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Piano Man

Red Flags - CR1

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I've been communicating with a lady that I'm interested in from HCMC and plan to fly out to see her for the first time once the 14 day quarantine requirement is relaxed.  I was introduced by a Vietnamese friend of mine.  They're cousins.  I've been reading and have identified that being introduced by a family member is a red flag.  How can this red flag be overcome?

 

What are some other red flags and approximately what rank order?  Here are some examples that I can think of.

 

1.  Getting married on the 1st or 2nd visit.

2.  Beneficiary doesn't speak English

3.  Large age gap

4.  Belonging to the Communist party

5.  Holding a job position in the Communist party

 

 

 

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Don't plan anything too far, meet her first and go from there. A lot of "tales of the green card" happen so don't rush anything. Good luck.

N400

12/06/2014: Package filed

12/31/2014: Fingerprinted

02/06/2015: In-Line for Interview

04/15/2015: Passed Interview

05/05/2015: Oath letter was sent

05/22/2015: Oath Ceremony

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
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Your list is reasonable but you haven't even met her yet.  Why don't you see what she is like before getting ahead of yourself?  How many of your list does this situation tick?

#1 shouldn't even be a consideration

#2 is a non-starter for me.

#3 isn't as much of a worry, unless it's tied to #1 and or #2.  My wife is 23 years younger than me.

I can't say about #4 or #5 from exeperience but if they are also in there it could be enough to push an OK approval to a denial.

 

If it's 3 or more on your list you should just visit and see what is here.  There's millions of women here that don't have that baggage.

Edited by Stein
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I would not plan on the 14-day quarantine requirement being relaxed anytime soon. The Vietnam government is saying that any country they are thinking of allowing tourists in from has to go 30 days without a new case. May take awhile for the US to meet that. So spend lots of time chatting and keeping records of everything. Good Luck

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On 6/21/2020 at 6:19 PM, Piano Man said:

I've been communicating with a lady that I'm interested in from HCMC and plan to fly out to see her for the first time once the 14 day quarantine requirement is relaxed.  I was introduced by a Vietnamese friend of mine.  They're cousins.  I've been reading and have identified that being introduced by a family member is a red flag.  How can this red flag be overcome?

 

What are some other red flags and approximately what rank order?  Here are some examples that I can think of.

 

1.  Getting married on the 1st or 2nd visit.

2.  Beneficiary doesn't speak English

3.  Large age gap

4.  Belonging to the Communist party

5.  Holding a job position in the Communist party

 

 

 

1.  Getting married on the 1st visit is a red flag.  Lots of people who have fake marriages for green cards get marry early on because money has to change hands upon certain events happening.  They're also in a rush to get to America.  You met through a cousin, so the US Consulate is going to be suspicious that this could be an arranged green card marriage especially since the bride to be doesn't speak English and you don't speak Vietnamese.

2.  The US Consulate is gonna wanna see a bona fide relationship.  How do you have a real loving relationship with someone when you can't communicate with?  This is assuming you do not speak Vietnamese. 

3.  Not a problem.  Lots of older foreigners marry young women.

4.  Not an absolute deal killer.  See 5.
5.  Could be a deal killer depending on her position.  From real experience, I know of people who could not get immigration visas because of their positions in the Communist Party.  Cold War laws are still on the books and still enforced.

Edited by aaron2020
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On 6/26/2020 at 7:26 PM, aaron2020 said:

1.  Getting married on the 1st visit is a red flag.  Lots of people who have fake marriages for green cards get marry early on because money has to change hands upon certain events happening.  They're also in a rush to get to America.  You met through a cousin, so the US Consulate is going to be suspicious that this could be an arranged green card marriage especially since the bride to be doesn't speak English and you don't speak Vietnamese.

2.  The US Consulate is gonna wanna see a bona fide relationship.  How do you have a real loving relationship with someone when you can't communicate with?  This is assuming you do not speak Vietnamese. 

3.  Not a problem.  Lots of older foreigners marry young women.

4.  Not an absolute deal killer.  See 5.
5.  Could be a deal killer depending on her position.  From real experience, I know of people who could not get immigration visas because of their positions in the Communist Party.  Cold War laws are still on the books and still enforced.

Spot on, #4 and #5.  I have  experience navigating through these issues.  I used an attorney (based in Thailand) who had a lot of experience and I still spent a lot of time and effort on the process.  There are exceptions to the rule, so you need to be well versed in the law.  Ultimately we were successful (my wife has been in the US for six years now) but it took 18 months from start to finish.  I also made four or five trips to Vietnam, including her interview (they questioned me).  From the consulate the visa application goes to a special office in the DoS in Washington, where it will undergo additional review (a true black box).  If you want the name of the attorney send me a DM and I'll provide.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
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On 6/22/2020 at 10:26 AM, Stein said:

Your list is reasonable but you haven't even met her yet.  Why don't you see what she is like before getting ahead of yourself?  How many of your list does this situation tick?

#1 shouldn't even be a consideration

#2 is a non-starter for me.

#3 isn't as much of a worry, unless it's tied to #1 and or #2.  My wife is 23 years younger than me.

I can't say about #4 or #5 from exeperience but if they are also in there it could be enough to push an OK approval to a denial.

 

If it's 3 or more on your list you should just visit and see what is here.  There's millions of women here that don't have that baggage.

When i see these threads they bring back fears Stein lol. Me and my wife are still in USCIS stage. 

1 and 2 could be a problem for us. We married in Oct 2018 on my second trip 7 months after the first trip. 

I can't change the past now but she was very adamant on an elder that her mother chose to choose our date. 

Everything went well. Big wedding too. 

What sucks is the Covid has blocked my ability to visit. At this stage I'm not sure i will be able to go to interview. 

 

She is currently in English classes and is getting better but she is 50/50 on language. If i speak to fast i have to repeat some things. She has a degree and works so i hope that helps. I actually think communicating is not hard especially with modern tools such as text and video. 

She is a wonderful girl though and i hope it isn't to bumpy for us. Being able to visit soon would be great. 

 

These reality check threads are good to keep us focused. 

 

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1 hour ago, stringpuller said:

 

1 and 2 could be a problem for us. We married in Oct 2018 on my second trip 7 months after the first trip. 

I can't change the past now but she was very adamant on an elder that her mother chose to choose our date. 

Everything went well. Big wedding too. 

What sucks is the Covid has blocked my ability to visit. At this stage I'm not sure i will be able to go to interview. 

 

She is currently in English classes and is getting better but she is 50/50 on language.

 

You will be fine.  Already married two years by the time you interview.

 

My wife's mom had the reading from the "chicken bone lady" in hometown. (That's what I call her.)  Since it was before TET and we couldn't marry until after late February since I had to wait for my divorce to be six months since the final decree she said she couldn't "see" next year.  It was ridiculous enough that my wife didn't put any stock in the "chicken bone lady" any longer and we just picked our own date.  Her mom was worried for a bit but got over it.  But I see her mom and dad at least once a month and take care of them so I'm like a son now.  

 

She can interview in Vietnamese.  Not a problem.  Actually she can start in English if she wants to and then switch to Vietnamese later.  It shows that she is learning and that you can communicate.  One of the things they ask is if you can't speak the other person's language how do you communicate.  Just don't let her start in English and then force herself to stick with it to prove a  point and misunderstand something and say the wrong thing.  If she is shaky on English let her start the conversation in English so they know she has some experience and then ask to interview in Vietnamese.

 

Because you haven't been here in a while it would likely slam dunk it if you could attend.  If you are still NOA1 you are probably 8 months out so a lot can change between now and then, COVID-wise.  But right now Vietnam still has a ban on foreigners.

Edited by Stein
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4 minutes ago, Stein said:

You will be fine.  Already married two years by the time you interview.

 

My wife's mom had the reading from the "chicken bone lady" in hometown. (That's what I call her.)  Since it was before TET and we couldn't marry until after late February since I had to wait for my divorce to be six months since the final decree she said she couldn't "see" next year.  It was ridiculous enough that my wife didn't put any stock in the "chicken bone lady" any longer and we just picked our own date.  Her mom was worried for a bit but got over it.  But I see her mom and dad at least once a month and take care of them so I'm like a son now.  

 

She can interview in Vietnamese.  Not a problem.  Actually she can start in English if she wants to and then switch to Vietnamese later.  It shows that she is learning and that you can communicate.  One of the things they ask is if you can't speak the other person's language how do you communicate.  Just don't let her start in English and then force herself to stick with it to prove a  point and misunderstand something and say the wrong thing.  If she is shaky on English let her start the conversation in English so they know she has some experience and then ask to interview in Vietnamese.

 

Because you haven't been here in a while it would likely slam dunk it if you could attend.  If you are still NOA1 you are probably 8 months out so a lot can change between now and then, COVID-wise.  But right now Vietnam still has a ban on foreigners.

Lol@chicken bone lady. Lucky you my wife is all about it. She even said that if we can't do the chicken bone ladies date mother would make us wait another year. Lol

Thanks for the tips i will remember these pointers. Ill make a note. I sure do hope you are right about travel. I want to be there for the interview if possible. 

I do miss some of the soups. And the fruit smoothies are amazing. 

 

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Just now, stringpuller said:

Lol@chicken bone lady. Lucky you my wife is all about it. She even said that if we can't do the chicken bone ladies date mother would make us wait another year. Lol

Thanks for the tips i will remember these pointers. Ill make a note. I sure do hope you are right about travel. I want to be there for the interview if possible. 

I do miss some of the soups. And the fruit smoothies are amazing. 

 

It's tough for you since you aren't here.  I moved here January 2019 and married April 2019 so I have had a lot of time to show her how a lot of their superstitions are just that.  I have been told:

 

She can't hand me a toothpick becuase if she does we will argue all day.

If I take a shower before bed and go to sleep with my hair wet I will die. (reallly!)

They burn fake money at TET to give money to the deceased.

I can't stroke her belly becuase it will give her "belly pain".

 

And so on.  I have since convinced her of the silly nature of some of these superstitions.

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25 minutes ago, Stein said:

It's tough for you since you aren't here.  I moved here January 2019 and married April 2019 so I have had a lot of time to show her how a lot of their superstitions are just that.  I have been told:

 

She can't hand me a toothpick becuase if she does we will argue all day.

If I take a shower before bed and go to sleep with my hair wet I will die. (reallly!)

They burn fake money at TET to give money to the deceased.

I can't stroke her belly becuase it will give her "belly pain".

 

And so on.  I have since convinced her of the silly nature of some of these superstitions.

I can believe the shower one! 

The burning money part i heard of. Her being a buddhist has been a learning experience. I went to take a photo in the temple of the buddha and she punched my arm and said no pictures! and i about dropped my phone hahaha

Was hilarious. 

 

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