Is your life on hold?

[vartan 0]

my life is completely on hold.... I have been miserable without my fiancee and it actually has been getting worse these past few days.. I have went out 1 time while she was gone because my time is work sleep and her.. my poor dog does not get as much attention as he should because I have no real free time.. She is my second half and completes my thoughts.. half my thoughts are not complete now.. anyway .. may sound pathetic .. and I am sure it is .. but I can't wait till she is back .. her packet 3 got lost in the mail and she never got it.. And to add on to everything I had to have costly surgery and the bills are creeping up on me and I am unsure of whether I will have the money to buy her plane ticket for her to come back .. which means I would have to wait an extra 2 weeks to get paid again .... when life throws a wrench it throws a big one..

[CarolineM 0]

did I miss my husband while I was waiting for him? Yes. Was I sad and miserable without him? Yes. Was my life on hold?? No.

You have to have your own life and be content with that before you can add someone else. I went out, I had my own friends, I played soccer, I did things that didn't revolve around me just working, eating, and missing him. Just my opinion but you have to have a life that doens't just involve you being so wrapped up in your SO.

[YuAndDan 153]

I cannot agree more, I tend to do tend to get up and chat briefly with my girl I am heading to work and she is finishing for the day, I get to work and we chat while I do my duties, computer services has it privileges, about an hour before lunch is time for her to go to bed, then it is the long period until the evening and I can chat with her while she is at her job she teaches and usually no class before lunch.

The 12 hours difference means we have 2 windows a day when we can chat, 9-12 in the evening or morning.

It is the bright spot of my day.

We count the days until we can dispense with the computers and truly CHAT!

[CarolineM 0]

There is a difference between missing your SO terribly and putting your life on hold.

[mybackpages 0]

On the cusp of big change.

I think this phrase best explains how I feel...life is not on hold exactly, but moving forward is not possible because the USCIS has control of when and how future decisions will be made.

My friends laugh and tell me I am nesting. I'm cleaning out the closet and drawers to make space. I'm painting the walls, redecorating from single gal's apartment to OUR apartment. It's the only things I can control at this point. The change is coming and I am sitting on the cusp...anxious for it to move forward and yet waiting...waiting....

I have the best support from friends and family, but it is still great to come here and hear from others who are experiencing the same things. Unless you have done this, there is really no way to understand this process.

[Fandango 1,439]

I think there's a very fine line with 'putting your life on hold' and being completely co-dependent.

My love life is on hold.....our family planning is on hold...but I have a life too - friends, family, a job, interests....sure it's not the same without him, but him being far away doesn't mean I cease to exist.

And vice versa.

[CarolineM 0]

Exactly what I was trying to say - just more eloquent as usual

[ya falaha! 0]

Yep my life feels like it's on hold too. I can't plan ahead for anything since I haven't a clue as to when my husband will be here. In a way I'm used to living alone (well my kids live with me half the week) and doing things on my own. I think the hardest for me is hanging out with my friends who are couples and my other half is in another country. Seeing other couples together doing couple activities is soo difficult for me.

[Fandango 1,439]

Exactly what I was trying to say - just more eloquent as usual

we're on a wavelength, lol

[hockeygal 0]

My love life is on hold.....our family planning is on hold...but I have a life too - friends, family, a job, interests....sure it's not the same without him, but him being far away doesn't mean I cease to exist.

I didn't take this topic so literally. I am still working and socializing and working out and even going on trips. But do feel like I can't fully live my life while I am stuck in this process. Perhaps it is different when you are the USC. For my part, I have to wrap things up... apartment, job, bank accounts, paperwork, medical stuff etc. Everything I own is packed in boxes. My future life is unkown in so many ways. I am eager to begin it with him, but when I sit down and think about everything that is still to come before I am a fully working, socializing being with her own life in the US.... it can be overwhelming! That makes me feel like I am on hold a little!

did any of that make sense?

[Fandango 1,439]

My love life is on hold.....our family planning is on hold...but I have a life too - friends, family, a job, interests....sure it's not the same without him, but him being far away doesn't mean I cease to exist.

I didn't take this topic so literally. I am still working and socializing and working out and even going on trips. But do feel like I can't fully live my life while I am stuck in this process. Perhaps it is different when you are the USC. For my part, I have to wrap things up... apartment, job, bank accounts, paperwork, medical stuff etc. Everything I own is packed in boxes. My future life is unkown in so many ways. I am eager to begin it with him, but when I sit down and think about everything that is still to come before I am a fully working, socializing being with her own life in the US.... it can be overwhelming! That makes me feel like I am on hold a little!

did any of that make sense?

Perfect sense...I wasn't referring to your situation....I can totally see how your life would be in an upheaval waiting to move on to the next step...but at the same time, you're still socializing, not refraining from doing things because it's 'just not the same without him'

Good luck!

[iceyspots 0]

yup we arent getting any younger here, we need to make babies

[Alex+R 0]

Sometimes this process can throw a wrench into things though, although I have found that the very act of *letting* it put my life on hold made my relationship suffer.

I still enjoy my interests and my friends (ok the very very few that still live in Minneapolis), family, and I work a LOT, but this K1 deal has really affected my choice of where to move (ultimately went back and settled on NYC) and when to do so (should I just move into a 1BR right away or sublet for awhile and get a feel for where to move?) etc. etc.

In that sense, my life kind of *was* on hold, and it was affecting my relationship. Finally we just agreed to do exactly what I'd been wanting to do... in the end, putting my life on hold was detrimental to the relationship itself (I felt controlled by it) and I had to say, you know what, I don't know when he's going to get here, so I'd better just keep going with my plans of moving, etc. etc.

I hope that made sense.

[babybunny 2]

Waiting for this process to conclude so that our lives can move forward is torture. I'm alive but I'm not really living life because I'm incomplete without my beloved here with me. Does anyone else feel like their lives are on hold? If not, how are you feeling? How are you cooping with this situation?

my life has been on hold for 1 1/2 over years waiting for my bingo. yeah my life is freaking on hold.

I dont travel like I used to. alot of hobbys lost its flavor. I dont go out I dont do nothing. I have

become a drone. I dont care either- keeps me outta trouble that way.

I rather do things with my husband. so I do take this thread litterly.

the best way I cope with our feelings is we talk daily. I do cry, I get upset

but, then get over it. I know at the end of this doo doos. I will have my sweetie and he is

waiting for me. that in itself is what keeps me going.

Wow And i thought My life is pathetic.

heh

try being on AP/AR for a year torn from your love and you cant do a dayum thing about it.

There is a difference between missing your SO terribly and putting your life on hold.

well explain the diffrence to me .. I sure hell dont know

[mychelle 1]

my life is not on hold because i still do the things i used to do before i met my fiance (other than dating other people i mean. ) it's not a problem for me to go places alone or with family and friends to but it would be a super huge plus to do all that with him here.

i did try to stop doing things for a while since i missed him so much i felt so depress. there were days where i would just sleep, eat, work and talk to my fiance but i notice that i had nothing interesting to share. we can only talk about our life in the past so much...so when we get to topics such as...what happened today? talk to so and so? anything interesting? saw something on tv? movies? read anything new lately?...i had nothing to say because i was living the "same sh*t different day" kinda life. he feels depress too hearing me not doing anything or just staying home...i noticed the same with him too...so we end urging each other to go out and hangout with friends occasionally...of course...making time for each other is still the priority.

it would be detrimental to your health as a couple if you cease to do a lot of things while you're apart. there is that one big advantage on having a long-distance relationship...the fact that you get to do a lot more things on your own and not feel guilty about it.

enjoy each day on your own...before you know it...they'll be here and they will bug the hell out of you 'coz you're in each other's face 24/7.

Edited September 7, 2006 by mychelle