SLEC Medical Exam "Secret" information to my child. [Philippines]

[RhineMaiden 23]

Hi all! I am a US LPR, I petitioned my 14 y.o. daughter that is still in the Philippines (lives with my parents). Her interview date is approaching and she just finished and passed the St. Lukes/SLEC part yesterday. My  mother (also my daughter's legal guardian) and I were in touch on messenger the entire time during the SLEC process, by the time the physical exam was about to begin (where a person would fully undress to be checked a physician), the doctor asked my mother to step out of the room for a few minutes and requested to talk to my daughter alone, she was called back in during the actual physical exam. When it was done and they headed out, my mother simply asked  my daughter what is that stepping-out-of-the-room was all about, to where my daughter replied "According to the doctor, I should not disclose the information". 

 

I went through the SLEC process myself during my CR1 a few years back, but I can't recall at all being told of any sort of classified information. So in my daughter's case, neither I nor my Mom bothered to squeeze it out, we just let it be, and by that, I could say my daughter will genuinely retain her honesty and "innocence" in case whatever this "secret" information is most probably only and only for the consul/embassy purposes. I won't risk staining the fact.

 

Sooo ... what is going on? Is anyone familiar with whatever this is? Anyone went through with something similar at SLEC? Please enlighten me.

[Ontarkie 13,920]

~~Moved to the PI forum, from Bringing Family of PR - The OP is asking about the medical and this can be country specific.~~

 

 

mod hat off

This has me very curious. In Canada and the US unless the child is 18 a doctor cannot ask the parent to leave or withhold medical information from a parent. When we went through the medical all my kids where examined in the same room while I was present. They were just briefly looked over, no undressing and then I was asked about their medical history. 

 

I hope you can figure out what is going on and if this was even legal to begin with. I am very concerned about your daughter not saying what happened. 

[RhineMaiden 23]

2 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

~~Moved to the PI forum, from Bringing Family of PR - The OP is asking about the medical and this can be country specific.~~

 

 

mod hat off

This has me very curious. In Canada and the US unless the child is 18 a doctor cannot ask the parent to leave or withhold medical information from a parent. When we went through the medical all my kids where examined in the same room while I was present. They were just briefly looked over, no undressing and then I was asked about their medical history. 

 

I hope you can figure out what is going on and if this was even legal to begin with. I am very concerned about your daughter not saying what happened. 

Thank you for your reply. Indeed! I'm not gonna lie and say this doesn't bother me, because it does. My daughter took a photo of the building and the sign clearly reads "SLEC" and not CIA. It really doesn't make sense why they would tell the legal guardian (my mother) to get out while they "share something secret" to my 14 year old when all along, the entire time, my mother went in and out with my daughter on every room, every doctor, every test, everything up until to that point .... so now I'm just confused but I really am trying to not stick my nose into it, at least not just yet in fear of jeopardizing her chances of visa approval.

[Ontarkie 13,920]

Completely understandable.

I tend to worry about everything and don't like the idea that a doctor told her to keep a secret. I don't know how you haven't called the clinic freaking out, a doctor keeping secrets from a parent is not smart. 

 

I hope someone familiar with them can help calm our fears. 

[RhineMaiden 23]

2 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

Completely understandable.

I tend to worry about everything and don't like the idea that a doctor told her to keep a secret. I don't know how you haven't called the clinic freaking out, a doctor keeping secrets from a parent is not smart. 

 

I hope someone familiar with them can help calm our fears. 

I absolutely thought about it, but then it also came to me that it IS SLEC, a center where they process hundreds if not at least close to a thousand applicants a day and for a sad fact that a lot of Philippine agencies (like this one) would fail big time when it comes to client satisfaction.  My complaint would most likely be picked up by an evasive staff who'd just top if off with "ok, we will investigate, bye!" .... that, or I'll be given the eternal run-a-round instead, they're very good at it.

[Hank_ 9,173]

You are the first to ever mention the "secret session" with a doctor and minor child.  I know I would not be happy regarding this and would probably end up on a lot of lists at SLEC ...  

 

For sure I don't think it is right.

[Ontarkie 13,920]

Is there any chance they just didn't want your mom to know (maybe the doctor didn't realize she was the legal guardian) and if you called they would give this information? 

 

I'm sorry if I'm causing you to worry more. I don't even know you or how things are done there and I'm steaming. 

 

 

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

1 hour ago, Ontarkie said:

Is there any chance they just didn't want your mom to know (maybe the doctor didn't realize she was the legal guardian) and if you called they would give this information? 

 

I'm sorry if I'm causing you to worry more. I don't even know you or how things are done there and I'm steaming. 

 

 

 

7 hours ago, RhineMaiden said:

Hi all! I am a US LPR, I petitioned my 14 y.o. daughter that is still in the Philippines (lives with my parents). Her interview date is approaching and she just finished and passed the St. Lukes/SLEC part yesterday. My  mother (also my daughter's legal guardian) and I were in touch on messenger the entire time during the SLEC process, by the time the physical exam was about to begin (where a person would fully undress to be checked a physician), the doctor asked my mother to step out of the room for a few minutes and requested to talk to my daughter alone, she was called back in during the actual physical exam. When it was done and they headed out, my mother simply asked  my daughter what is that stepping-out-of-the-room was all about, to where my daughter replied "According to the doctor, I should not disclose the information". 

 

I went through the SLEC process myself during my CR1 a few years back, but I can't recall at all being told of any sort of classified information. So in my daughter's case, neither I nor my Mom bothered to squeeze it out, we just let it be, and by that, I could say my daughter will genuinely retain her honesty and "innocence" in case whatever this "secret" information is most probably only and only for the consul/embassy purposes. I won't risk staining the fact.

 

Sooo ... what is going on? Is anyone familiar with whatever this is? Anyone went through with something similar at SLEC? Please enlighten me.

I was thinking this as well and maybe asking if she is or has been sexually active. I know she is 14 but you know as well as I do that it happens in Pinas. That is my biggest bet about that whole thing. 

[Chris Duffy 1,256]

I suggest you get hold of your daughter on Skype or some other type of face to face video and get to the bottom of this.

 

 

[Hank_ 9,173]

12 minutes ago, cyberfx1024 said:

 

I was thinking this as well and maybe asking if she is or has been sexually active. I know she is 14 but you know as well as I do that it happens in Pinas. That is my biggest bet about that whole thing. 

Yes that is possible, and I can see how asking that question when grandma is in the room may receive a different answer .. if you know what I am saying .. which you do .. now I am dizzy .. 

 

[Ontarkie 13,920]

26 minutes ago, cyberfx1024 said:

 

I was thinking this as well and maybe asking if she is or has been sexually active. I know she is 14 but you know as well as I do that it happens in Pinas. That is my biggest bet about that whole thing. 

I never even thought of sex, my mind went straight to drugs.

 

A minor is not to be questioned without a parent and should never be told to keep it a secret. Secrets are never a good thing to keep from a parent and having another adult and I don't care if he's a doctor it send's the wrong message to a young girl. 

 

[RhineMaiden 23]

1 hour ago, Hank_ said:

You are the first to ever mention the "secret session" with a doctor and minor child.  I know I would not be happy regarding this and would probably end up on a lot of lists at SLEC ...  

 

For sure I don't think it is right.

Lol! I'm honestly just confused right now, but I really don't wanna jeopardize anything so I'm holding my breath for now until her visa is approved.

 

1 hour ago, Ontarkie said:

Is there any chance they just didn't want your mom to know (maybe the doctor didn't realize she was the legal guardian) and if you called they would give this information? 

 

I'm sorry if I'm causing you to worry more. I don't even know you or how things are done there and I'm steaming. 

 

 

No worries. It really is just a matter of waiting a few more days for me to find out. Her visa interview is March 6. It's good that she passed the medical exam and no need for a 2 month long delay had she failed the IGRA (a couple of ladies they got to know were not as fortunate), if so then that would be a whole different story and I will insist on finding it out. I doubt they didn't know that my mom is her legal guardian, only parents and legal guardians can accompany minors to SLEC with no questions asked, otherwise additional documentations from me and the chaperon must be provided.

 

3 minutes ago, cyberfx1024 said:

 

I was thinking this as well and maybe asking if she is or has been sexually active. I know she is 14 but you know as well as I do that it happens in Pinas. That is my biggest bet about that whole thing. 

Well, for a little insight, the topic of sex is openly discussed between me and my daughter, yes, we have that kind of mother-daughter relationship. 14 is way too young, I know, but with all honesty I will say it right here right now that yes, she has been sexually active, to one partner - her boyfriend of almost a year now. The  amount of courage that took her to call me to confide about it,  the way I see it, she only gave me the RESPECT I deserve for educating her about engaging in such an intimate behavior. I only felt nothing but relief... relief that I don't have to deal with suspicions, snooping around, anxiety and full blown panic attacks and of course, the most dreadful moment of finding out that I ended up with a pregnant teenager! She is well aware of the protections, the responsibilities and consequences etc.. She knows she's not in any way ready to raise a child, I am pleased that she took the responsibility to tell me, finding it out in any other way would only make me feel that I somewhat failed as a parent, specially in today's world and generation where temptations and awful decisions are just a text, snap and tweet away..... and she doesn't eat TIde Pods, so it's +1 more parent point for me  

 

I haven't talked to my daughter yet, she's still asleep, but I will soon ... and if this SLEC secret is indeed what you think it is, which actually is very possible, matter of fact it makes a whole lot of sense to me that this might actually be it!! so thank you!

[RhineMaiden 23]

1 hour ago, Ontarkie said:

I never even thought of sex, my mind went straight to drugs.

 

A minor is not to be questioned without a parent and should never be told to keep it a secret. Secrets are never a good thing to keep from a parent and having another adult and I don't care if he's a doctor it send's the wrong message to a young girl. 

 

I'm starting to believe it's the sexual activity now and that I agree with Hank, it would be very awkward with grandma around (considering she's not as open minded as I am). But if it's drugs, then she would've not passed the medical exam.

 

I will update when I get to talk to her and get this resolved once and for all. I haven't talked to her at all since they got home from SLEC, it was an exhausting day and she went straight to sleep. I only got to talk to my mom for a short time where she told me about that secret meeting, so yeah, definitely need to talk to my daughter.

[Ontarkie 13,920]

1 hour ago, RhineMaiden said:

I'm starting to believe it's the sexual activity now and that I agree with Hank, it would be very awkward with grandma around (considering she's not as open minded as I am). But if it's drugs, then she would've not passed the medical exam.

 

I will update when I get to talk to her and get this resolved once and for all. I haven't talked to her at all since they got home from SLEC, it was an exhausting day and she went straight to sleep. I only got to talk to my mom for a short time where she told me about that secret meeting, so yeah, definitely need to talk to my daughter.

Good point about her passing the medical. 

[Chris Duffy 1,256]

Secret - Why is this term used so much in the Philippines

 

You ask a girl a question they don't want to hear or answer and they default to the word "SECRET"