going to pursue CR-1, live with him abroad (not in his home country). how will this affect the visa process

[msheesha 548]

I have friends on facebook, ladies who married or are dating Nigerian men. They've been a big help already; I understand the culture a little better.

When I thought I might be staying with Mike, I started checking out visas for SA. But now that we decided to go for the K-1, I will not be living with him. Right now Mike is in SA on a visitor visa I think. He needs to get a work permit.

I know about the meds. I will get those taken care of. And the Nigeria visitor visa. I'm waiting for an insurance settlement that I'm using to pay for my trip.

Sorry - but that statement is proof that things need to SLOW DOWN in this process, in my opinion. You don't know how he got to where he is, etc. Not a ringing endorsement for knowing someone well enough to be considering marrying - whatever visa you use to try to bring him here.

[PMartin37 161]

I'm really curious about one particular issue. I am on Facebook but only meet people through personal friends and friends of friends. How is it that you met someone from Nigeria on FB?? In other words, how did this relationship initiate?

[bigdog 376]

Please do not be offended, I have been involved in investigations of this kind, be very careful, do not add anyone to anything even if he does. This type of scam is highly prevalent with the lol twist.

[Boiler 43,436]

He will not need a SA work visa if he can get a US GC.

I would think the GC would be a much better bet of the two.

[aaydrian 479]

OP at 20 there's no need to run and get married to the first guy that talks marriage. You're young and everthing looks golden. Delay K1/CR1 process, date, live it up as people your age tend to be, enjoy dating your boyfriend. Following all this you will be able to make a more informed decision on who you are, who your boyfriend is and if you see the relationship going to the next level.

I'm really curious about one particular issue. I am on Facebook but only meet people through personal friends and friends of friends. How is it that you met someone from Nigeria on FB?? In other words, how did this relationship initiate?

Its called being a good dectective. The dectective tends to start private messages with females that have an address in the US. My mother before she made her FB page private got a message from one of these smooth talkers. Pity they didn't know that mommy's been with dad for 30 years.

[PMartin37 161]

OP at 20 there's no need to run and get married to the first guy that talks marriage. You're young and everthing looks golden. Delay K1/CR1 process, date, live it up as people your age tend to be, enjoy dating your boyfriend. Following all this you will be able to make a more informed decision on who you are, who your boyfriend is and if you see the relationship going to the next level.

Its called being a good dectective. The dectective tends to start private messages with females that have an address in the US. My mother before she made her FB page private got a message from one of these smooth talkers. Pity they didn't know that mommy's been with dad for 30 years.

I would be highly skeptical if someone contacted ME on FB from around the world ...but that's just me. And it's very common knowledge that they initiate the email scams to "deposit" money in your account from their ultra rich (royal something or other). Also strange is that her parents approve? If that were me, my family would tie me up and anchor me down to the floor to keep me from going over there in these circumstances.

[Lisamarie 79]

I was wondering that too, about the K1.

The Catch 22 in all this is that if you don't spend significant time together in person, that makes your evidence of bona fide relationship pretty slim. If YOUR concern is for the parents to meet your fiancee before marriage, a failed K1 process won't accomplish that. Your chances of obtaining a visa for him are far greater if you live together for some significant time. If for you, that means marriage first, then great.

Why does HE want to take the K1 route?

For your residence together to be in SA instead of Nigeria, (big difference) obviously, you will BOTH need the appropriate visas.

[Nicoco 26]

OP, I think you will probably have to make several trips to his country if you're doing a K-1 and he can't come visit you here.

About you being young, I think it does have some factor into it, because in my case, my husband is 22 and I am 21, and during the interview, the CO railed on him for being "too young" and "why are you not studying?"

But he passed, because I promised them I would finish college, I would be able to support him, and we met when he came here in the US, and I also lived with him for 3 months in his country.

You just have to prove that it is a real relationship by going the extra mile and spending the money to visit a couple of times, and get good support, whether it's by getting a good job or having co-sponsors. You have to be prepared for the long wait if you do K-1 and be prepared for the interview especially since it's Nigeria. Be prepared to be put in AP if it happens.

Maybe I'm immature, but when we were going through the process, we would always joke that if he got denied then we would just live in the jungle of Thailand

I think you can do it! Good luck!

[aaydrian 479]

I would be highly skeptical if someone contacted ME on FB from around the world ...but that's just me. And it's very common knowledge that they initiate the email scams to "deposit" money in your account from their ultra rich (royal something or other) Yup, heard of those (one got some very choice words). Also strange is that her parents approve? If that were me, my family would tie me up and anchor me down to the floor to keep me from going over there in these circumstances. That's weird as well but there can be a number of reasons (which will never make sense to us) as to why the parents are perfectly fine with their daughter's, at this moment, unwise life decision.

Responses in black

[Lisamarie 79]

Agreed. I'm not understanding that part of it at all. If it were my 20 year old daughter I would be telling her she is not traveling there without a "male" companion (brother, father, cousin, etc). I feel worried for you to travel there alone.

I would be highly skeptical if someone contacted ME on FB from around the world ...but that's just me. And it's very common knowledge that they initiate the email scams to "deposit" money in your account from their ultra rich (royal something or other). Also strange is that her parents approve? If that were me, my family would tie me up and anchor me down to the floor to keep me from going over there in these circumstances.

Edited May 14, 2012 by Lisamarie

[Army wife 9]

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.

Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)

I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.

Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.

Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

I couldn't agree more!

Take your time! Especially in this day and age, where a relationship between 2 people who are in the same place and the same time needs so much care, attention and WORK! Compared to a virtual relationship - are you ready for that kind of 'work' at 20 years old? In a country with NO support system?

P.S.

You are young.

Be careful.

Keep your head on your shoulders.

Life isn't running away from you!

AW

[sulhaq 59]

Alright. I have to be completely blunt here. Sorry but it has to be done. I don't care if I come out as rude or if it's been said before already (just skimmed thread, didn't read it fully).

20 year old (naive), unemployed and dependent on parents with less than a decade of conscious worldly experience. *ONLINE* boyfriend from a very high fraud country. She hasn't even spent a day in person with him. Wants to get married first meet.

I don't care how much you say it is genuine I have a really really hard time believing it. This has fraud written all over it and that is *exactly* how USCIS will view it. You can bet on that.

Trust me. Listen to people that have given you good advice in this thread. Listen to your parents who I am 99% sure are fully against this. This will not end well for you.

[AmyWrites 593]

Yes, OP, almost everyone here has viewed this in a not very positive light, a CO will deny it outright.

[Nicoco 26]

People said I was too young and naive. And we're fine now.

She can do it if they really are determined to be together. They just have work harder than usual in the relationship.

[AmyWrites 593]

People said I was too young and naive. And we're fine now.

She can do it if they really are determined to be together. They just have work harder than usual in the relationship.

But you lived together for some months before getting married, didn't you? Would you have done the same had you never met before? (Married I mean)?