Cheating - What would you do?

[Khal_Drogo 50]

Cheaper to fly there, hire a lie detector tester and be done with it and have all your questions answered

Yeah, except they're not that accurate.

I'm speaking as a guy who's been strapped to two polygraphs. Heck, my own polygraphers told me if you're good enough at lying, you can pass one easy, that's why they're not admissable in court as evidence. Admittedly, I told the truth on both and passed fine, but still. They kept telling me to control stuff I couldn't control. For example, I got dizzy on my second one because I can't breathe through my nose (weird shaped nasal passages), and each breath I was taking through my mouth was so massive that even during the control tests it was spiking so high the numbers simply weren't reliable. Then the guy told me I was "purposely controlling my breathing," and I said, "Because you told me to!" and he said, "Then you might not pass this test." Simply because I was born with a messed up nose.

Also:

But it's the usual suspicions anyone in an LDR has I suppose

I have never been in a 1-on-1 relationship; all my relationships have been long distance because I am naturally very nervous, shy, and awkward around new people. Oh, I can get along with them fine, but when it comes to opening up to them, sharing my feelings, etc. it's near impossible for me to do. That said, my first LDR was three and a half years long (considerably shorter distance than now, she was from Washington state, I was in Minnesota), and never once did I get suspicious of her. Same with my wife now; this has also lasted three and half years. I've noticed that the suspicions never come from you; they come from others around you who are so used to never taking their eyes of their loved ones to understand that sometimes it's perfectly acceptable to just trust someone when they're not around. I've gotten it from EVERYONE. Parents, extended family, close friends, coworkers, etc. Oh, sure, I get nervous at times when my wife tells me she'll be spending time with people I don't know one-on-one, but that's because I don't trust the other guy; I trust her implicitly. I have coworkers who have married Brits, Koreans, Filipinos, etc. and they all are pretty much in the same boat as me; they get lots of flak from outside, but their minds are a bulletproof vest.

It's your money, it's your decision. But I'm just saying right now that the evidence you've presented so far doesn't justify hiring a PI in my opinion. If anything, it tells me you are very insecure and maybe this relationship either needs more work or you're jut not ready to be in an LDR. Those are NOT insults, some people just don't meld with LDRs, and that's okay.

That's my two pennies.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I agree that it is not normal to suspect a person is cheating in a long distance relationship. The thought has never once crossed my mind or his.

I don't get why you'd want to be with someone you doubt? Even if the suspicions turn out to be unfounded, there is something wrong with your relationship if the idea of hiring a PI has even come about in the first place.

[sarsorti 36]

lots of flak from outside, but their minds are a bulletproof vest.

It's your money, it's your decision. But I'm just saying right now that the evidence you've presented so far doesn't justify hiring a PI in my opinion. If anything, it tells me you are very insecure and maybe this relationship either needs more work or you're jut not ready to be in an LDR. Those are NOT insults, some people just don't meld with LDRs, and that's okay.

That's my two pennies.

I have to agree....you must have a "bulletproof vest" (love that) and it's usually the ones who are guilty themselves that try to plant the seeds of infidelity.

If you have to ask yourself these questions there is definitely a problem somewhere. Better to cut your losses now or at least reevaluate the relationship with great consideration.

just adding two more pennies.

[velrich 50]

First Bumberclout to you, second how did you arrive that this individual was Jamaican. If you don't want to trust an Jamaican than stay off of the island. Third there are as many cheater in every other culture as there is in Jamaica.

"Talk and taste your tongue" [Think before you speak].

:rofl: :thumbs:

But seriously now...that poster surely not thinking at all.