my visa journey ends, a new life journey begins

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Hey ladies and gents,

Miss me? Haha probably not. I'm divisive, I know. Figured I'd update my peeps on my long I-129F petition saga. That chapter in my life is now sadly, regrettably, painfully closed. It's nothing my former fiance did wrong. I was the one who was weak and faltered. Waiting over a year and a half for the petition approval with no end in sight, being apart for over 3 years, it proved too much I guess. So my mind and my eye started to wander. I made mistakes and originally resolved to continue forward, but I couldn't hide the truth from my fiance, that after so many years of being my best friend and love, I had doubts and I betrayed him. I told him and he was understandably crushed and wouldn't forgive me. I respect that. He asked me to revoke the petition, so I did. My lawyer dropped off a letter at the New York USCIS office. It was easy, process-wise, I guess. In doing so I realized moving forward with him wouldn't have worked out well in the end anyway, so it was all for the best. There are many reasons for this - cultural and religious differences played a role, but him living apart from his family would have been a tremendous struggle. For us, it wasn't maktub. Maybe one day I'll find the one I'm meant to be with. Not sure if I buy into that idea of pre-determination though.

I could have walked away from this forum without saying anything, but I wanted to take this opportunity to say to all those on here who press on for the ones they love despite tremendous odds - I admire you so. Many of you have built a relationship on a strong foundation of love and commitment that you can bear the distance and also the trials and tribulations of being together long term - there's something so honorable and tremendous in that. Stay true to what is in your heart, it will serve you well. I aspire to self-love and self-reflection in this new chapter of my life that's just beginning. Thank you all for your support and for your inspiration.

Peace and joy,

Sarah

Edited April 2, 2014 by Sarah Elle-Même

[Merrytooth 5,748]

[LizzieBee 25]

Thank you for posting. It really is so painful and difficult. I don't condemn you at all for faltering. Best of luck moving forward.

[Cathi 5,771]

Thanks for updating us and sharing your story. You are only human, and things happen. Although your visa journey ended, I wish you the very best in your life journey. Al-hob wa Al-salam

[shahara2013 16]

Thanks for the update Sarah. I wish you the best. I've appreciated all that you've shared with us and I pray that God blesses you more than you realized was possible. Sorry for the heartache you must be going through.

[berber_wife 90]

I do sympathize with you because long-distance is REALLY HARD, especially when you don't see an ending. Younes and I struggled in our relationship last fall - nothing to do with unfaithfulness but there were jealousy issues and we both wondered if we were making the right decision in being together, if our different backgrounds were just too much. As it turned out, my diagnosis centered us and made us realize that our relationship was worth sticking with and now we are married. It would've been nice to come to that conclusion in a less...potentially life-threatening way, though.

You are only human and your mistakes are understandable. It sounds you have found peace in the outcome, even though I'm sure it's very painful and I wish you nothing but the best for the future.

[Mithra 1,185]

Best of luck, Sarah. I'm glad to hear you're doing what is right for you and that you realized that perhaps this relationship wasn't it. You've probably saved yourself a lot of heartache and disappointment. Take care.