's always saved for Fridays and some other weekend day.  Had to work a few days this week after spending an extended holiday in the Keys.  In fact, I was a little late leaving the house today to get there.  It was (2x2+2)  plus many minutes before I left the house.  I was very efficient with shopping as my list was in order of my route thru the store... speed shopping!  A cart full and self checkout and home in 1 hour.  Everything is put away and the kitchen cleaned up laundry started and coffee made.  Wife is still asleep.  This is when she is at her best, and when I love her the most.😆  Now time to catch up on TBone's adventures.

 

Was thinking about all that TBone is going thru and concluded that since there is no other woman in his life, it would be much simpler to have his mother move in with him.

 

LOL

 

I'm still hoping for the return of ex-Mrs TBone.  

 

Had a productive holiday in the Keys.  Had two other couples come down for our annual 4th celebration there.  It was apparent we all are getting older.  Not nearly as much alcohol consumed as in years past, at least not so much by me.  Even our Russian friends didn't get falling down drunk this time.

 

My wife has been full of surprises lately.  For years she was not excited about going to the Keys but did it to please me.  The last several times we were there she said she slept much better there and really didn't want to go home.  She generally didn't like going out in the sun for swimming or hanging out at the sand bar, but she now has a burkini (I never knew it was a thing) and is fine with going out now.  I often suggested we need a larger boat to accommodate us and our friends but she always told me we would NEVER get another boat.  This past week as we were hanging out at the sand bar she spotted a large tritoon boat that she absolutely loved.  It's a living room on the water.  She says we need to get it. 

I don't even know who this woman is anymore.