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Thisplacerules

Fiancee I-29f K-1 Need help with abusive immigrant

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God help me, Ive gone through 2 yrs of hell. He refuses to help with bills. Keeps all his bank account private. He is cold, allusive, abusive with words, has fits of rage or passive aggressiveness destroying everything in his path and only things he knows I value. He refuses to keep a steady job, help around the house in anyway, expects me to wait on treats me like a servant, sleeps alone often yet wants sex, like he is a price, uses forceful sex, has got me in almost 20,000. in debt including back taxes from his business I helped him set up. He hates my cooking so I stopped trying tp please him, he spends most his time on games and on his new iphphone or apple computer while he destroyed mine in anger. All on charge or credit. He tells me in anger he will leave all the bills to me and go home. He does what he wants when he wants and if I confront him, he goes off like a firecracker. I have nothing left. He refuses to share me with his friends and family or to post he is married publicly anywhere. I need serious help and after all the verbal abuse I have completely fallen out of love with him. We are awaiting the meeting to remove his conditions. Im so mad at being used for him to just get here I dont want him to stay under these conditions, but can find no help online for abused sponsers, only for the immigrant. Someone help me, my Hell grows every day. All the things I harassed him over for a year, he now is telling me he has issues with like having kids, sharing bank accounts, sending money home instead of contributing here. I pay for the roof over his head and all food and utilities. He even drives my car. He just keeps getting himself more and more in debt and I want out from under his evil plans to hurt me. He even will have nothing to do with my family or friends. Where can I go to get help?

Edited by Thisplacerules

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Agree Divorce.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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God help me, Ive gone through 2 yrs of hell. He refuses to help with bills. Keeps all his bank account private. He is cold, allusive, abusive with words, has fits of rage or passive aggressiveness destroying everything in his path and only things he knows I value. He refuses to keep a steady job, help around the house in anyway, expects me to wait on treats me like a servant, sleeps alone often yet wants sex, like he is a price, uses forceful sex, has got me in almost 20,000. in debt including back taxes from his business I helped him set up. He hates my cooking so I stopped trying tp please him, he spends most his time on games and on his new iphphone or apple computer while he destroyed mine in anger. All on charge or credit. He tells me in anger he will leave all the bills to me and go home. He does what he wants when he wants and if I confront him, he goes off like a firecracker. I have nothing left. He refuses to share me with his friends and family or to post he is married publicly anywhere. I need serious help and after all the verbal abuse I have completely fallen out of love with him. We are awaiting the meeting to remove his conditions. Im so mad at being used for him to just get here I dont want him to stay under these conditions, but can find no help online for abused sponsers, only for the immigrant. Someone help me, my Hell grows every day. All the things I harassed him over for a year, he now is telling me he has issues with like having kids, sharing bank accounts, sending money home instead of contributing here. I pay for the roof over his head and all food and utilities. He even drives my car. He just keeps getting himself more and more in debt and I want out from under his evil plans to hurt me. He even will have nothing to do with my family or friends. Where can I go to get help?

Help? Two years of this? You began this & you will have to end it. I am so sorry to hear about what this guy has done but only you can end this disaster so get on with it today. .

Where does he get money? Cell phones? Cars? Housing? Food? In fact support in general?

Contact USCIS asap.

Shut off the cash.

Seek restraining order.

Boiler is right

Divorce.

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God help me, Ive gone through 2 yrs of hell. He refuses to help with bills. Keeps all his bank account private. He is cold, allusive, abusive with words, has fits of rage or passive aggressiveness destroying everything in his path and only things he knows I value. He refuses to keep a steady job, help around the house in anyway, expects me to wait on treats me like a servant, sleeps alone often yet wants sex, like he is a price, uses forceful sex, has got me in almost 20,000. in debt including back taxes from his business I helped him set up. He hates my cooking so I stopped trying tp please him, he spends most his time on games and on his new iphphone or apple computer while he destroyed mine in anger. All on charge or credit. He tells me in anger he will leave all the bills to me and go home. He does what he wants when he wants and if I confront him, he goes off like a firecracker. I have nothing left. He refuses to share me with his friends and family or to post he is married publicly anywhere. I need serious help and after all the verbal abuse I have completely fallen out of love with him. We are awaiting the meeting to remove his conditions. Im so mad at being used for him to just get here I dont want him to stay under these conditions, but can find no help online for abused sponsers, only for the immigrant. Someone help me, my Hell grows every day. All the things I harassed him over for a year, he now is telling me he has issues with like having kids, sharing bank accounts, sending money home instead of contributing here. I pay for the roof over his head and all food and utilities. He even drives my car. He just keeps getting himself more and more in debt and I want out from under his evil plans to hurt me. He even will have nothing to do with my family or friends. Where can I go to get help?

There are many domestic abuse shelters and support systems in place for women in your state

Here's a few:

http://www.twsh.org/

http://www.mocadsv.org/Default.aspx

http://www.lsmo.org/library-item/missouri-domestic-violence-resources

https://www.myharmonyhouse.org/

Get yourself away from the situation immediately, then find yourself an attorney. The shelter may be able to provide you resources to one or advice.

Edited by yuna628

K-1 - AOS & ROC Timeline  - Immigration and the Health Exchange Price of Love in the UK Thinking of Returning to UK?

 

First met: 12/31/04 - Engaged: 9/24/09
Filed I-129F: 10/4/14 - Packet received: 10/7/14
NOA 1 email + ARN assigned: 10/10/14 (hard copy 10/17/14)
Touched on website (fixed?): 12/9/14 - Poked USCIS: 4/1/15
NOA 2 email: 5/4/15 (hard copy 5/11/15)
Sent to NVC: 5/8/15 - NVC received + #'s assigned: 5/15/15 (estimated)
NVC sent: 5/19/15 - London received/ready: 5/26/15
Packet 3: 5/28/15 - Medical: 6/16/15
Poked London 7/1/15 - Packet 4: 7/2/15
Interview: 7/30/15 - Approved!
AP + Issued 8/3/15 - Visa in hand (depot): 8/6/15
POE: 8/27/15

Wedding: 9/30/15

Filed I-485, I-131, I-765: 11/7/15

Packet received: 11/9/15

NOA 1 txt/email: 11/15/15 - NOA 1 hardcopy: 11/19/15

Bio: 12/9/15

EAD + AP approved: 1/25/16 - EAD received: 2/1/16

RFE for USCIS inability to read vax instructions: 5/21/16 (no e-notification & not sent from local office!)

RFE response sent: 6/7/16 - RFE response received 6/9/16

AOS approved/card in production: 6/13/16  

NOA 2 hardcopy + card sent 6/17/16

Green Card received: 6/18/16

USCIS 120 day reminder notice: 2/22/18

Filed I-751: 5/2/18 - Packet received: 5/4/18

NOA 1:  5/29/18 (12 mo) 8/13/18 (18 mo)  - Bio: 6/27/18

 

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*** Thread moved from K-1 Case Progress subforum to the Effects of Major Family Changes forum, where similar matters are often discussed. ***


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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~Two posts removed for thread hijacking and putting personal and identifiable information out. Locking this one year old thread.~

VJ Moderation


 

 



07/09/2008: F-1 Interview - Successful
05/01/2013: (L) Married (L)

AOS from F-1:
07/09/2013: AOS package (I-130/I-485/I-756/I-131) fedexed
09/25/2013: AOS Interview with my husband at Milwaukee, WI
03/03/2014: AOS Approved

I-751 Removal of Conditions:

11/13/2015: Received reminder notice dated 11/08 from USCIS to apply for ROC
Day 00 - 12/04/2015: Mailed I-751 package to CSC via USPS Priority Mail
Day 03 - 12/07/2015: I-751 package delivered
Day 05 - 12/09/2015: Check cashed
Day 07 - 12/11/2015: NOA1 received dated 12/07/15
Day 22 - 12/26/2015: Biometric appointment notice received dated 12/19/15
Day 35 - 01/08/2016: Biometric appointment

Day 235 - 07/26/2016: Approved (E-notification of Card Production)

Day 238 - 07/29/2016: Status changed to 'Card Was Mailed to Me'

Day 241 - 08/01/2016: CSC returned original docs that were submitted at the time of application.

Day 241 - 08/01/2016: New status update 'Card was picked up by the United States Postal Service' Priority Mail 2-Day with tracking number provided.

Day 243 - 08/03/2016: Received 10 year Green Card

Day 255 - 08/15/2016: Received NOA2 with approval dated 07/26/2016

Click here for a sample of my cover letter, list of evidence, package assembly & shipping box

Click here for a sample of my I-751 notarized affidavit from a friend

 

 

N-400 Naturalization:

12/03/2016: Eligible

Day 00: 12/12/2016 Mailed N-400 to Phoenix, AZ lockbox via USPS Priority Express

Day 01: 12/13/2016 N-400 application delivered

Day 03: 12/15/2016 Credit card charged

Day 07: 12/19/2016 Text & e-mail notification received with a NBC receipt #

Day 11: 12/23/2016 NOA received via mail with priority date 12/13/16

Day 16: 12/28/2016 Received E-mail notification reg. biometrics scheduling

Day 19: 12/31/2016 Received Biometric notice via mail with notice date 12/24/2016

Day 32: 01/13/2017 Biometric appointment

Day 53: 02/03/2017 Received e-mail notification stating I am "in line" for interview scheduling

Day 144: 05/05/2017 Filed an e-request that interview notice was not yet mailed to me

Day 148: 05/09/2017 Received e-mail notification that interview has been scheduled after being in line for 95 days

Day 151: 05/12/2017 Received N-400 Interview notice via USPS

Day 183: 06/13/2017 N-400 Interview at USCIS Milwaukee, WI field office (Approved!) ***To read about my interview experience, click here***

Day 192: 06/22/2017 Received e-mail notification stating I am placed in line for oath ceremony

Day 206: 07/06/2017 Received e-mail notification stating oath ceremony notice was mailed

Day 210: 07/10/2017 Received oath ceremony notice (N-445) via USPS

Day 227: 07/27/2017 Oath Ceremony at Milwaukee, WI!

Dual citizen (France & U.S.A) / OCI card holder

 

Day 00: 07/27/2017 U.S. passport application at Milwaukee, WI (routine processing)

Day 05: 08/01/2017 Passport application locator number provided

Day 06: 08/02/2017 Checks cashed

Day 12: 08/08/2017 Received 2 e-mails stating that passport processing is over and it has been mailed with tracking # provided

Day 15: 08/11/2017 Received passport book via Priority Mail

Day 18: 08/14/2017 Received passport card via First Class Mail

Day 22: 08/18/2017 Received naturalization certificate back via Priority Mail / Updated citizenship status with SSA
 

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