Pregnant Petitioner

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Speaking from experience as one who petitioned while pregnant, I'd recommend you wait until your spouse is in the US to get pregnant. Anything can happen during a pregnancy, and even a normal pregnancy is miserable to go through alone. It may seem to you now that you can handle it with him being several thousand miles away, but once those hormones start coursing through you, feelings change. Don't overwhelm yourself needlessly. Good luck.

Thank you for your advice in this thread considering that you have petitioned while pregnant.

[jjbandero 39]

It appears that if OP wishes to get pregnant, one of the first things that should be done is to make sure a co-sponsor is available just in case. The reason I say this is because (1) the baby will for sure increase household size, but OP does not yet know how much she will make with a new job related to her degree; and (2) complications with pregnancies may arise, she may not be able to continue working and most employers do not offer extended paid leave beyond what is required by law.

Otherwise best of luck for your journey ahead

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Again no matter how stressful and difficult, the guarantee of even HAVING a child with him is much more important to me. If I had to choose between raising a baby without the father or never raising a baby from the love of my life because he passed away too soon, I would choose the first option. I have never been a fan of "wait until you are "financially stable"." I just do not believe in living life that way, always waiting for the ideal moment, the right time. IDEALLY my true love and soul mate would live at least in the same country as me. IDEALLY we would have the baby in the same country and raise him/her together. IDEALLY we would have enough money to support ourselves in modest luxury. LIFE IS NOT IDEAL. People forget that babies have been born for sooooo many years without all of this extra cost injected into the process. There is more than enough money coming from me and the loved ones around me to ensure this baby will have a good life. I've seen my own mom raise me as a single parent and our money troubles did nothing but make us stronger and appreciative of life. I am sorry but money is not going to dictate when my future husband and I have our baby. We are not THAT poor and destitute that we couldn't even manage to pay for the bare necessities and having more is not a REQUIREMENT for a happy life.

[KittyPollitt 284]

Again no matter how stressful and difficult, the guarantee of even HAVING a child with him is much more important to me. If I had to choose between raising a baby without the father or never raising a baby from the love of my life because he passed away too soon, I would choose the first option. I have never been a fan of "wait until you are "financially stable"." I just do not believe in living life that way, always waiting for the ideal moment, the right time. IDEALLY my true love and soul mate would live at least in the same country as me. IDEALLY we would have the baby in the same country and raise him/her together. IDEALLY we would have enough money to support ourselves in modest luxury. LIFE IS NOT IDEAL. People forget that babies have been born for sooooo many years without all of this extra cost injected into the process. There is more than enough money coming from me and the loved ones around me to ensure this baby will have a good life. I've seen my own mom raise me as a single parent and our money troubles did nothing but make us stronger and appreciative of life. I am sorry but money is not going to dictate when my future husband and I have our baby. We are not THAT poor and destitute that we couldn't even manage to pay for the bare necessities and having more is not a REQUIREMENT for a happy life.

I think you're 100% right on all points. Just think hard about it before you make a decision. Life is not ideal, but right now you have the chance to make a choice. It's only a matter of a year's difference in timing, and he'd be able to be there to hear the baby's heartbeat, help you get around to appointments, and hold your hand during labor. My husband needlessly missed out on all of those things, because we rushed and got pregnant before he was here. I tried to make him as involved as possible over the phone, and via webcam, but when our daughter ended up in the NICU for a week and he couldn't see her, he was inconsolable, and I still feel crappy about it 2 years later. I really wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose.

[jjbandero 39]

I think perhaps you misunderstood my post, it's about satisfying the financial requirements set out by USCIS... They will want to see all of the necessary paperwork and if you have it all ready to go, then there wouldn't be any additional delays in the already long visa process

[SmilesAbroad 27]

I think you're 100% right on all points. Just think hard about it before you make a decision. Life is not ideal, but right now you have the chance to make a choice. It's only a matter of a year's difference in timing, and he'd be able to be there to hear the baby's heartbeat, help you get around to appointments, and hold your hand during labor. My husband needlessly missed out on all of those things, because we rushed and got pregnant before he was here. I tried to make him as involved as possible over the phone, and via webcam, but when our daughter ended up in the NICU for a week and he couldn't see her, he was inconsolable, and I still feel crappy about it 2 years later. I really wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose.

Thank you. I heard from someone else on this thread that our AP could take a very long time. It may not be only a year. It could be 2 or 3 or 4 and still result in a denial. We have both decided that having the baby sooner rather than later is the best option for us. If the visa cannot came after a year we will take plan C, D, F. I forget which letter we are on now...

[SmilesAbroad 27]

I think perhaps you misunderstood my post, it's about satisfying the financial requirements set out by USCIS... They will want to see all of the necessary paperwork and if you have it all ready to go, then there wouldn't be any additional delays in the already long visa process

I understood your post, my reply after it was not in response to you. I was writing that when you posted and I didn't notice it until after. Thank you for the advice.

[J&N* 68]

You NEED to be at least financially stable to have and raise a baby. Do you want to live on welfare? If you don't have a good stable job you won't have insurance that covers pregnancy and maternity, also babies need insurance so adding them to your insurance will require you to pay more. Also, if you work to support the fatherless baby, who will watch the baby? Babies cost a lot of money, how will you budget for that + wedding + apartment/furniture. Please keep in mind that babies are not puppies. Please sign up at a pregnancy or motherhood forum and read what they go through financially and emotionally. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. This world is not IDEAL that's exactly why you need to be financially stable.

I know that you've the best intentions and you really want to be a mom and you love kids, all of those things are beautiful, but please take all our advice into consideration and remember that you won't have that determination every single day. You don't want to deal with pregnancy, child birth and taking care of an infant + job + visa/green card headaches. When my sister in law was pregnant she couldn't get out of bed because of fatigue and nausea.

[SmilesAbroad 27]

This is ridiculous. First of all, I have insurance and it covers me well and is not tied to my job. Second of all we are muslims, our wedding does not cost thousands of dollars. It is a simple ceremony where we tell our religious leader (Imam) that we are marrying and sign a contract. DONE. Its COMPLETELY ridiculous to suggest I would need to get on welfare. That is entirely unnecessary. I am not an unskilled worker and neither is my future husband. Everyone in my family has a degree and a good job. Muslims in my community help out with loans when they are really necessary. And there are not as many "necessary" expenses involved in life as so many people seem to think. Good example of this: toilet paper. A necessity? No. Its called water and it cleans better for free. Vitamin pills? Its called eating well and no its not that hard or expensive to do it. Diapers? Not a NECESSITY just easier and nicer. Necessary means that it is somehow NECESSARY for existence, not just BETTER to have. Its not an issue of can I afford a baby but an issue of proving a standard for the visa.

There is no more need to discuss on this post. My original question has been answered.

Thank you to everyone who replied.

[J&N* 68]

This is ridiculous. First of all, I have insurance and it covers me well and is not tied to my job. Second of all we are muslims, our wedding does not cost thousands of dollars. It is a simple ceremony where we tell our religious leader (Imam) that we are marrying and sign a contract. DONE. Its COMPLETELY ridiculous to suggest I would need to get on welfare. That is entirely unnecessary. I am not an unskilled worker and neither is my future husband. Everyone in my family has a degree and a good job. Muslims in my community help out with loans when they are really necessary. And there are not as many "necessary" expenses involved in life as so many people seem to think. Good example of this: toilet paper. A necessity? No. Its called water and it cleans better for free. Vitamin pills? Its called eating well and no its not that hard or expensive to do it. Diapers? Not a NECESSITY just easier and nicer. Necessary means that it is somehow NECESSARY for existence, not just BETTER to have. Its not an issue of can I afford a baby but an issue of proving a standard for the visa.

There is no more need to discuss on this post. My original question has been answered.

Thank you to everyone who replied.

I see you don't really need any advice, so I'll make sure to never try to give advice on any of your future posts. Good luck.

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

*** Closed at OP request *****