Denied!!!

[pachacuti 154]

What's really sad is that those of us who actually care about Our Country have to wait in the same queue as those who could care less. People like that really should get out of line and just move to another country already - preferably where the beneficiary resides. That would be a true testament of their Love as Soulmates...

I know you were just using my post as a jumping off point, but as one of the few American socialists in existence, I am hyper-sensitive to such jingoistic rhetoric. I am proud to be an American, but not necessarily for what America or Americans do. I am proud of what we represent when we are at our best. I am proud for our constant struggle and debate. I love my country with all my heart, but because of my politics, I am always looked at with suspicion by the chest-thumpers among us. That saddens me more than what I pointed out in my previous post.

I come from a long line of Americans. I am not recently arrived. My family can trace its lineage back to colonial times. Not always proudly. We have Tories who sided with the British. We have slave owners and KKK members (my family has been in the south for centuries). But my family marches on. We struggle. I like to believe that the arching of our history bends towards justice. I am not proud of everything in my family history, but still I am proud of the potential that my family represents. My feelings for my family are a microcosm of my feelings for my nation.

Almost everyone in my immediate family has served this nation in some capacity: Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard, federal, state and local government. I, myself, just recently ended a long career with state government. My family has moved and relocated and disbursed ourselves all across this country, but the core is still in the south. I still feel like a proud Southerner, regardless of the stain. The stain cannot be undone, but the lessons we learn are what are important. (And there is nothing better than Southern food and there never will be

Look at how our country fought over slavery, as one example. During the times they were forming the nation, it was already a hot-button issue. Then rabble-rousers like John Quincy Adams kept the debate alive throughout his lifetime. We almost destroyed ourselves fighting over it in the 1860s. And it didn't end there. We had Jim Crow. We had lynchings. We had the 50s and the 60s, where people laid their lives on the line to end the injustice. Brave men like MLK and LBJ finally laid the groundwork to begin the healing, healing that has not even today been fully brought to fruition.

It is THAT beauty that makes me proud. That we soldier on. We fight for justice and equal rights. We do indeed represent something. The American Dream is real. We don't always represent it well. We often corrupt it for our own purposes. But it is there. That makes me proud.

Having said that, I have spent a large part of my life abroad. I have strong connections to South America. I would live in Peru (or many other places) gladly. But trust me that when I am there, I see myself as an ambassador for the USA. Not once have I been criticized when I explain why I am proud. Because it is not jingoism. My pride is based on deep self-reflection. And when I see the warts, I don't deny them. I don't excuse them. I admit that they are wrong.

Now, the big problem with your statement, to which I alluded towards the beginning of my rant, is that you cannot judge what others think or feel about their country. You can't judge the needs and desires that people have while they are planning their lives. Do yourself a favor and keep your jingoism to yourself. I believe you will be better for it in the long run.

[JD & Coconut 35]

What's really sad is that those of us who actually care about Our Country have to wait in the same queue as those who could care less. People like that really should get out of line and just move to another country already - preferably where the beneficiary resides. That would be a true testament of their Love as Soulmates...

One of my all time favorite people and quotes of all time:

"My country is the world, and my religion is to do good." -- Thomas Paine

It truly does not matter where we live, I talked my fiancee into moving here because I have a great career at one of the top corporations in the country making lots of money and have a nice home in a nice neighborhood. To move would require starting over, not that it would be that difficult but it would delay my plans to retire at 55.

Edit: Oh and for the record, I served my country in a war but have since matured past the point of having an allegiance to any "nation", they are all corrupt and evil in their own ways no matter how "free" you believe them to be. My nation truly is the world and my countrymen is Humanity.

Edited April 30, 2013 by JD & Coconut

[duraaraa 203]

as one of the few American socialists in existence

You are not alone, comrade.

Actually, I think I would like my country a lot more if more people thought like you.

[Lynkali 163]

You are not alone, comrade.

Not alone by a long shot. It's taken me a while (I'm 41) but for the last few years I have finally been able to declare myself a socialist, and wish more people would own up to it. I probably have been one since I was 20, just brainwashed by our culture into thinking I couldn't possibly be THAT since it was so clearly "evil". Anyway, leftists / progressives of all stripes should be just as welcome as others to partake in our (very overloaded) immigration system, I hope everyone would at least agree with that!

Sorry for Off Topic, now back to sympathy for the OP's situation -- good luck with whatever works out, and my deepest sympathies for the frustrations of being apart for so long. I know it's taking a toll on my relationship too, but we're nearing the end stretch soon and we'll be okay!

[DaRoq 36]

I know you were just using my post as a jumping off point, but as one of the few American socialists in existence, I am hyper-sensitive to such jingoistic rhetoric. I am proud to be an American, but not necessarily for what America or Americans do. I am proud of what we represent when we are at our best. I am proud for our constant struggle and debate. I love my country with all my heart, but because of my politics, I am always looked at with suspicion by the chest-thumpers among us. That saddens me more than what I pointed out in my previous post.

I come from a long line of Americans. I am not recently arrived. My family can trace its lineage back to colonial times. Not always proudly. We have Tories who sided with the British. We have slave owners and KKK members (my family has been in the south for centuries). But my family marches on. We struggle. I like to believe that the arching of our history bends towards justice. I am not proud of everything in my family history, but still I am proud of the potential that my family represents. My feelings for my family are a microcosm of my feelings for my nation.

Almost everyone in my immediate family has served this nation in some capacity: Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard, federal, state and local government. I, myself, just recently ended a long career with state government. My family has moved and relocated and disbursed ourselves all across this country, but the core is still in the south. I still feel like a proud Southerner, regardless of the stain. The stain cannot be undone, but the lessons we learn are what are important. (And there is nothing better than Southern food and there never will be

Look at how our country fought over slavery, as one example. During the times they were forming the nation, it was already a hot-button issue. Then rabble-rousers like John Quincy Adams kept the debate alive throughout his lifetime. We almost destroyed ourselves fighting over it in the 1860s. And it didn't end there. We had Jim Crow. We had lynchings. We had the 50s and the 60s, where people laid their lives on the line to end the injustice. Brave men like MLK and LBJ finally laid the groundwork to begin the healing, healing that has not even today been fully brought to fruition.

It is THAT beauty that makes me proud. That we soldier on. We fight for justice and equal rights. We do indeed represent something. The American Dream is real. We don't always represent it well. We often corrupt it for our own purposes. But it is there. That makes me proud.

Having said that, I have spent a large part of my life abroad. I have strong connections to South America. I would live in Peru (or many other places) gladly. But trust me that when I am there, I see myself as an ambassador for the USA. Not once have I been criticized when I explain why I am proud. Because it is not jingoism. My pride is based on deep self-reflection. And when I see the warts, I don't deny them. I don't excuse them. I admit that they are wrong.

Now, the big problem with your statement, to which I alluded towards the beginning of my rant, is that you cannot judge what others think or feel about their country. You can't judge the needs and desires that people have while they are planning their lives. Do yourself a favor and keep your jingoism to yourself. I believe you will be better for it in the long run.

Ok... To be honest, I didn't know what jingoism is until you mentioned it. But if you think that my statement was based on it or the pseudo-patriotism of the "recently arrived", you are wrong. It's funny how simple words can elicit such a lengthy and charged response, but you have put too much meaning to it because of your own beliefs. Otherwise, you seem like a decent person.

Good Luck on your journey...

[Jo Amelia Finlay 20]

What's really sad is that those of us who actually care about Our Country have to wait in the same queue as those who could care less. People like that really should get out of line and just move to another country already - preferably where the beneficiary resides. That would be a true testament of their Love as Soulmates...

I would also say how does one quantify "caring about" a country? In the sense of "we'll process the applications quicker/only for those who love their country the most". Clearly then everyone would!

Sorry, I don't mean to sound trite. And I understand the frustration at this whole process (filed late Feb, so we've a long wait yet), but statements like that are needlessly inflammatory hon.

[pachacuti 154]

Ok... To be honest, I didn't know what jingoism is until you mentioned it. But if you think that my statement was based on it or the pseudo-patriotism of the "recently arrived", you are wrong. It's funny how simple words can elicit such a lengthy and charged response, but you have put too much meaning to it because of your own beliefs. Otherwise, you seem like a decent person.

Good Luck on your journey...

I apologize if I read too much into your statement. In my defense, I don't think I was alone in my assessment. Others have had the same reaction to your comment. But forums are obviously well-known for causing misunderstandings of this nature.

I also wish you the best of luck on your journey. May we both be together with our families sooner rather than later.

Jingoism is not "pseudo-patriotism of the recently arrived", btw:

jin·go·ism (jngg-zm)

n.

Extreme nationalism characterized especially by a belligerent foreign policy; chauvinistic patriotism.

[JD & Coconut 35]

I apologize if I read too much into your statement. In my defense, I don't think I was alone in my assessment. Others have had the same reaction to your comment. But forums are obviously well-known for causing misunderstandings of this nature.

I also wish you the best of luck on your journey. May we both be together with our families sooner rather than later.

Jingoism is not "pseudo-patriotism of the recently arrived", btw:

jin·go·ism (jngg-zm)

n.

Extreme nationalism characterized especially by a belligerent foreign policy; chauvinistic patriotism.

You should check out the Zeitgeist Movement along with The Venus Project, think you'll like what you find.

WEBSITEhttp://www.thezeitgeistmovement.com/

WEBSITEhttp://www.thevenusproject.com/

WEBSITEhttp://www.zeitnews.org/

[Lost Soul 2]

I wasn't saying it was a legitimate excuse. I am saying that it sounds like he is using it in order to hide something else from her that he does not want to reveal in order to let her down more gently. My guess is he found somebody else.

who know.... # still mending a broken heart# just had the courage to this this page again today.still cant help crying reading everything here. Thanks all!

[Oregon Bound 30]

who know.... # still mending a broken heart# just had the courage to this this page again today.still cant help crying reading everything here. Thanks all!

Cry your tears. They will make you stronger in the end.

I was hoping by now you would have spoken to each other and maybe sorted things out. I am so sorry

[Lost Soul 2]

Cry your tears. They will make you stronger in the end.

I was hoping by now you would have spoken to each other and maybe sorted things out. I am so sorry

yeah we did talked already just to say our final goodbye. i know ill be fine.just need sometime. God Bless u.thank u.

[Oregon Bound 30]

yeah we did talked already just to say our final goodbye. i know ill be fine.just need sometime. God Bless u.thank u.

I pray that time heals your broken heart fast.

All the very best for the future, wherever it takes you

[JD & Coconut 35]

yeah we did talked already just to say our final goodbye. i know ill be fine.just need sometime. God Bless u.thank u.

I know it is hard but when you meet the right person, you will forget about all those others that came before. The right person does not abandon you so just keep on looking and never give up.

[M and C 32]

yeah we did talked already just to say our final goodbye. i know ill be fine.just need sometime. God Bless u.thank u.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. I pray that healing will come upon you in God's perfect time.

[RRoy 0]

Oh! So so sorry. But you know some men are like that only. They tend to be stronger thn actuly they are.. Hope so soon he will realise that u r so so important to him and might be he has some other problems too.. With job or anything like that.. If u really love him give it a another shot.. Call him. Guess what our relationship is 8 years long.. Guess what we were just together for 1 and half year at the beginning. Then he went to states. And came to meet me in 2011 aftr so long and again in 2012.. We do fight and even say we wanna break up.. But some where we know in our hearts its just matter of time.. Wish you all the best.. Call him again and see if it works coz true love doesnt ends so easily...all the best.