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This is my situation:

I've been married to my USC husband since 2008. I have a 10 yr GC. Two years ago we moved here in TExas because I found a better job as an RN and besides i have not adjusted to the cold weather in Illinois. When my husband followed me here, he didn't work for the next 9 mths...it was fine with me. Then last year, i ask him if he could help me with the finances and if he could find a job and he did. Since May last yr he has been working part time (24 hrs or less/wk) at a retail store. Two months ago, i was able to get a house. So naturally, our expenses are a little more. I asked him if he could find a full time job and this is where our problem is. He is so reluctant. He was offered a job last week but that requires him to drive some 40 miles and he said "i will never drive that far"! I explained to him that this is just temporary until he is able to find something nearer but for the meantime we need whatever little money he can contribute. I am paying for everything (mortgage, car, car insurance, house bills, med insurance, food, cellphone, house repairs, gas...everything!). This is really getting difficult for me. (He gets like 200$ every 2 wks for his part time job). I have a son from a previous marriage and sometimes i feel that i fall short to provide for him...

I don't know what to do...i'm so depressed, i feel that he is making me "pay" for letting him move here in Texas. It's not that he is alone here, he has a sister who lives within a mile from us and a brother too while I don't have a family here.

I'm so tired...i'm almost at the point of giving up :(

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

I believe the very best thing you can do is have a calm and honest conversation with your husband; explain how you feel, don't blame him, ask him how he feels, don't get angry when he tells you.

If you can't seem to agree at all it may be time to get outside (independant and professional) help.

Money is one of the top reasons for divorce so its important these issues get resolved and aren't left to simmer under the surface.

:thumbs: :thumbs: I agree!! Very good advice!!

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K-1 Journey (I-129F)

09/10/2010 ----- Filing date of I-129 F

09/22/2010 ----- NOA 1

02/22/2011 ----- Case being adjudicated

02/28/2011 ----- RFE, Waiver to file 2nd K-1 petition

03/04/2011 ----- RFE reply sent

03/08/2011 ----- RFE received and being reviewed at USCIS

03/17/2011 ----- NOA2 (I-129F approved)

03/23/2011 ----- NOA2 hard copy received

03/29/2011 ----- NVC received our Case

04/04/2011 ----- NVC letter received and case forwarded to US embassy Manila

04/08/2011 ----- US Embassy Manila received our case (Consulate)

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04/16/2011 ----- Received Eligibility Letter from US Embassy Manila dated April 8, 2011

04/25/2011 ----- 1st day of Medical

04/26/2011 ----- 2nd day of Medical (I PASSED!! Thank you Lord!!)

05/13/2011 ----- Interview (221g - Case under Administrative Processing "AP")

08/12/2011 ----- Received an email from the embassy "Case is pending review by a consular officer"

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My blog: All about my writings and essays

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u got yr american dream bot a house

next is american nitemare: u learn who really owns it

Honestly, i just want peace in my marriage...whatever properties there may be, i see

them as such, just properties. My marriage is important to me but at this point it

is really rough.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Honestly, i just want peace in my marriage...whatever properties there may be, i see

them as such, just properties. My marriage is important to me but at this point it

is really rough.

I hope things will work out for both of you. Talk to your husband in an honest and humble manner. I know he will understand, maybe he is just adjusting on things, new work, new place, even he knows his country but it still need adjustment in a new surrounding. Don't give up and do not lost hope. And above all, prayer and have faith in HIM!!

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Picture5.jpg

----------------------------------------

K-1 Journey (I-129F)

09/10/2010 ----- Filing date of I-129 F

09/22/2010 ----- NOA 1

02/22/2011 ----- Case being adjudicated

02/28/2011 ----- RFE, Waiver to file 2nd K-1 petition

03/04/2011 ----- RFE reply sent

03/08/2011 ----- RFE received and being reviewed at USCIS

03/17/2011 ----- NOA2 (I-129F approved)

03/23/2011 ----- NOA2 hard copy received

03/29/2011 ----- NVC received our Case

04/04/2011 ----- NVC letter received and case forwarded to US embassy Manila

04/08/2011 ----- US Embassy Manila received our case (Consulate)

04/15/2011 ----- Paid VISA at BPI

04/16/2011 ----- Received Eligibility Letter from US Embassy Manila dated April 8, 2011

04/25/2011 ----- 1st day of Medical

04/26/2011 ----- 2nd day of Medical (I PASSED!! Thank you Lord!!)

05/13/2011 ----- Interview (221g - Case under Administrative Processing "AP")

08/12/2011 ----- Received an email from the embassy "Case is pending review by a consular officer"

----------------------------------------

My blog: All about my writings and essays

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Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline

Honestly, i just want peace in my marriage...whatever properties there may be, i see

them as such, just properties. My marriage is important to me but at this point it

is really rough.

hi!:) I just hope, still, everything would work out for you and your husband. As this point, you just need to be more patient -- I really feel for you girl. But, try not to give up -- look at the positive things in life. Just talk to your husband in a nice way -- try not be annoying, though. Hopefully this is just a test or trial that you need to overcome. Learn to appreciate your blessings --- be thankful to God, for still you are able to pay off your bills, though I know it is quite hard. Please pray to God for strength and proper guidance -- hopefully, your husband would cooperate and do his share, in time. God bless you and your family.:0 Be strong ! :)

"Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each one with a reason why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars."-- by Kelsi

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Filed: Timeline

I've never understood why buying a house equates to more expense for some.

Your Husband sounds like he may be depressed. Was buying the house an idea he shared?

You have it made though (compared to the norm of EOMFCOIB wherein vawa/divorce/dv are the keywords) as your issues seems to be adjustable by a good talking to.

If left unchallenged then it could fester and quickly. A high percentage of divorce is due to finances. Mine was, Ex was making adequate money but believe that I as the Man of the house should foot all the bills rofl.gif

Please talk to your Husband and lay it all out on the floor, get help from pros and/or church, not friends for sure. I commuted 90 miles a day for 4 years in Texas, tell him to stop being a baby and Man up.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

I've never understood why buying a house equates to more expense for some.

These days, mortgage payments can be less than rent for the same size home. However, renters don't pay property taxes, homeowners insurance, flood insurance (depends on where you live), earthquake insurance (depends on where you live), maintenance, homeowners association dues, etc. Renters often don't even pay for some or all of the utilities, especially water and trash collection.

My total mortgage payments are comparable to what I was paying to rent my previous home. All of those other expenses that renters don't pay costs me a LOT more every year than my mortgage payments. The tax break on the mortgage interest helps, but it doesn't come close to offsetting the other costs. My disposable income dropped dramatically when I bought my home, and it hasn't come back since.

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Filed: Timeline

These days, mortgage payments can be less than rent for the same size home. However, renters don't pay property taxes, homeowners insurance, flood insurance (depends on where you live), earthquake insurance (depends on where you live), maintenance, homeowners association dues, etc. Renters often don't even pay for some or all of the utilities, especially water and trash collection.

My total mortgage payments are comparable to what I was paying to rent my previous home. All of those other expenses that renters don't pay costs me a LOT more every year than my mortgage payments. The tax break on the mortgage interest helps, but it doesn't come close to offsetting the other costs. My disposable income dropped dramatically when I bought my home, and it hasn't come back since.

I understand and that is why I always buy prudently. After spreading out the costs over a full year period I am always agead by buying.

But you are right, there arae many variables. A $150,000 house in Duluth Ohio will less cost than a $3,000 a month condo beachfront rental in Manhattan Beach.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
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Texas is a big place. It's mostly part of 'the local culture' to drive anywhere.

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

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Filed: Other Country: Ireland
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40 miles each way is a long drive, I understand why he wouldn't want to do it if the increased gas cost wouldn't be offset by the extra hours.

I just can't get past the idea that you went and bought a house when you clearly couldn't afford it based on what the two of you were making at the time. Why??

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