Worried about "proof of ongoing relationship"

[Mmelon 8]

I am really worried about being able to "prove" an ongoing relationship. I have been to see my boyfriend twice and hopefully will be able to go once more (mostly because I never kept any of my previous boarding passes, and I would like to have some to send in to minimize any complications). I stayed in his little farming town pretty far away from any central areas, and we didn't go anywhere together besides hiking around the forest and mountains, which you don't get receipts for. We have a few photos together. Mostly what I am worried about is that while he is there and I am in the U.S., we mostly communicate via phone/email. It's a little complicated to explain. He only has internet available on his cell phone, so via gmail he is able to send short "emails" to my verizon phone which I receive as a text message. We can only sent about 160 characters at a time. So we have A LOT of messages like that, but like I said they are short and if that is all the "proof" we have for an ongoing relationship I feel like it is not very believable. We do talk on the phone once or twice a week, but I use a calling card and the destination phone number does not show up on my calling history, it just says "unavailable." What do I do? He comes from a very impoverished area, so we don't have a lot of good options. Snail mail is a big hassle because the nearest post office is hours away from where he lives.

[X Factor 1,112]

Gather the emails and print those. I sent only 5 pictures with different settings with us and relatives. I described at the back of the pictures who is in it.

[TimeTravel 78]

I am really worried about being able to "prove" an ongoing relationship. I have been to see my boyfriend twice and hopefully will be able to go once more (mostly because I never kept any of my previous boarding passes, and I would like to have some to send in to minimize any complications). I stayed in his little farming town pretty far away from any central areas, and we didn't go anywhere together besides hiking around the forest and mountains, which you don't get receipts for. We have a few photos together. Mostly what I am worried about is that while he is there and I am in the U.S., we mostly communicate via phone/email. It's a little complicated to explain. He only has internet available on his cell phone, so via gmail he is able to send short "emails" to my verizon phone which I receive as a text message. We can only sent about 160 characters at a time. So we have A LOT of messages like that, but like I said they are short and if that is all the "proof" we have for an ongoing relationship I feel like it is not very believable. We do talk on the phone once or twice a week, but I use a calling card and the destination phone number does not show up on my calling history, it just says "unavailable." What do I do? He comes from a very impoverished area, so we don't have a lot of good options. Snail mail is a big hassle because the nearest post office is hours away from where he lives.

Well, I would say - Work on evidences and try to make your case stronger. If you believe, based on evidence, it may be hard to believe the relationship, then think about that, during interview, CO has 5-10 min to review your case and make the decision.

[Mmelon 8]

Well, I would say - Work on evidences and try to make your case stronger. If you believe, based on evidence, it may be hard to believe the relationship, then think about that, during interview, CO has 5-10 min to review your case and make the decision.

I just don't know what we can do different than what we are doing. We communicate A LOT, but I think it is in a much more unusual way that a lot of folks who use facebook or online chats. I am just scared that they won't think it is legit.

[baron555 934]

I just don't know what we can do different than what we are doing. We communicate A LOT, but I think it is in a much more unusual way that a lot of folks who use facebook or online chats. I am just scared that they won't think it is legit.

Purposefully generate different kinds of of evidences. This is not hard.

[TimeTravel 78]

I just don't know what we can do different than what we are doing. We communicate A LOT, but I think it is in a much more unusual way that a lot of folks who use facebook or online chats. I am just scared that they won't think it is legit.

Try to make more visit, and spend more and more time, and get alot of photos! Prepare all this for interview stage.

[Mmelon 8]

Unfortunately it IS hard for us to MAKE more and different types of proofs. All he has is his cell phone with the little internet access that it gets. While he is not "illiterate," he does not write using a pen/paper very well as he has not had a need to since he had to leave school at age 11. So while I could send him mail, it is much harder for him. I know every couple going through this thinks their situation is the exception and unique, but I really do feel like ours is extra complicated. It is frustrating having to "prove" your love to the government and have them judge it and decide whether it is real. =(

[dwheels76 5,468]

I am really worried about being able to "prove" an ongoing relationship. I have been to see my boyfriend twice and hopefully will be able to go once more (mostly because I never kept any of my previous boarding passes, and I would like to have some to send in to minimize any complications). I stayed in his little farming town pretty far away from any central areas, and we didn't go anywhere together besides hiking around the forest and mountains, which you don't get receipts for. We have a few photos together. Mostly what I am worried about is that while he is there and I am in the U.S., we mostly communicate via phone/email. It's a little complicated to explain. He only has internet available on his cell phone, so via gmail he is able to send short "emails" to my verizon phone which I receive as a text message. We can only sent about 160 characters at a time. So we have A LOT of messages like that, but like I said they are short and if that is all the "proof" we have for an ongoing relationship I feel like it is not very believable. We do talk on the phone once or twice a week, but I use a calling card and the destination phone number does not show up on my calling history, it just says "unavailable." What do I do? He comes from a very impoverished area, so we don't have a lot of good options. Snail mail is a big hassle because the nearest post office is hours away from where he lives.

Well here's a list I compiled over the last 2 years from various sources and folk here on VJ. Maybe this will help stir up some ideas. Do you get a stamp in your passport when you go to Costa Rica? That is your proof of your visits. well here you go.

Examples from VJ members

• Include phone records, chat messages, email, snail mail etc.
• Be careful of the emails/letters that you submit, and only use those that show you guys in the best light (Do not submit documents with the information blacked out (unless it is a social security number).
• Anything that shows you are a normal loving couple, that you discuss the things that most couples discuss (i.e. work, family, future plans, etc.) is good to submit. If you've been corresponding with his family, and they've been corresponding with other members of your family, submit this as well. You want to show depth and real family ties.
• You have to go into this thinking that they think your marriage is a fraud, unless you prove them otherwise.
• If you can get a letter from his family stating that they are aware of the age difference and give their approval this will be a big help as well.
• Financial support: If money is being sent keep track of it - be it western union, paypal world debit, credit card with the spouses name on it (you do not need a social security card to add a spouse to your credit card and get them a card).
• Ongoing Communication - Talking on the internet every day? Make sure you are logging it.. Telephone bills, etc..
• Personal Meetings - Make sure these are documented, photos, passport stamps, hotel bills, etc.
• I would organize your information with a timeline of your relationships and then bullet those three items..
• Page one is a cover sheet describing the relationship and the evidence, then the timeline of the relationship, then the evidence as laid out in the cover sheet.
• Each piece of evidence I have also explains what it covers with a small header.. For example I organize internet chats by month –
• I only show the log that shows that we talked/chatted each day (a screenshot) and above have one paragraph explaining why we talked more or less that month and general things we talked about (ie: we did not talk June 24-28th because her internet was down, the heavy usage days the first week were because we were planning my upcoming trip, the heavy Wed and Fri days are because we go over new English word from her class, etc)...
• If you do it month to month the time it takes is not great and shows an ongoing relationship evolving over time..

What documents are necessary to determine a bona fide marriage?

1. Photographs that show both spouses together and with family and friends. These photographs can be taken at the wedding, at other functions or events, and throughout their relationship.
2. Letters between the couple before the marriage, with their postmarked envelope.
3. Evidence of trips the couple has taken together, including bills and receipts reflecting hotel stays, car rental, plane tickets, postcards sent to family members while on the trip.
4. Birth certificates of children of the marriage.
5. Copies of joint income tax returns.
6. Evidence of joint checking or savings accounts.
7. Photo ID cards of both spouses with a new card for the wife showing her married name.
8. Driver's licenses, credit cards, check cashing cards, employment ID cards, video club memberships, etc. for both parties.
9. Real property deeds showing joint tenancy.
10. Apartment lease or a letter from the landlord indicating that both spouses live at the apartment or copies of rent receipts showing both parties' names.
11. Letter from an employer showing a change in records to reflect the spouses' new marital status.
12. Letter from an employer showing designation of the spouse as the person to be notified in event of accident, sickness, or other emergency.
13. Evidence of life insurance policies where the spouse is named as beneficiary.
14. Evidence of medical or health insurance plans, which name the spouse as a member or beneficiary.
15. Evidence of correspondence between parties, including letters, birthday and holiday cards, telephone calls, and other correspondence addressed to the parties.
16. Religious marriage certificates if the couple had a church wedding.
17. Copies of gas, electric, telephone and other utility bills.
18. Evidence of joint ownership of an automobile.
19. Evidence of all major purchases made together, such as stereo, television, refrigerator, washer, dryer, etc.
20. Pictures of spouse and family.

Edited February 24, 2013 by dwheels76

[Golden Gate 530]

When I was corresponding with my now husband we had a pretty unusual situation as well. He worked in a mountain village where they didn't even have electricity. I would call him and we would talk for about 3 minutes a night. I visited him twice, spending one summer with him. I explained these circumstances in my petition. I had only some instant messages to send and pages of phone records. Just do the best you can explaining your situation.

You might also try calling from Skype, so you have a record.

Edited February 24, 2013 by Golden Gate

[visaqueries 111]

You said that you could send him mail. It might take a while before he gets into town to receive it, but I'd do that as one component. It couldn't hurt, and he'll have them for his interview. My only note on that, however: I did try sending my fiance lots of cards for different occasions, but none of them ever made it to him. The mail service in Egypt is not very good at all. I'm not sure if Costa Rica is much better.

[Mmelon 8]

You said that you could send him mail. It might take a while before he gets into town to receive it, but I'd do that as one component. It couldn't hurt, and he'll have them for his interview. My only note on that, however: I did try sending my fiance lots of cards for different occasions, but none of them ever made it to him. The mail service in Egypt is not very good at all. I'm not sure if Costa Rica is much better.

He can receive mail that I send him. =) It is the other direction where we have problems. You don't think it will look "off" if all the mail is coming from my end? Or is communication simply communication no matter who sends it?

[Mmelon 8]

When I was corresponding with my now husband we had a pretty unusual situation as well. He worked in a mountain village where they didn't even have electricity. I would call him and we would talk for about 3 minutes a night. I visited him twice, spending one summer with him. I explained these circumstances in my petition. I had only some instant messages to send and pages of phone records. Just do the best you can explaining your situation.

You might also try calling from Skype, so you have a record.

Thanks so much for your reply. It makes me feel a little better to hear other people who were successful with less than ideal situations. I have looked into calling with skype several times, however with the calling card I get around 4 hours and 30 minutes for $20 which is much cheaper than anything I have seen on skype. But I would use skype occasionally just to have it on record if that would be helpful. I just don't know if they would assume that the few times on skype is our only communication since it would be the only phone "record."

[visaqueries 111]

I know when I attempted to send mail to my fiance he would have just had "one sided" mail for the interview. However, you say that you have screen shots of small texts he's sent you. Together, that will show he is communicating with you as well. Of course, all of this is secondary evidence and will be supported by passport stamps, tickets...but it can add to the larger picture of that relationship. And...the words you write in your letter could reference some of the things you've talked about through other means of communication (i.e Is your mom feeling better?)

The only thing that has made its way to my fiance has been photo books I've mailed through the photo book's company. Each time he receives a package from me, I hear the joy in his voice (I've sent 3 things). The original reason I wanted to send him cards was because I know how much he enjoyed getting mail from me. (Don't we all like getting hand written cards and notes?) Maybe one day he'll get home and find 10 cards waiting to be opened .

[mtcmk1 37]

At one point, because of his job, O was in a location with little electricity and no internet. So, we only used the phone. To use t-mobile's International calling was too expensive. So for a while, we used BossRevolution. It's inexpensive and you get a record of the phone number you called and the time and duration of all your calls. On your phone bill, the boss revolution number does show up.

So here's what I did: I printed the BossRevolution phone logs from online and the phone bill from Tmobile. I underlined the BossRevolution numbers and wrote on top of the Phone Bill to check the BossRevolution phone log for more information. I would suggest you sign up for it and use it. It's like a calling card, however you do not need to enter the pin. Just dial the number, and then enter your fiance's number and you'll be connected. Go to: www dot bossrevolution dot com. If you need help setting it up, send me a PM.

Also, would you be able to add credits to his phone? Because sometimes it may be cheaper that way. And also, that way, his number can show up on your phone bill as well.

Good luck!

[Mmelon 8]

At one point, because of his job, O was in a location with little electricity and no internet. So, we only used the phone. To use t-mobile's International calling was too expensive. So for a while, we used BossRevolution. It's inexpensive and you get a record of the phone number you called and the time and duration of all your calls. On your phone bill, the boss revolution number does show up.

So here's what I did: I printed the BossRevolution phone logs from online and the phone bill from Tmobile. I underlined the BossRevolution numbers and wrote on top of the Phone Bill to check the BossRevolution phone log for more information. I would suggest you sign up for it and use it. It's like a calling card, however you do not need to enter the pin. Just dial the number, and then enter your fiance's number and you'll be connected. Go to: www dot bossrevolution dot com. If you need help setting it up, send me a PM.

Also, would you be able to add credits to his phone? Because sometimes it may be cheaper that way. And also, that way, his number can show up on your phone bill as well.

Good luck!

When he calls me from Costa Rica, it shows up on my phone record as "N/A" But the BossRevolution thing looks interesting. I might give that a try! Thanks for the tip!