Making friends

[germangel 0]

hi everyone,

I just wanted to see how most of you make new friends here in the US.

I am a very outgoing person, and have "friends" at work, and of course my hubbie's friends.

But what I miss is a really good friend to hang out with, talk with, share stories with and all that.

I had very great friends at home, and never had problems meeting new people.

Is it just the different mentality here? I am having a really hard time building a serious friendship

[sereia 0]

its tough. i moved to NYC not knowing a single person. but i ended up having a nice amount of friends after a while! i would suggest myspace.com, meetup.com, etc, or any other kind of board that interests you where you can meet like-minded people to hang out with. i've met a lot of people from the internet (funny i didn't meet my fiance here) and have made some great friends!

also you could take a class. even if you are already a graduate, sign up for something fun. you can always meet someone there.

volunteer somewhere.

join a gym.

donate money to charities and go to the parties they sometimes invite you to.

those are all good ways to meet friends!

[Mammimaus2007 0]

I mostly met my friends thru work too and was invited over or they came to our house BUT it was not like back in germany

Some also use the church to meet some new people and friends or like mentioned before met alot of really nice people on MYSPACE.com

Try if you find some german people in your location, thats what I did and was suprised how many I found

[Mrs.J06 4]

Oooh, that's exactly how I feel, too.

I have a very nice colleague, who is about the only person I can hang out with every once in a while. I tried going to the gym, but everybody just listens to their ipod and nobody talks. I go to the monthly German language meetup groups, but so far no friendships have developed outside of the meetings. I went to a couple of community education classes and everybody is really friendly during the classes, but afterwards everybody heads home. Right now I'm out of ideas where else I could try.

I've heard many "we must meet again" and "why don't you just stop by our place one day" comments, but I know that's not what people really mean.

My husband has only one real friend, so my life is really lonely so far...

[germangel 0]

I already take classes in college, but it seems to be that most people are so self-involved, they aren't interested in meeting new people. I have no problem finding aquaintances, it's the real friendships that just don't happen.

[GabachaYucateca 0]

You know, I'm the USC and I have the same problem.

I lived in Mexico for 5 years and then moved back to the area I'm originally from. Most everyone had moved awat except for one friend from school. I've found it REALLY hard to connect to new people and make new friendships, which depresses the heck out of me. Having been away from Rhode Island for so long and coming back it really strikes me how looooong these connections are. Most people's circles are of co-workers or people that they've known for years. People are very settled.

It took some time for me to make friends in Mexico as well, and I often felt lonely, but then as I was preparing to leave, I looked around and realized what a phenomenal network of fun, good people I had around me. It built up very slowly, but it did build up. Possibly because the people I knew were more transient and open to forming new relationships.

I'd like to move to another part of the country, but I'm afraid that I'll find the same difficulties with connecting with people.

[kittykatwoman 0]

I didn't manage to make new friends since I moved. Maybe because of my lifestyle or because i don't really have anything to say.

I miss having a good friend to hang out with

[nora &ryan 0]

Hi ….. this Nora

Are you Rhode island now…… if you are please don’t move I’m coming there soon….. a few month I hope … we can be friends if you like …..I’m from UK…. And my finace is in the navy I know how It would be because he will work day and night ….

So what do you think

You know, I'm the USC and I have the same problem.

I lived in Mexico for 5 years and then moved back to the area I'm originally from. Most everyone had moved awat except for one friend from school. I've found it REALLY hard to connect to new people and make new friendships, which depresses the heck out of me. Having been away from Rhode Island for so long and coming back it really strikes me how looooong these connections are. Most people's circles are of co-workers or people that they've known for years. People are very settled.

It took some time for me to make friends in Mexico as well, and I often felt lonely, but then as I was preparing to leave, I looked around and realized what a phenomenal network of fun, good people I had around me. It built up very slowly, but it did build up. Possibly because the people I knew were more transient and open to forming new relationships.

I'd like to move to another part of the country, but I'm afraid that I'll find the same difficulties with connecting with people.

[germangel 0]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. It is really true that people seem happy with the friends they've got and don't want to expand their circle. People at work would be my "friends" I guess, but outside of work I don't really hang out with them.

[youngdaddy 0]

i feel the same way.. my dad is american and my mom is from the philippines. we grew up in the philippines so my heart lives there. and when i get here i was like wat the hell is wrong with these people. im so glad i grew up in the philippines because i am the friendliest person i am now. and i dont understand why its hard to make friends here in USA. i miss manila. i miss my normal friends. i have a work here but we all head home after work. sucks!

[kittykatwoman 0]

I don't if you guys feel the same but I really don't have anything to say to the people I meet here. I mean after the generalities and the small talk I feel like I have nothing to say.

[Mrs.J06 4]

I don't if you guys feel the same but I really don't have anything to say to the people I meet here. I mean after the generalities and the small talk I feel like I have nothing to say.

I think that's partially because we don't have the same background. People are usually very friendly and interested, asking me about how certain things are in Germany, but then... since they don't know how things are in our home countries they can't ask for the "normal" things they would ask an American they just met.

Sometimes people feel they are being "nosy" if they ask to much, even though I like to answer questions about my home country. So eventually the conversion ends because of lack of common ground.

My 2c...

[giraffemd 0]

Wow...I thought I was the only one that had this issue here. I work, go to the gym, have a horse at a stable with lots of other horsie people, and generally have no problem with the aquaintances part of it...but I have been here for 16 months and I really miss my real girlie friends back home...I just don't have that connection with anyone here, and that is what I miss the most.....I just have no clue how to make that happen.....I guess it takes more time, but I miss just calling someone and meeting for coffee, etc, and talking about life.....

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

My husband has the same problem. He's taking English classes at a community college, and I thought he'd make a ton of friends there. But it seems everyone is kinda closed in, they take the class and bounce off home, no one wants to talk. It surprises me because he's very very outgoing. I thought about him signing up at a gym to make some "guy" friends there. But now that I read about the ipod issue, I think its true, people do their own thing and dont mingle.

He misses his friends and can't understand why people in the US are "so different" He's open & inviting and thought everyone else would be too.

[germangel 0]

That's exactly what I meant. It seems that noone is interested in making new friends around here