Fiance' was cheating while PREGNANT

[belinda63 2,981]

^^^^^^^^^^

What?

[dvc 11]

Has Vietnam signed the Geneva convention regarding child kidnapping? Japan hasn't and there are many cases of divorced foreign men whom have had their children abducted to Japan and have been unable to get them back.

Incorrect, Japan signed the Hague Convention (not the Geneva Convention) on Jan 24 this year.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

Hey,

You'll be the father that your kid will consider the best mom ever!!! My Mom died when I was only two years old, so basically my Dad raised me (until he died when I was 10) and every time we had Mother's Day celebration in preschool/kindergarten...guess what? I would give a bouquet of flower to my dad. He was my Mom! And looking back, I had the best Mom in him! If I could have him still around, I would still buy him a bouquet of flower for each Mother's Day for sure!!! Indeed, I actually did that this Mother's Day too. Went to the cemetary and gave it to him and told him he is the best Mom one can have. He was a very typical man....yet, the best Mom. So, I say enjoy every moment with your sweetie one and you'll see how she'll grow and grow and realize that you're the best dad AND mom ever.

For now yes, way out of our business. She's having a blast partying with her boyfriend, and she hasn't shown one iota of caring for her child. Actions speak louder than words. Many web sites state abandonment of offspring is a strong sign of a sociopathic personality.

The next issues to arise in this case worthy of discussion for now are failure to pay child support based on a court order and consideration of termination of parental rights.

In the meantime I focus on parenting and role modeling until I find a woman worthy of loving and providing as a maternal replacement for my little angel.

Edited May 27, 2014 by AnotherLostSoul

[verysadguy 170]

I couple posts to follow here. Great post lostsoul I get that! Rich and Wen typically visits are on neutral territory as you'll read momentarily. singledad, yes I get that about investing...no spoiling here.

Here is the visit summary, Darnell won't be pleased:

• The "ex" requested a few days prior if she could bring her cousin "x", who’s name I did not recognize came along with her for visitation. I reminded The "ex" that she had supervised visitation and I didn’t think it was a good idea to bring new and/or additional people as this was The "ex"’s time to spend time with her daughter and bond.

• I received an email stating this person knew my daughter (whom to date has seen no one from The "ex" family since the 3 months of age). I did not respond to this email.

• The "ex" arrived on Sunday afternoon with her cousin “x” and spent almost 3 hours with my daughter

• The visit was uneventful and "x" mainly kept her distance and assisted with the usual visit occurence of extensive photograph taking. My daughter did play well with The "ex", although a friend well known to me and the situation noted that other than playing The "ex" did not show much warmth or maternal behavior towards my daughter beyond a playmate or babysitter. My daughter on the other hand often ran to me despite my keeping a reasonable distance away.

• My daughter did not want to kiss The "ex" goodbye an The "ex" appeared saddened.

• A Monday morning meeting was arranged at McDonald’s. The "ex" arrived 30 minutes late and stated her cousin had other things to do. My daughter and The "ex" enjoyed the playground and again The "ex" mainly took dozens of photos. About 30 minutes into the play date, an unknown Asian female arrived with 2 children about ages 1 and 4 and socialized with The "ex" as obvious compatriots and they took many pictures together. The 4 year old female kept inappropriately approaching me, hitting me and pushing me. My friend who was there supervising witnessed this odd behavior.

• At 11am another announced visitor, The "ex"s aunt, arrived and we spoke cordially for a few minutes. My daughter was obviously tired and at this point had come to me to hold, She put her head down and rested after 1 and ½ hours of playing. When I said “Kiss The "ex" goodbye” again she did not want to kiss The "ex". So, we left bid our goodbyes and left.

95% of the time my ex was quiet and non-confrontational as was I. A couple of moments as per usual with my ex was generally responsive with terse and oppositional statements. Some might call her a "B." LOL. Overall, I'm happy there was no drama, but my ex clearly took advantage of the situation with additional unannounced visitors. You can be sure the next visit will be in a location far from her family and much more controlled.

[verysadguy 170]

Part 2:

As an overarching summary, my ex defrauded me. My ex is defrauding the US Government. My ex also was in breach of contract when she agreed in front of witnesses to return to Vietnam with a paid one way ticket, an agreement to a cash settlement for her and her family, and the gift of a $7000 diamond engagement ring that she procured with false love and promises and had returned to me already, and her wanting to return to her boyfriend in Vietnam. As you all recall she skipped out of the airport and filed VAWA based on emotional abuse. Again, no violence, no name calling, no human trafficking, no police. I divorced a sociopathic liar and made her leave the house without my daughter.

Fast forward to yesterday...in a conversation with my ex: "hey, so my daughter loves your jewelry, I have an idea. Why don't you give her the diamond as an act of good faith, and I'll make a nice necklace for her with it."

My ex's response (I'm not kidding you can't make this up, but a liar can), "I don't have it, I don't know where it is, maybe I lost it."

I asked, "Did you sell it, how much did you get for it?"

Her answer, "Maybe I lost it, I don't know where it is."

Well, desperate people do desperate things so I just left it at that. What a waste...

One year behind on child support. Her birthday present for her daughter? A canvas board with ribbons and hair clips from the dollar store. It's the thought that counts!!!

[belinda63 2,981]

I know this is hard for you but try to not judge the ex's private life. She made her life that she thought she wanted and maybe she made some bad choices. That is not for you to judge. You should focus on a positive interaction and relationship between her and your daughter. She will always be your daughter's mother no matter what. Your daughter has a right to know her and make her judgments based upon what she sees and hears from Mom.

[verysadguy 170]

Ok Belinda63, I'm sure my daughter will figure it out on her own someday. I never talk bad about her or act negative around my daughter. Everyone who knows me says I'm the best dad/mom around.

[verysadguy 170]

Oh good gracious, loverboy is so whipped by my sociopathic ex. He posted on his twitter page generically how children are better off after mediation because the parents are working together. Seriously? I'm going to work with a woman who cannot be trusted and still lies incessantly to this day? A woman who when asked about her cabbie friend the convicted felon said "leave him alone." A woman who is a year behind on child support who never bought a single morsel of food, not a single diaper, not a single cup of milk in the child's life ever...I'm not mediating anything. I will follow the court orders to the letter until I have even a sliver of hope to drag her sorry lying #### back to court. May I remind everyone that this woman had me falsely investigated for human trafficking as a ploy to get her green card? And yet USCIS let's her stay in the USA enjoying the fruits of freedom. Disgusting government BS.

I have a happy and healthy well adjusted child. And I will protect her from any sociopathic behavior until my very last breath.

Edited June 3, 2014 by verysadguy

[verysadguy 170]

Scorecard update:

15 months not a penny of child support paid.

Since last December one visit for 4 hours total contact time.

Not a single phone call or Skype contact to the child since New Year's Eve....2011. I'm not kidding.

Numerous internet postings of employment, travel and nights out on the town living the life of freedom on US soil but not being a mother whatsoever. Zip.

Actions speak louder than words.

[tringuyen 11]

Can't she be jailed for failing to pay child support?

[Caryh 5,206]

Can't she be jailed for failing to pay child support?

In some states it happens, but its not that common. I believe they usually call it contempt of court, as theoretically there is no debtors prison in the USA.

[novedsac 355]

Is OP taking action to bring child support up to date?

[Caryh 5,206]

Is OP taking action to bring child support up to date?

I believe he's mainly just happy that she rarely ever comes to see his daughter. If she got deported and never sent a cent ever, he'd be plenty happy.

[novedsac 355]

I believe he's mainly just happy that she rarely ever comes to see his daughter. If she got deported and never sent a cent ever, he'd be plenty happy.

Yeah, I believe that to be very true.

However, he has a responsibility to make an effort to collect child support. Otherwise, complaining she never pays is just a bunch of bitter hot air.

I'm aware of a case where the recipient of the child support never made an effort to collect ... no reminders, no certified mail, no contempt motions, nothing ... and then after a few years they file a contempt motion and the Judge didn't look too kindly on the fact that they managed for all so long without it and never even bothered to try to collect. Most Courts expect a good faith effort to be made.

[Caryh 5,206]

Yeah, I believe that to be very true.

However, he has a responsibility to make an effort to collect child support. Otherwise, complaining she never pays is just a bunch of bitter hot air.

I'm aware of a case where the recipient of the child support never made an effort to collect ... no reminders, no certified mail, no contempt motions, nothing ... and then after a few years they file a contempt motion and the Judge didn't look too kindly on the fact that they managed for all so long without it and never even bothered to try to collect. Most Courts expect a good faith effort to be made.

But if the amount they're supposed to pay is so small it costs more to attempt to collect it, what are you going to do? Although I wouldn't think that type of thing would be that hard to file yourself, still if its time away from work with little chance of collecting, then I'd say complaining but not going through the work to get nothing is OK. My own state orders child support to be paid to the country through direct payroll deduction unless both parties agree not to have it that way. For those that don't pay, the counties are pretty darn good at chasing them down where ever they try to hide in the country, and they'll go after tax returns too.