Does not look good

[twostar55 0]

My finacee and her 11 year old daughter and I arrived here in the U.S. last August 2nd.

The daughter enrolled in school and is doing OK.

I have a on-going 24 year -old business that I have been very successful at. I also own several income-producing real estate properties.

About a month ago, on the advice of my attorney and CPA, I discussed with my finacee about preparing a pre-nupt agreement.

She really suprised me---she became very offfended that I would suggest such a thing. I attempted to explain to her that it would be in BOTH of our interests. She is a university graduate and skilled in the business world, so maybe I mis-calculated her desires, character, or whatever.

Now, I am having very serious doubts about the marriage. Her time in the U.S. is runnning out.

You might be ready to tell me--"why didn't you two talk about this a long time ago?" Well, to me, it makes a heck of a lot of sense to have a prenupt in this day and age in America--especially when both parties have financial interestes (she owns two apartments in her home country) and 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce within three years in this country.

I tried to explain the benefits of the agreement not only for me, but for HER, also. She told me she would absolutely not read it, but would sign it, and she was very upset about the whole thing.

Her reaction seems so childish to me. Do I want to marry this woman?

Has anyone else been in this situation? Thanks.

[kitkat1 5]

Yikes. I agree with you 100% on the idea of a pre-nup to protect both of you. Only you can decide if her reaction to this is reason enough to not marry her . . .

[JenT 0]

If she doesn't read it, and signs it, without having her own independent counsel represent HER best interests, it won't be worth the paper it's written on.

As far as whether or not you should marry this woman, that is not a question for anyone here. You have to answer that one on your own.

Jen

[john_and_marlene 162]

If she doesn't read it, and signs it, without having her own independent counsel represent HER best interests, it won't be worth the paper it's written on.

So all I have to do the next time I don't want to be bound by an agreement I signed, I just have to say I signed it without reading it and my obligation is removed????? I think you are wrong.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

I would react exactly the same way if my husband had suddenly asked me to sign any prenup.... if this had been something you had both talked about before she gave up her whole life for you and came to the USA then she changed her mind then I could see your point... but she did not know you wanted this before she gave up her life to come and be your wife... the one you want to share everything with... the person who is ment to mean more to you than anything...

If you feel that you can not marry her because of the reaction to your OMG I must protect my business and my assets then I hope you will compensate her for what she has already given up and pay all her expences to get her back home....

Kezzie

[garya505 2]

If she doesn't read it, and signs it, without having her own independent counsel represent HER best interests, it won't be worth the paper it's written on.

So all I have to do the next time I don't want to be bound by an agreement I signed, I just have to say I signed it without reading it and my obligation is removed????? I think you are wrong.

Pre-nups are sometimes invalidated by the court if the parties did not read and understand what they signed.

[YuAndDan 153]

If she doesn't read it, and signs it, without having her own independent counsel represent HER best interests, it won't be worth the paper it's written on.

So all I have to do the next time I don't want to be bound by an agreement I signed, I just have to say I signed it without reading it and my obligation is removed????? I think you are wrong.

You are very correct there, not reading something and signing makes no difference, if you sign something you agree to what on the contract.

This is what hangs a lot of people in the computer world, it is what is called an end user license agreement, when you install a program and click yes to the lengthy agreement at the beginning of the install, you just signed that contract, and it holds up in court. Like if you install the program on many computers when you only have one copy of the program and it states in the electronic contract can only be used on 1 computer, people get taken to court and loose every day, the argument "I did not read that EULA" dose not fly.

[LaL 418]

just because you now think its in her best interest as well does not mean springing it on her after her arrival should be ok. You're saying SHE surprised YOU? I'm kinda thinking you FLOORED her, and I would have reacted the same way if i was presented that after arriving.

i guess your going to have to discuss it further with her and you both are going to have to agree on some outcome.

[rebeccajo 14]

Point #1. Prenups can always be contested.

Point #2. She should be willing to sign one.

Point #3. She has every right to be pissed if it was dropped on her cold turkey.

Point #4. You have no right to expect someone to comply to a contractual obligation when you have them by the short hairs.

[john_and_marlene 162]

If she doesn't read it, and signs it, without having her own independent counsel represent HER best interests, it won't be worth the paper it's written on.

So all I have to do the next time I don't want to be bound by an agreement I signed, I just have to say I signed it without reading it and my obligation is removed????? I think you are wrong.

Pre-nups are sometimes invalidated by the court if the parties did not read and understand what they signed.

How do they determine they didn't really read and understand it? Anyone could make that claim. I've never heard of that as a valid arguement for dismissing a contract. Quite the opposite--I see people held accountable for what they've signed regardless of whether they read or understood it.

Edited October 19, 2006 by john_and_marlene

[payxibka 10,044]

If she doesn't read it, and signs it, without having her own independent counsel represent HER best interests, it won't be worth the paper it's written on.

So all I have to do the next time I don't want to be bound by an agreement I signed, I just have to say I signed it without reading it and my obligation is removed????? I think you are wrong.

You are very correct there, not reading something and signing makes no difference, if you sign something you agree to what on the contract.

This is what hangs a lot of people in the computer world, it is what is called an end user license agreement, when you install a program and click yes to the lengthy agreement at the beginning of the install, you just signed that contract, and it holds up in court. Like if you install the program on many computers when you only have one copy of the program and it states in the electronic contract can only be used on 1 computer, people get taken to court and loose every day, the argument "I did not read that EULA" dose not fly.

I have heard there is legal precedence in some states of invalidating a pre-nup if the person signed a document that was not written there native language and that person was not adequately represented. Can't say this for sure but it is what I have heard

[twostar55 0]

I would react exactly the same way if my husband had suddenly asked me to sign any prenup.... if this had been something you had both talked about before she gave up her whole life for you and came to the USA then she changed her mind then I could see your point... but she did not know you wanted this before she gave up her life to come and be your wife... the one you want to share everything with... the person who is ment to mean more to you than anything...

If you feel that you can not marry her because of the reaction to your OMG I must protect my business and my assets then I hope you will compensate her for what she has already given up and pay all her expences to get her back home....

Kezzie

Things do not automatically go the way we want them to all of the time. I feel that now, at this time, I am disovering something about my finacee that I did not know before--thank God now than later. She appears to me to be illogical. We do not live in the "old days" anymore. I have seen and heard to many sad stories about divorces and the resulting hassles.

She is not "giving up her whole life"--she is a very strong women, so please do not make it sound so melodramatic and sacrificial.

What is your problem with a pre-nupt? Does it not make sense to you? Whether its six months before a marriage or two weeks?

[diadromous mermaid 36]

A pre-nuptial can be invalidated if the construct of the contract violates provisions in state statute.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Pre-nups are sometimes invalidated by the court if the parties did not read and understand what they signed.

It depends on the state (different marriage and contract laws), but at least here in Minnesota, prenups have been declared invalid if one party wasn't given the chance to consult their own independent attorney.

[john_and_marlene 162]

A pre-nuptial can be invalidated if the construct of the contract violates provisions in state statute.

But, that has nothing to do with reading it before signing. Many contracts are invalidated because they violate statutes.