What are your 'friends' saying?

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Marriage equality is a natural evolution out of the need for women to be able survive should the marriage not last or if the husband dies.

I think they call that... RE-marriage.

You know, like when my ex decided to throw a marriage of 17 years away to pursue a life of "happiness" with a kid 11 years younger than her, who didn't have a job, that she met on the internet. She gave up the security of our marriage and my income to marry him. And now is realizing that while money isn't everything, and it certainly does NOT buy happiness.... it DOES pay the bills each month.

I suspect my younger, loving, intelligent Filipina bride will be all right after her "old geezer" dies, we all do what we need to to survive.

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Here in America, people tend to view modern marriage as an equal partnership, where both spouses are pretty much on equal footing with regard to education, maturity, etc. When a woman is totally dependent on her husband financially, she's vulnerable should anything happen to him and if he's quite a bit older, chances are she'll be alive for a long time after he's passed away.

While that may be true in some cases, my wife will be MUCH better off after I die, so where is the equality in THAT? Isn't she taking advantage of an old geezer who is smart enough to buy life insurance? Perhaps my Filipina bride is just depriving some "more worthy" American woman of financial freedom upon my death, as opposed to being "vulnerable" after she survives me?

[rlogan 2,036]

I didn't read Steven's post as saying Filipina's are helpless, unworthy, etc. as you are trying to say. Rather, I read it as saying that when a woman is financially dependent on a husband who is vastly older than her, she can be vulnerable after his death. The key words here are "when a woman is financially dependent." Wouldn't you agree that if a younger woman, who doesn't work outside the home, is married to a much older man and is entirely dependent on him financially, she is at risk of being vulnerable (financially -- not as a "weak woman") should he die unexpectedly?

I don't agree at all with this illogical tale. First, we propose a young Filipina married to a "vastly older" Americano, who she has married because of the financial security he represents. She's set for life. But then we magically transform this set-for-life filipina into a pauper when he dies "unexpectedly". There! We have our dependent, vulnerable, child filipina. We need to throw in stupid too. Both her and her Americano are too stupid to have thought about him dying, despite how old he is.

This shows more about the people telling the half-baked tale or swallowing it than it does about Filipinas. It shows the person has a predisposition to view Filipinas as dependent, at-risk, inferior beings. Vague insinuations will do, not even weaving a complete story, because the dependent, vulnerable child image doesn't need logic and facts. It's best not to have them in fact. When you try to put the details on this imaginary Filipina, you see how silly it is.

It is only patronizing people from the first world that have this default view of filipinas - seeing them as dependent, helpless, non-productive, non-educable beings that cannot plan ahead. The people around her in her home country are going to view her just the opposite - as a superstar.

A man who travels internationally is viewed as a swashbuckling, adventurous person. Someone with confidence and poise. Intelligence and experience. Two languages? Oh my. But a Filipina who does so for marriage is not viewed that way by many people in the first world country. No, she is dependent, at-risk, vulnerable, etc. or a scammer or a prostitute for security and a green card. Her family in the home country on the other hand is going to view her as the adventurous, confident, intelligent and experienced one. They will think her wise beyond her years and ask her counsel on important decisions.

I am not proposing these prejudicial observations on my own. There's a good book on the "Rescue Industry" by a woman I largely agree with, and she talks about immigrant women exactly this way - exposes the racism, bigotry and hypocrisy involved in how we view them. People do not realize they are tipping their hand on their innate bigotry or racism when without thought they propose or buy into a pejorative stereotype like this.

Cheers.

Edited July 2, 2011 by rlogan

[tallcoolone 102]

Cheers.

Cheers.

This is an American Forum, Not a British Forum............................................

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Trolling much these days?

My internet still works and I read lots of places. I could have been a bit more tactful though, I'll give you that.

RJ is looking for a fight.

No. I am dumbfounded.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I don't agree at all with this illogical tale. First, we propose a young Filipina married to a "vastly older" Americano, who she has married because of the financial security he represents. She's set for life. But then we magically transform this set-for-life filipina into a pauper when he dies "unexpectedly". There! We have our dependent, vulnerable, child filipina. We need to throw in stupid too. Both her and her Americano are too stupid to have thought about him dying, despite how old he is.

This shows more about the people telling the half-baked tale or swallowing it than it does about Filipinas. It shows the person has a predisposition to view Filipinas as dependent, at-risk, inferior beings. Vague insinuations will do, not even weaving a complete story, because the dependent, vulnerable child image doesn't need logic and facts. It's best not to have them in fact. When you try to put the details on this imaginary Filipina, you see how silly it is.

It is only patronizing people from the first world that have this default view of filipinas - seeing them as dependent, helpless, non-productive, non-educable beings that cannot plan ahead. The people around her in her home country are going to view her just the opposite - as a superstar.

A man who travels internationally is viewed as a swashbuckling, adventurous person. Someone with confidence and poise. Intelligence and experience. Two languages? Oh my. But a Filipina who does so for marriage is not viewed that way by many people in the first world country. No, she is dependent, at-risk, vulnerable, etc. or a scammer or a prostitute for security and a green card. Her family in the home country on the other hand is going to view her as the adventurous, confident, intelligent and experienced one. They will think her wise beyond her years and ask her counsel on important decisions.

I am not proposing these prejudicial observations on my own. There's a good book on the "Rescue Industry" by a woman I largely agree with, and she talks about immigrant women exactly this way - exposes the racism, bigotry and hypocrisy involved in how we view them. People do not realize they are tipping their hand on their innate bigotry or racism when without thought they propose or buy into a pejorative stereotype like this.

Cheers.

The "negative judgments" you are fretting about don't have anything to do with your woman being a Filipina. Older US men married to younger US women get the same things said about them, you know. You are the one putting the racist spin on it.

There are plenty of young, beautiful women in the US who are lower on the educational ladder than the male participants of this thread. They would be happy to be "kept" by an older man with loads of life insurance. I don't know if you all went looking for them or not. If so, why were they judged "unworthy".

Come on, give it to me straight. Without any cultural or racist spin.

[B_J 2,752]

I'm definitely older than my fiance and also more educated (although definitely not more intelligent); so I've given thought to the issue being discussed. First, when she finally gets here (stupid sputum test) I'll let her decide what her eventual goals will be. She may decide to go to college, go to work, or stay at home. I respect her judgement enough (and I respect her enough) to let her make this decision.

We eventually will move back to the Philippines when I retire. We will have saved money and, of course, I will have life insurance. But, most importantly, we have family. When I'm gone, I know she can rely on her family, just as they can rely on me now. She will have a place to live, money in savings, life insurance, and family by her side. I sincerely do not plan to leave her broke and homeless.

Also, if I happen to pass away while she is here, she will still have our savings, life insurance, and she will have my family that she can always rely on. It's just the way some of us were raised.

Edited July 2, 2011 by B_J

[SuperDuper! 230]

While that may be true in some cases, my wife will be MUCH better off after I die, so where is the equality in THAT? Isn't she taking advantage of an old geezer who is smart enough to buy life insurance? Perhaps my Filipina bride is just depriving some "more worthy" American woman of financial freedom upon my death, as opposed to being "vulnerable" after she survives me?

2 thumbs up here! :thumbs:

This is how it should be. The much younger filipina inherits the mature man's substantial assets.

What, the ol' guy died broke as a joke? No life insurance, No house, no retirement account, no pension, no cars, no nothin'? No way!

She didn't marry a homeless beer bum.

She married a fiscal financially responsible guy, and man of means.

She gave her youth and best years of her life to a guy that takes care of her long after he's gone.

This is how WE do it.

How Fudge Report does it while looking for 2 dimes to rub together is on him.

Edited July 2, 2011 by Boing!

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Cheers.

This is an American Forum, Not a British Forum............................................

Ummm, actually, this is a Philippines forum. Says so right in the Regional Discussion area.

Cheers!

[gretchen_darren 67]

know what the major difference about filipinas is?????

Many Filipinas are faithful LONG LONG LONG after the spouse dies.

The question is why???? What makes her that way??? What is the difference???

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

know what the major difference about filipinas is?????

Many Filipinas are faithful LONG LONG LONG after the spouse dies.

The question is why???? What makes her that way??? What is the difference???

Can you substantiate the fact that Filipina women are more faithful than women from other countries? With a reliable source? Or is this just your opinion?

[tallcoolone 102]

Can you substantiate the fact that Filipina women are more faithful than women from other countries? With a reliable source? Or is this just your opinion?

It's a fact and also Common Knowledge...........................

It's a also a fact that most are petite and most are 5 foot to 5'4" and most weigh around 100 lbs

It's a also a fact that chicks from Philippines are known around the World for their beauty...............

[southcalhog 43]

It's a fact and also Common Knowledge...........................

It's a also a fact that most are petite and most are 5 foot to 5'4" and most weigh around 100 lbs

It's a also a fact that chicks from Philippines are known around the World for their beauty...............

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

It's a fact and also Common Knowledge...........................

It's a also a fact that most are petite and most are 5 foot to 5'4" and most weigh around 100 lbs

It's a also a fact that chicks from Philippines are known around the World for their beauty...............

If it is a fact, then you can show me the data. Otherwise, it is just a perception. I do not believe you can show me any data from any source which would categorically prove the women from one nation are "more faithful" than another nation.

I don't know if it is fair to say that most Filipina's are "petite" and weight around 100 pounds. There's a Filipina woman across the street from me who is probably around 5" 4", but she's not close to 100 pounds. More like 150 or 160. Her husband is older than her by what appears to be around 20 years. She goes out to work each morning about 6 am as a CNA in a nursing home.

There's also a Filipina woman at our facility who is an MD. She's probably 5'4" or so but pushing 150 pounds. She's always well dressed and is quite smart. Her husband is from the Philippines and he is also an MD.

[B_J 2,752]

know what the major difference about filipinas is?????

Many Filipinas are faithful LONG LONG LONG after the spouse dies.

The question is why???? What makes her that way??? What is the difference???

Can you substantiate the fact that Filipina women are more faithful than women from other countries? With a reliable source? Or is this just your opinion?

Okay, I have to ask: With all due respect, what are you hoping to accomplish?

Darren didn't say "all Filipinas" or "most Filipinas", he simply said "many Filipinas". He also was speaking about them remaining faithful after the spouse dies. He didn't necessarily say they were more faithful in the marriage than other women; he was pointing out something different - after the spouse dies. If this is something he has witnessed, it is an interesting topic and I'd be curious to know more. So, what issue do you have with what he said?

So, again, what are you hoping to accomplish?