Update after two years of arrival from Nigeria

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Update on relationship after husband's arrival to US. Although I have not been on VJ for a while, I periodically come back and post updates to help others who are still in their VJ journey. My husband now has been here over two years. Recently we removed his conditions and he received his 10 yr green card. He is working hard and our relationship still going strong. The first two years did present its challenges for regardless of the fact we knew each other for a long time and he has remained very true to his promises and he is a very caring and loving man. The adjustment period was interesting nevertheless! There are so many things that they, as new comers to this country don't know about or how to adjust to. Time and patience will iron out those kinks ? I want to mention AGAIN that just because someone comes from a "HIGH" scam country doesn't mean you are married to one! There are good and bad people in every country/culture. Your experience is yours only. Choose carefully and expect to work hard to get your loved one to this country. It is not for everyone to go through the visa journey. It is emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically draining BUT if you have chosen the right partner, then it is all worth it. I am a living proof that even with red flags a relationship with a Nigerian is possible and a happy outcome is not far fetched! All relationships are hard work and with love and commitment, a happy ending is possible! Blessings and good luck to those who are still in their journey!

Edited September 16, 2015 by LoveNigarmostyle

[tomyka81 95]

Thanks I so needed to hear this right now. My fiance's interview is tomorrrow. We have numerous red flags. We have cultural differences, mainly in language understanding. I notice that he doesn't consider feelings and emotions in the words that he says. Statements are just a matter of fact for my fiance. So that is our number one big thing. Glad to hear that you are doing good. What are some of the adjustments to life in the USA that they experience?

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

name="tomyka81" post="7818527" timestamp="1442444696"]

Thanks I so needed to hear this right now. My fiance's interview is tomorrrow. We have numerous red flags. We have cultural differences, mainly in language understanding. I notice that he doesn't consider feelings and emotions in the words that he says. Statements are just a matter of fact for my fiance. So that is our number one big thing. Glad to hear that you are doing good. What are some of the adjustments to life in the USA that they experience? so many things need to be adjusted to on personal level and just by being in a new country. Use of our roads to drive, foods, financial interactions, rules and regulations and paying taxes! Lol my husband hates paying taxes. So many things which we take for granted that we know, they don't for it is a whole new experience for them. Just know that once your man is here, the next phase and chapter is going to start. That phase is and could be trying, but be patient with yourself and him. Take it one day at a time and one task at a time! Good luck with your interview!

Edited September 16, 2015 by LoveNigarmostyle

[Boo Rowe 9]

thank you for sharing this....I believe this will help my husband and I a lot. This is wonderful and I will that the had classes for families that migrate in to different parts of the world on life lessons and fitting in

[ikeNme 38]

Thank you for sharing!! As with most things in life, you seem to only hear about the "bad" and not the "good"....Its very encouraging to hear a success story when it's easy to start second guessing things when all you hear are the negatives. Wishing you many more years of happiness !!

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Thank you for sharing!! As with most things in life, you seem to only hear about the "bad" and not the "good"....Its very encouraging to hear a success story when it's easy to start second guessing things when all you hear are the negatives. Wishing you many more years of happiness !!

it is imperative for those of us who lived to tell our stories "lol" to share it with those who are still traveling this hellish road of VJ! There are many sad and negative outcomes to long distant relationships but some stories truly end in a good note! I am glad that ours will encourage and help others! Thanks!

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Thank you for sharing!! As with most things in life, you seem to only hear about the "bad" and not the "good"....Its very encouraging to hear a success story when it's easy to start second guessing things when all you hear are the negatives. Wishing you many more years of happiness !!

thank you for your good wishes! There is nothing that you could do to prepare you for some of the things ahead. But there are many you could do to put things in prospective and in motion. Talk about your finances, how things will be handled once he is here. Have him read the dmv booklet online if he can access it from where he is! Talk about the jobs he will need to expect to start with and not the ones he is dreaming of! I had told my husband that once he stepped off the plane, Uncle Sam would be extending his hand out for his portion of taxes and now he says you were not kidding!!! Hahaha best of luck! Edited September 17, 2015 by LoveNigarmostyle

[TBoneTX 43,531]

*** Thread moved from the Finding Work in America forum to the General Immigration Discussion forum. ***

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

Thanks for the update. My wife has now been with me for 2 months and we're going through the same adjustments that you speak of. I was totally floored after 4 weeks when she came to me and stated that she was unhappy. I replied, "Unhappy about everything?" Her answer was yes, pretty much. Suffice it to say that we've spent the last 5 weeks working on that unhappiness and things have improved a lot for her, and me as well.

I've always stated that one benefit of an international relationship is that you're forced to listen more to your partner than in a same-country relationship because none of your assumptions or stereotypes or knowledge of your own culture apply. Instead of racing toward decisions because you've seen this before, you're forced to work through a lot of issues with extra listening and this process actually strengthens the relationship in many ways. It will never be easy, but some of us don't necessarily want easy.

[MrsBonsu 138]

You are so right, very positive post! I wish you and your husband continued peace and prosperity in your relationship ??

[S_R 148]

Wow! It's been awhile since you came back on vj...I'm happy you guys are doing great. Cheers girl.

[lutz 41]

Update on relationship after husband's arrival to US. Although I have not been on VJ for a while, I periodically come back and post updates to help others who are still in their VJ journey. My husband now has been here over two years. Recently we removed his conditions and he received his 10 yr green card. He is working hard and our relationship still going strong. The first two years did present its challenges for regardless of the fact we knew each other for a long time and he has remained very true to his promises and he is a very caring and loving man. The adjustment period was interesting nevertheless! There are so many things that they, as new comers to this country don't know about or how to adjust to. Time and patience will iron out those kinks ? I want to mention AGAIN that just because someone comes from a "HIGH" scam country doesn't mean you are married to one! There are good and bad people in every country/culture. Your experience is yours only. Choose carefully and expect to work hard to get your loved one to this country. It is not for everyone to go through the visa journey. It is emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically draining BUT if you have chosen the right partner, then it is all worth it. I am a living proof that even with red flags a relationship with a Nigerian is possible and a happy outcome is not far fetched! All relationships are hard work and with love and commitment, a happy ending is possible! Blessings and good luck to those who are still in their journey!

Thank you so much for posting this. I am currently going through challenges getting my Ghanaian husband here, simply because he is from a very difficult Embassy country. He is a man of integrity, but because of where he comes from, he's immediately looked upon suspiciously. Your post presented itself just at the time I needed it. His CR1 was just denied, but I plan to fight for him to get here. Thank you and may God bless you further.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

You are so right, very positive post! I wish you and your husband continued peace and prosperity in your relationship ??

sometimes it is important to share the positive side of this long journey. Thanks for your good wishes!

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Thank you so much for posting this. I am currently going through challenges getting my Ghanaian husband here, simply because he is from a very difficult Embassy country. He is a man of integrity, but because of where he comes from, he's immediately looked upon suspiciously. Your post presented itself just at the time I needed it. His CR1 was just denied, but I plan to fight for him to get here. Thank you and may God bless you further.

hang in there for this too shall pass. There is an end to all the waiting and wondering when and how. Fight for your relationship and don't let the petitioning tear you apart! Stay focused and take it a day at a time. Blessings and best wishes!

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Wow! It's been awhile since you came back on vj...I'm happy you guys are doing great. Cheers girl.

yes it has been a long time. Glad to see you still remember us! Hope you are well too? I peak in periodically to keep hope and faith in long distance relationships alive! Lol giving a positive feedback is crucial when the VJ is so hard. Some of us are truly blessed that our hardship is over but it is never forgotten or taken for granted ?

You are so right, very positive post! I wish you and your husband continued peace and prosperity in your relationship ??

thank you! Glad to be of help!