Serious Stress...

[TheSantamarias 0]

I am a generally patient person I think but this is driving me mental... How do you guys deal with your stress? The wait is taking its toll on our relationship. It's hard to spend all this time on the phone and online and keep up a normal schedule.

This month the time changes here in Wisconsin and I will be an hour AHEAD of Carlos in El Salvador and that makes it even harder!! I work 6a-2:30p and 10 hours of mandatory overtime per week.

The worst part about this whole thing is his dad is the Deputy Chief of the USCIS Forms Center West and he can't even help us expedite anything.

Give me your ideas on how to get thru this trying time...

[Barbara J 115]

I am a generally patient person I think but this is driving me mental... How do you guys deal with your stress? The wait is taking its toll on our relationship. It's hard to spend all this time on the phone and online and keep up a normal schedule.

This month the time changes here in Wisconsin and I will be an hour AHEAD of Carlos in El Salvador and that makes it even harder!! I work 6a-2:30p and 10 hours of mandatory overtime per week.

The worst part about this whole thing is his dad is the Deputy Chief of the USCIS Forms Center West and he can't even help us expedite anything.

Give me your ideas on how to get thru this trying time...

OMG I have heard it all now. I was in Australia and I had a damm 16 hour difference in time with my now husband.And with daylight saving we had 14 hours. Gee you have 1 hour aaww I am sorry but this infuriates me and you are upset because you can't get his Dad to expedite because he works for USCIS.

Somer people on here wait months and some years and they keep their relationship going because they love one another and want to be together. the time apart is a small drop in the bucket on the large scales of things when you will be together for the rest of your lives. Yu need to keep positive is all I know it is hard but it is worth it.

[TBoneTX 43,058]

There are a lot of threads with good advice on how to handle the stress, si man. Violent physical exercise is a good release. Even dropping down for 25 push-ups can do wonders, si man.

[TheSantamarias 0]

OMG I have heard it all now. I was in Australia and I had a damm 16 hour difference in time with my now husband.And with daylight saving we had 14 hours. Gee you have 1 hour aaww I am sorry but this infuriates me and you are upset because you can't get his Dad to expedite because he works for USCIS.

Somer people on here wait months and some years and they keep their relationship going because they love one another and want to be together. the time apart is a small drop in the bucket on the large scales of things when you will be together for the rest of your lives. Yu need to keep positive is all I know it is hard but it is worth it.

I'm not discounting what you went through, you musn't be so judgemental, dear.

Also, I think if you were in the situation where a parent/relative of your significant other worked in a higher position in USCIS you would MOST DEFINITELY see if they can help you. I'm sure that even tho you probably have outstanding morals/principles, NO ONE would say, "You know, I'm sure there are probably tons of other people waiting so just send mine to the bottom of the pile." We all want our cases processed right away. I get it that its a small drop in the bucket but I asked for ideas on dealing with the stress of it all, not for you to be rude and snotty to me.

[Shawn & Emi 16]

I am a generally patient person I think but this is driving me mental... How do you guys deal with your stress? The wait is taking its toll on our relationship. It's hard to spend all this time on the phone and online and keep up a normal schedule.

This month the time changes here in Wisconsin and I will be an hour AHEAD of Carlos in El Salvador and that makes it even harder!! I work 6a-2:30p and 10 hours of mandatory overtime per week.

The worst part about this whole thing is his dad is the Deputy Chief of the USCIS Forms Center West and he can't even help us expedite anything.

Give me your ideas on how to get thru this trying time...

Sorry but you have all of 1 hour time difference to contend with? Try 7 or 8 hours!

Before we were together in the US, we spent almost 2 years being long distance. Our minimum time difference was 7 hours, maximum 8 hours. We still managed to keep in touch every single day: we would video chat on Skype (I would get up early, he would stay up late), we would talk on the phone, email and text each other. Yes, it was difficult being apart - it is for any couple - but love is what gets you through it. We knew the waiting would pay off, and it did.

I sympathise with you because I remember all too well how difficult it was to be apart (it's only 6 months since I moved to the US) but I don't think a 1 hour time difference is really that big of a deal! Most people on this forum would love to only have a one hour time difference!

As for your fiancé's dad working for USCIS and not being able to expedite anything for you... well, that's just tough. It's not fair of you to expect special treatment - everyone else in this situation has paid the same filing fees as you, and some people have been waiting a lot longer than you for their NOA2 (e.g. people waiting since August and September). You just have to hang in there, I'm afraid.

[TBoneTX 43,058]

I asked for ideas on dealing with the stress of it all, not for you to be rude and snotty to me.

Si, man.

OP, do some searching or browsing for the many very good threads about your topic. You'll feel better, si man.

[Shawn & Emi 16]

OMG I have heard it all now. I was in Australia and I had a damm 16 hour difference in time with my now husband.And with daylight saving we had 14 hours. Gee you have 1 hour aaww I am sorry but this infuriates me and you are upset because you can't get his Dad to expedite because he works for USCIS.

Somer people on here wait months and some years and they keep their relationship going because they love one another and want to be together. the time apart is a small drop in the bucket on the large scales of things when you will be together for the rest of your lives. Yu need to keep positive is all I know it is hard but it is worth it.

Yep, this annoyed me too! And you had a much bigger time difference than we ever did.

[natasha/willem 1]

Stay positive, look into what you need to do, stay busy. Thats what I did. Take care of all of your documents prior leaving to the states. If you wanna be with your love sooner, you will REALIZE that the time difference doesnt matter, Just see Barbara here ( 16 hours difference? ) and I was 8 hours difference with my now hubby. But things are gonna get better, You cant stop believing that. Yes it will take a long time. Even after you marry, its gonna be horrible for the waiting period ( I have been in the States for 5 months without working) and the frustration that it brings. I still know that one day its all gonna be ok. And an advice, is to spend more time with your family and friends there, because you are gonna miss them dearly for a while before you get your AP/GCard. I wish, I had taken the initiative to spend some time with friends and family from my country that I dont see often:D You think about it later and you see there are so many things that you could have done, while home, which now in the US you cant:D:D:D

DOnt worry, its gonna pass.

[SophWeb 25]

I am a generally patient person I think but this is driving me mental... How do you guys deal with your stress? The wait is taking its toll on our relationship. It's hard to spend all this time on the phone and online and keep up a normal schedule.

This month the time changes here in Wisconsin and I will be an hour AHEAD of Carlos in El Salvador and that makes it even harder!! I work 6a-2:30p and 10 hours of mandatory overtime per week.

The worst part about this whole thing is his dad is the Deputy Chief of the USCIS Forms Center West and he can't even help us expedite anything.

Give me your ideas on how to get thru this trying time...

You're only at the very beginning of your journey - you're gonna need a lot more patience. As said above, it could worse. My husband woke up at 5:30am every morning to talk to me because of our 14+ hour time difference. And we were both working 50+ hour jobs.

Try having a scheduled time to talk, like every night after dinner, at like 8pm. Do you have skype or anything like that? My husband and I would just keep our laptops open in front of us while while we worked or studied at home, and just use skype and videochat. Sometimes we would hardly talk, but still keep the video open, and it was nice to know we were still there. Almost like having them sitting next to you

[Alex & Stacee 4]

I am a generally patient person I think but this is driving me mental... How do you guys deal with your stress? The wait is taking its toll on our relationship. It's hard to spend all this time on the phone and online and keep up a normal schedule.

This month the time changes here in Wisconsin and I will be an hour AHEAD of Carlos in El Salvador and that makes it even harder!! I work 6a-2:30p and 10 hours of mandatory overtime per week.

The worst part about this whole thing is his dad is the Deputy Chief of the USCIS Forms Center West and he can't even help us expedite anything.

Give me your ideas on how to get thru this trying time...

There is no doubt that is process sucks. Each day without the one we love is excrutiating torture. We skype a lot, seeing each other face to face helps to ease the pain somewhat. We even bring our laptops to bed and fall asleep together. We play online games!

We also each have skype on our cellphones which allows us to call and text without incurring charges. I don't know what area of ES your fiancee lives and as you probably know internet coverage can be sketchy.

Hang in there, you are not alone in this process!!

[TheSantamarias 0]

It's not just about time difference, its about planning a wedding, dealing with family, etc. While I understand that you're not supposed to set a wedding date, my parents wouldn't hear of me not having a traditional wedding. It's alot of pressure from a family that wasn't too keen on the idea of me marrying someone from another country to begin with. That's JUNE 4th. I'm not entirely sure what to do...

And I am sticking to my guns on the "his dad works for USCIS". If anyone on this website told me that they wouldn't try to get their case expedited they are FLAT OUT LYING. It's ridiculous to think that I wouldn't atleast ask, come on! Besides, it should give you all some peace of mind that there isn't any of that going on. His dad married a woman from china and they had to go thru the same process as us...

There is no doubt that is process sucks. Each day without the one we love is excrutiating torture. We skype a lot, seeing each other face to face helps to ease the pain somewhat. We even bring our laptops to bed and fall asleep together. We play online games!

We also each have skype on our cellphones which allows us to call and text without incurring charges. I don't know what area of ES your fiancee lives and as you probably know internet coverage can be sketchy.

Hang in there, you are not alone in this process!!

He's in La Libertad. Where's Alex from?? I never see anyone on here from El Salvador. I've been trying to find out what the experience with the Embassy will be like...

[Shawn & Emi 16]

It's not just about time difference, its about planning a wedding, dealing with family, etc. While I understand that you're not supposed to set a wedding date, my parents wouldn't hear of me not having a traditional wedding. It's alot of pressure from a family that wasn't too keen on the idea of me marrying someone from another country to begin with. That's JUNE 4th. I'm not entirely sure what to do...

And I am sticking to my guns on the "his dad works for USCIS". If anyone on this website told me that they wouldn't try to get their case expedited they are FLAT OUT LYING. It's ridiculous to think that I wouldn't atleast ask, come on! Besides, it should give you all some peace of mind that there isn't any of that going on. His dad married a woman from china and they had to go thru the same process as us...

Since everyone here pretty much is/was doing the K-1 process, it's fair to say everyone had similar issues to deal with regarding planning weddings etc. From your timeline it looks as though it's been almost 4 months since your NOA1 - I'm not sure why you've set your wedding date in June, you're not giving yourselves much time to organize everything and even just getting to the visa interview stage could take until that time (I'm not sure what El Salvador is like for assigning interview dates, but my interview in London was more than 4 months after our NOA2 date). We waited until the NVC had sent our approved petition to London before we set a date, and even then that date was more than 4 months in the future just to be on the safe side. It sounds as though you've got extra stress because your wedding date is only 3 months away - maybe it would be a good idea to push it back if you can, it would take some of the pressure off of you.

I don't blame you for wanting your fiancé's dad to expedite your case, that's natural, but I was simply pointing out that so far you haven't waited as long as many other people on here and I don't think you should be expecting an expedite. That's all.

[Jay & Cici 3]

Just want to share our story too. Me and my hubby has 16 hours time difference. And yes, Skype-video chat really helps. We almost spend 24/7 through ways of technology. He would wake up 3am and i would stay up late so we can talk before him going to work and me going to bed..we keep it on while sleeping. we also have skype on our iphones. On weekends, we do stuffs together through Skype. Now he is in CA, we have 18 hours difference. Its really a test for all the couples being apart. And we wished for an hour difference like with you and your other half. They are right, you got a lot of things to do while waiting for the NOA2.. enough time to prepare for the wedding... good luck to us

[Ugly_American 11]

Just want to share our story too. Me and my hubby has 16 hours time difference. And yes, Skype-video chat really helps. We almost spend 24/7 through ways of technology. He would wake up 3am and i would stay up late so we can talk before him going to work and me going to bed..we keep it on while sleeping. we also have skype on our iphones. On weekends, we do stuffs together through Skype. Now he is in CA, we have 18 hours difference. Its really a test for all the couples being apart. And we wished for an hour difference like with you and your other half. They are right, you got a lot of things to do while waiting for the NOA2.. enough time to prepare for the wedding... good luck to us

Yup, that's us too. 16 hour diff and numerous times i've set alarm for 2-3-4am to wake and chat, even on weeknights while working full time. I hate long distance. We just do our best and yes skype is the only thing we use. Well, chikka also and email. It's tough. I can;t complain too loudly with my timeline. I'd say just keeping busy and trying to have hobbies here. I've played guitar to her and now i'm reading a book to her. We just try and hang out online.

Edited March 3, 2011 by Ugly_American

[amesa 9]

I'm not discounting what you went through, you musn't be so judgemental, dear.

Also, I think if you were in the situation where a parent/relative of your significant other worked in a higher position in USCIS you would MOST DEFINITELY see if they can help you. I'm sure that even tho you probably have outstanding morals/principles, NO ONE would say, "You know, I'm sure there are probably tons of other people waiting so just send mine to the bottom of the pile." We all want our cases processed right away. I get it that its a small drop in the bucket but I asked for ideas on dealing with the stress of it all, not for you to be rude and snotty to me.

I am sorry for being so blunt, by why should you get special treatment just because a relative works in a a USCIS center? YOu should wait your turn just like everyone else.