Our own thread

[Pennycat 880]

Why would that post be deleted? I thought this site was to help people. That post seems like it would be beneficial for more people to know about, namely CSC people. I would imagine there are many good-natured CSC folks who'd love to help out the TSCers some.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Not my world, I just live in it.

[av8or1 246]

Why would that post be deleted? I thought this site was to help people. That post seems like it would be beneficial for more people to know about, namely CSC people. I would imagine there are many good-natured CSC folks who'd love to help out the TSCers some.

Having directly experienced the rather strange decision making made by the VJ mods, this doesn't surprise me. Heck, they'll probably read this post and delete it too.

[yuna628 9,530]

Since people are being removed from other threads because of bickering & negative comments- I am going to start my own read for those people to safely vent since that's not allowed on CSC threads. This is what I want to say to all the people who feel that the petitioners stuck at TSC are whiners or negative......when you've been waiting over 7 MONTHS to get an approval...let me know how you feel. You cannot even begin to compare a 3 week approval against a 7 month approval and I am so sick of seeing people on here criticize those of us at TSC who are beyond frustrated when we see a 3 week approval and get upset over it. You have no idea what it is like to be separated from the love of your life for 7 months and longer. You have no idea what it's like to spend holidays, birthdays, anniversaries away from your loved one. You have no idea what it's like to be treated as a second class citizen in your own country. I'm sorry if I'm not jumping for joy for all the hundreds of people getting approvals at CSC in 3 weeks when I've been waiting almost 6 months! And yet, we're selfish and negative for feeling that way. How many of you at CSC have had to go to speak to your Senator or Congressman more than once just to find out where you're petition is at? How many of you have had to start a YouTube channel just to have your voices hopefully heard by smeone in this government who actually gives a #######? How many of you have had to contact the New York Times to write an article about the unbelievable discrepancy in processing times? And yet I'm supposed to be happy for someone who gets an approval after 3 weeks?! Put yourself in the shoes of people who have been waiting for MONTHS! So this thread I'm making for people who would like to vent without being called negative or bitter because it is ridiculous that we are supposed to feel bad about the fact that we are upset over the discrepancy in processing times. And any CSC commentary that is negative to what I'm saying should be removed from this thread as were comments from a CSC thread. I am so over being told what I can and cannot feel because I'm "supposed" to be happy for 3 week approvals. How people do not see how broken our immigration system is is beyond me. But I guess with a 3 week approval you would really know nothing about that. This is for my fellow TSC members who are as fed up as I am & want a place to vent. And yes- venting DOES help contrary to what others say!

Here's the thing really in a nutshell.

I've been at the long distance thing with my guy for over ten years now. So you'd think that waiting what will probably turn into another year before he's on his plane with visa in hand so that we can get married should be simple, right? After all we've waited this long. But it's not easy, it never will be easy. The waiting is absolutely killing me. It's killing him. I sit up now late at night waiting to see who is getting approved and when, hoping that maybe our number will be up soon. People are constantly on my case asking when the wedding will be, and I periodically spend nights crying my eyes out. My fiancé is in a high-stress job, and will try to continue working all the way up to when he has his visa. We've been hit hard this month, from a friend being diagnosed with cancer, to a family member of his dying (of which I mourn myself for once again I am not able to be there with him to comfort him and his family at the funeral), to his sister being robbed by a thug wielding a knife. I don't have the money to drop to fly over there yet again to be there, and it kills me. It kills me to see him upset and sad and I can do absolutely nothing at this distance but try and listen to him... and try and wait this thing out. I'm terrified that the longer everything is delayed that the venue I've got won't be available (probably an illogical thought but you never know) or that people won't be able to fly here. Getting married is supposed to be a happy thing and the immigration process and government claptrap has long been a source of infuriation for me on BOTH sides of the pond.

But at the same time, I consider myself fortunate that as bad and agitating and ridiculous as this process is -- he can actually come here. My country allows him to come here without too many obstacles but enduring this wait and further ridiculous formalities. The same cannot be said for his own country, and I'm sure a lot of other countries out there. For this reason all of us are, in a way blessed in the smallest of manners. It doesn't feel like it, it will never feel like it, but it is.

I get tired of the bickering on here. I honestly don't care how fast someone gets approved at their particular center -- what I would prefer is if both service centers operated in a fair process of speed, and that we were not pushed to the back of the line (which directives show we clearly, and very callously are). I'm always happy for them. Because it means that person is able to be with the person that they love. And I cannot allow my bitterness at this situation put a damper on their feeling of joy. Because even if one person's boat gets there faster than ours, we're all in the same mindnumbing sea. By the time they get to AOSing and ROCing they will experience it. We all know what it's like to be without the one we love. No one at the service center, those directors in charge, nor anyone in the congress or senate, nor even the president himself will comprehend what we go through. That's where the feelings of anger should be directed at. That's where the change has to start.

The average person hasn't any idea what it's like to be in our shoes. But if we lose our ability to shut out the noise or empathize with others who may not have any idea what we are going through in a tactful manner then what is left? Endless bickering. I've even seen bickering among those who are stuck waiting in the same hell-hole, and for what? When they are finally through the fire and with their loved ones, I'm sure they will cease to care.

Bitter? Yes indeed. We should be bitter. We have every reason to be. But not at each other on this forum. If it is, the frustration is being directed at the wrong place. I think, deep down, we can all recognize that.

Two suggestions, to take or leave:

-- See this thread

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/410945-k-1-journey-completed/

-- Use this time to become a student of the future process, and to prepare the beneficiary for whatever his or her goals in life will be upon arrival (school, employment, etc.).

With all due respect TBone, what you endured, and what another poster endured recently (the one that had the horrendous stokes interview comes to mind) is a symptom of a larger problem that we all know needs to be reformed. What you and they went through, and even what we are going through now (however slighter in respects) are aspects of something that is broken and unfair.

Many of us, that aren't here trying to do this hap-hazardly have already studied this process. They already know what their goals will be. In fact, if you had no idea what your goals would be before you even started this process, you probably should be re-examining how serious you're taking it.

Thanks, TBone. However, I think the issue here is the *non stop* "we are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BLEEEEEEEEESED" for getting NOA2 in 10 days, followed by whining "OMG sooooooooooo lucky, I had to wait THEEEEE WEEEEEKSSSSS" and then someone still waiting after 6 months chimes with a "dude, chill. 3 weeks is awesome" in and responded to with a chorus a "be patient, everyone's case is different. We're just SUPER ORGANIZED", and INSISTING that it's personal organization that got them through CSC at lightening speed whereas all of us at TSC must have applied via smoke signal and clay tablet.. It's getting old, I personally think that at least a bit of it is mischief-makers looking to ruffle feathers and laugh about it, and this (I believe) was started to be a venting thread.

Also, in terms of preparing the beneficiary. I can't speak for all but for US, we didn't even talk seriously about marriage until we'd already talked seriously about goals and direction in life and how that might play out if one or the other of us moved to the other country. We're ready to be married, living together and starting a life together. That, to us, was the standard *before* engagement. Add in the terrible expense of maintaining two households and the fact that right now as I type this my fiance is off for (another) medical appointment to see if there's anything they can do for him (nothing gross or life threatening but something to be fixed) and I fully expect that answer to be "not here" and I *know* that there is stuff to be done HERE. It is just flipping frustrating to be told to calm down and be patient by someone who didn't even have time to have a freaking menstrual cycle between dropping their application off in the mail and getting to NVC, whereas we are looking at a *minimum* of 16 rent/mortgage payments.

Edited to add: not saying that anyone currently complaining is the first or the last to have this happen. And my and my fiance's expenses and medical problems are not anywhere near as drastic as others. I'm just identifying the root cause of the frustrating of being patted on the head and being told to be a good girl by people who have *no clue* what facing a prolonged wait is like. And from those who have been there, done that? I can only hope to one day have your perspective. I'm sure in hindsight this is all small beans. That doesn't help the immediacy of the situation at hand or the utter cluelessness (or trollish behavior, depending) of the folks in question.

Insisting that it's the personal organization that got them through, is laughable yes. It's always laughable when you see certain odd theories like this - akin to a lucky rabbit foot ya know? Let them be smug, it's not worth being troubled about it. We've all got bigger things to be troubled about. It just means that the person hasn't got an honest clue, and if that's what they really believe, there's no sense in argument. No one likes being trolled. No one likes being patronized. But to be fair, a happy person doesn't like being yelled for being happy. We don't know their situation or what they've been through to get to their approval, or how long they have *actually* been separated from their loved one. And it's times like those, when we're frustrated and angry in our own situations that it's probably better not to look at those threads or even respond. It is NOT their fault their case got approved so quickly, and it is not their fault ours is still sitting on someone's desk waiting for them to look at it when they get back from playing Candy Crush Saga.

The subcommittee hearing on the 3rd with the USCIS left me with a bad taste in my mouth, and I won't long ever forget it. I hope everyone in this thread will get their approvals soon.. I really truly do.

[RobertandNene 1]

Yeah. Or a reply to "well there's nothing we can do to help TSC" with a "actually, there is something you can do to help TSC! there's some folks working on it, there's a guy, a guy actually in a position to get some answers and make things move, just needs some proof that USCIS is lying about CSC processing times (they admit to long TSC processing times, but claim that two months or less approvals at CSC is a lie), so, um, snap a pick of your NOA1 and NOA2? Won't hurt you, dude needs proof, easy as pie, thanks :)"--deleted!

Spot on!

[Pennycat 880]

Insisting that it's the personal organization that got them through, is laughable yes. It's always laughable when you see certain odd theories like this - akin to a lucky rabbit foot ya know? Let them be smug, it's not worth being troubled about it. We've all got bigger things to be troubled about. It just means that the person hasn't got an honest clue, and if that's what they really believe, there's no sense in argument. No one likes being trolled. No one likes being patronized. But to be fair, a happy person doesn't like being yelled for being happy. We don't know their situation or what they've been through to get to their approval, or how long they have *actually* been separated from their loved one. And it's times like those, when we're frustrated and angry in our own situations that it's probably better not to look at those threads or even respond. It is NOT their fault their case got approved so quickly, and it is not their fault ours is still sitting on someone's desk waiting for them to look at it when they get back from playing Candy Crush Saga.

The subcommittee hearing on the 3rd with the USCIS left me with a bad taste in my mouth, and I won't long ever forget it. I hope everyone in this thread will get their approvals soon.. I really truly do.

Right. Which is why when the post *isn't negative* but is just mentioning the problem and asking for help...... And plus, if negatively isn't allowed (which apparently "wow, 10 days, I've been waiting 256" counts as netative), why is continued smugness about "we're just so organized"?

And again to the troll issue. I'd like to know exactly how many of these newbie profiles who fly through in less than 3 weeks (and are never seen before or after) and can't stop starting new threads all about their luck about it and making veiled insults at others not as fortunate or smart or organized as they are....I'd like to know how many unique IP addresses are associated with them? Just sayin'.

[Wooderz 314]

And again to the troll issue. I'd like to know exactly how many of these newbie profiles who fly through in less than 3 weeks (and are never seen before or after) and can't stop starting new threads all about their luck about it and making veiled insults at others not as fortunate or smart or organized as they are....I'd like to know how many unique IP addresses are associated with them? Just sayin'.

Me too. I was thinking about this earlier actually... before I got side tracked with my work problems. Project for the mods?

[Cody and Daisy 373]

I'm not about to spit on anyone's parade or slow down the meaning of this thread.

I fully understand why this is made, and I regret some things I've said in the past.

So I didn't want to post here because I am one of those fortunate CSC people who got approved quickly and I feel awful at how long those at TSC wait.

But as for the newbie comment about those who first join and post when they get approved quickly. I was one of those and that's because I sat at the back and read only what I needed to help me.

So I at first did not know there was a huge difference between TSC and CSC. But obviously after all these months I do now.

So you don't have to be happy for those at CSC, you don't have to congratulate them and you could hate them for being approved faster.

But I do ask not to judge those who have. Just because I didn't wait long does not mean I wasn't in a long distance relationship long, I was in this for 8 years before we got approved. It's just as hard.

And I fully expected to wait months and months to be approved not knowing how fast CSC was.

Be frustrated, be annoyed, but aim that at TSC. Not at people on here who deserve to be happy about their approval just as much as you.

We are/ were all in this process together. And the constant bickering at each other does nothing, the constant put downs on other peoples approvals because of the unfairness of the service centre is not fair on the individuals here.

Edited March 17, 2015 by Cody and Daisy

[yuna628 9,530]

Right. Which is why when the post *isn't negative* but is just mentioning the problem and asking for help...... And plus, if negatively isn't allowed (which apparently "wow, 10 days, I've been waiting 256" counts as netative), why is continued smugness about "we're just so organized"?

And again to the troll issue. I'd like to know exactly how many of these newbie profiles who fly through in less than 3 weeks (and are never seen before or after) and can't stop starting new threads all about their luck about it and making veiled insults at others not as fortunate or smart or organized as they are....I'd like to know how many unique IP addresses are associated with them? Just sayin'.

Well, the why could either be from ignorance or trolling. Or something else, which if I'm paranoid I can think about but rather not voice. Setting that aside, if I'm feeling in a kinder mood I'd chalk it up to complete and utter ignorance as to the process, but yes human nature dictates it could be trolling.

Unfortunately, in a previous profession involved in forum administration, you wouldn't believe how many persons would make multiple profiles... with the purpose of trolling. One guy had like 20. He literally made threads to respond and carry on conversations with himself. You'd hope that a place more seriously minded wouldn't have that behaviour... but...

Not saying that the ''waiting 10 days, I've been waiting 256'' comment is inherently negative. But I could see someone getting butthurt over it if they felt it snarky and decided to complain as it deeply crushed their inner soul. ;-)

Cody and Daisy: I understand completely where you're coming from. I don't like people attacking each other unfairly for being new, or being uneducated, or expressing happiness. That's why I'd like to see the anger directed into something greater that might help everyone out in the long run. Some people here have been working on that.

Edited March 17, 2015 by yuna628

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Being frustrated about unfair processing times and only complaining about it on VJ does nothing. Complaining about how unfair this process is on VJ does nothing. Ask your self,

When did you tweet about this?

When did you comment on a Facebook?

Contact a news agency?

Contact your State Rep and say, "hey! What about us?"

Post a video on YouTube?

No one, especially normal USCs will EVER know what this nightmare is like, nor what happens behind the walls of this process because the people going through the process never let their voices be heard.

[Pennycat 880]

I'm not about to spit on anyone's parade or slow down the meaning of this thread.

I fully understand why this is made, and I regret some things I've said in the past.

So I didn't want to post here because I am one of those fortunate CSC people who got approved quickly and I feel awful at how long those at TSC wait.

But as for the newbie comment about those who first join and post when they get approved quickly. I was one of those and that's because I sat at the back and read only what I needed to help me.

So I at first did not know there was a huge difference between TSC and CSC. But obviously after all these months I do now.

So you don't have to be happy for those at CSC, you don't have to congratulate them and you could hate them for being approved faster.

But I do ask not to judge those who have. Just because I didn't wait long does not mean I wasn't in a long distance relationship long, I was in this for 8 years before we got approved. It's just as hard.

And I fully expected to wait months and months to be approved not knowing how fast CSC was.

Be frustrated, be annoyed, but aim that at TSC. Not at people on here who deserve to be happy about their approval just as much as you.

We are/ were all in this process together. And the constant bickering at each other does nothing, the constant put downs on other peoples approvals because of the unfairness of the service centre is not fair on the individuals here.

Who is judging people who went through quickly? I see NO put downs on other's approvals. I see frustration, request for help, or correcting of false information (more on that later) but zero putdowns.

People here are complaining about those who gloat and are super smug and condescending about being approved quickly, which if that doesn't apply to you, the judgement doesn't apply either. Same with the "trollish" profiles, and I think if you were on the receiving end of this, you'd see it too (I am specifically not talking about you here, and I'd tell you what seems trollish about them but they're undoubtedly reading this and will just switch up their game).

And people are largely complaining about the moderation of this topic. Apparently it's taboo to say "congrats, and hey can you help with the TSC effort" (which, btw, it would be nice if folks could take a break from their good fortune and *do* something about the problem, as many claim to care and few chose to act but that's another thread).

It's apparently also taboo to say "congrats, but hey, it actually wasn't YOU it was CSC". By claiming that you went fast because your relationship was "more real", you or the fiance are less risky, that you did the paperwork better, smarter, whatever (as many do), that *necessarily* puts others down AND is a gross misunderstanding of the issue, and is a disservice to newbies who may actually think that they'll get through TSC in a few weeks if they're just low-risk and good at paperwork (ahem, I was one of them. Delayed petitioning by 3 months due to this misunderstanding, trying for a B2 to visit first, figuring no big deal, it's better to try to visit first anyway. HUGE mistake and one I'll probably regret for years).

Worse, and most harmfully, that line of discussion plays right into USCIS's incorrect excuse for inaction that "every case is different" and that's why some are approved faster than others. No. No. The 7 month wait is not because it will take them 7 months to weed through our complex form, and do extensive background checks and re-checks. Not at all. Our case will be looked at for 15-20 minutes just like everyone else's. It is a line at the DMV. The line in Window A is 5 hours months, the line at Window B is 5 minutes and they won't permit anyone to change lines. It's not that everyone in Window B is more prepared, or a better driver, or doesn't need an eye exam. It's a line.

THIS is the fundamental problem with the conversation between the customers, USCIS and Congress. USCIS tells Congress that (a) 5+ months is normal for all across the board (obviously, it's not) and (b) those who are delayed are delayed for some problem with their application or complexity of their case. Which again, is false. Our applications don't even get looked at for 7 months, how can that be a problem with us? So if that's what you consider a putdown, sorry. But it is just so grossly inaccurate and, frankly, insulting and damaging to the cause that politely pointing out that it was the luck of CSC and NOT anything in one's control or anything to do with one's case is necessary. And if that somehow spoils someone's dreamworld lightening fast approval, well ok. May the lack of hollow congratulations over a bureaucratic stepping stone from strangers on the internet be the worst thing your marriage ever faces.

We ARE frustrated with TSC. We're tired of having salt rubbed in the wound by CSC filers (again, not ALL just SOME, who I honestly think know better). We're also tired of hearing "we care, we feel bad!" and then hearing crickets when there's actually something you could do to HELP, if they chose to.

Finally, everyone's relationship is different. Most things about a relationship are within one's control (choose to stay long distance for years, chose for one or the other to move, chose to break up etc etc). Immigration is completely out of one's control. And while that's not necessarily *harder* (I don't envy having been in the position to be apart for 8 years, that can't have been easy, particularly if it was by choice), it is a fundamentally different problem which I think heaps a unique brand of frustration on top of an already very difficult situation.

Edited March 17, 2015 by CatherineA

[Pennycat 880]

First of all before you attack me again, threaten to punch me again, or call me stupid.

I apologised for saying you have done nothing.

And I have nothing more to say about it.

If you don't want to be an adult and continue to act childish towards me when I admitted what I said was wrong and apologised for then please do not respond to me or talk to me.

I am on the side of those waiting at TSC, I feel the pain you all feel, but it gives you no right to talk down to those at CSC who cannot help any of this.

I'd appreciate her comment and mine being deleted. Not In a harsh way but this isn't needed.

You can, though. Assistance has been requested and has either been moderated out of existence or ignored.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

Me too. I was thinking about this earlier actually... before I got side tracked with my work problems. Project for the mods?

Mods can't check for unique IP addresses. Only the admin can, and even then, only in situations which are deemed sufficiently serious (i.e. disrupting the boards systematically, or where there are circumstances that look clearly like sock puppets are at play).

Sorry to hear of your troubles, y'all.

[kimmygeee 7]

It really is totally unfair I just hit my 6 month mark yesterday. We were thinking that my fiancé would be here by now when we first started the process :/ again, it's nice that people in CSC got approved quickly but we can't help feel frusturated with this process. Natural sentiment of those who are in TSC and we should be able to vent. I really appreciate that this website exists.. it's nice to have people who understands the pain and to also vent with.

On the bright side, the wait is certainly worth it. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we are still sane because we are anxious to start a future with our other half.

[av8or1 246]

First of all before you attack me again, threaten to punch me again, or call me stupid.

I apologised for saying you have done nothing.

And I have nothing more to say about it.

If you don't want to be an adult and continue to act childish towards me when I admitted what I said was wrong and apologised for then please do not respond to me or talk to me.

I am on the side of those waiting at TSC, I feel the pain you all feel, but it gives you no right to talk down to those at CSC who cannot help any of this.

I'd appreciate her comment and mine being deleted. Not In a harsh way but this isn't needed.

You can, though. Assistance has been requested and has either been moderated out of existence or ignored.

CatherineA is correct Cody and Daisy, you CAN help, but another aspect of the CSC filers that is frustrating is that they don't care enough to do so. And not all CSC filers are "bad", as CatherineA has mentioned. It's the CSC filers who gloat, make ridiculous claims about their content organization or preparation, make other obscene claims that there is no processing time difference, and the one that irritates me the MOST OF ALL is when a CSC filer complains about having to wait a whole 3 weeks when someone else was approved in 2. The bottom line is that unless a CSC filer has waited as long as we have (and to be fair there are a few), then they have ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING. Personally I also get annoyed at those "Thank God my petition went to CSC" threads and/or posts, as I find them overwhelmingly insensitive and therefore arrogant.

The bottom line Cody and Daisy is that if the CSC filers don't do any of those things, then I for one am happy for their quick approvals. Hell at least someone is having success at this racket. Unfortunately many CSC filers do end up doing one or more of those things and to-date NONE of them have helped us TSC filers out by sending us their NOA1 and NOA2 pics/emails so that we can take it back to our representatives as proof of the processing time imbalance.

[AverysMom 76]

When I first started the process I refused to look at CSC threads and limited my time here to about once a week, I once even went three weeks without checking in here. I hated all of the "OMG so happy I got sent to CSC!", "My fiancé will be here for Christmas!", "I've been waiting two weeks but it could be worse, I could've ended up at TSC!" Ummmm great because some of us DID end up at TSC and some us won't be with our fiance for the holidays...or for the birth of our baby. My timeline below doesn't even reflect the three attempts I made at an expedite, the three inquiries I put through with my Congressman just to be denied and told "there still reviewing your case and its within the set timeframe comtact us after six months blah blah blah". Did I mention I signed petitions and emailed the President as well? All to no avail. Before I knew it I was approved and even though my attempts to bring light to the discrepancy between service centers did absolutely nothing for me I know it is a part of the collective voice that government officials are hearing from all of us unfortunate to end up at the "bad" service center-- WE WILL NOT TAKE THIS QUIETLY!

My advice is to stay away from CSC posts, ignore the "wow! we're approved in 24 hours posts, and just keep busy. If you can afford to take a trip to be with your love go and do that. Don't let the negative eat at you, if you need to step away do that because before you know it that NOA2 will finally come and everything moves extremely fast after that. You may think you know everything about the next steps but make sure you stay on top of it because for us with beneficiaries in DR the whole system changed January 2015 and everything I studied for was blown out the door as I was now a part of the first people to go through the new system. Stay on top of all of the changes, the DO happen. Well this was longer than I expected it would be but I have a ton of respect for you filers at TSC. Keep writing, calling, emailing, signing, etc. Do whatever it takes to help the next batch of people, God bless! xo