Anyone here from a big city??

[J&N* 68]

I came to the States about 5 months ago, moved from a big city in Egypt (Alexandria) to a small city in Florida (Melbourne) and it is driving me INSANE! I don't have an EAD yet so I've no car, no job, I can't go ANYWHERE by myself, it's very boring, very quiet, I see no people walking EVER. I KNOW there are LOTS of Americans who love that but for me, it's very boring and I feel very lonely. I've nothing to do during day time. I hate living here. I'm used to walking to anywhere, stopping cabs right out of my apartment building and having tons of friends.

Anyone here from a big city who moved to a small one and have they same feelings? Any advice??

[Matt :) 1]

Things will get better, especially once you get a car you will have things to do, get a job, meet new people... things will take time but in a year your life should be much better.

[Krikit 1,163]

It's definitely a different way of life and takes some getting used to. I find it beneficial to focus on the things I like about a place as opposed to what I don't like. It makes it easier to adjust. Melbourne's really nice. It's not "big city" but it has some really lovely things about it. Maybe try turning it around. Think about the things you didn't like about Alexandria and compare that to Melbourne. Settling in to a new environment can be really trying. It was certainly very difficult for me in my first year. You may want to do an advanced search on the topic. There are quite a few threads and lots of good advice. Good luck.

[DiZZyLoX 114]

Well, sugar.

Let's see...

You're from a big city. you stopped cabs outside your apartment. you loved your big huge group of friends. you fell in love (you did fall in love, right?) and moved home and country for the man you love for the purpose of love (...that is why you moved, right?) and are now finding it very difficult to adjust. Wait, no...you hate it here.

I live in Florida. I was born and raised here. I live in the biggest city land-wise in the United States. While it is no Alexandria, there are plenty of things here to do on the coast, downtown, at our friend's houses and little less than an hour there are beautiful natural springs, rivers, lakes and an ocean to go playing in...not to mention the bars, clubs and shopping.

You, however, have moved to Melbourne. You're right. There's nothing there. Had you moved a little closer to Orlando, you may have been able to adjust.

The only thing I can offer you is to remember why you moved...was it for the friends? the adventure? or...was it because you are madly in love with your man?

If you feel this is something that will inhibit your marriage, i suggest you speak to your husband about it and look at relocating somewhere that will be easier for you to adjust. I do know that those 3 months you're waiting to a) get a job, b) get a car, c) get...well, a LIFE are very difficult and I think everyone to an extent experiences that.

This is a good time for you to be looking for volunteer opportunities, anything outside of the house that would allow you to make your own friends and socialize with the people around you. We don't do a lot of "cabbing" around here unless you're in big downtown cities like Chicago, New York, L.A....'round these parts we drive, sugar.

Hang in there...or don't. Talk to your man. I'm sure he is way more interested in how you're adjusting than the folks here on the board. Oh, and see if you can't open your mind a little more and realize that you ain't in Kansas anymore.

Welcome to the States!

xo.

[katie & sifa 25]

From google it appears that there is a bus system in Melbourne - maybe learn to use that, even if it's just a small system at least it would get you out of the house. Maybe try volunteering? Or taking a class at a community college? Then at least you'd be able to meet people before you can work.

My husband moved from a big city (Nairobi) to another big city (Dallas) and still had trouble adjusting since it's just not the same - people still don't really walk places, you can't catch a ride right outside your door and it's difficult to make friends. It got better once he got his EAD and found a job, for sure, but he also learned the bus/train system here, learned how to walk to the nearest hospital and volunteered there for several months before he started working. No question, it sucks for a few months...but try to focus on the positive (you're here with your spouse, finally!) and hopefully you'll get your EAD soon and can start looking for work!

[LlamaInvasion 76]

I really, absolutely, definitely feel you. I moved from Oslo (while not enormous by any means, it's got a good 750,000 people in a very small space - it's like cutting out a couple of blocks of New York and moving them to Norway) to a small town in Pennsylvania, population approximately 5000. I can't drive (Oslo's got one of the best public transportation systems in the world) and none of the few things here are within walking distance, so I'm 100% dependent on my husband driving me places. It's lonely, quiet and it sucks.

I wish I had any words of advice, but I'm just counting down the days until we can GTFO and move to a place that doesn't suck, honestly. XD We're both wrapping up some school, so hopefully by summer 2012 we'll be long gone. Until then, I'm gritting my teeth and hoping that time will pass quickly. XD

[monalisa2010 1]

im from alexandria but still in egypt because miss /embassy still closed ,u lucky cause if u are in our situation u will get depressed .guess that we spent more than 7 months to get approved than nvc and when our case is compelet since jan. usa embassy closed ,we gpt depressed and unhappy ,if u still fell lonely send me in private your yahoo messnager so we can talke ...enjoy your life

[faithinGod 8]

I came to the States about 5 months ago, moved from a big city in Egypt (Alexandria) to a small city in Florida (Melbourne) and it is driving me INSANE! I don't have an EAD yet so I've no car, no job, I can't go ANYWHERE by myself, it's very boring, very quiet, I see no people walking EVER. I KNOW there are LOTS of Americans who love that but for me, it's very boring and I feel very lonely. I've nothing to do during day time. I hate living here. I'm used to walking to anywhere, stopping cabs right out of my apartment building and having tons of friends.

Anyone here from a big city who moved to a small one and have they same feelings? Any advice??

hey , i understand how you feel, i`m all alone in the house all day long too and i`m bored out of my mind, but i was thinking aboutbuying a bike and go around here to get to know this lil town (i don`t like to walk by myself too mumuch lol).Also pretty soon i`ll start studying to take sum tests to get my college diploma recognized here.I did think about volunteering too.

I do understand how you feel, after a while you can`t stand watching movies anymore )

[Saddle Bronc 124]

I've done it prior when I was on a student visa--from Calgary (large) to Mt. Pleasant, MI ("university town").

[wendy&tamer 10]

Hopefully things will start to workout more for you when you get a job and a car. It helps to be able to get out of the house. I pray things get better for you. Tamer has adjusted great here. Being stuck inside can be hard, it was difficult for Tamer but when he got his job he started feeling he was helping the household. Good luck

[tenderheartusa79 14]

Hey Nermen

How are ya ? How is your husband ? I hope that everything is working goof for you guys .

Well we are in the same boat .You know that i'm from Alex .And i live here in very small town '' Granite falls/NC ''.I used to walk to anywhere anytime .Its so boring here .

I got my EAD back in Oct of 2010 and i start to work in Nov .So before that i had nothing to do . Before i bough a car I was walking 6 miles to the nearest gas station here to buy a pack of cig and it was taking me 2 hours ! and in Alex it was just a few minutes to go and buy anything .

So my thoughts to you try to find something to do .I started a small garden '' some veg, fruit and some flowers '' . i was going to buy a horse and a dog .but sadly my wife has allergy to everything !

People here sleep so early .So at 9 pm .so i will be so lucky if i find anyone still a wake but me at 9 PM LOL .

I quite smoking for two years ''from 2008 till 2010'' and i stared to smoke again cause I'm that bored .There is nothing to do here .Its one of tow eat out and go to the movie theater or eat out and go to the mall .And its very small mall comparing to any mall we have in Alex '' city center for example ''.

you can start a small garden .If you like video games go and pay play station 3 LOL..

If you don't have an animal go and buy one .

Try to make your self busy or it will make you very very very home sick .

Good luck and my best wishes for you .

Edited March 17, 2011 by Hot Guy

[the governor 0]

I know what you are talking about. In a small city in the US, just having a car will make all the difference.

[Darnell 8,478]

I'm from a big city, lived in small cities, live in a big city now.

My best advice:

1. get buddies with the local farmers and ranchers - tell the farmers you want to grow something , ask them for advice - tell the ranchers you want some manure for your garden. These guys know EVERYBODY the past 50 years - these types of connections are very useful - don't forget to invite them OVER to your place to EAT a big meal that YOU'RE COOKING.

2. Join the Chamber of Commerce, become a volunteer there, and meet everyone. Sooner or later, you'll get adopted, and people will gang together to give you rides - but you must first meet people, be friendly, bring some 'your country desserts' with you to all gatherings.

3. Hang out at the local farmer's co-op, offer your services as a 'barn cleaner' - trade/barter your work for

rides.

4. If you are Muslim, inquire about leasing a small stretch of someone else's ranch, to raise boer goats ORGANICALLY - you can find HALAL wholesalers/slaughterhouses in the big cities to buy from you, when yer ready for slaughter. Organically grown boer goats TASTE so much better, and the HALAL shops are learning this, and are screaming for them from the wholesalers/slaughterhouses.

Sounds like too much work? aiyo - go buy used 49.5 CC scooter, no license required to drive it around.

Good Luck !

Edited March 31, 2011 by Darnell