Fiance decides 2 days before the interview that she has a cold and doesn't want to attend interview

[Lee&Ana 88]

My fiance passed her medical at St Lukes and has her embassy interview May 4th at 730am. Today, my birthday incidentally, she tells me she has a cold and won't attend her interview in two days. What kind of nonsense is this? What are my options and can she reschedule even though it is the weekend and not 2 business days before? What if she is a no show? How long to get another appointment and will it affect her chances for being approved? I am tempted to just say the hell with the whole thing. The worst and hardest part of this whole process has been her. Not the nvc, embassy, forms or cost but her. Or this just a case of being nervous and cold feet? I have never seen someone stand in the way of personal progress as I have my fiance.

I almost wish i never got started dating internationally. Too much risk and a questionable reward. Anyone can feel free to chime in and be brutally honest, because there isn't anything that will make me feel worse than I already do. Thanks in advance for reading.

[thespoons 33]

oh no! am sorry.

you're almost done with the process and maybe it could just be cold feet. its just that a simple cold isn't a reason enough to postpone the interview. you need to have a serious one on one with your fiancee... but at the end of the day, you just have to trust your instincts. good luck!

[Adam_M 7]

Hopfully it's just cold feet. Put yourself in her shoes it's kinda nerve Wrecking especially after reading about the way they interview people. But you said she's been in the way of personal progress ? If she's been iffy about this the whole time I would have a seriously conversation with her cause immigration is no joke. Last thing you want is to be mislead by someone you brough in the U.S. I'm just being completely honest with you. My wife would kill to get an interview and she's one of the most shyest and nervous person I've ever met. . Actually shes going to have to take a 20 hour boat ride just to go to the interview because of the war in Yemen and she's not thinking twice. I know it's aittle different in your situation I hope the best for you. Just be 100% honest with her ask her how she really feels

[VOL 425]

Since I am an outsider on this I can give you and objective view.

If she attends the interview then move on with relationship.

If she does not go to the scheduled interview (Unless very sick or emergency) then I would end the relationship asap. Consider yourself lucky that this came out now while she is still in Philippines.

There are just so many choice of finding a good girl in the Philippine, I would be on a plane in a few months on a long vacation to the Philippines.

[Hank_ 9,171]

My fiance passed her medical at St Lukes and has her embassy interview May 4th at 730am. Today, my birthday incidentally, she tells me she has a cold and won't attend her interview in two days. What kind of nonsense is this? What are my options and can she reschedule even though it is the weekend and not 2 business days before? What if she is a no show? How long to get another appointment and will it affect her chances for being approved? I am tempted to just say the hell with the whole thing. The worst and hardest part of this whole process has been her. Not the nvc, embassy, forms or cost but her. Or this just a case of being nervous and cold feet? I have never seen someone stand in the way of personal progress as I have my fiance.

I almost wish i never got started dating internationally. Too much risk and a questionable reward. Anyone can feel free to chime in and be brutally honest, because there isn't anything that will make me feel worse than I already do. Thanks in advance for reading.

I don't know your relationship, don't know what other "bumps in the road" you two have experienced. But I do know this visa process is very stressful & intense on many levels for the Filipina. Then add to it they are packing their life in two suitcases and moving half way around the world to live in a land they know nothing about, leaving their family and all they know behind. This is truly a leap of FAITH. It demands a lot of support, patience and for sure love.... from YOU.

For some this idea of leaving home becomes too much and never complete it, for others after they arrive in the USA they find being away from home is more then they can handle and want to get back on a plane and go back to the Philippines. For most they work through all of this and in time enjoy a wonderful marriage.

If you are unsure, and your fiancee is unsure... as it appears neither of you are very committed to this.....

In answer to your question, if you fiancee is sick and will not attend the interview, get online ASAP and get rescheduled, IF this is still a consideration.

[Lee&Ana 88]

I don't see how you can say I am not committed to this. I will show you how much this has cost me in visa fees. I was at kinkos so much putting together both packages that they were about to ask me to pay rent there.

[Hank_ 9,171]

Commitment to another person is not about spending money and going to kinkos.

Your fiancee is scared S-less ....

[VOL 425]

I don't see how you can say I am not committed to this. I will show you how much this has cost me in visa fees. I was at kinkos so much putting together both packages that they were about to ask me to pay rent there.

More than likely she still has a boyfriend in Philippines.

[Lee&Ana 88]

Hank, what is your idea of being committed? And Vol, what makes u say she has a boyfriend in the Philippines? Just curious.

[VOL 425]

Hank, what is your idea of being committed? And Vol, what makes u say she has a boyfriend in the Philippines? Just curious.

I have seen cases like this before. I have also seen the alternate when the girl gets here from Philippines and they guy is hesitant to marry and it usually due to still having relationship with their x or a gf.

I hope I am wrong about her having a bf, but her deciding last minute to not go to interview is a big red flag.

Her being on the other side of the world and having a 13 hour time difference allows a girl over there to maintain a relationship while she see if her VisaJourney is successful.....

[Team MicVic! 46]

It sounds like she is having second thoughts. After all, the interview is what we all have been praying for and to not go because of a cold sounds a bit fishy. Better that you analyze the relationship now rather than later. Only you know for sure if the love feel genuine or if it's a ticket to America only.

[Sunnyland 639]

I don't know your relationship, don't know what other "bumps in the road" you two have experienced. But I do know this visa process is very stressful & intense on many levels for the Filipina. Then add to it they are packing their life in two suitcases and moving half way around the world to live in a land they know nothing about, leaving their family and all they know behind. This is truly a leap of FAITH. It demands a lot of support, patience and for sure love.... from YOU.

For some this idea of leaving home becomes too much and never complete it, for others after they arrive in the USA they find being away from home is more then they can handle and want to get back on a plane and go back to the Philippines. For most they work through all of this and in time enjoy a wonderful marriage.

If you are unsure, and your fiancee is unsure... as it appears neither of you are very committed to this.....

In answer to your question, if you fiancee is sick and will not attend the interview, get online ASAP and get rescheduled, IF this is still a consideration.

The K1 visa is very stressful and intense for everyone, Filipina or not. I'm from Argentina and when I was doing the K1 I was working full time and balancing family/ friends life with my long distance relationship with my BF (now hubby).

The day of my embassy interview I had to skip work earlier, run to the embassy and then go back to my office work. All this with my "monthly visit" and feeling tired and sick! Then packing my most important things on 2 suitcases and get on a plane for 9 hours! And I don't like travelling on planes at all.

Talk to your GF and if she is not sure or committed, then leave her. You deserve someone that is fully committed otherwise you will wasting your time.

[Karmalious 50]

@originalposter:

Sounds like cold feet. It also sounds like this is not the first "HINT" of something not feeling right or about her not as motivated as you are about this process...

SOMETHING TO CONSIDER:

*** Can you imagine the stress/uncertainty involved with completely relocating to a foreign country, especially committing to a person with whom you do not know fully....

Imagine the stress! The only thing I could suggest for you to do ( if you still believe there is hope in your relationship ), is talk with her!!! Try to find out if she is concerned about something. Try to find out if there is something bothering her. Give her the option to admit that she does not have a cold/influenza/illness by allowing her to talk about what is really on her mind....

If you are able to have an open conversation and you are able to address HER concerns, then you might have a chance to turn this around....

Coincidentally, she may or may not have already made up her mind. And she is choosing to "run away" at the latest possible moment. The only way you will know is by asking her sincerely.

I AGREE with LEE & ANA;

1. Dont jump to conclusions

2. Dont let others on the forum harrass you by filling your mind with doubt and uncertainty

3. Talk to your fiancee!, thats all you need to do. ( AND TRUST YOUR GUT )

And yes commitment DOES include financial support and the ability to see-through this maze of paperwork and stress. HOWEVER, if only 1 person is committed......it wont work.

Edited May 2, 2015 by Karmalious

[Hank_ 9,171]

The K1 visa is very stressful and intense for everyone, Filipina or not. I'm from Argentina and when I was doing the K1 I was working full time and balancing family/ friends life with my long distance relationship with my BF (now hubby).

The day of my embassy interview I had to skip work earlier, run to the embassy and then go back to my office work. All this with my "monthly visit" and feeling tired and sick! Then packing my most important things on 2 suitcases and get on a plane for 9 hours! And I don't like travelling on planes at all.

Talk to your GF and if she is not sure or committed, then leave her. You deserve someone that is fully committed otherwise you will wasting your time.

I think you meant this for the OP.... my only GF is my motorcycle... my wife won't be happy otherwise

[Hank_ 9,171]

Hank, what is your idea of being committed? And Vol, what makes u say she has a boyfriend in the Philippines? Just curious.

Are you looking for an argument or ....???? This is what you posted, I was just making comment, you don't have to like it, in fact you asked for any and all comments:

"Anyone can feel free to chime in and be brutally honest, ...... "