Making friends

[Yaads 0]

Well I finally got through this post and must say that I agree totally and I too am the USC. I don't have any friends at the present moment. No one to call for coffee or go catch a movie with. My hubby is my best friend but he only cares to hear about fashion, celebrities, the latest tv shows and why my co-workers suck for a short amount of time and then I have lost him It is true that sometimes you just need a woman to relate to. I am close to my family but the hubby isn't really so that makes for some tough times

Anyways just wanted to pop in and share the same sentiments. America is a hard place to make REAL friends...especially when you are already out of school as it seems most people run in groups that were formed in highschool or college.

Keep the faith everyone! I hope you all can find a great confidant someday...myself included.

Oh yeah I also think that by living in a small town it really affects how to make friends. I live in a town 2 hours north of Seattle...not much diversity and if you aren't into the bar scene or country music around here than you are pretty much SOL.

[jg_am 0]

I've read this thread off and on and I'm glad it's here. My wife is the Canadian and she's gets lonely. Not being able to work and the nature of our current housing(apartment) make it hard for her to meet people. Folks from my church have reached out to her, but it's still not the same as having a good pal to open up to. She has good days and bad days...mostly bad days lately since she's really sick with pregnancy and can't even get out of the house.

[Toshtishtash 1]

I have seen this thread but have never actually read it!

I'm not actually there full time yet! But this subject worries me a little bit too.... I have friends in America already... 3 or 4 very good ones. The only thing being, they are quite alot older than me... Which is fine for the most part. But I do want to meet people my own age too as sometimes the friends that I have now aren't particularly into what I am, like my friends here in England are.

So... Anyone close to the Hagerstown area of Maryland fancy getting together when I get there?

Edited July 26, 2007 by toshtishtash

[Cécy 44]

Sometimes it makes me want to do two things:

1) Start some sort of community of people from my country in the area. Of course I know there aren't many Frenchies around here...

There are groups of that sort that exist but it's usually in big cities only. In my case there is the Alliance Française, but it's in Charlotte, 2 hours away >.<

My godparent's (my godfather grew up in France) was part of a French community and made some life long friends with some (others were well... too snoob), and I kind of hope to be able to do that.

I don't expect to become friend with anyone from my country, but just the feeling of sharing the same experience, similar backgrounds and all, it seems like it would help. Add to it that we plan to have children someday and I wish for them to grow up in a bi-lingual and bi-cultural atmosphere.

2) In the Forum, additionally to the Regional Discussion that go country by country, I think it would be nice to have a state by state one for those who wish to meet others who come from foreign countries and live in their area.

I've been here for close to a year and without a job or the knowledge I could volunteer... Thankfully my now husband has family around, but still, I think without Internet I would go nuts. I don't make real friends very easily, it takes me time. And the people I meet are friends of my husband... I don't feel as close to them as he does. They're only my "friends" because of him and they never ask me out or offer to do something together.

I do miss a good girlfriend too, the one with whom you can go and shop, have fun trying clothes and not have to worry about what they will think. Because let's be honest, we're also in a country where the way you look and act is scrutinized and judge by people, at least it's how it feels to me.

Oh well, I know it will take time. Hopefully getting a job & volunteering will help, and I'm going to try to figure out where else I can meet people my age...

Edited July 26, 2007 by Cécy

[germangel 0]

I know what you mean, I feel like I wanna set up a group, get together with other people, not even necessarily from my own country but any other country, who can understand how strange and different this all is. People here don't get that.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Because let's be honest, we're also in a country where the way you look and act is scrutinized and judge by people, at least it's how it feels to me.

Er, that would be any country on the planet. When you are a foreigner, you are the represenative of your country and culture. Natives watch you more closely, just how it is no matter where you go. I lived in Germany for three years (non-military). I was acutely aware of the above.

[Mrs.J06 4]

Because let's be honest, we're also in a country where the way you look and act is scrutinized and judge by people, at least it's how it feels to me.

Er, that would be any country on the planet. When you are a foreigner, you are the represenative of your country and culture. Natives watch you more closely, just how it is no matter where you go. I lived in Germany for three years (non-military). I was acutely aware of the above.

I agree.

Being a foreigner helps starting a conversation, I think. People are naturally curious and ask questions about the foreigner's home country, and I usually seize that chance to ask my own questions in return.

However, I find it hard to get behind this initial interest of people, and into a "deeper" level of conversation. That is very different in different cultures and languages, and I havent' quite figured out the American Way of it.

I find it easier to connect with people who are used to dealing with other foreigners. It's even easier to connect with somebody who has lived in a foreign country, too. These people ask very different questions than the ones that have never left the US! Not too many of that species around where I live, though...

[nane1104 146]

I think you can definitley use your "foreigner" status to your advantage, but it needs open minded people to do so.

My husband is in the AirForce, that's where I found most of the people I am talking to presently, slowly making friends.

Usually, they are open minded and curious about Germany or me being german, they ask how I am doing and how I am adjusting being in the US now.

Just that makes me happy because often enough I run into people who are pretty ignorant to the fact that I actually had a life (and a good one) in my homecountry. Worst cases are, when people ask if I am happy to be here now (for materialistic reasons, or "opportunities" I have here).

The only reason why I am here is my husband. Otherwise I'd be a happy little woman living and working in Germany.

But yes, it is difficult to find friends here, friends like I had them in Germany. And sometimes I wonder if I have to change my definition of "friends"...

[germangel 0]

The only reason why I am here is my husband. Otherwise I'd be a happy little woman living and working in Germany.

But yes, it is difficult to find friends here, friends like I had them in Germany. And sometimes I wonder if I have to change my definition of "friends"...

Same here, if it wasn't for my hubbie, I never would have thought about moving to the US of all places. I don't think I can change my definition of "Friends" just yet. As far as I'm concerned, most of them are aquaintances or co-workers, and I talk about them as this. I don't call them my friends...they of course think it's weird.

[Jashley820 0]

The only reason why I am here is my husband. Otherwise I'd be a happy little woman living and working in Germany.

But yes, it is difficult to find friends here, friends like I had them in Germany. And sometimes I wonder if I have to change my definition of "friends"...

Same here, if it wasn't for my hubbie, I never would have thought about moving to the US of all places. I don't think I can change my definition of "Friends" just yet. As far as I'm concerned, most of them are aquaintances or co-workers, and I talk about them as this. I don't call them my friends...they of course think it's weird.

Hey you guys! I found a really cool website last night called www.meetup.com. It's comprised of people who just want to meet new people and get out and do new/fun activities. There's a specific Meetup page for each major city in the U.S.

For example, I joined 3 meetup networks. 1) A book club that meets once per week; 2) A group of Canadian Expats; and 3) A group of people who have just moved to Cincinnati. It's free, and once you sign up, you will be notified by e-mail when there is a new event happening with that group. Events are scheduled by someone in the group- normally the group leader/starter. You must RSVP to the events, so it's harder to bail on them at the last minute because you're nervous .

Each person has an opportunity to put a small profile on there, just speaking about why they want to join the group ("I want to meet new people...."). So, you can see who's also in your group and kind of get to know them a bit.

It's cool!! I hope you guys go onto the site and check it out- definitely a chance to meet some people in the SAME situation as us!

I also signed up for volunteering with the Komen Breast Cancer foundation, Arthritis foundation, and Leukemia & Lymphoma society. I also signed up for a book club at the Library!!

Best of luck to you guys & gals!

[KaiserD 12]

Hey you guys! I found a really cool website last night called www.meetup.com

Funny you should mention that I found it a week ago, I was looking for group meetups for backpacking because I'm too scared (and will be a beginner) to go on my own, so gonna sign up next year.

I never looked into it well enough (I don't know why, just didn't cross my mind) to look up other activities as well, so thanks for reminding me about it