I feel like crying. Guh.

[bebop + rocksteady 0]

I know there are people that have been waiting a LOT longer than I, but I just got to the point where there are VSC people that sent in their petitions at the same time I did that are getting approved and it's making my stomach turn.

I am SO happy for people getting approved, but I am SO jealous. I feel guilty for being so jealous. I should be excited and giddy for people heading towards their next step, but I can't help but feel resentment.

I just got back last night from Canada, and seeing my Craigory for 4 days didn't help the situation. I'm grateful for being able to see him so often, but at the same time, it makes it harder. Because just as I start to get used to daily life without him, I go visit and I get reminded of how amazingly glorious daily life is WITH him.

Guh. CSC. C'mon now. Give us all a break.

Cass (bebop the great)

[m_olask 0]

yeah its not easy for any of us stuck in the nightmare that is the visa application process.

I dont think you have much to worry about if you feel bad about feeling bad, the really unpleasant folk are the ones who dont feel like that

just try and take comfort in whatever you can, i know thats almost impossible at times but this is hopefully a one time thing and ever day that passes is a day closer to finally being together

[Carlawarla 1]

Thanks for your honesty in admitting your jealousy and the proverbial guilt! Hang in there, this is a great place for hope and encouragement.

You're always so upbeat and rallying the troops....sometimes, especially after a visit with your loved one, it's hard to get back up eh?

Big Hugs!

Carla

[TheZilla 0]

I know there are people that have been waiting a LOT longer than I, but I just got to the point where there are VSC people that sent in their petitions at the same time I did that are getting approved and it's making my stomach turn.

I am SO happy for people getting approved, but I am SO jealous. I feel guilty for being so jealous. I should be excited and giddy for people heading towards their next step, but I can't help but feel resentment.

I just got back last night from Canada, and seeing my Craigory for 4 days didn't help the situation. I'm grateful for being able to see him so often, but at the same time, it makes it harder. Because just as I start to get used to daily life without him, I go visit and I get reminded of how amazingly glorious daily life is WITH him.

Guh. CSC. C'mon now. Give us all a break.

Cass (bebop the great)

First of all, I think it's quite human to feel jealous of the folks who are lucky enough to be getting faster approvals especially from those who have been waiting for so long. I'm sure there are people who would be jealous of you being able to see your guy so often, as I think there are a lot of people who don't get that chance. I think everyone here is in different situations, with different mixed feelings about everything. I don't think you would resent the people who get approved themselves, as much as resenting your own service center for not moving as fast, which I can definately understand.

And I understand how hard it is to flip-flop between having those wonderful times when you can be together, and then having to adjust to life on your own without him, then getting to be with him again, then being alone again. I've gone through the same thing with my fiance'. and it is a strain on the heart to say the least. I think most everyone here would identify.

Right now I myself am trying to focus on the fact that this process is now in motion to end all the back-and-forth long distance stuff, that it's no longer open ended like it was before with no end in sight. I know how hard it can be, but focusing on the positive stuff does help, because when I focus too much on how much I miss him and how unfair it feels that it's not as easy for us to get married than so many others, I just get very sad and then it affects my relationship with my fiance. It's so understandable to have those days of frustration and heartache, just know you're totally not alone.

And the end WILL come! Just hang on and before you know it, all this pain will be a memory when you start your new life together!

Good luck for the future!

[michellek1976 0]

I know your feeling Cass. It's so hard watching Verment petitioners.

If it makes you feel any better I wish I was in Canada! We're 10,000 miles apart

[Kirsten L 0]

I so know what you mean and completely understand. Me, too. As happy as I am for the Vermonters that are whipping through the process, my heart simultaneously sinks every time I see one of their exhuberant announcements. It is discouraging for those of us who have been given no reason to expect anything but a wait of several months.

Me? I haven't seen my fiancé since late January. I have no money at the moment. Neither does he. And the little bit we do have is being ferretted away so that when he finally gets here, we can survive for the time it's going to take to get his work permit. None of this is fair. Quite frankly, it stinks. And in the last two weeks, life has only gotten bleaker.

My parents just booked tickets to Phoenix to be with my sister and her family for Christmas without even asking me first about my own plans. I can't afford to go. Due to current financial constraints, they can't afford to get me there either. I'm not only going to be in Wisconsin without my fiancé for Christmas, but without my family as well. My parents just forgot all about me until after they'd booked the tickets. I had a good long cry in the car driving home after I got this news the other night. Yeah, I'd give just about anything to be processed by Vermont right about now...and I don't know how many more peppy, happy approval announcements I can take right now...I'm a pretty positive person. This week, I just feel like I've been knocked flat on my back.

Edited September 6, 2006 by Kirsten L

[ready4ONE 5,400]

I completely understand the sentiments expressed. I don't resent the fortunate beneficiaries of Vermont, but it is hard to take the fact that with California our application could languish for months for no other reason beyond not filing in Vermont... There in lies the rub...

I work hard to be positive, and love the contact I do have with my fiance. At the same time, each contact there is the question 'Any news on our application?' And I have to work to keep sounding hopeful while explaining... Sorry dear, our file is in California and while we could be approved any day it could also be months... Even a phone call over a week ago to fix a minor issue with my address on our NOA1 has so far failed to even generate a touch... I fight the feeling our case has entered a black hole from which it may never return...

Hold no bitterness to Vermont's lucky customers... Save it for CSC!!! (God I hope they shock me soon and make me eat those words!)

[Kelli 0]

Hang in there girl! No harm in being jealous, hell, even I am jealous and I am going through VSC..just got the NOA today. You shall be with your man soon, and you are sooooooo lucky that you have been able to spend a bit of time with him. Good luck with everything!!!

[spiritee 0]

Don't be jealous, not everyone at VSC gets a speedy approval to presume this is ridiculous. My petition was received by VSC in June and I still have not been approved. I am not jealous I have realised that there is nothing I can do to speed up the process but be patient.

I know there are people that have been waiting a LOT longer than I, but I just got to the point where there are VSC people that sent in their petitions at the same time I did that are getting approved and it's making my stomach turn.

I am SO happy for people getting approved, but I am SO jealous. I feel guilty for being so jealous. I should be excited and giddy for people heading towards their next step, but I can't help but feel resentment.

I just got back last night from Canada, and seeing my Craigory for 4 days didn't help the situation. I'm grateful for being able to see him so often, but at the same time, it makes it harder. Because just as I start to get used to daily life without him, I go visit and I get reminded of how amazingly glorious daily life is WITH him.

Guh. CSC. C'mon now. Give us all a break.

Cass (bebop the great)

[ANDRES_MARINEL 0]

Don't be jealous, not everyone at VSC gets a speedy approval to presume this is ridiculous. My petition was received by VSC in June and I still have not been approved. I am not jealous I have realised that there is nothing I can do to speed up the process but be patient.

I know there are people that have been waiting a LOT longer than I, but I just got to the point where there are VSC people that sent in their petitions at the same time I did that are getting approved and it's making my stomach turn.

I am SO happy for people getting approved, but I am SO jealous. I feel guilty for being so jealous. I should be excited and giddy for people heading towards their next step, but I can't help but feel resentment.

I just got back last night from Canada, and seeing my Craigory for 4 days didn't help the situation. I'm grateful for being able to see him so often, but at the same time, it makes it harder. Because just as I start to get used to daily life without him, I go visit and I get reminded of how amazingly glorious daily life is WITH him.

Guh. CSC. C'mon now. Give us all a break.

Cass (bebop the great)

I FEEL YOU, I'M AT VSC AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY NO2 OR WHATEVER BUT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. MY CASE IS PENDING SINCE JUNE 22 AND I'M WAITING SO BEING AT VERMONT DOESNT MAKE YOU LUCKY IN MY CASE I HAVENT SOME PEOPLE WHO JUST SENT HIS PETITION HAVE BEEN APPROVED IN A MATTER OF DAYS AND IN MY OPINION THATZ NOT FAIR BECAUSE MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WAITING MONTHS.

[Lizzy 0]

Believe me i know what its like hon, even through im now in the US, the pain and frustration of waiting 9 months for my visa is not gone.

While people i filed with where getting there INTERVIEWS, i was still waiting for my NOA2, i was in AR.

This was even before the IMBRA law came into effect.

[missy_antha 0]

I am at CSC and it sucks. However at least all of us CSCs are in the same boat. I can't imagine what it's like for the VSCs who filed in March/ April/ May and have heard nothing. I think that must be far worse.

I'm really happy for the couples whose cases have taken 30 -60 days and I don't believe that anyone would wish to take that away from them at all. I think it's just that we all are thinking.

"I wish that was happening to us too!"

I haven't seen Jonathan since January however what keeps me going is that on New Years eve last year we were together in London watching the fireworks, knowing that we were about to embark on this process and we said this time next year we will be together and I've still got my fingers crossed that CSCs will get me approved in time to be in the USA to see in 2007.

Also I think about all those unhappy other New Years Eves I've spent with all my friends but still felt sad that I didn't have that special person with me to see the new year in with.

Well I now have him and even with all this waiting I will never feel sad on New Years Eve ever again for the rest of my life.

How wonderful is that!

[G&C 0]

I know there are people that have been waiting a LOT longer than I, but I just got to the point where there are VSC people that sent in their petitions at the same time I did that are getting approved and it's making my stomach turn.

I am SO happy for people getting approved, but I am SO jealous. I feel guilty for being so jealous. I should be excited and giddy for people heading towards their next step, but I can't help but feel resentment.

I just got back last night from Canada, and seeing my Craigory for 4 days didn't help the situation. I'm grateful for being able to see him so often, but at the same time, it makes it harder. Because just as I start to get used to daily life without him, I go visit and I get reminded of how amazingly glorious daily life is WITH him.

Guh. CSC. C'mon now. Give us all a break.

Cass (bebop the great)

Hang in there, it's 106 days for me/us now.

I would like to know why US Immigration turned him back as a visitor. This seems almost improbable!?! Anyone who grew up in Canada and has lived his entire life there, is by default, connected to Canada. I would have liked to have listened to that conversation!

.

[Alex+R 0]

I would like to know why US Immigration turned him back as a visitor. This seems almost improbable!?! Anyone who grew up in Canada and has lived his entire life there, is by default, connected to Canada. I would have liked to have listened to that conversation!

It happens a lot.

Often Canadians and their American fiances don't have it any easier than anyone else.

[rebeccajo 14]

I have a reversal of this for you. Imagine being one of the VSC'ers and trying to still be a member of this community. That was the situation for us. I remember trying SO HARD to never complain, to always be upbeat. I was almost embarrassed to post and occasionally I would get some nasty snarky comment about being a Vermont petitioner - it was almost as if we weren't welcome.

It was nearly as painful for me to watch my 'classmates' take so long to process as it was for them. I would feel so bad for them. I too felt it was unfair. I was ever so grateful for my own good fortune, but I really and truly felt terrible for those with other service centers. Back then, I should note that Nebraska was the 'offender' - now that's changed.

Just keep in mind that immigration is never done - not unless you naturalize and even then, that's many years down the road. Each step can bring challenges. We now await my husband's greencard. Our interview was March 9 and we still don't have it - his FBI clearance is not complete.

So just because people have the 'luck' of Vermont doesn't mean they won't have a hiccup later on. It's just this process - I hate to say it but you sort of get used to it after a while. If nothing else it helps teach patience with lifes other little troubles.

Edited September 6, 2006 by rebeccajo