Issue with late-stage abortion...

[Sweetcheeksss 91]

Actually OP - according to google, abortion is only legal in Columbia under these very clear stipulations:

Abortion in Colombia is currently illegal except in case of the threat to life or health of the woman, if the pregnancy is the result of rape, or when the fetus is expected to die after birth because of severe fetal abnormalities. It was completely illegal until 2006, when (as a result of the Marta Gonzalez case) legislation was passed making it legal in the above circumstances.[1]

The punishment for a woman who has an illegal abortion is up to 3 years in prison and the punishment for a doctor or other person who performs the procedure illegally (even if medically licensed to do so) is also up to 3 years.[2]

Quoted from this website - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_in_Colombia

[amyandjorge 76]

1) She probably doesn't want the other man's child to get in the way of her being with OP (in the US). In my experience, latino men don't rush to play house with other men's offspring (thus the grandparents are frequently found raising pre-marital children).

2) She waited past the acceptable time frame to broach the subject (assumption), leaning towards keeping it.

3) Doubt the father wants to be a dad, he probably just wanted to piss in someone else's garden (macho man).

OP has two options, tell his fiancee he supports her no matter what or not. Tough call, I understand why he is looking at all of the options here.

[JohnR! 5,495]

, tell his fiancee he supports her no matter what

Isn't that the cornerstone of every marriage ?

[Rob & Monika 87]

Read the original post again. She doesn't want the kid. She wants to have an abortion.

I don't believe that at all. He's made it very clear... choose me or the baby. Why would she ever indicate to him how she really feels? She only says what he wants to hear, which he conveyed in his post. After 6 months of NOT choosing abortion, I think it is clear that she wants her baby. She will blame him for making her choose.

[tru_loves_journey 117]

She only has 3 more months to full term... Options: The father of the child might want the child OR put the baby up for adoption, many people in this world would love to adopt and cherish this child for all it's life.

[da c family 1]

Abortion is not an option for her unless she is a real bad desperate to go in the USA...

If she will abort the child, her soul never find a peace.

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

If she is 6 months pregnant, abortion isn't a good choice, really. Even me, being childfree and loving it, wouldn't feel comfortable to advice to do it. But she always can give child for adoption right after birth, that could be a solution. No she, neither you, have to raise up this child if you don't want to. [Victor]

[Amy_and_Victor 159]

If she is 6 months pregnant, abortion isn't a good choice, really. Even me, being childfree and loving it, wouldn't feel comfortable to advice to do it. But she always can give child for adoption right after birth, that could be a solution. No she, neither you, have to raise up this child if you don't want to. [Victor]

I agree as well. Victor and I have decided not to have kids, but I wouldn't get an abortion so late in the pregnancy myself (and it's illegal in most states anyway, unless it's a medical emergency). I think adoption is the best choice in your case. There are a lot of good people out there who can't have children who would give this child a good life and loving home. I'll go against the grain as well and argue that if you guys don't want this child, you shouldn't try and raise it yourself. The child deserves parents who WANT him/her.

-Amy

[reese1 68]

Okay, follow up question:

1.) Are medical exams for K1 performed by U.S. doctors?

2.) If she was just to say that yes, she had an abortion, would they ask when? At what stage? Why? Where?

Abortion is not illegal in the U.S., so if the doctor is U.S. and she is going to the U.S., I am not seeing how it could be grounds for denial... right?

It does not matter if it is not illegal in the US to have an abortion it is ILLEGAL there, therefore the civil surgeons there will have to abide by the laws of that country. The bigger question you need to be asking is if they are illegal there how safe is the abortion going to be at this point and to be honest if she is 6 months it is not really an abortion it is a matter of causing her to give birth and either terminating the infant(because it is no longer just a fetus) before or after she delivers I would think more than likely they would cause her to have a still born, but again it would be a caused result and not something that happened with nature what doctor there is she going to find to take this kind of risk. There is no way with an exam a doctor would not know that she was pregnant at onetime and gave birth. If it was a live birth or not they would have no way of knowing. But why run the risk of her going to jail. Don't chance it. A mistake was made now the right thing to do is deal the with consequences the right way. What that is the two of you need to discuss.

[lucybelle 453]

Just to repeat what everyone else is saying-- she must take this baby to term. Not only would an abortion (an illegal one at that meaning done in some sketchy place with a maybe not licensed doctor) a threat to her health it is also a threat to the possible visa. I'm not sure anywhere legit in the world would do an abortion while in the 3rd trimester. I think giving the baby to the grandmother to care for is almost as horrific a choice as aborting it so late. You should either give the child up for adoption in Colombia, or in the USA. Or actually take the baby in and love it as your own. I think those are the only humane options left.

[Andrea&Henry 311]

It's hard for all of us to try to keep our feelings way from this but try to think about some facts in order to make the right desicion:

1.-You talk about your fiance as if she was raped or something...maybe the other guy was mean with the whole condomn stuff but is her fault. She should thought first before having sex with other guy, she is the only responsable. Then the victim is not her, is that unborn baby.

2.-Having an abortion with 6 month of pregnancy is a murder. If this baby born today, he could live without any problems, so think about that. Try to find some pictures about an late abortion, is terrible, the baby suffers a lot.

3.-"There's no way for you to take care of the baby ever" If you can take her back after what she did to you, cant you take that innocent baby too? I know you are not the father, but for me, if you are marrying a women, you are marry to their kids!

4.-Speaks volumes about her, as a mother, that she rather to leave her baby with her mom instead of taking care of her/him. If she was a grown up woman to go a have sex with other guy, she should be also a grown up woman to be responsable and take care of her child.

5.- And of course in the k1 medical process they sk you EVERYTHING about your health, ncluding pregnancies and abortion....

6.-Im glad you decide to forgive her and take her back, but why if you decide to be happy and have a new life, why keep this baby away from you? no make sense at all...

Im sorry but this topic hurt my eyes while I was reading it...the main word here is RESPONSABILITY

Edited October 1, 2012 by Andrea&Henry

[DM & JM 12]

Sounds to me that the OP is taking decisions for what we all would consider an adult woman. If this woman would have desired to make an abortion, she would have done it a long time ago. In conclusion, OP do not push her or encourage her to get rid of her child simply because you are being selfish and not thinking with your brain. If you don't accept her with her child, then cut your loses and move on but don't do anything that you and her will regret for the rest of your lives. PLEASE tell her not to make an abortion, save the life of a 6 month baby and I assure you that you will feel much better and will leave in peace for the rest of your life. GOD BLESS and protect that baby and hope that this woman will take responsibility for her actions and will make the right decision.

[Andrea&Henry 311]

Never stand between a woman and her child. Either take them both, or leave them both. If you separate them (either by death or adoption), you will likely acquire all the emotional baggage that goes with it the loss. It will likely destroy your marriage, especially if she blames you for it. Men may be able to compartmentalize things, but women can't.

TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. IF A MAN DOESNT WANT MY KIDS DOESNT WANT ME EITHER

[Andrea&Henry 311]

IF YOU ARE GONNA TAKE HER BACK DESPITE ALL HER MISTAKES, YOU SHOULD TAKE HER BACK WITH ALL HER CONSECUENCES, TOO

[QueenE 173]

Im so happy their intelligent people on this post! Im also glad op realizes now the 6 months is outrageously too late to terminate pregnancy. Im happy for those who choose to speak up instead of crying about judgmental. Its not like the baby is 6 weeks. 6 months people! Please save your being judgmental statements in situation where its appropriate! A situation where a baby is going to be crushed to death isnt one of them. Also op if your fiancee is already claiming she was forced in a relatiobship can you imagine what is going to be said about you?