A wee bit of Irish Humor...

[almaty 19]

> An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5

> > years. Upon her return, her father cussed her.

> > "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not

> > write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call?

> > Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

> >

> > The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff,

> > sniff....dad....I became a ... a... prostitute... "

> >

> >

> >

> > Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot!

> > Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

> >

> > OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give

> > mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten

> > bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5

> > million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and

> > for ye, daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited

> > edition convertible that's parked outside plus a

> > membership to the country club....(takes a

> > breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New

> > Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera,

> > and...."

> >

> > "Now, what was it ye said ye had become?" says

> > dad.

> >

> > Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a

> > prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."

> >

> > "Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl!

> > I thought ye said a Protestant'. Come here and give

> > yer old man a hug!"

[Jasman0717 8]

[munchkins 0]

Good one that

[irishgirl73 0]

[Sister Fracas 5]

teeheehee

[irishgirl73 0]

here is another one:

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started

swearing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

"When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to swear first, then you

swear after me, ok?"

"Ok, Ok" the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants

for breakfast.

"I'll have some of that Weetabix sh*t"

*SMACK*!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do

YOU want for breakfast, young man????"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but it won't be f**king Weetabix."

Edited February 23, 2006 by irishgirl73

[Bootylicious!! 2]

[CarolineM 0]

[Miranda&James 8]

Hehe

[almaty 19]

the second one was the best.......

[Dixie_Peach 1]

[irishgirl73 0]

Holy Prostitutes and Tough Love

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he

notices a

sign out of the corner of his eye... It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on

without

second thought....Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives

past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the

far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next

to thedoor reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs! ! the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun

in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business...."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding

passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the

door... This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the

large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through

the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds

himself back

in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE

YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

[Dixie_Peach 1]

haha hilarious!!

[Peter Miami 0]

[pri 0]

"but it won't be f**king Weetabix."

I forwarded this to my office peers and were just lauhin r hats off KOOL