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Dog Humor

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline

TO: GOD

FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell

one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it

still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the

mustang the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a

dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice

ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler

Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears

him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand

signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic

energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to

apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must

remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw

it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I

like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the

toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of

saying hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee

table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -

not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes

that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my

testicles back?


James & Sara - Aug 12, 05

Humanity... destined to pass the baton shortly.

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very good...always love a good dog and god story...


Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

awww - that's cute:-). Thanks.


“...Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

. Lucy Maude Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

5892822976_477b1a77f7_z.jpg

Another Member of the VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse!

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Algeria
Timeline
TO: GOD

FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell

one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it

still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the

mustang the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a

dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice

ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler

Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears

him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand

signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic

energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to

apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must

remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw

it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I

like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the

toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of

saying hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee

table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house -

not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes

that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my

testicles back?

o snaaaaaaaaps cracked me up

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Filed: Other Timeline
:lol: I nearly snarfed my coffee out my nose! :D

divorced - April 2010 moved back to Ontario May 2010 and surrendered green card

PLEASE DO NOT PRIVATE MESSAGE ME OR EMAIL ME. I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT CURRENT US IMMIGRATION PROCEDURES!!!!!

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline
sh_dogsign.JPG

Me -.us Her -.ma

------------------------

I-129F NOA1: 8 Dec 2003

Interview Date: 13 July 2004 Approved!

US Arrival: 04 Oct 2004 We're here!

Wedding: 15 November 2004, Maui

AOS & EAD Sent: 23 Dec 2004

AOS approved!: 12 July 2005

Residency card received!: 4 Aug 2005

I-751 NOA1 dated 02 May 2007

I-751 biometrics appt. 29 May 2007

10 year green card received! 11 June 2007

Our son Michael is born!: 18 Aug 2007

Apply for US Citizenship: 14 July 2008

N-400 NOA1: 15 July 2008

Check cashed: 17 July 2008

Our son Michael is one year old!: 18 Aug 2008

N-400 biometrics: 19 Aug 2008

N-400 interview: 18 Nov 2008 Passed!

Our daughter Emmy is born!: 23 Dec 2008

Oath ceremony: 29 Jan 2009 Complete! Woo-hoo no more USCIS!

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