The most insane human alive.

[mRx 16]

Ok, so im standing out on the balcony in my apartment complex, and theres this old guy across the way who always is out on his balcony, and occasionaly we make small talk. Well tonight im out there with a beer, and he invites me over for one. I figured, what the hell, so i went over there. He told me the fridge was full of beer. So i looked in the fridge and noticed that all the beer bottles were opened. He said he had just opened them all. Well I gave him the benefit of the doubt and tried one. And it was water. All of them, filled with water. Before i could say anything, the phone rang, and it was his lover, from prison. According to him, he goes to womens prisons to help prisoners find God or whatever, and then becomes lovers with them when they are released. Now im kind of feeling uncomfortable. When he got off the phone, he quickly told me how many koreans he killed during the korean war, and since i didnt care to hear his war story, i changed the subject and asked him when he retired. Well he said he retired 57 years ago. And he has a 55 year old son. Now mind you, this man is definetely under 60, in good physical health, completely coherent, and above all, the guy was sober. He is just completely psychotic.

I finally called him out about the water in the beer bottles, and he said that Jesus turns water into wine. I said "boy look at the time, i gotta go" and he said that he was Gods lamb and i left.

Im actually pretty scared to go on the balcony again.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

TP his balcony tonight.

[mRx 16]

TP his balcony tonight.

no way man, he may sick his bible thumpin prison butch on me.

[Robor007 0]

Ok, so im standing out on the balcony in my apartment complex, and theres this old guy across the way who always is out on his balcony, and occasionaly we make small talk. Well tonight im out there with a beer, and he invites me over for one. I figured, what the hell, so i went over there. He told me the fridge was full of beer. So i looked in the fridge and noticed that all the beer bottles were opened. He said he had just opened them all. Well I gave him the benefit of the doubt and tried one. And it was water. All of them, filled with water. Before i could say anything, the phone rang, and it was his lover, from prison. According to him, he goes to womens prisons to help prisoners find God or whatever, and then becomes lovers with them when they are released. Now im kind of feeling uncomfortable. When he got off the phone, he quickly told me how many koreans he killed during the korean war, and since i didnt care to hear his war story, i changed the subject and asked him when he retired. Well he said he retired 57 years ago. And he has a 55 year old son. Now mind you, this man is definetely under 60, in good physical health, completely coherent, and above all, the guy was sober. He is just completely psychotic.

I finally called him out about the water in the beer bottles, and he said that Jesus turns water into wine. I said "boy look at the time, i gotta go" and he said that he was Gods lamb and i left.

Im actually pretty scared to go on the balcony again.

Holy ####### that beats my bro's neighbor who went off his meds. He told him that he threw away his PC because he knew 'they' were using it to track him. One day when my bro was working out in his yard the neighbor came over to ask if it was okay to order a pizza to his house instead. He said he didn't want 'them' to put his address into their database. Oh, and he's a postal worker - not kidding. (DISCLAIMER: No offense to my friendly postal workers who do great job of getting my USCIS mail to me!)

The good news is he went back on his meds and he and his family are all happy again.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Think maybe he had already emptied all the bottles???

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

TP his balcony tonight.

no way man, he may sick his bible thumpin prison butch on me.

Well damn dude if you're that scared of him there's only one thing to do. Move.

[mRx 16]

Normally if someone is crazy like that, you can point that person out of a crowd and just say "hey, that guys a real whackjob"

But with my neighbor, there are no warning signs. Hes educated, talks clearly, looks you straight in the eye, can hold a conversation, etc. Thats what freaks me out about him. How can someone who is completely nuts, cover it up well enough to fool me for a normal person?

[bostonparis 0]

Good thing you got out when you did. They might have found your head next to those beer bottles in the fridge!

[payxibka 10,044]

Normally if someone is crazy like that, you can point that person out of a crowd and just say "hey, that guys a real whackjob"

But with my neighbor, there are no warning signs. Hes educated, talks clearly, looks you straight in the eye, can hold a conversation, etc. Thats what freaks me out about him. How can someone who is completely nuts, cover it up well enough to fool me for a normal person?

You are living proof....You have been fooling us for months....

[SoL. 0]

Good thing you got out when you did. They might have found your head next to those beer bottles in the fridge!

That's nuts, the guy is nuts. The whole thing sounds like a horror movie to me.

Water to turn into alcohol? How convenient that would be!

Edited January 25, 2007 by Sol-de-Verano

[kitkat1 5]

Oh Matt - that was hilarious. So sorry it was true!

p.s. yes, stay off the balcony please

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

He sounds schizophrenic.

[sercontigo 1]

Good thing you got out when you did. They might have found your head next to those beer bottles in the fridge!

ROFL

[MissStacey 1]

He does sound like he has a mental illness. It's sad.

But if he turns out to be some serial killer- don't worry, they never kill their neighbors.

[ELW 5]

occasionaly we make small talk.

It's time to go back just making small talk on the balcony - no more visits! He sounds harmless but unscrewed somewhere.

Thanks for the laugh though.