Need advice

[megabyte 0]

Hello everybody! I'm married with filipino wife for 6 months, and living in Philippines for a 2 years.

First, I came to Philippines with my mother and brother for studying English, and my brother still studying in high school. In that time I had online freelance job.

1 year ago I met my filipino girlfriend, and we start meeting. After month we met her mother and speak about wedding, because I had plan to go to USA for job, and in that case if we serious in our relationship, we should get married, and I was agree with that for go to USA together in future. She still studying in college, last year already. So, we had plan to go to USA after her graduation in 2016.

Her mother ask me, if I will not get her pregnant, and will support her education. I agree with that, and we start prepare our documents. But was a problem - she and her mother said that nobody will know about our relationship, and we will not live together while grandmother will not back to Canada (youngest sister of mother living in Canada, and grandmother sometimes living in Canada). I wasn't agree with that, but I follow that I we will not share our relationship to others. So, mother agree that we will live together after wedding. I rent unit in her place and lived there.

In that time she lived with her grandmother, and came to my unit almost everyday. And often she checked me. For example, came at evening even didn't say before that she will come. She didn't trust me that I love her and living here for to be together, and she thought that I can have another girlfriend in that time. But I love her and never change her or doing something bad. I'm honest person who very close with church.

Once, she came and start to hide chat on her phone from me. I ask her to show me, and she got angry, but show anyway. On her phone was a lot of contacts with other foreigners, and she still chatting with another one boy. And also, in history of her browser was x-videos... I was so surprised, and want to stop relationship, but she said that she will delete all conversations, and will not chat anymore because she love me and want to be with me, and x-videos watched her uncle. So, I believe in that and continue all.

Sometimes she asked me about money for her education, and I gave every time. It's not so many, but maybe 100$ every month I gave her.

I start living at August there, and prepare my documents in September already. But her documents was still not ready even in November. And when I asked her, why she didn't prepare it, she said that she not believe me that I'm really want to be with she. But I doing all for her, care her, support, living near and almost whole time together. I didn't understand why she said like that... She whole time hide something and didn't allow me to go to her house, to her college, and with her together outside, for nobody can see us. So, she coming everyday after classes and be with me, but I never know even her schedule... She was angry that I'm asking her about documents and gone without telling nothing. I wanted to stop relationship again because of that, but after few days she back and say sorry...

At last days of November we went to city hall in that city where living my mother, and tried to prepare documents there, but her mother didn't make parent's advice for a long time, and when she made it already at lawer in another city, major's secretary said that it's wrong, and didn't accept documents. So, we start to do all in city where I lived and where she studying. And there was so fast to do, and already and January we take licence and got married.

In december she said that she has problems with her grandmother, because grandmother saw us together at store and understand about lie of my girlfriend. Grandmother was so angry that she found foreigner, and call her with not good words... And I didn't understand, why... So, I invite her to live together. And her mother agree with that, just she said for I will do what I promised, and she said that she will support us while she can even I didn't ask support. And started december we already lived together. And since that time all was ok. But...

In December I lost my work, and I asked for support of my mother, and start to looking for a job in Philippines. Also, I found information, that I can make resident visa for 1 year by marriage and have job. So, at wedding major said for wife will come after week and take certificate, and after two weeks - NSO. She took certificate after week, but didn't take NSO, and said me that it's aren't ready... I waited week more, and went to city hall myself, but they said that NSO was ready and possible to take, but for now I can take it only in NSO office. So, my wife was angry again why I went there myself, and angry that I asked her why she didn't take it herself and said that it's not ready. We go to NSO together, but they said that my NSO will be ready only after 6 months... Within 1 month I found few good jobs, but can't apply because don't have permit for job via resident visa... We continue to use money of my mother, and we speak before, that we will back all money to my mother after I will found job and wife will work also, for 50% for me and 50% for her. Also, we paid her education, and since January until April we used for 3000$. Money start to gone so fast, even I tried to save. Her mother gave maybe 25 - 50$ every month, but wife didn't use it for us, and all moneys sent every time to her brother to another city.

At february we thought about buying house. I can't buy it because I'm foreigner, so we have plan to buy it on her name, and we will live together with my family there, because we wanted to use money of my mother for buying. But after few weeks searching we didn't found good and security house. and my mother said that she scared to pay so big money in cash. So, we stop searching, and after that problems started...

At March she finished her third year, and preparing for practice. I asked her to transfer to city of my mother and take practice there, and continue education there, but she said that it's impossible. I waited for a NSO, and still looking for a job. And in last days of April I found online job again, but for stable connection with internet I should transfer to unit of my mother for working good. And we choose with wife that I will ride to another city for week days, and back for weekends, and one week we do like that. When I back after one week, she said that she already finished her practice, and want to transfer with me together, and she will choose another college for graduate fourth year there. So, we stop renting our unit, and transfer to unit of my mother. Since May we lived there together, and there she stop to do any: only seat at laptop and playing games, didn't search a college, and never cook, clean, etc... So, after 2 weeks I went to colleges myself and took information that it's not a problem to transfer. But she anyway didn't transfer. My mother gave her money for pay education because I still didn't have salary.

In last days of May she said that she will back to her city again, and will ride everyday to me, so we will rent bigger unit here and live together with my mother and brother for more comfort. So, sometimes she will sleep in dorm. I agree with that.

In last days of May received salary, and she asked me for a 50% of that. But it was only 800$, and I need to pay unit, and make documents and visa, and gave her everyday for riding and dorm, and food. So, I count all, and said that it's impossible to give her 50% because we should use it together all. She was angry of that and said that she will not live in dorm, and her father and brother will come soon to her city for rent house. So, she want for I rent that house for them. I said that I can support her, but not her family. And she said that will do all for I will kicked out from country.

But I didn't understand, why I need to support her family, and I ready to support her. So, I had this steps for us:

1. Continue working online for 1100$ every month

2. Rent bigger unit for all of us

3. Give her 200$ every month for her food and road

4. Prepare documents for visa

5. Apply for real job here for 1500$

But she only was angry and didn't accept it. Her mother came and was also so angry to all of us, but we didn't do nothing bad. Wife gone with her mother and said that she no need my support, and will come to me only twice per month, took her things, and since that time living in her city.

After 2 weeks she asked for I gave her money for road to me. So, in June I gave her anyway 200$, and she will back if I will rent bigger unit already. So, I continue work online, rent bigger unit and paid deposit from my salary for that, and I have only 200$ after, what I need to use for food. And for now I gave her only 50$, because I don't have more. She didn't back to me to bigger unit, and said that she will back already only if I will rent separate unit. I was surprised of it...

I tried to prepare documents for visa, but I found some surprise again. Her name in marriage certificate and birth certificate is Anne Mae Walter, but in school and everywhere is Anne Walter Adalin. Walter is the family name of her mother, Adalin - of her father. She said that she change it because of late registration of marriage of her parents. So, It has problem, because even I took NSO, I can't pass documents for visa because of different names. I ask her to make postal ID, but she didn't do it. I start to do it myself for her, but she was sure that I will not receive barangay clearance for her, but I receive it without problem. So, we apply for postal ID, but for whole 2 months she only make me nervous. Looks like I only husband and need to do all, but she can do any what she want. And because of all documents, mistakes and her hidings, lie and rude, I don't know already what to do.

After passing documents to postal ID, she text me that her mother prohibit her to meet me. How she can do it if I am husband? She needs to live with me, but she don't want. She said that needs in my support, but no need in me. And said that she will come every 2 weeks for take money and sleep night. But how she can say like that? Only a prostitute come for night and take money after that... I wanted to have real wife, with who we will do all and go to USA after her graduation, but in fact I have not a wife, but I need to give her for 300$ per month even she didn't help me to make visa and apply job.

I said her, that after apply a job and make visa I can give her more money, but for now it's so hard, because I using a lot for big unit, and she don't want to live there. I can't rent house and support her family, and they prohibit her to meet me because I give her small money. She drinking alcohol there, and I even don't know where and with who she living, and she don't want me to come to her house. She has 3 days free, and don't want to apply a job for support herself.

So, when you know my story, I have few questions.

1. How can I manage her, back her to me and prohibit to live there if it's possible?

2. Do I need to support her if she not living with me?

3. I looking in all of that just a cheating. So, can I make annullment of marriage and to be single again?

4. Maybe here has some specialist like lawer who can speak with both of us and said her that she doing not right, and she will understand something?

5. What better to do now? Stop all of it, or still follow her?

Thank you in advance! With God!

[Boiler 43,381]

What has this to do with immigration to the US?

[megabyte 0]

I'm scared to join her to USA already, and also, if I will go to USA alone, I don't know if I can get married again. It's why I asked my questions, for think what to do next. Just if all of that is not important and peoples will say that she just cheating me in all, so, maybe better to go back now already, immediately, and do not wait her...

[Boiler 43,381]

How are you moving to the US?

[megabyte 0]

I'm naturalized USA citizen already, and want my family join me in USA. My mother is medical doctor, but before she didn't speak in English, and my brother still studying, it's why I join them in Philippines for they can prepare. While my brother studying in school, they will live in Philippines, I help them and can back to USA, but think what to do:

1. Back now alone and wait mother and brother

2. Fix problem with wife and back with she after her graduation, and wait for mother and brother

3. Wait graduation of brother and see what will be with wife

[Boiler 43,381]

Your mother and brother are also US Citizens?

[megabyte 0]

No, they citizens of Romania, but we already fixed their questions with visas to USA. My brother will enroll to college, my mother will work.

[Boiler 43,381]

When will they have to leave? What visas did they get?

[chillin4me 15]

You know your wife has problems. I am sorry to say that based on your story she is just wanting the opportunity to go to US at first before you got married. Then now that you are both married to each other, all she cares is your money, she wanted you to support her and her entire family, and not doing her role as a wife to you. That is not a good sign. You better think thousand times about this, you might just regret it in the end.

[Darnell 8,478]

i say save up about 400 usd and pay for a private investigator team, as

what you've reported on smells of scam.

sorry you're going through this, really !

if you cannot get annulment in the PI, you can get a regular divorce in the USA, once you are back in the USA - method varies by which state, but mostly you'll be divorcing her 'in abstentia' ...

Edited July 21, 2015 by Darnell

[Greenbaum 12,258]

Your story sounds typical of a girl who wants everything but is not willing to meet you halfway as a wife. Your mother in law is a parasite. Believe me, she is involved in this scam along with your wife. You are better off without her and that family. And for your sake don't get her pregnant or you will have more problems.

Best thing for you to do is get away from her and her family, get your paperwork submitted for your visa, and get to the US with your mother and brother. Once in the US, get your job, save your money and then get a good lawyer and divorce this girl.

No one deserves the heartache and BS that you are enduring.

[CappyLovesSag 3]

I'm filipina, I'm sorry to hear this ? She doesn't have a heart, she treated you like sh*t, you don't deserve it. And like Darnell and others are saying it could be a scam. Where did you two have ur wedding? And one thing "Walter" isn't a filipino surname, it's a foreign name, so she could be married before with a foreign guy. Did you two have a seminar before the wedding and were you able to get marriage license after that? Because that's one requirement before getting married in Phils. If you didn't have a registered marriage license it means you're not married. There's a lot of fake marriages in the Phils.

[Darnell 8,478]

sorry i wasn't more adamant.

'could be' ? no, this is absolutely a scam, based on what you've written. I only evaluate what you've written, back at post #1. And the pattern you've described is common, alas !

so, you can decide, what to do, based on what I wrote prior.