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zaynab

He slept all night outside, cheating yes

By zaynab in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

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zaynab Enthusiast

zaynab   4

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Timeline
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I'm living with unrespectful critical husband since I came to usa, husband who do not give me a penny to shop or to be responsible for a any thing at the house. He is the one responsible for kitchen needs and small things at the house,

I found out from a long time ago that he doesn't care if I'm with him or not, no love like before, no affection , I'm the one I try my best to makes him feel like married, today he went outside like usual to smoke, I normally give him a call sometimes when he is outside I just give a quick callto say hello , and to send him kisses over phone and tell him I'm waiting for him, today I went with him to the store we came back I was a little tired.he went to smoke ,I slept for 1h i got up I found out he is not at the house, no calls from him, nothing, he didn't came home at all, I didn't call him I was just waiting to see if he coming or no, he never did it, it was 03.00am I knew he probably will show up to get his jobs equipments at 05.00, I couldn't sleep thiking may be something bad happened to him.

Finally at 03.15 he came, I heard somebody opening the door very slowly with no sound or voice, he thought I'm a sleep, he was very drunk, clothes full of water, his under short was out from one side , the second short was wet,the jacket was wet, I understood from what I saw, that he slept because of tiring feeling, then got up put messy clothes on went into a shower somewhere!! to be able to drive back home, I was in a shock he almost came with no clothes on,he went to the bathroom and went to sleep, I feel I'm disrespectul ,and lost , I feel I'm in a big mess,

What do you think? I have nobody to talk too, except VJ , he just cheated on me, and came back to his appt, what do I have to do?

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Penguin_ie
Penguin_ie

I don't think what you say here means he cheated, but he is certainly disrespectful to the marriage, and that is very difficultt o deal with, especially with no local sounding board. Do you two share

Cheezees
Cheezees

Please just divorce and leave him. You deserve so much more than this.

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Penguin_ie Grand Master

Penguin_ie   5,986

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I don't think what you say here means he cheated, but he is certainly disrespectful to the marriage, and that is very difficultt o deal with, especially with no local sounding board. Do you two share a faith, maybe a priest or imam could counsel you?

In terms of immigration, you have your ten year greencard, so you need not worry about that.

Bye: Penguin

Me: Irish/ Swiss citizen, and now naturalised US citizen. Husband: USC; twin babies born Feb 08 in Ireland and a daughter in Feb 2010 in Arkansas who are all joint Irish/ USC. Did DCF (IR1) in 6 weeks via the Dublin, Ireland embassy and now living in Arkansas.

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zaynab Enthusiast

zaynab   4

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I don't think what you say here means he cheated, but he is certainly disrespectful to the marriage, and that is very difficultt o deal with, especially with no local sounding board. Do you two share a faith, maybe a priest or imam could counsel you?

In terms of immigration, you have your ten year greencard, so you need not worry about that.

I already have my 10 y green card. I worry about my marriage , my life, I'm very sure he cheated , because he never did it, and it's impossible to have a water over his clothes just because he was sitting and smoking, and under clothes out

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Sandra G. Veteran

Sandra G.   5,021

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You don't have to give excuses to yourself. What is the point of living with someone who doesn't respect, love and care about you?. People usually say "because I love him/her " or "I am trying to save my marriage" well you need to love,care and respect you more.

Marriage should be is based on respect, trust and love, without these things there is no reason to continue.

Edited by sandranj
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Cheezees Mentor

Cheezees   1,514

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Please just divorce and leave him. You deserve so much more than this.

 

 

AOS

03/24/11 - Got married in the Boogie-Down Bronx, NYC!
04/21/11 - Mailed I-130,I-765, I-485, I-864 and I-693 - Day 00

04/23/11 - Application delivered - Day 02
04/28/11 - NOA (most forms) - Day 07
05/03/11 - Checks cashed - Day 12
05/31/11 - Biometrics completed in the Bronx, NYC - Day 40
06/24/11 - Received someone else's employment authorization card!!! What the...? - Day 64
07/01/11 - Mailed the poor lady's card back after calling USCIS - Day 71
07/07/11 - Received poor lady's interview notice! What??? - Day 77
07/15/11 - Received my own EAD card - Day 85
08/12/11 - Interview. Approved on the spot! - Day 113
08/18/11 - Received card in the mail - Day 119

ROC
05/28/13 - Mailed I-751 - Day 00

05/30/13 - Application delivered - Day 02

05/31/13 - NOA I-797 - Day 03
06/04/13 - Check cashed - Day 07

06/06/13 - NOA delivered to my home/Biometrics letter generated - Day 09

06/10/13 - Received Biometrics letter in the mail - Day 13

06/27/13 - Biometrics completed in Milwaukee, WI - Day 30

09/10/13 - Application approved! - Day 105

09/14/13 - 10 year Green Card received! - Day 109

Citizenship

05/10/16 - Mailed N-400 - Day 00

05/12/16 - Application delivered - Day 02

05/13/16 - Credit card payment accepted - Day 03

05/17/16 - Received text & email update - Day 07

05/20/16 - Received 1st NOA (dated 05/13/16) & created ELIS acct - Day 10

05/21/16 - Received 2nd NOA (dated 05/16/16) confirming my DOB and address - Day 11

05/22/06 - Biometrics scheduled (online update) and appt letter was mailed on 05/20/16 - Day 12

05/24/06 - Biometrics letter became viewable online (appt scheduled for 06/07/16) - Day 14

05/27/16 - Received Biometrics letter in mail - Day 17

05/31/16 - Was denied walk-in fingerprints with just 1 person left in line. Milwaukee office, boo! - Day 21

06/07/16 - Biometrics completed in Milwaukee, WI - Day 28

12/21/16 - Passed Citizenship test/Interview was successful! - Day 197

01/26/17 - I am a US citizen!!! - Day 233

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joliejolie Contributor

joliejolie   0

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Posted (edited)

You don't have to give excuses to yourself. What is the point of living with someone who doesn't respect, love and care about you?. People usually say "because I love him/her " or "I am trying to save my marriage" well you need to love,care and respect you more.

Marriage should be is based on respect, trust and love, without these things there is no reason to continue.

You are right, Edited by joliejolie
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Ebunoluwa Veteran

Ebunoluwa   6,136

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Talk to him and tell him that you suspect he is cheating. Suggest counseling to open communication between you both and if he

refuses move on. You do need to learn how to communicate your thoughts to him.

Assuming is not enough, you need facts. Let him know that you will not be disrespected with him sneaking in and not telling you

ahead of time where he is going or the marriage is over.

Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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zaynab Enthusiast

zaynab   4

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Timeline
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Talk to him and tell him that you suspect he is cheating. Suggest counseling to open communication between you both and if he

refuses move on. You do need to learn how to communicate your thoughts to him.

Assuming is not enough, you need facts. Let him know that you will not be disrespected with him sneaking in and not telling you

ahead of time where he is going or the marriage is over.

Unfortunately, i gave up , i'm not going to do anything anymore, he always fight and stop speaking to me for few days , i if don't take initiative to speak to him he can stop speaking for months,

yesterday when he came back , i asked ! about whats going on? he know i think he was cheating on me , but no words from his part, no answer, he didn't went to his job because he had to sleep, he was packing some of his stuffs in a big box, i asked him are you leaving?no answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , i'm tired i'm just wasting my time , i deserve better , he can find another woman and he can cheat on her and insult her too like he does, he don't know what means communication

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