Serious Stress...

[TheSantamarias 0]

Honestly, I think the whole, *GASP* "I would NEVER ask ANYONE to do such a thing!!!" band wagon is pretty easy to jump on, but quite honestly I still stick to my guns on this one. It can't be THAT absurd of a thought, I mean every single person that I know has asked me if he can help expedite. So, I was honest in my initial post, and I've reiterated a few times. My stance on this is solid. You'd do it.

[TeddyHoney 42]

Just on the question of how to cope and survive the wait. For me, like everyone else my fiancee and I web chat every day and talk on the phone often and do short e-mail updates every day. We send current photos backa nd forth. There are discussions about the process and my family members and hers, etc. here I work everyday and that helps because I can get busy at work and that takes my mind of the longing and waiting (even though there are many pictures of her on and around my desk:), also I am a divorcee and my only child lives all the way across the country with her mom (my Filipina ex - who can be extremely difficult at times) so sometimes that's a distraction but also my daughter comes to visit just about every month and I am responsible for her flight itenerary so that is another distraction that comes up. I'm also a single homeowner now and I live in Ohio and its later winter so maybe you can imagine what distractions that can bring. Also being a kidney transplant recipient can keep me occupied as far as being careful what I eat and what exercises I can do etc. Not that that's a problem at all cuz it beats the hell out of dialysis (that would make the wait worse). But all in all our communication and then the journey of life keeps us occupied and distracted during times we are not in cam. And also I think we just don't think about it so much or don't allow it to get to us buy trying to be as patient as possible. Plus have been thru this before.

Just habg in there and try to keep busy. Exercise helps me a lot and not just for the waiting.

TeddyHoney and SqueezyBear

(Derrick and Ritchie)

[TheSantamarias 0]

Just on the question of how to cope and survive the wait. For me, like everyone else my fiancee and I web chat every day and talk on the phone often and do short e-mail updates every day. We send current photos backa nd forth. There are discussions about the process and my family members and hers, etc. here I work everyday and that helps because I can get busy at work and that takes my mind of the longing and waiting (even though there are many pictures of her on and around my desk:), also I am a divorcee and my only child lives all the way across the country with her mom (my Filipina ex - who can be extremely difficult at times) so sometimes that's a distraction but also my daughter comes to visit just about every month and I am responsible for her flight itenerary so that is another distraction that comes up. I'm also a single homeowner now and I live in Ohio and its later winter so maybe you can imagine what distractions that can bring. Also being a kidney transplant recipient can keep me occupied as far as being careful what I eat and what exercises I can do etc. Not that that's a problem at all cuz it beats the hell out of dialysis (that would make the wait worse). But all in all our communication and then the journey of life keeps us occupied and distracted during times we are not in cam. And also I think we just don't think about it so much or don't allow it to get to us buy trying to be as patient as possible. Plus have been thru this before.

Just habg in there and try to keep busy. Exercise helps me a lot and not just for the waiting.

TeddyHoney and SqueezyBear

(Derrick and Ritchie)

Where did you have your transplant done?

The thing with being on the phone is, HONESTLY, I get sick of talking. I'm going to try and be more active on Skype because then we can set it up and go about our own business and still "be together".

[Matt :) 1]

Ummmm, you have only been waiting like 4 months, suck it up!

[Moomin 292]

How do you watch movies together online? I would love to know how to do this...

Hehehe! I like this one.

On yahoo messenger you can sometimes send the link to the other person and it will let you share the same video(play-pause etc). Otherwise it's about timing and syncronizing, just like watches(hence the "1 2 3..play!", atleast that's what came to mind when I read it).

[TheSantamarias 0]

[quote name=Matt ' timestamp='1299179327' post='4516829]

Ummmm, you have only been waiting like 4 months, suck it up!

Be nice, sir.

[B_J 2,752]

[quote name=Matt ' timestamp='1299179327' post='4516829]

Ummmm, you have only been waiting like 4 months, suck it up!

Chivalry is dead.

[amesa 9]

Hehehe! I like this one.

On yahoo messenger you can sometimes send the link to the other person and it will let you share the same video(play-pause etc). Otherwise it's about timing and syncronizing, just like watches(hence the "1 2 3..play!", atleast that's what came to mind when I read it).

cool! thanks.

[amesa 9]

Be nice, sir.

He/she may be blunt...be they are right. Sorry. Truth hurts. We all have to 'suck it up' and just deal with it instead of complaining all the time. We made the choice...

[TeddyHoney 42]

Where did you have your transplant done?

The thing with being on the phone is, HONESTLY, I get sick of talking. I'm going to try and be more active on Skype because then we can set it up and go about our own business and still "be together".

My transplant was at University Hospital in Cleveland. Ohio. there were complications but it must be a strong kidney because it survived and is doing good. Yes, the phone calls sometimes you run out of things to talk about especially when you are used to web camming everyday. I call her a couple of times a week but we usually only talk for maybe 5 minutes or so. We web cam for about an hour or so, but that is everyday. Our e-mails are short also. For us, the once a day web camming works great and then by the time the next sessions comes in about 24 hours I am really eager to see and talk to her again.

How about you guys visiting on occaison? Is it not rather easy for the distance ou guys are apart and proximity to the two countries? Its very expensive for me to visit my fiancee mostly cuz the distance (airfare) and then its so far away (13,000 miles) and she can't visit me at all even if we had the money for it. How often you guys visit?

TeddyHoney and SqueezyBear

(Derrick and Ritchie)

[brownskinned 5]

I am a generally patient person I think but this is driving me mental... How do you guys deal with your stress? The wait is taking its toll on our relationship. It's hard to spend all this time on the phone and online and keep up a normal schedule.

This month the time changes here in Wisconsin and I will be an hour AHEAD of Carlos in El Salvador and that makes it even harder!! I work 6a-2:30p and 10 hours of mandatory overtime per week.

The worst part about this whole thing is his dad is the Deputy Chief of the USCIS Forms Center West and he can't even help us expedite anything.

Give me your ideas on how to get thru this trying time...

I'm sorry but I have to reply! You're so lucky you only have 1 hr difference!! LOL and hey. if you get special treatment and be on top... then mine would get delayed! No way!! So, kudos to his dad! haha!!

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

Adil and I are 5 hours apart so we talk for an hour or hour and a half to keep each other informed every day but this is about 11 PM to 1 am for him. th etalk about immigration all the time will stress you out. So, sometimes talk of your love and your future. things you dream to do. Talk of what it will be like when you are finally together. If one of you gets upset with things, let the other be calm. Adil always tells me to be patient. He is very calm and reassuring. Just remember how imortant this is to you. And how much you have invested. Emotions, time, money, your future. And the best of luck to you.

I am a generally patient person I think but this is driving me mental... How do you guys deal with your stress? The wait is taking its toll on our relationship. It's hard to spend all this time on the phone and online and keep up a normal schedule.

This month the time changes here in Wisconsin and I will be an hour AHEAD of Carlos in El Salvador and that makes it even harder!! I work 6a-2:30p and 10 hours of mandatory overtime per week.

The worst part about this whole thing is his dad is the Deputy Chief of the USCIS Forms Center West and he can't even help us expedite anything.

Give me your ideas on how to get thru this trying time...

[Norm and Grace 0]

I am a generally patient person I think but this is driving me mental... How do you guys deal with your stress? The wait is taking its toll on our relationship. It's hard to spend all this time on the phone and online and keep up a normal schedule.

This month the time changes here in Wisconsin and I will be an hour AHEAD of Carlos in El Salvador and that makes it even harder!! I work 6a-2:30p and 10 hours of mandatory overtime per week.

The worst part about this whole thing is his dad is the Deputy Chief of the USCIS Forms Center West and he can't even help us expedite anything.

Give me your ideas on how to get thru this trying time...

I know what you are talking about. I know the waiting thing is hard on the heart. Be patient because it will be worth every minute of the wait. You know what they say, distance strengthens the heart. I hope the duration of your wait will be short and things happen soon. Hang in there. My wife and I always text each other everyday.

[TheSantamarias 0]

My transplant was at University Hospital in Cleveland. Ohio. there were complications but it must be a strong kidney because it survived and is doing good. Yes, the phone calls sometimes you run out of things to talk about especially when you are used to web camming everyday. I call her a couple of times a week but we usually only talk for maybe 5 minutes or so. We web cam for about an hour or so, but that is everyday. Our e-mails are short also. For us, the once a day web camming works great and then by the time the next sessions comes in about 24 hours I am really eager to see and talk to her again.

How about you guys visiting on occaison? Is it not rather easy for the distance ou guys are apart and proximity to the two countries? Its very expensive for me to visit my fiancee mostly cuz the distance (airfare) and then its so far away (13,000 miles) and she can't visit me at all even if we had the money for it. How often you guys visit?

TeddyHoney and SqueezyBear

(Derrick and Ritchie)

I haven't seen him since August. He can't come here at all w/o a visa. It's expensive for me to go there as well. The flights aren't bad, 400-700 bucks but because of the current conditions where he lives, I cannot go to his house. So ontop of airfare I have to stay in a hotel. We just don't have the fundage to do that. I'm going to try some of the things that people have mentioned. We've already started looking for books to read together and movies we can watch... I'm excited for that

[natasha/willem 1]

Here is a list of things to do, The Santamarias:

- Before I ever got the NOA2 I tried to stay on top of my game, like RESEARCH : What kind of documents you might need for the embassy interview, cuz for me after NOA2 everything started moving quickly, so you would wanna know what kind of documents should your fiance send you,

- look into how long it takes to get a police certificate, birth certificate etc ( documents you might need for an actual in interview in your embassy)

- the thing about talking online its not about staying together all the time, but it helps just hanging out online before bed ( So many times I have fallen asleep in front of my laptop) facebook games, skype games ( bowling:D ) anything that you would do normaly just do it while you are both online:D its more fun anyways.

- write him a little good morning message, keep it as a practice it make his and your day better. and after that you dont have to be online and on the phone talking so much. when I was looking through the hundreds of pages of messages sent withhin year and a half between us, it was amazing of what kind of written words we have used, phrases that we would never say in our normal lives.

- if you have a wedding to look forward to, grab the opportunity. You will be able to celebrate the happiest day of your life, with your family and friends sooner than 90 percent of the people that went through the immmigration process like you guys did

- talk to your parents more, I started cooking this summer before I came to the US. My mom realized that I am gonna be married and all and she wanted me to know how to make a few dishes that she always made for me. I wish I have learned more.

- If you plan to move together with your fiance, you should look up houses in that area, just have fun.

- Do you wanna drive in the US ? See whats up. How to get your lisence, ask him to send you a driving guide from his state, so when you come over and have your ssn you can go to the dmv and get your learners permit.

there is so much more stuff that when we are alone and apart and suffering we dont really think about, ways to be productive and happy. Its not gonna be like your better half is there, but at least it gives you the oportunity to decide what do you wanna do with your life. And not to forget:

This next couple of months, are your last months being single!!! Go out have fun! You deserve it after so much waiting and stress!!!

Hope this helps at least a bit. \