Are you glad you did it or would you do it differently?

[Pam&Mbaye 0]

I thought I would start a new thread. I don't know if I will get a response on this question but I would like to know what others who are going through or completed the journey think about the question I pose:

Knowing what you know now (no matter where you are in the journey) would you do this again? Would you sponsor someone to come to the USA or would you do things differently?

As for my answer to this question, if I had to do it all again to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't do this EVER again. I love my husband dearly but I wouldn't do this visa thing again. I believe I was naive concerning the journey, I didn't think about living life in limbo, waiting for mail day in and day out from the USCIS or NVC and being at the mercy of some CO, who at the end of it all, have the ability to not grant a visa to your loved one.

Would I do it differently? Yes I would, I'd immigrate to another country (I still might have to do that if my husband isn't granted a visa), I'd cash in my 401K, take the degrees off my wall and move. I've always liked to travel and this to me would be no different other then this time I would stay in another country. Those are my thoughts only and different people are in different situations, but as for me and my situation I would NEVER do this again, and that is being completely honest.

[Fandango 1,440]

I would have married him years sooner

[raymaga 25]

I am the immigrant, not the U.S. citizen, but if I had to do it all over again, I think I would have to say no as well. I, too, love my husband more than anyone or anything in this world, but I miss Canada, my two grown sons, and all my many dear friends that I left behind.

Even though I can't imagine my life without my husband in it, if I could turn back the clock, I would never have agreed to meet people from outside Canada on the dating website I belonged to. If I had never met my husband, I couldn't miss him now.

But, because I cannot turn back the clock, I am trying to make the best of my situation and being thankful for the wonderful man I share my life with, the love he gives me, the beautiful lifestyle we share together, and the years of joy we will share together here in the U.S. I also have to be very thankful for the short distance to Canada (3 hours) to see my 2 sons and my friends if I want to.

I'm just being perfectly honest here too!!!

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Well, I didn't need this process to be with my husband - we were living a happy life together in London. I got a great opportunity for work and thought I'd be a fool not to take it (lots of money, excellent oportunity). Although the past 18 months back in the US have been good for the most part (though the career decision was maybe not the right one, all things considered), I would never have accepted the offer if I had known everything we would have to go through, especially with immigration -- we would have been just fine over there.

[Alex+R 0]

No. When we filed we didn't know Rey was eligible to work in England or Portugal or Ireland or any other EU country. Now we do. If something happens with our visa, we honestly will probably not fight very hard and just move to Europe.

[Looking4Wife 0]

I have no regrets about meeting my wife and falling in love with her, but I would approach the relationship differently:

I would definitely delay the wedding/marriage until I was in a better financial position to spend more time in her country. By more time, I mean at least 1 or more months at a time (and not being apart from her for more than 30 days). Preferably, I would remain in her country most of the time throughout the visa process.

[Ta Ta 1]

I don't think I would have the emotional endurance to do this ever again !

[limah 1]

I think there is a difference in doing it "ever again" and doing it "in the first place", right?

I believe that I leapt before I looked. I love my husband to death. I wish I was more knowledgable about the whole process before we started.

Little things I believe have screwed my husband and I over, like the phone bills are in my brothers name. So I had to look for my Islamic name change papers, from 78'. (I HAD BEEN HOLDING ON THE THOSE PAPERS FOR A REASON, OBVIOUSLY!!!) I was born in 77', oookkk? My mother converted to Islam in 78' and my name went from Houston to Al-Islam. Thats my brothers last name, too. So to "prove" that he is my brother, I had to get a copy of my mothers death certificate to show how Houston and Al-Islam relate.... Then I had to prove that we lived together, my brother and I. That meant copy the lease.... WHAAT THA....???

Ain't that some doggy poop? Not to mention the other BUUUUUUULLL SHIIIIII******, I am going through with congresspeople and senators and neighborhood organizations...........

I feel like I am in a friggin circus, jumpin thru hoops and doing backflips, (and i'm not all that flexible, yall'!)

But, I gotta say, since I am in it, I am in it to win it!

Would I do it again, no. I dont see divorce in my future, I absolutely will not marry again. Well, technically I have to when he finally makes it here. But hes the same man..... besides, in over a year, we have never had an argument. Disagreements, yes, but they are so mild, I cant really even call it that!

Would I do it in the first place... well, I already did!

Limah

Edited January 11, 2007 by limah

[Caladan 19]

I'm not sure I understand the question with respect to my own situation. I love C. I want to marry C. If we didn't have to do this stupid paperwork, I'd be very happy. If I found out we needed to do more paperwork, I'd be pissed but we'd do it. If the magical citizenship fairy waved her wand and we discovered he was American, we'd be thrilled.

But....would I have not dated him or chosen not to meet him if I'd known that this process would be a complete pain in the keister? I don't know that I understand that. I wasn't looking for a Canadian or a spouse or a boyfriend, so, yeah, probably, would have done the same things, fallen in love, researched the visa, &c.

Would we immigrate the other way? I don't think so. I really don't want to move to Canada right now.

[TracyTN 237]

I'm not sure I understand the question with respect to my own situation. I love C. I want to marry C. If we didn't have to do this stupid paperwork, I'd be very happy. If I found out we needed to do more paperwork, I'd be pissed but we'd do it. If the magical citizenship fairy waved her wand and we discovered he was American, we'd be thrilled.

But....would I have not dated him or chosen not to meet him if I'd known that this process would be a complete pain in the keister? I don't know that I understand that. I wasn't looking for a Canadian or a spouse or a boyfriend, so, yeah, probably, would have done the same things, fallen in love, researched the visa, &c.

Would we immigrate the other way? I don't think so. I really don't want to move to Canada right now.

This pretty much sums up how I feel, except that I am sure that I still would have continued to pursue a relationship with my fiance knowing what a pain this would all be. Sometimes, you've just gotta follow your heart.

That, and replace 'Canada' in Caladan's last sentence with 'the UK'.

[Mags 112]

I'd have done it the same. Do I wish I had never met my husband and fallen in love with him BECAUSE he comes from another country? No way. What I have with him is very special. He is worth every second of frustration over the immigration process.

[KarenCee 3]

I'd have done it the same. Do I wish I had never met my husband and fallen in love with him BECAUSE he comes from another country? No way. What I have with him is very special. He is worth every second of frustration over the immigration process.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[ajames79 0]

I'd have done it the same. Do I wish I had never met my husband and fallen in love with him BECAUSE he comes from another country? No way. What I have with him is very special. He is worth every second of frustration over the immigration process.

totally agree.

I am just very lucky.

I'd not change it for the world.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I also wish I had done it sooner, but, under the circumstances, it took a few years for me to be convinced that he was the best man for me.

[Scott & Lai 12]

I'd have done it the same. Do I wish I had never met my husband and fallen in love with him BECAUSE he comes from another country? No way. What I have with him is very special. He is worth every second of frustration over the immigration process.

totally agree.

I am just very lucky.

I'd not change it for the world.