future spouse question

[Kyleb 1]

I have a question that concerns me. I am seeing a woman from Columbia and she has 2 children by separate fathers. She is a super sweet woman and is very honest with me. She has never been married before. We have been seeing each other for almost 2 years now. I want to marry this woman but one of my friends brought up a very interesting question. My friend told me his best friend married a woman from Columbia that has a daughter. When they go engaged and filed for a fiancé visa she had to get a paper signed from the ex boyfriend for permission I guess for her to leave the country with their daughter. The boyfriend had nothing to do with the daughter but I guess this is the normal process? Anyways when she met with her ex boyfriend to get this paper signed he said he would sign it but he would need $5000 US dollars to do so. Is this common and has anyone ever been through this? Thank you 

[Just Paul 4,591]

Unless the mother has sole legal custody of a child you or your spouse are going to have to deal with the father(s).

[geowrian 22,335]

22 minutes ago, Kyleb said:

Anyways when she met with her ex boyfriend to get this paper signed he said he would sign it but he would need $5000 US dollars to do so.

He needs a pen. The $5,000 is for personal use.

 

You will either need the father's permission or a court order for the child to immigrate (Edit: or sole custody, depending on local laws). Local laws apply (i.e. in Philippines a child born out of wedlock is the sole custody of the mother).

Edited June 30, 2019 by geowrian

[USN_MSC 16]

Unfortunately, I have heard of this in Colombia - deadbeat father learns baby mama is going to the US of A and sees $$$$ attached to his autograph....for a child he likely didn't want anything to do with....

[Ryan H 3,790]

Moved from What Visa Do I Need - Family Based Immigration forum to Mexico, Latin & South America regional forum.

[Boiler 43,433]

Cost of doing business.

[Kyleb 1]

Thanks for the feedback. Is there a paper that my lady can get signed up front even before we are married?

[Co2EEUU 0]

If the fathers' names are not on the birth certificates, they can't do anything to prevent the child leaving.  If they are on the paperwork, you can either get their signature (at their price), go to court and get a court order, or follow the process to serve notice about the child, and if they never respond, you take the evidence that the father could not be located to court.

 

If a father is on the paperwork and they father is NOT supporting the child, go pay a Colombian lawyer to serve notice to that father that they now have to start paying child support.  You'll probably be amazed how quickly they sign the permission to leave the country.

[Kyleb 1]

Co2EEUU,

 

Super thanks for the information. That is great advice. I will talk to my lady and get her thoughts, but I like that last option. I didn't know you could do this in Columbia. 

[Kyleb 1]

Co2EEUU,

 

I have a question. How if at all would this be enforced if you do serve the ex dead beat if they don't cooperate?

[Co2EEUU 0]

My understanding is that failure to cooperate with a Colombian court order for child support can result in jail time.  Colombian jails are not known for their luxury.  I'm not saying its a quick process, but if the deadbeat knows there is a Gringo with gringo money (whatever that is in reality, its irrelevant - perception is reality) they know that the lawyers can make their lives hell.

First thing is to make sure the father signed on each birth certificate.  IF they didn't, you just show up to the airport with the birth certificate that has no father's name, they'll scrutinize the ####### out of it, and then send you on your way.

If they are on the birth certificate, and they continue not to cooperate, it can be a long drawn out process, especially depending on where the father lives.  However, if the father is a deadbeat, and even if he starts out asking for $5,000, remember that everything is negotiable.  He wants money more than he wants the child.  He doesn't want to be bothered by a gringo.  Just make sure you phrase everything so it doesn't seem threatening.  Nobody faces a threat like a Colombian.

Tell him "I understand that getting the signature will take some of your time and effort, and I'll pay you for your work..."  Now its a negotiation for his work, not for the child.

If he just won't budge, get a lawyer and let the lawyer play hardball. 

[Boiler 43,433]

My understanding is that there are Fathers, plural.

 

So the principle is the same but the situations for each may be different.

 

 

[geowrian 22,335]

4 hours ago, Co2EEUU said:

just show up to the airport with the birth certificate that has no father's name, they'll scrutinize the ####### out of it, and then send you on your way.

That's assuming the US will issue the visa without any document granting permission or a court order. The CO is almost certainly going to ask about the father before issuing the visa.

[Boiler 43,433]

Agree, not something they will ignore.

[Co2EEUU 0]

59 minutes ago, geowrian said:

That's assuming the US will issue the visa without any document granting permission or a court order. The CO is almost certainly going to ask about the father before issuing the visa.

It may sound odd, but the U.S. has no interest in whether the father gives authorization for a child to leave.  The Visa is for ENTRY to the U.S., not EXIT from the country of origin.  The only time this would come up is if the child later petitions for a father for a visa, and the father was not listed. 

What could happen is the visa is issued and then the child cannot leave the country.  However, if that happened, then you could always look into crossing into a third country first where it isn't as well supervised (there are border crossings into Ecuador, for instance) and then leave from Ecuador to the U.S.

There is nothing in the Visa issuance process where a Colombian parent has to give permission to issue the visa.  The Colombian parents have nothing to do with the U.S. Embassy's jurisdiction.