Just Beginning...Need my UK fiance' here yesterday.....

[pdmacca 3]

Kenny,

You're not in the relationships you are guessing or judging over. Do you follow people around here who met on vacation and say "Well, you only knew each other 7 days, so it's not real!!!!?"

When I met Rob I KNEW. It was a slap in the face...it was sitting down and thinking OMG I should have waited for him before I was married. It is the fairy tale. It IS finding the person you're meant to be with, and it's above your reproach or judgements.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The poster asked if they had to meet in person. Yes, yes, YES you do. Even knowing Rob was "the one" before I met him in person, I still would not have married without meeting...perhaps from caution. I know how intense your feelings are right now, I've been there, but keep in mind that if it's worth it, it's worth the wait. I waited 3 years and married 2 weeks ago. Best choice ever.

Jill,

Thank you for your comments. We have loved each other since the 3 day we met. Everyday I love him more and we are desperate to grow old together. Thanks again.

[pdmacca 3]

Dawn you have got to think this thru...

You are in love with someone you've never met.. How is that even possible? Thats the question everyone is going to ask you.. The USCIS, the Embassy, the POE...

This process is lengthy, involved and very specific rules, designed to prevent fraud... You wont be able to get around the basic requirements? But ask yourself how you would consider marrying a person you've never met in-person... Nevermind the Visa Process Rules, there is a fundamental relationship issue that is being overlooked..

Kenny

Wow Kenny! In such a superficial world we live in, your comment only confirms that our method of falling in love has been more meaningful, more thoughtful, and more appreciating than most conventional methods. We finish each others sentences, we contact each other when the other is hurting and have no idea, and we have learned compromise and appreciation for each other. So...I would love your VISA guidance, but your relationship guidance doesn't line up with what we know and believe as truth.

[pdmacca 3]

I'm going to have to stick up for Dawn here as I knew that I was going to marry my husband before I met him in person. We waited 10 months to meet in person after meeting online, and the only reason we waited so long was because of money. I was so sure I wanted to be with him, that his first visit here was 3 months long and he planned to spend the whole visit with me at my house. No hotel booked and no second thoughts. and after that visit there were talks of getting married right away. Of course we waited because we didn't want to rush into things. But back to what I was saying, He was that same guy I fell in love with online, and meeting in person just made it that much better.

But of course you have to meet before filing the K-1. And not to mention, It'd be a good idea to visit there and have some idea of his culture, though England isn't that much different then the US, it is different and visiting would help you understand him and his ways. For me, going to England, helped me out so I could help my husband when he got home sick once he moved here.

Kelly,

Thanks for your support. Maybe we could friend each other so I can ask your advice as we move along. Thanks again!!

Dawn

[Gemmie 142]

Very cool about your story, and for those who believe cinderella and other fairy tales are real life, more power to you.. for those in the real world, those relationships are NOT the norm and although I have no statistics, these relationships seemingly rarely last.

What does Cinderella and fairy tales have to do with this?

These relationships ARE real life. We DO live in the real world. I wanted to talk to my then-boyfriend so much that when everything was going to cr@p at home, and I had no internet or phone, I would stand outside a library at night in the freezing cold just for the chance that I could get a computer and talk to him. I quit a job that said I couldn't see him at Christmas. I travelled 6 hours to replace a missing passport the day before my flight so I could still see him. I packed all of my things and moved across the world because I wanted to be with him.

All of that is real life, and not to mention that in the 'real world' divorce and marital breakdown is running rampant anyway, so perhaps conventional relationships are missing that special something. So just because you can't understand how two people can feel that way about each other when they've never met before, don't judge others.

[LoriT 16]

WOW!!! As being the "Lori" in Colin&Lori, I am beyond offended. How dare you say I am living a fairytale and think my marriage won't last. I met someone I never would have had the chance to meet in my everyday life. I am thankful every single day for meeting him. We spend hours and hours texting, phoning, emailing, chatting via msn. I have spent more quality time COMMUNICATING with Colin and getting to know him than I have with anyone else in my entire life. Physically being apart has allowed us to get to know eachother on a much deeper level. The level of communication, trust and commitment goes far beyond anything I've ever had with someone I was able to see on a daily basis.

Neither Colin or I have the means to travel across the world time and time again to see eachother. I am a single mother raising two children, I can't just leave at the spur of the moment and spend every spare penny I have to see Colin.

I spent 2 1/2 weeks with Colin. But even before that time, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Seeing him in person only helped solidify my feelings, not change them in either direction.

It is possible to fall in love without "meeting" face to face. Love begins with your heart and mind, not with your body. Modern technology has allowed us to meet people we never would have the chance to meet otherwise.

I'll make sure to send you an invitation to our 50th wedding anniversary party.

[Colin&Lori 6]

WOW!!! As being the "Lori" in Colin&Lori, I am beyond offended. How dare you say I am living a fairytale and think my marriage won't last. I met someone I never would have had the chance to meet in my everyday life. I am thankful every single day for meeting him. We spend hours and hours texting, phoning, emailing, chatting via msn. I have spent more quality time COMMUNICATING with Colin and getting to know him than I have with anyone else in my entire life. Physically being apart has allowed us to get to know eachother on a much deeper level. The level of communication, trust and commitment goes far beyond anything I've ever had with someone I was able to see on a daily basis.

Neither Colin or I have the means to travel across the world time and time again to see eachother. I am a single mother raising two children, I can't just leave at the spur of the moment and spend every spare penny I have to see Colin.

I spent 2 1/2 weeks with Colin. But even before that time, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Seeing him in person only helped solidify my feelings, not change them in either direction.

It is possible to fall in love without "meeting" face to face. Love begins with your heart and mind, not with your body. Modern technology has allowed us to meet people we never would have the chance to meet otherwise.

I'll make sure to send you an invitation to our 50th wedding anniversary party.

agree with 100% thanks baby MWAH

PDM follow your heart and don't listen to the haters

[LoriT 16]

What does Cinderella and fairy tales have to do with this?

These relationships ARE real life. We DO live in the real world. I wanted to talk to my then-boyfriend so much that when everything was going to cr@p at home, and I had no internet or phone, I would stand outside a library at night in the freezing cold just for the chance that I could get a computer and talk to him. I quit a job that said I couldn't see him at Christmas. I travelled 6 hours to replace a missing passport the day before my flight so I could still see him. I packed all of my things and moved across the world because I wanted to be with him.

All of that is real life, and not to mention that in the 'real world' divorce and marital breakdown is running rampant anyway, so perhaps conventional relationships are missing that special something. So just because you can't understand how two people can feel that way about each other when they've never met before, don't judge others.

Very well said..

[joevegas 67]

Dawn you have got to think this thru...

You are in love with someone you've never met.. How is that even possible? Thats the question everyone is going to ask you.. The USCIS, the Embassy, the POE...

This process is lengthy, involved and very specific rules, designed to prevent fraud... You wont be able to get around the basic requirements? But ask yourself how you would consider marrying a person you've never met in-person... Nevermind the Visa Process Rules, there is a fundamental relationship issue that is being overlooked..

Kenny

Not only are they in love BUT THEY ARE ENGAGED!...you have never met in person??...you can't possibly know that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person without having smelled his breath in the morning????

[Sra Gomez 9]

I do appreciate everyone's comments regarding the Visa process. When I discovered this site, I thought the Visa process was all anyone would ask. I'm a little surprised that a few of you have questioned our relationship without knowing us. I'm not trying to be ungrateful for your advice but we are both thankful that we've found each other and understand that love is not based on physical attributes (although we've actually seen each other). I love Paul more than I've ever loved anything (in an intimate way). He has unlocked a dream that I buried many years ago. So, we will meet and have no issues with meeting...just was hoping to save our money for the journey. So, with all due respect, we are adults and we both have been in love before and are more than confident of our commitment to this process as well as each other. After all, the true test will be surviving this process, right? lol

In saying all of that...it looks like we are meeting each other and then beginning the petition process. Any help would greatly be appreciated with guidance on our Visa journey.

Thanks so much,

Dawn

Hey Dawn,

I know it seems like this will take forever, and it will be very hard waiting all this time to be with your hunny, but it will be worth it in the end. In the bright side neither you or him need a visa to visit each other, which is something a lot of us are not so lucky to have. I understand that it is frustrating to get bombarded with all this unwanted relationship advice, but I guess that's how VJ is, one big dysfunctional family.

I, like many people here, knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with the "stranger" on the other side of the computer screen, but to finally meet him in person was the icing on the cake. I admit was a very awkward couple of hours when I first arrived there, but it the end it all worked out. I guess what people are trying to say here is; marriage is not a joke, and a lot of us suffer for many months on the visa process in order to be able to be with the person we love. Its best to be 100% sure, and most of the time only a face-to-face meeting can cover that last 0.0001%.

I wish you luck and patience on your journey, and hit the visa guides here, cause they are amazing!

Bela

[kennym 275]

Kenny,

You're not in the relationships you are guessing or judging over. Do you follow people around here who met on vacation and say "Well, you only knew each other 7 days, so it's not real!!!!?"

When I met Rob I KNEW. It was a slap in the face...it was sitting down and thinking OMG I should have waited for him before I was married. It is the fairy tale. It IS finding the person you're meant to be with, and it's above your reproach or judgements.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The poster asked if they had to meet in person. Yes, yes, YES you do. Even knowing Rob was "the one" before I met him in person, I still would not have married without meeting...perhaps from caution. I know how intense your feelings are right now, I've been there, but keep in mind that if it's worth it, it's worth the wait. I waited 3 years and married 2 weeks ago. Best choice ever.

My appologies,, everyone is correct, this is none of my business..

Best of luck..

Kenny

[kennym 275]

Kenny,

You're not in the relationships you are guessing or judging over. Do you follow people around here who met on vacation and say "Well, you only knew each other 7 days, so it's not real!!!!?"

When I met Rob I KNEW. It was a slap in the face...it was sitting down and thinking OMG I should have waited for him before I was married. It is the fairy tale. It IS finding the person you're meant to be with, and it's above your reproach or judgements.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The poster asked if they had to meet in person. Yes, yes, YES you do. Even knowing Rob was "the one" before I met him in person, I still would not have married without meeting...perhaps from caution. I know how intense your feelings are right now, I've been there, but keep in mind that if it's worth it, it's worth the wait. I waited 3 years and married 2 weeks ago. Best choice ever.

Dont mean to take this thread off into the weeds, but Rob and Jill, you're taking my post way out of context.. So maybe you just want to appear cute, but I didn't state any kinda time that someone needs to know each other after meeting.. My only point was, is "you can't be in-love without meeting someone.." You can be irrational and believe it's love, but that is not love.. So take my point and put whatever twist you want on it, but rational adults do not make these kinds of comitments until the relationship has taken its course.. The things that lead to true love are as individual as anything, and I did not attempt to define that... I only said you can't be in-love unless you've had time to meet someone.. I know that there are movies and fairytales and fantasy worlds that say diferent, but keep in mind, thats not reality..

Kenny

[kennym 275]

This is just advise..

Marriage is a lifelong commitment... Not just "for the moment" commitment.. The factors that go into compatibilty cant be know until you've had time to really know someone.. I don't know how much time that is, it varies with everyone.. Don't get started on a battle of semantics.. There are to many people that believe they're in a fairy tale novel and that the rules of relationships don't apply to them... I should have kept my opinion to myself, but since you asked..

The Immigration process is based on these factors as well as others factors including fraud prevention.. I'm not a relationship expert, but everyone knows that "Love" can somewhat be powerful force that sometimes keeps us from thinking rationally.. If I see a couple making a normally bad descission, then I hope that I can say something that will cause them to think it through...

It clearly appears that my advise is not very popular, but I really encourage anyone making rash descisions about anything to stop and think things through...

Kenny

[Jewel-8 21]

I knew I wanted to marry my husband before we met in person, but only joked about it. Then a week into our roadtrip we were driving home through Death Valley and he turned to me and said in his most serious tone, "I think we should get married."

Have fun meeting, enjoy spending time in each others country before the wedding, and for F^#& sakes - score a nice ring!!! Seriously, it might be the only time he will ever give you nice jewelry. I made the mistake of going with the band in hope of getting something nice when we got back on our feet. Bad idea!

Alright, joking aside! Take a deep breath and focus on the first trip to meet each other first. Then come back here and we will all be very happy to support you through the visa process. Good luck!!

[kennym 275]

Focus on securing plenty of evidence on your trip.. Keep your plane tickets, take plenty of photos, start (if you havent already) saving evidence of your communications, phone calls, emails, etc...

Did I mention, Take a lot of photos? and also, take lots of pictures...

[Nik+Heather 121]

Some of the phrasings in this thread have been pretty harsh. No one in love appreciates having their relationship called into question. But, I think kenny's right from an overall point of view. And there's a lot of perfectly needless "Poor victimized me!!!!" in this thread.......I know online couples can feel pretty defensive sometimes (we are, I've felt it) but get a grip on it, especially here - because a lot of us are in that same boat. I've learned to own and embrace our relationship and how it evolved. The more you play up and the harder you defend the unusual-ness, the stranger and more suspicious it feels to 3rd parties, and the cycle continues. Treat your relationship as normal and true, and so will others.

There are a lot of people who feel like they are in love based on their online relationships. One day they meet, and sometimes all their dreams come true. Sometimes it doesn't work out. On VJ, we don't hear from that second outcome because they never make it this far, but they are out there. And, until you do meet, you'll never know which side you're on! I think it's really great that our relationships which started out online came to such beautiful fruition when we all met in person, but to assume that anyone who feels in love in a virtual relationship will absolutely just keep growing when they meet in person is just silly.