What are your 'friends' saying?

[Michael and Milahjean 0]

Hey spikedog,

Been meaning to contact you for a while. Only occasionally check VJ nowadays. I lived in Lafayette for a few years before moving to Ohio. My grown kids graduated from Purdue ('99 and '05). Go Boilers!!

Anyway, my asawa and I are 30 years difference. I never really had any disparaging comments in advance of her arrival (in 2007), but after her arrival the curious looks even today are frequent. We have a 3 year old girl and are expecting another (boy) in September. Most comments and/or glances I just shrug off...not really of any malicious intent. Last week I had a neighbor's grown son ask me if my little girl was my grand daughter..hehe. I responded with a chuckling laugh "Lord, no...she's my daughter", which then seemed to startle him. Then last night at the local mega-grocery while chasing my little one down the aisles while my buntis asawa patiently awaits, I had an older gentlemen admire her (and my) energy and then ask me if I was ex-military....obviously he had concluded that we had met as a result of military service in a faraway land. I just chuckle....

My family lives in east-central Illinois. We pass through Lafayette lots. Let us know if we can be of assistance to you.

Take care,

Mike and MJ

I posted a couple of days ago about my age difference. Thanks BTW about the info.

I would like to ask members here (particularly the guys) what are some of the most outrageous comments that you have received after others found out about your foreign fiance'? I am continuing to hear uninformed options and now I am actually enjoying the crazy questions and advise. I think many people think that all you have to do is buy her a plane ticket and marry her when she arrives. Viola' she is a fully-legal US citizen. I wish it were that easy!

Here are some of my favorites:

1. She only wants a green card.

1a. She only wants to come to the US and become a citizen.

1b. She will run off and become a citizen as soon as she arrives.

2. Did you buy a child bride? (20 year age diff).

3. What don't you like American women.

4. Where is she going to live when she gets here? (with me of course)

5. Don't rush into marriage when she gets here -- give it about 6 months to see if you like her. (we are doing a K1)

I have been listening to this stuff for about 6 months now and would like to share.

Jim

[tallcoolone 102]

I posted a couple of days ago about my age difference. Thanks BTW about the info.

I would like to ask members here (particularly the guys) what are some of the most outrageous comments that you have received after others found out about your foreign fiance'? I am continuing to hear uninformed options and now I am actually enjoying the crazy questions and advise. I think many people think that all you have to do is buy her a plane ticket and marry her when she arrives. Viola' she is a fully-legal US citizen. I wish it were that easy!

Here are some of my favorites:

1. She only wants a green card.

1a. She only wants to come to the US and become a citizen.

1b. She will run off and become a citizen as soon as she arrives.

2. Did you buy a child bride? (20 year age diff).

3. What don't you like American women.

4. Where is she going to live when she gets here? (with me of course)

5. Don't rush into marriage when she gets here -- give it about 6 months to see if you like her. (we are doing a K1)

I have been listening to this stuff for about 6 months now and would like to share.

Jim

Old Caribou eating young grass

[rlogan 2,036]

From friends - they were struck by her youth, beauty, and charm. Because they know me, their comments are along the lines of how wonderful she has been for my life. They were all thrilled for me because I was thrilled.

Malicious people will of course try to invalidate your marriage and put you on the defensive with the types of comments mentioned in the OP. Maximum jealousy and envy.

Those aren't your friends.

[gretchen_darren 67]

Kids: we can't wait until she gets here so she can finally cook some good meals.

X: so how OLD is she?? Really??? Yeah right!!!!

Friends: How in the _____ did you marry up? She is gorgeous... and you well....

Others: uh uh, cradle robber/ shopping for little girls clothes/glad it ain't my daughter/how could you???/she is going to take you for a ride...../mid-life crisis huh???/ does your ex know yet??/she is not even old enough to be your kids mom.../guess the farmer's daughter was unavailable..../love living in the dream, it will become a nightmare soon.../couldn't get a local cheerleader huh?/ just wanted to make sure you could win the argument?/why didn't you just hire a nanny or a maid instead? /what is wrong with us american girls?

and many others.... of course the nice part is many think I am much younger then I am....

[one...two...tree 2,762]

From friends - they were struck by her youth, beauty, and charm. Because they know me, their comments are along the lines of how wonderful she has been for my life. They were all thrilled for me because I was thrilled.

Malicious people will of course try to invalidate your marriage and put you on the defensive with the types of comments mentioned in the OP. Maximum jealousy and envy.

Those aren't your friends.

Here in America, people tend to view modern marriage as an equal partnership, where both spouses are pretty much on equal footing with regard to education, maturity, etc. When a woman is totally dependent on her husband financially, she's vulnerable should anything happen to him and if he's quite a bit older, chances are she'll be alive for a long time after he's passed away.

Edited June 30, 2011 by 8TBVBN

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Here in America, people tend to view modern marriage as an equal partnership, where both spouses are pretty much on equal footing with regard to education, maturity, etc. When a woman is totally dependent on her husband financially, she's vulnerable should anything happen to him and if he's quite a bit older, chances are she'll be alive for a long time after he's passed away.

Blah. Blah. Blah. There are all kinds of marriages in the US. Not everybody gets married by being dunked in a barrel of dandelion wine in the middle of a hippie drum circle. Equality is overrated.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Blah. Blah. Blah. There are all kinds of marriages in the US. Not everybody gets married by being dunked in a barrel of dandelion wine in the middle of a hippie drum circle. Equality is overrated.

Marriage equality is a natural evolution out of the need for women to be able survive should the marriage not last or if the husband dies.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Marriage equality is a natural evolution out of the need for women to be able survive should the marriage not last or if the husband dies.

A woman can always survive, as long as the merchandise is still in salable condition, or, she has a good divorce lawyer.

[DARUMA07 25]

It doesn't matter to me what others think. I have been married to my beautiful Filipina 4 years today........ Life is great!!!!!!!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

It doesn't matter to me what others think. I have been married to my beautiful Filipina 4 years today........ Life is great!!!!!!!

Congrats!

[sjr09 155]

It doesn't matter to me what others think. I have been married to my beautiful Filipina 4 years today........ Life is great!!!!!!!

Congrats

[DARUMA07 25]

Congrats!

Congrats

Thank You!!!! I heard a lot of negative things from family and friends, but I refused to let others control my life and my Happiness..... When I first went to the Philippines to meet Ruchie, the worst thing that could of happened was (A vacation) or the best thing was ( Meeting and getting to know my future wife).......

[JoBri 545]

An early HAPPY BIRTHDAY!, to the baby!

Thank you very much!

[tallcoolone 102]

It doesn't matter to me what others think. I have been married to my beautiful Filipina 4 years today........ Life is great!!!!!!!

[sunandmoon 450]

It doesn't matter to me what others think. I have been married to my beautiful Filipina 4 years today........ Life is great!!!!!!!

Congrats Happy Anniversay