Child custody between countries. Advice needed.

[Kristina_3012 0]

I am a permanent resident from Canada. Husband is US. We have 2 children. One was born in Canada. The other was born in the US.

My husband is not faithful to me and has lied numerous times in our marriage. I want to go home but I don't know what my rights are and can't act on my emotions for obvious reasons - I don't want to risk losing my kids.

I'm a housewife currently so I don't have my own finances. I am completely dependent on him.

In the event that we divorce, I don't want anything from him financially, but I do hope for joint custody. Thing is, I don't want to remain in the US if we divorce, so he's made it clear that he gets the kids and I'm welcome to go home anytime without them. He has complete control over the situation and knows it.

I'm not really sure where to start. I need legal advice. I need to know what the reality is if I do leave. I need to be careful.

Can anyone here point me in the right direction? I've been online seeking answers but I'm probably not going about it the right way.

[NewBeginnings1 10]

you definitely are going to have to seek legal advice/counsel. This definitely complicates things. I do know US and Canada have an agreement to enforce child support.

Good luck. It definitely sucks when circumstances force us to make such difficult situations. Are there any legal aid resources where you live? You could also contact the local YMCA and see if anyone there can help point you to community resources. If he is using finances to control you that is in essence a form of domestic violence.

[Georgia16 2,858]

You can't take the kids out of the country without his permission. Not even sure you can take them out of the states.

But you need a lawyer for all of this.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,368]

Where the children were born is immaterial. What matters is that they are your & your husband's children and they are in the US right now.

Neither you or your husband can take the kids to another country right now.

The only way to do that would be to get sole custody in a divorce. Even then, because of visitation rights, I'm not sure if you could relocate with your children.

Divorce & custody depends on your state law, but it is rare to get sole custody AFAIK.

You definitely need a lawyer.

Edited September 28, 2016 by EM_Vandaveer

[Jon&Margz 132]

Sorry to hear your situation.

Every State has varying laws about divorce (custody, support, etc) but you can not take kids out of the country without parental consent. The parent left behind can file a Hague Petition asking the foreign country to return the kids (I know because I filed one... 10 years ago). Most States are sympathetic to stay-home moms and the relationship you have with your kids. Odds are - you would receive a favorable outcome in a divorce proceeding (custody, child support, and (depending on length of the marriage) alimony). Many courts would even require your husband to pay your attorney fees.

One idea about negotiating: If you were to secure a large settlement (child support, alimony, primary custody of the kids) .. you could negotiate with your ex-husband ... "Let me leave with the kids, we establish an acceptable visitation schedule... and I will significantly reduce/waive the financial support".

First .. you need find a good divorce attorney and buy 1 hour of their time. Know your rights and the State laws before making any decisions. Attempting to leave the country with the kids could be a decision that haunts you (legally) for life.

Best wishes.

Edited September 26, 2016 by Jon&Margz

[Ortolan 381]

I'm hoping you'll be living in a Canadian city that's close enough to visit back and forth somewhat easily. Get yourself a lawyer specializing in family law/divorce. Good luck.

[squareleg 69]

I am a permanent resident from Canada. Husband is US. We have 2 children. One was born in Canada. The other was born in the US.

My husband is not faithful to me and has lied numerous times in our marriage. I want to go home but I don't know what my rights are and can't act on my emotions for obvious reasons - I don't want to risk losing my kids.

I'm a housewife currently so I don't have my own finances. I am completely dependent on him.

In the event that we divorce, I don't want anything from him financially, but I do hope for joint custody. Thing is, I don't want to remain in the US if we divorce, so he's made it clear that he gets the kids and I'm welcome to go home anytime without them. He has complete control over the situation and knows it.

I'm not really sure where to start. I need legal advice. I need to know what the reality is if I do leave. I need to be careful.

Can anyone here point me in the right direction? I've been online seeking answers but I'm probably not going about it the right way.

Hi Kristina - you cannot take the kids out of US without proper court orders (subsequent to divorce). I consider, it is highly likely that you will get to share the custody given that you are housewife and I assume have been influential in raising the kids.

Divorce but try to remain in US to have easy access to kids. Do not divorces and try to find a resolution to better your marriage. Either ways, leaving US is going to complicate your end of the bargain.

Good luck.

[Shiobhan 235]

Sit and talk to husband about joint custody, you cant just leave with the kids

go to legal aid if you have no money for initial info, if you can work it to let him

have the kids summer and you the school yr see if he agrees. You can purchase

their tickets to US he does back to Canada. Try and be civil for the sake of those kids