Help me please, how can i be with my fiancee?

[lost_at_sea 995]

Remember that a sponsor can be anyone resident in the USA, over 18 and a US Citizen or LPR, and has the necessary funding. Doesn't have to be a relative. Have anyone who you think would consider doing it look over the I-864 to understand the commitment.

Otherwise, you'll have to think of a Plan B. Maybe he moves to the Netherlands and visits his daughter, or maybe you permanently remain a visitor to the USA while you play out a longer game (try the lottery).

You mention that you've tried applying for jobs - in the USA? Are you working right now at all?

Edited November 14, 2015 by lost_at_sea

[Boiler 43,506]

There re basically 3 routes to the US, Family, Job and investment, Lottery well that is a long shot but free to enter.

Family and Investment sound out so what do you do, sometimes you need to look at it long term.

How old is his daughter?

[rhein 451]

Moving to the Netherlands is the best option. He could keep his SSDI, and visit his daughter a couple of times a year. Either that or get a cosponsor. Or end the relationship. Those are the options. It seems to me that it isn't that he can't move there, but that he won't. That's my 2 yuan.

[mallafri76 1,012]

HI all,

He can not come to live in Holland. He has a daughter from a previous marriage, and they share custody. His daughter has a mental handicap an has epilepsy. I wish he could but he can't.

We are in a relationship for 2 years now. I have been there twice now. We can not fit better together. His daughter i see as my own, his family welcomed me so lovingly, they feel like my own family.

About the work visa. I do not have a certain talent that gets me qualified. And i have been trying to find a job every day. I do not care what kind of job, as long as it is work and i make money to support ourselves and that i can be with him i am happy. It is very hard for me to find a job. Nobody ever replies to my messages.

How does that work if i find a job? Can my income be added with his income to qualify? How does that work?

What is the difference between a cosponsor and a joint sponsor? I get confused by what people tell me.

He can not work. Every time he tries to work, even adjusted work, it gets him hospitalized. He got into a accident on his job 2 times. And now he is fully disabled. He has spinal stenosis and denerative disc disease. I am very worried about his future. He needs me to take care of him, and i need him too.

What if his income of 14,000$ is not enough, can his mother sponsor us by adding the income that he lacks to qualify? Without her having to meet the 125% full income level?

We have been together 2 times now. I was there in april this year and when i needed to leave he fell into a depression. I got back as soon as i could with every last penny i got. I got back in September. Not his physical condition is getting worse. And i am worried about the future. I am pretty much on my own when it comes to search for information, and to find a solution. He can not sit or lay down for a long time.

My health got bad last year september. When i decided to go to him and couldn't because my uncle died. Knowing i waited so long and could not come was not easy for the both of us, and i was so happy i could go this year, twice :-).

Who can help me, i need to know what i can do, giving up on him is not an option. We do not have assets or anything we can sell to get the amount of money we can show,

Salary from a job only counts if it'll continue from the same source. E.g. you work as a translator in Holland and this job continues once you immigrate to the US. If you get a job in the US before immigrating, stupidly enough, this won't count towards the AOS.

Finding a joint sponsor is difficult because it is a legal responsibility and there is always the possibility of you suing the joint sponsor for financial support, which is why it's usually only family that'll take the "risk", IMO.

I'm just thinking outside the box now, but due to OP's husband's medical condition, what about a waiver? I don't know anything about waivers but maybe someone else on here can weigh in if this is an option for OP?

[mjgf77 0]

I would like to know about the waiver to, if someone knows more about it.


His daughter is 16 and will turn 17 in January. He pays child support so i do not understand why he has to count her. His ex has full control about their daughter. If she does not want him to see her, he does not see her.


He could live in Holland if he wanted to. But you have to know, his daughter is autistic, has seizures and has a mental disabiltiy. No responsable parent would leave their child to move to another country. If he did not have children he would have. I would not move if i were in the same situation. What good does it do if he would move to Holland? Then we would still have to have a sponsor to live in America after a while.


I have thought about everything. I would like to make a personal binding contract in where i promise to never sue the sponsor. Why would i want to anyway? I want to work hard, and to make sure we have good medical so that when my fiancees condition gets worse, we can take care of him.

I think that people seem to miss that it is not a small thing to emigrate to another country. I come from a wealthy country, i am not going to emigrate to have it financially better. I would emigrate out of love. I would not just emigrate and leave everything i love and know, family, friends, etc just for a guy that i like. I think the world has a bad view of immigrants. They are not all luck seekers.


I currently do not work, and looking for another job. I took care of a loved one that needed care and that was full time. I do volunteerwork and work with people who are mentally and physically challenged.


Breaking up is no option. Why would i leave him and punish him for the fact of money?

I can' t remain a visitor to America. I could not work and we would mainly live of his ssdi for the time i am there.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Waiver for what? Immigration isn't waiver able.

It doesn't matter, he's still required to count her until she's 18.

Many responsible parents have left their children, I personally have a time share plan (summers, holidays but regular communication) with my kids on Canada that I had to fight for due to a difficult divorce. My ex has custody . It's not what I wanted but was the best that I could get.

You don't sue the sponsor, the government does should any benefits be used

People are telling you to have him move there because right now there's no chance of U.S. immigration

Edited November 14, 2015 by Transborderwife

[Transborderwife 4,666]

He's likely on Medicaid

[Boiler 43,506]

You did not say what you do and if that is a way in.

His child will be an Adult soon and is living anyway with her mother, so what ever the timing is it seems that he should be able to move soon.

[aaron2020 11,651]

I would like to know about the waiver to, if someone knows more about it. There is no waiver for the I-864 that you would qualify for. Your petitioner needs to meet the I-864 requirements. This is an absolute.

His daughter is 16 and will turn 17 in January. He pays child support so i do not understand why he has to count her. His ex has full control about their daughter. If she does not want him to see her, he does not see her. 1. The I-864 requires him to count his minor daughter. 2. He is legally required to SUPPORT his minor daughter. 3. He pays child SUPPORT. 4. Easy to understand that he needs to count her on the I-864 Affidavit of SUPPORT because he is required to, he has a legal obligation to SUPPORT her, and he actually pays child SUPPORT.

He could live in Holland if he wanted to. But you have to know, his daughter is autistic, has seizures and has a mental disabiltiy. No responsable parent would leave their child to move to another country. If he did not have children he would have. I would not move if i were in the same situation. What good does it do if he would move to Holland? A good reason would be because you can't move to the US. Then we would still have to have a sponsor to live in America after a while.

I have thought about everything. I would like to make a personal binding contract in where i promise to never sue the sponsor. Would not hold water in court. Petitioner can not waive what Petitioner is legally obligated to do under the I-864. No court is going to let the Petitioner undermine his legal obligations under the I-864. It would render the I-864 meaningless. Why would i want to anyway? Because others have done so it does not preclude you from changing your mind at some point in the future. Pretty sure those who have sued their petitioners promised they wouldn't sue either. I want to work hard, and to make sure we have good medical so that when my fiancees condition gets worse, we can take care of him.

I think that people seem to miss that it is not a small thing to emigrate to another country. I come from a wealthy country, i am not going to emigrate to have it financially better. I would emigrate out of love. I would not just emigrate and leave everything i love and know, family, friends, etc just for a guy that i like. I think the world has a bad view of immigrants. They are not all luck seekers. We are immigrants. We have family who are immigrants. We know it's not a small thing to emigrate to another country. We do not view immigrants poorly. However, there are rules that applies to all Petitioners and potential immigrants. While you may come from a wealthy country, neither you or your fiance can meet the minimum financial requirements.

I currently do not work, and looking for another job. I took care of a loved one that needed care and that was full time. I do volunteerwork and work with people who are mentally and physically challenged.

Breaking up is no option. Why would i leave him and punish him for the fact of money?

I can' t remain a visitor to America. I could not work and we would mainly live of his ssdi for the time i am there.

I empathize with your situation. Sorry that this has been so difficult for you and your fiance.

However, you need to focus on the meeting the I-864 obligations instead of looking for phantom waivers, wondering why his daughter needs to be counted, telling us about how hard it is to emigrate, and that you come from a wealthy country while neither you or your fiance have jobs or assets to meet the I-864 requirements.

I hope you were venting.

Focus on meeting the I-864 requirements. There is no way around this.

Best of luck.

Edited November 14, 2015 by aaron2020

[mjgf77 0]

What if his daughter turns 18? Will she get her own ssi/ssdi? And will that mean he does not have to pay for his daughter after she turns 18? Because the amount he pays for her, prevents him from bringing me there. If the amount is counted with his ssdi income then he qualifies.


I was looking in becoming his live in caregiver. His condition with get worse when he gets older. But they can not do anything about his condition. The only thing they can do is kill the pain. So really, his medical care would not change much.


I do not have a specific work background, and i do not mind working any job.


As soon as i would live in America i would go to work. I do not even want him to support me

[aaron2020 11,651]

What if his daughter turns 18? Will she get her own ssi/ssdi? And will that mean he does not have to pay for his daughter after she turns 18? Because the amount he pays for her, prevents him from bringing me there. If the amount is counted with his ssdi income then he qualifies. You need to check on the age of majority in their state. It might not be 18. Once she reaches the age of majority and he does not claim her on his previous tax return, then she would not be counted on the I-864.

I was looking in becoming his live in caregiver. His condition with get worse when he gets older. But they can not do anything about his condition. The only thing they can do is kill the pain. So really, his medical care would not change much.

I do not have a specific work background, and i do not mind working any job.

As soon as i would live in America i would go to work. I do not even want him to support me

Your willingness to find a job to support yourself does not matter for the I-864. You need to focus on meeting the I-864 requirements instead of trying to explain why you wouldn't sue the Joint Sponsor, not be a burden, etc. The I-864 requirements need to be satisfied in order for you to get a green card.

[mjgf77 0]

He does not pay tax, and he does not pay tax for his daughter, his ex pays tax.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

It depends on his state when his child support obligations end. I get that you want to work, but it's hard to find a job in the USA. That's why the affidavit of support exists

[mallafri76 1,012]

You might just need to wait until he no longer has to pay child support for his daughter. Then his household size would be two and he needs a gross adjusted annual income of $19,912, as it is now. What state is your husband in?

[mjgf77 0]

he lives in Indiana. He pays 500$ per month for his daughter, and if i count it with what he has 1170 per month, then it could be enough if he does not have to pay for her when she turns of age, and gets her own ssi/ssdi. His mother wants to start a cleaning business with me, but we can not do that until i am there. And i got a job offered as a care giver, only if i lived there. And they do not submit work visas, has to be american based only.


what i also do not get is he needs to make the 19,000+ to get me there. But if i want to work he needs to make around the 25,000$ + right? Otherwise on the 19,000+ is just to get me there, but i would not be able to work