DNA results render terrible blow...what now???

[firstlove2 0]

Well, fiance completed DNA results on the children and the results came back showing the children are not biologically his...this is a terrible blow to him as he has been taking care of the children for now 8 years and the children know him as father...embassy will receive the results soon...fiance has custody papers and birth certificate indicating him as father....what to do now??? Help.

As you can imagine...fiance is devastated and angry that the children's mother has lied to him all these years...

Before DNA, he was meant to return to embassy after the results to continue visa processing....don't want to screw up the children's chances of coming to US...

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

The children are not going to get visas, sorry.

[firstlove2 0]

well the children are not his...that is fact now...since mother is out of picture and he has been only one caring for them...

we thought about pursuing legal action that would lead to adoption then bring them to US...

any thoughts...yes, currently, sadly the children will not get visas

[firstlove2 0]

Thank you for your reply...

It is difficult to think of innocent children as "rubbish"...

if anyone is a parent then perhaps can understand now finding out that what you have always known as yours...really isn't...

Devastating!! at the least....

My husband has been the victim of lies and misplaced compassion....his own responsibility for sure...

The children are innocent and we wish to protect them.

[sonny&sunny 0]

Move on??? It's easier to said than done

He love the kids as his own.

Adoption is another option but it will take a loooooong process.

Edited August 1, 2011 by sonny&sunny

[firstlove2 0]

Move on??? It's easier to said than done

He love the kids as his own.

Adoption is another option but it will take a loooooong process.

[firstlove2 0]

we talk to the children and all they know is "daddy" and now know me as "mommy"...

what would the psychological impact be on the children to now never see or hear from "daddy" or "mommy" again....

anyway. enough of sentiment...anyone have perhaps any referrals for attorney's in Nigeria...

Thanks again and God bless you all

[firstlove2 0]

it seems your comments indicate that you do not understand...the mother handed the children over years ago and has not been around for their care...not even in the country...

the children literally don't have any contact with her...so we are not trying to remove children from their mother....

we are, however, trying to maintain the children with us...all to God's glory

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Wow Kunleseun....I am speechless about your coldhearted reply. To call children "rubbish " because they are not his biological children is way over the top and downright cruel and uncalled for.

Is it their fault that their mother lied ? What will become of them having a mother "no longer in the picture" and now losing the only father figure they have ever known ? I want to say things to you but that would get the thread locked and me banned so I will sit on my hands instead.

I don't know if adoption would be an option. I doubt it, not after the fact of petitioning. It could very well be possible for him to be looked at suspiciously now like he knew they weren't his and he tried to sneak in family or a friend's children. Lagos is like that and it happens enough for DNA to be requested. So sorry you are all going through this. Try Marc Ellis, he is a member here on VJ and a good attorney. You will need one. Get a phone consultation and then decide what you will do next. I have read before that if children would lose their care taker then it is unlikely that a visa would be granted to the care taker, father, mother or guardian. I hope someone who may have gone through this will respond. May God bless your journey.

[firstlove2 0]

Thank you,

we processed our k-1 visa and fiance is here in US and now we are married....AOS, EAD,and AP filed recently...waiting for all that comes with adjustment of status.

the children are being processed through Nigeria embassy as they were attending private school there while staying with his family....they have no one but him...

he is here in US...gratefully. I can't imagine him going through this alone....

I am concerned about immigration...everything else was in place...birth certificates...custody papers, etc....

I just can't imagine that the legal system now would not be able to help...

Thank you all for you posts....

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Firstlove2, sorry I missed that he is already with you. Wishing you the very best. HUGS. Hope you find a good attorney and give us an update of what he thinks.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

A number of completely inappropriate comments violating TOS have been removed as well as one member thread banned from participating in this thread.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

There was another couple with the same issue a couple of years ago, bio mom deceased , DNA tested, results negative. I forget their name but they were Nigerian and I think they were going for a CR1 from Nigeria.

I concur with the Marc Ellis suggestion.

What are your plans as a couple for spending time in Nigeria ? I know many that run as far away as possible and others that make it their second home. You may have better luck adopting the children through Nigeria. Your husband would meet the required custody rules under Nigerian law. If they have been staying with his family there and going to private school it may be the least disruptive. You say that the mother isn't in country , do you know where she is ? You may need to locate her to sign away rights and possibly name the potential father ( if your husband doesn't know ) to do the same.

[firstlove2 0]

Yes...plan on tackling the adoption through Nigeria...absolutely. tried to search for Marc Ellis contact info but haven't found him yet...

know that the children will be denied as it stands currently....Really hard to talk to them and hear their tiny voices...innocent and unaware of the happenings.

For those who pray...hold us up to the heavens for God's guidance and intervention

Thank you

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Well, fiance completed DNA results on the children and the results came back showing the children are not biologically his...this is a terrible blow to him as he has been taking care of the children for now 8 years and the children know him as father...embassy will receive the results soon...fiance has custody papers and birth certificate indicating him as father....what to do now??? Help.

As you can imagine...fiance is devastated and angry that the children's mother has lied to him all these years...

Before DNA, he was meant to return to embassy after the results to continue visa processing....don't want to screw up the children's chances of coming to US...

Before going into panic, explore what the laws/possibilities are of adopting in the native country. Maybe even expedited. Nothing is impossible.

Given that he's been caring for them for years, there might be a way. I do not know how the laws are in Nigeria though, you would need a good family attorney there. Maybe some other Nigeria nationals here can recommend.

Another alternative is adoption from here, which likely would take time, but there might be consideration for this situation. This is not a case of children abandoned, living in a foster home and being put for adoption. I'd start here with an organization that does international adoption for an attorney recommendation.

Good luck, you are doing a good thing