Husband gone on a trip back home

[Ban Hammer 12,861]

If I were you I would sleep spread out on the entire bed and take out my anti-snoring earplugs... but that's just me

you sound just like nessa

[Mags 112]

Mmmmm Kevin Spacey. "I rule!"

I adore KS, he is an acting legend!

[KarenCee 3]

Well, I'd open a box of choccies, slob out on the sofa and watch lots of Kevin Spacey movies back to back!

Oh girl now you are talking! Throw in a few old James Bond movies too, which necessitates more choccie, and a good bottle (or two) of wine and I'm set!

[Cassie 8]

when I was home helping my dad take care of things while Mom was dealing with chemotherapy, my hubby worked a lot of overtime.

when my hubby was gone on business trips, I enjoyed having the whole dang bed to myself!

we made sure we talked lots.

ah but business trips are different.. to a year of vj whining of how long the visa is taking, and after the 'alien' goes to the USA, there's another year of whining of how he/she misses home etc etc.. so u either wanted to be with ur SO, or wanted to be home..

I'm slightly confused about what you're trying to tell me, pedroh, I'm not allowed to miss home? I'm not allowed to want to be there in my parents' time of need? Please explain.

[BelwinMills 0]

not my style.. If we can't afford 2 tickets, noone's going anywhere.. i think it's unfair for the USC for the foreigner to be like buahh i need to go home sniffles, i love you but u see, i miss other things more than u

My hubby will be here in April he asked me if he could go back for a boys trip in August I said no because I don't get to go. The only way I told him he could go if he worked and saved enough money. I am with you on that one. When we go back he can hangout with his friends and I will hangout with my friends and my mother in law.

[Mags 112]

Well, I'd open a box of choccies, slob out on the sofa and watch lots of Kevin Spacey movies back to back!

Oh girl now you are talking! Throw in a few old James Bond movies too, which necessitates more choccie, and a good bottle (or two) of wine and I'm set!

Exactly! Make the most of the free time. I love my hubby to bits but I also love ME time too.

[MissStacey 1]

In the last 6 months I've seen my husband for a grand total of 4 days.

2 weeks would seem like nothing.

[Cali Gal CPA 0]

It is funny you brought up the military. I was talking to my husband last night and said I really don't know how the military spouses deal with separation brought on by active duty. They have to be some of the strongest people in the world.

It's not easy, but I got used to it. The first time he was away, 1 week after we got married I didn't have a job or driver's license yet, I stayed home and watched TV all day, online retail therapy helped too. I missed him terribly but I figured since we lasted 5 years of LDR, what's a couple of weeks?

When I got a job, I was ecstatic - that's 40 hours a week that I probably won't think of him when he's away, but the hardest part of the day is trying to fall asleep at night. That's why I have Lunesta for that. No amount of whining or crying can change the fact that he has job that requires him to move whenever, in the end I have to go through it.

Consider this a found time, you have the rest of your lives to spend together

[Lizzy 0]

not my style.. If we can't afford 2 tickets, noone's going anywhere.. i think it's unfair for the USC for the foreigner to be like buahh i need to go home sniffles, i love you but u see, i miss other things more than u

What a load of rubbish!! I am not joined at the hip with my husband, yes i love him and want to be with him more than anything else in the world, my god i fought enough to be with him, but if i want to go to the UK and see my family and he is ok with that, i will go!

Also whats wrong with missing home

[jodee 30]

*WAVES HAND*...Im a military spouse, and am dealing with seperation right now,..this is the second 12 month tour since we got here in March 2004. We had a long distance thing for 2 1/2 yrs before we married, then a month after we married he deployed,. and it doesnt stop there, when he's home he works shift work, being a MP, so our paths often dont cross, due to sleeping patterns,..lol,..as well as field training, etc etc,..need i go on!! .SO I know all about seperation....and for me, its just getting on with my life, doing the normal day to day things I do when he's normally here, I even wait to speak to him to make decisions about what needs to be done around the house etc.. I try to keep my life as normal as possible, and not dwell on the fact that hes gone,..but , I can tell you it has been getting harder...

2 weeks is more like a vacation, not a seperation,...

Jodee

[peezey 0]

T---I think weekends will be the worst, you are so busy during the week, but today is almost done, that leaves tomorrow and next weekend, then you'll be on a good countdown til he gets back. It is a weird feeling when they are suddenly gone, but it can be a nice break, too. Get a bunch of food he doesn't like so you can gorge on it in peace til he comes home.

Edited March 3, 2007 by peezey

[Fandango 1,439]

when I was home helping my dad take care of things while Mom was dealing with chemotherapy, my hubby worked a lot of overtime.

when my hubby was gone on business trips, I enjoyed having the whole dang bed to myself!

we made sure we talked lots.

ah but business trips are different.. to a year of vj whining of how long the visa is taking, and after the 'alien' goes to the USA, there's another year of whining of how he/she misses home etc etc.. so u either wanted to be with ur SO, or wanted to be home..

I think that's a totally unfair way of looking at things. But eh, diff strokes....

Your other tidbit about not going alone....I think if D's home were closer to me and it wasn't such an ordeal, I would have no probs him popping over by himself if there was some reason I couldn't go. It wouldn't be an ideal situation, but not undoable. But I don't think he'd actually want to, tho.

Oh, and Twila...how bout this for how to deal with 2 weeks.......remember what the initial wait was like, and this will seem like nothing.

Edited March 3, 2007 by LisaD

[peezey 0]

The OP's husband has been here for more than a year, and hasn't spent the time whining about going home. I think it's pretty selfish if there's enough money for the immigrant to go home, and he/she hasn't seen family in 2 years, and his/her mother would really like to see him/her and is from a country that has no chance of issuing a visitor visa to the mother, to say he/she can't go until more money/personal time/vacation time is saved up so the USC can go.

Edited March 3, 2007 by peezey

[tnh9479 1]

It has been interesting to read everyone's responses. I know two weeks is not an eternity (and nothing like the wait during all the filing process -- ARGHHH). As Peezey said, I thought it was totally selfish to deny him a visit home to his family. He has been here for close to two years. He is a very hard worker and an amazing husband. He is going to college besides working 40 hours/week. He has earned this.

He has called me a couple of times during his layover at JFK. He called his family as well. I was joking around with him last night that they miss him so much that they may meet him at the train station in town. Apparently, he had to talk his younger sister out of it today.

Twila

[pedroh 21]

IMO! (not a statement lol, just my opinion) is still unfair..

ok.. to start with, yeah, if it's a case where your folks are sick or they need you, well, that's completely understandeable, but just because you 'miss' your home town, it sounds kinda selfish because well, technically going on a vacation (1-2 weeks) is like saying ur SO -hey, im gonna go hang out with my folks/boys/girls while u stay here working and such-.. cuz let's be real, u don't go home to work, u go home to chill, to meet with friends, while the USC stays home and goes to work and has to deal with the everyday life..

now what I was saying was not related to the posters in this specific thread, but I've seen lots of threads where after a year of depression-aggravation-sadness-drunkness-whatever of being appart because the visas or security checks or something, and when they get married and oh everything's so happy, suddenly the alien gets depressed and wants to go home and buhuhu.. so I don't see consistency, i rather see contradiction.. either u 'are ready to get the hell out of here and go with my honey in the US' or 'omg i've been 4 months in USA I miss my mom and family blablabla'.. In my personal case, while I don't think my wife would strongly object (she wouldn't say NO, but I know she would mind) I think it's unfair, cuz while im gonna be with mom and dad eating breakfast, waking up late for 2 weeks, she's gonna be here going to work, everday routine..

so that's my issue, consistency and contradiction.. yes, I miss my home and my boys and my folks, but not because of that I'm gonna tell my wife, hey we don't have enough money, so I'm going by myself to Mexico for 2 weeks.. that's selfish, since she also enjoys my home town and my family.. and if you're gonna live in the US, well, it's a sign of non-adaptation and or integration when u wanna go back home constantly.. I try to go every year, but if one year there wasn't enough money, I wouldn't go by myself.. and that's not being 'selfish' or 'joined to the hip to my husband' (LOL @ the offended independent womanly commentary)