My fiancee is moody

[Joyce and Chris 1]

Gawd! Your asking if it's normal? A big Nooo!!! I have a friend same stories of yours, when they get married become worse! If he respect and loves you he will not treat you that way...

There's alot of guy's out there waiting for you..

I dont know how to say, but i need advice, what is my fiancee very moody and sometimes he is shouting at me even when im talking in a nice way, my fiancee when he is pissed, he is throwing something, he didnt hurt me physicall but sometimes i feel scared. i dont know if im going to marry this kind of guy or be patient. our wedding is set already but i didnt feel he is happy with it. my new friends trying to help me for my wedding and but my fiancee didnt care, he always complaining if im asking i need to help a friend for our wedding because its our wedding anyways, my news friend here just helping us. one time, my friend call me if i like to saw my wedding invitation and asking my fiancee to drive me to that place he is shouting at me and he is going to broke the remote control and when he didnt broke it he throw it in the table. everytime he is mad he is arguing me with a loud voice and i feel crying everytime he is shouting at me, its normal to american guys to shout a fiancee, and didnt care about bridal shower? need advice pls..

[paulxodonna 1]

Love is patient; love is kind

and envies no one.

Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;

never selfish, not quick to take offense...-Bible quote

Is LOVE really there?

[Daniel&Theary 30]

That is not healthy behavior for anyone. Not all American men are that way, Most men respect woman. You should really think long and hard about what you are about to get into. My fiance and I have a hard time understanding each other sometimes (language) but neither of us gets mad at the other we just try to find another way say what we are thinking. I could not imagine treating the woman I love that way especially after she moved half way around the world to be with me. If you are scared or afraid it will not get better after you marry. Sounds like to me he only wants you to give attention to him and have no friends. I wish you the best. Daniel

[wesly 3]

I dont know how to say, but i need advice, what is my fiancee very moody and sometimes he is shouting at me even when im talking in a nice way, my fiancee when he is pissed, he is throwing something, he didnt hurt me physicall but sometimes i feel scared. i dont know if im going to marry this kind of guy or be patient. our wedding is set already but i didnt feel he is happy with it. my new friends trying to help me for my wedding and but my fiancee didnt care, he always complaining if im asking i need to help a friend for our wedding because its our wedding anyways, my news friend here just helping us. one time, my friend call me if i like to saw my wedding invitation and asking my fiancee to drive me to that place he is shouting at me and he is going to broke the remote control and when he didnt broke it he throw it in the table. everytime he is mad he is arguing me with a loud voice and i feel crying everytime he is shouting at me, its normal to american guys to shout a fiancee, and didnt care about bridal shower? need advice pls..

If he's already like that, what happen after you got married? you better ask yourself, if that is what you want for your life, someone who is yelling at you all the time etc........, ?

[Casprd 167]

Everyone is giving good advice here and I hope you listen to this for your own safety.

I do have one immigration related question to this. If a person in this situation decides not to get married and returns to their home country, does it cause any issues for later K1 or CR1 petitions? And is there some way that USCIS can be notified of why they person is returning to their home without getting married so that there is information already on file in case they do file again with another petitioner later?

[ThomKimQC 14]

Everyone is giving good advice here and I hope you listen to this for your own safety.

I do have one immigration related question to this. If a person in this situation decides not to get married and returns to their home country, does it cause any issues for later K1 or CR1 petitions? And is there some way that USCIS can be notified of why they person is returning to their home without getting married so that there is information already on file in case they do file again with another petitioner later?

[Matt :) 1]

I agree with everyone, I am an American man and this is NOT normal, if anything we treat women better than guys in other countries. I believe after marriage he will get physical with you... Usually abusive relationships start out as breaking furniture or throwing objects, later it progresses to physical abuse against the other. I would take this time to think about what kind of person you think you deserve. Many insecure girls like these type of relationships, but the fact you are questioning these things is a good sign that you know what a health relationship should be and that you deserve to be treated better. There are many guys out there, do NOT settle, especially if it has potential to hurt you emotionally & physically!!

Good luck!

P.S. the subject should be "My fiancee is a psycho" not "moody"

Edited March 23, 2011 by Matt :)

[NickD 202]

Everyone is giving good advice here and I hope you listen to this for your own safety.

I do have one immigration related question to this. If a person in this situation decides not to get married and returns to their home country, does it cause any issues for later K1 or CR1 petitions? And is there some way that USCIS can be notified of why they person is returning to their home without getting married so that there is information already on file in case they do file again with another petitioner later?

Of course you can, but feel the K1 visa is a bit crazy by only giving you 90 days, should be more like a year. Even the airlines make it easy by charging you less for a round trip ticket than a one way ticket.

Will never convince me that one can be in love with a person that doesn't return that love. Even have a word for that, call it infatuation.

Isn't anyone here going to suggest she marry him?

[kutakendra 3]

Please be careful. Do not stay with an abuser. You may feel trapped, and it may mean returning to your country, but that can be better than being battered and injured. Violence often escalates. Please add some of us as friends, so we can help you, if you need us. NO woman deserves to be hurt, and emotional abuse is abuse.

[Mizzou_82 0]

Im going to heart to heart talk with him, and if he asking for forgiveness i will forgive him and giv him second chance, maybe he have the reason and i dont know. thank you guys for advices, but we need to talk first what i am to him. thanks alot, im glad im a member this site because atleast i have an idea and all of you are willing to help. again, thank you all. i need to talk with him what's going on to our relationship.

[Nicole-N-Nattoy 24]

If I were you I would put my foot down. Tell him you will not marry him if he continues to treat you this way. Maybe it makes him feel more like a man to make you feel bad about yourself and treat you like poop. Tell him this is not respectable behavior and although you would love to live happily in America it is not worth your self respect and esteem. No human being deserves to be treated this way. He needs to learn how to handle things and talk to you honestly as you are his future wife. This should be a very happy time and even if he is having second thoughts he needs to express that and stop acting like a spoiled little child and taking his frustration out on you. It is not right to pick on someone in a delicate state as you are in. You have no support here and everything is brand new. He should be your number one fan. He sould be there to help, love, and support you. Sorry you are going through this. Stay strong.

[ThomKimQC 14]

i think thats also a feared of every woman who goes w/K1 visa...it was trial and error because its totally diff when your living with your fiance..that's the risk here after 90 days if things didnt worked out then woman should leave the country.its like putting an ugly marked on your name under the US embassy...

messing up on US embassy once then it would be hard to applied for K1 in the future...

but i think talking about future , its better to leave him now while you still have chance than risking your whole life miserable with this man because things might going to get worst..

[Mizzou_82 0]

thanks guys, i really appreciate all advices. I know God never leaves me no matter what. all i have to do is to talk him heart to heart. hope he can listen to me, if he's asking for forgiveness i forgive him and hope he can make a promise to me not to do it again, thank you all vj members:) i feel better now, i know what to do if he still doing it again.

[Barbara J 115]

Im going to heart to heart talk with him, and if he asking for forgiveness i will forgive him and giv him second chance, maybe he have the reason and i dont know. thank you guys for advices, but we need to talk first what i am to him. thanks alot, im glad im a member this site because atleast i have an idea and all of you are willing to help. again, thank you all. i need to talk with him what's going on to our relationship.

Well you should have talked to him before you posted here to be honest. If you have a large age gap this is most probably a lot to do with your problem. I can't say what I really want to say here as it will be sen as prejudice but get out now while you can and hopefully one day you will find your soul mate. This man is not your soul mate and if you keep giving him chances then you will get everything you ask for and that is pain and sadness.

And NO Nick not going to suggest she marry this #### would be a foolish thing to do. I think I have been on this planet long enough and been through enough relationships to advise you to go and make better choices.

[Nero 17]

Everyone is giving good advice here and I hope you listen to this for your own safety.

I do have one immigration related question to this. If a person in this situation decides not to get married and returns to their home country, does it cause any issues for later K1 or CR1 petitions? And is there some way that USCIS can be notified of why they person is returning to their home without getting married so that there is information already on file in case they do file again with another petitioner later?

It might make the process take longer the second time, but for the right person it's always worth it. I would think a divorce and remarriage to another USC would cause an equal if not greater delay. I would always suggest to get out of a violent situation before it's too late. Thinking you can "tough it out" or "waiting to see if it gets better" can put a person in the hospital or the morgue.